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Me, In Numbers!

1. You might be here for one of three reasons: My LDS Sparkledammerung series of posts, because you follow my website Hey, Don't Judge Me, or you're a spambot from Russia and you want me to buy your penis cream.
2. I am not currently in the market for Penis Cream, but thank you for thinking of me! I'm a lady, so I have no need for that stuff.
3. I'm a Master Gardener, and used to have loads of time to answer questions. I don't really anymore, but this is a helpful list of gardening tips/landscape info for you. :) Leave me a question here, and I'll do my best to answer it for you!
4. Even though we get really chatty here, try and remember that this is actually one person's journal (mine) and unless I ask for you to go off on all the reasons you hate everything I love, you should probably just...go ahead and not do that.
5. Because it's really chatty around here, feel free to strike up convos when inspired. Lurk, comment, come, go, add me or remove me, I won't mind. It's just the internet.
6. But just because it's the internet, you don't get to be a dick. I live by a strong "Don't be a dick" policy. Manners are free; there's no excuse to not have any.
7. I have a family, run a growing business, act, and write. I don't always have time to comment. It's not meant to be mean, sometimes I just lose track of time. I will ALWAYS thank you for reading any fiction I post, because that means a lot to me.
8. I forgot what 8 was for.
9. Isn't my Spock mood icon awesome? bonus points if you know why. Alas, I will not share it, so...sorry?
10. I love nachos. And tequila. And really stinky cheeses. And red wine, but I'm a bit of a snob about it. But I always share.

I just really love old ladies.

(I originally posted this on my Tumblr, but I know many of you aren't over there. Also, I thought it would be nice to have something positive over here for a change instead of my absence/worrying.)

Today I spoke to a neighborhood garden club where the youngest member was in her 60s. They were dressed to the nines: full hair and makeup, earrings, necklaces, silken jackets, the whole thing. Brunch preceded the meeting. Crystal dishware, the good silver samovars for the coffee and tea, antique silver sugar spoons and cut-glass dishes for the lemons. Bacon-laden frittatas, delicious fruits, pickled tomatoes, Danishes… I didn’t see all of the food available, honestly. And of course, they had decorative name tags. :) (They’ve all been meeting for 15+ years, but name tags make it OFFICIAL.)

These are all deeply southern women with nicknames like “Muffy” and so forth (and they were not all white, which does my Dallas-heart good). They clapped appreciatively when I was announced, nodded and smiled at each other as I listed my bona fides, and then listened attentively as we toured the garden, asking fascinating questions.

One woman was in her late 80s, and her makeup was flawless. The silver-bob, not-a-hair-out-of-place, type. She didn’t walk very well, but the other women were prepared for this and almost fought over who would offer her an arm. She smiled demurely and nodded at this and that as we moved through the tour. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a more queenly woman in my life.

Every now and then I would say something like, “You’re going to have to get your hands dirty or, hey, get a grandchild to do this!” and they would laugh and say, “Oh, we don’t mind getting dirty!” Old-fashioned ladies who have the mindset of a Rosie the Riveter, I tell you. The meeting went on longer than expected, but we were having too much fun.

(And the hostess–my most favorite client ever ever–sent me off with a fantastic bottle of wine as well as payment! I mean!! Best day ever.)

PS: my Instagram is now mostly plants, flowers, videos where I answer questions, if you're interested! @StoneyboBoney)
ethrosdemon, Kassie, has passed away. I learned this the day of her passing, and with respect to the "details," I only know that she was private about her lingering illness and that her family isn't having a service/to do about it. I'm not seeking more information that wasn't mine to know.

Our relationship ended about six years ago, over differing opinions on fandom, how we each wanted to talk about it and write about it, and that led to the creation of what Hey, Don't Judge Me is today. (So thanks for pushing me to get that out there in the world. I've enjoyed writing for that site tremendously.)

When I thought we were ending our working relationship, she evidently meant our real life friendship. It was a hard pill to swallow for me.

We'd been friends. We talked on the phone regularly. We encouraged each other's writing. (I loved her writing. It was how we became friends, that damn epic RPS with everyone from the CW and beyond.) We had some really intense disagreements, but one thing about our arguments: she fought with me because she respected me. If she didn't care about what I had to say, she wouldn't have wasted her energy arguing, you know? That's who she was.

I've been trying to put my feelings together for losing someone who had been a close friend, privy to all my private real life issues, but someone who had walked away from me. And you know what? It doesn't matter in the end. I'm sorry for her family and friends. She was bigger than life in a lot of ways, elbowing her way into conversations because she had something interesting to say, but if she elbowed her way into your life, it was because she thought you were worth her time in that moment.

I'll take that. Rest in peace, Kassie.
but couldn't because of family health issues?

Turns out Instagram is a GREAT way for me to get back to that: answering questions from regular people and helping folks save money, water and energy by learning what to do (and what not to do).

IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO ANSWER ANY OF YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT THE LANDSCAPE, FOLLOW THIS LINK, double tap (if you're on your phone) and leave me a question in the comment section. Questions can range from pest management, trees, lawn, flowers, veggies, perennials, and "What's that bug?"

Gardening makes me so happy, but helping other people be happy in the garden is EVEN BETTER. <3

(Feel free to spread this to any and all, btw! And follow me on IG for more gardening tips, tricks, etc.)
If you know that reference, we're probably related/best friends.

MIA again, but I realized that not everyone migrated to other sites with me, so an update of sorts:

Book 2, Bitter Springs, is coming out on December 3rd. It's an historical PoC M/M, and I got a glowing review from Publisher's Weekly that left me lightheaded with relief. I finally feel like I've truly found my writing voice, and it was a HUGE relief for them to say:

Simple, clean storytelling and an uncomplicated plot keep the story quietly intimate. Stone (The Bones of You) walks the fine line of keeping her protagonists traditionally masculine but never posturingly macho, and they're often vulnerable with each other and gentle with the horses.

There's a free book giveaway going on--five copies up for grabs--and if you click above, you can enter to win one.

When the book is released, I'll be going on a "virtual book tour" to about 25 different book review blogs to talk about the book, and while that may not be your cup of tea, at every "stop" there's yet another chance to win a copy of my book as well as a $25 gift certificate to the Interlude Press store. (The stops will be on my Official Author Page, for those tracking.) Also, there will be a free short story on my page that ties into the Bitter Springs world, a story from the POV of the Mescalero Apache character, and I agonized over writing these two things because I wanted to be respectful to the culture and also have an engaging story for people to read. [deep breath]

Also, remember the short story I wrote years ago about the Mormon missionaries? That's going to be published this coming spring, 2016. :) (Good timing with the recent BS the LDS church just splattered on the world, eh?)

Basically I'm doing everything I can to hustle and make writing a career (there's a lot of stuff I can't talk about yet but I'm super excited for what's to come), and if you want to keep up with me more on the regular, I'm at Tumblr (my goofy, regular ol' me one or my Author Page, which isn't boring I promise, it just doesn't update often) or at my official Author Blog.

Hey! Still alive.

Life is getting far better for me since the last time I posted, but I still find it hard to make my way over here with regularity. [I'm usually on Tumblr, Twitter or IG when I have food/wine to share.)

My book came out on Nov 18, and has been doing well. However, this morning I woke up to a review of it in USA Today, so that's got me freaking out in the best of ways. (They loved it.) So that's a rec from USA Today, Romantic Times, and Publisher's Weekly. Yeah, pretty proud of it. :)

Time to get my nose back down to work on Book 2. <3

Huh. I, uh, went AWOL there, didn't I?

Guys, I just hate LJ. I had a long post written out, and it deleted it.


I'm never here to post. I'm just not. It's a ghost town. I read your posts, but I'm not posting. I'm on Tumblr, HDJM, or Twitter. This website has just become cumbersome where there are faster methods of disseminating information for me.

Life has been almost more than I can handle, but I am.
Getting divorced
getting published
getting regular work
getting awesome reviews from Publisher's Weekly (which, they get 15,000 books a month to review. They only review 7,000 a YEAR. And I'm one of them--they're not always positive reviews, either.)
getting nominated for some pretty sweet literary awards that I can't detail just yet, as well as being shortlisted for others yet to be determined
I've signed for book 2 & 3

I haven't had a lot of support in my life, and this publishing venture was a surprising mix of "yay!" and "this is a terrible idea" from the people in my life, and all I have to say is I'm happier and feeling more accomplished than I ever have, so.

If you're still reading, hey! You're awesome! Sorry I'm not here much. I'm super prolific elsewhere, though. *shrug*

confession time

ever since I got my new MacBook, meaning I lost Seamagic, I forget to post to LJ. That little purple icon on my desktop was my connection here. =/

It's been a while, let's see:

  • Life is stressful, but it's always stressful

  • Life is awesome, but it's always awesome

  • I read the Captive Prince books (trilogy, only 1&2 are out) and really enjoyed them, aside from them being somewhat rapey, but that's what you get with a slave fic, right? I didn't read the fine print. But! I still really liked the world building and am invested in the characters, so I'll be reading #3

  • I wrote about playing Hip Hop during church (when I was a Gospel Doctrine teacher) and that might amuse you. :)

  • I tweeted the new ChuckD song, got retweeted by him, and am now being followed by loads of Hip Hop twitter accounts, and I feel like this gives me street cred, lol /whitewoman

  • I posted a recipe on my blog in which I get increasingly frustrated and drunk (because of who I was cooking with. The recipe - one pot pasta - was super straightforward and easy)

  • I need a haircut. I also need a buddy who lives on my block so I can go have lunch and talk gay protagonists while sipping mojitos =/

not dead yet!

I'm about to fall over from exhaustion, but a quick check in since I haven't posted in quite some time.

1. I'm fine!
2. I'm busy! (It's a good busy)
3. I've taken #2 on an excursion to look at schools for when she graduates next year.
4. I'm mostly on Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram (lots of vacay pics!) or my blog. Sorry. I crave the communication.
5. This morning I was on YouTube for a live chat with Interlude Press to talk with two of their other debut authors about our books. There was fond reminiscing about getting schnockered with dovil in San Francisco, a shout out for how fandom is awesome and people who minimize it have no problem with "normalizing" dudes who stand half naked in warpaint at football games and have fantasy football teams, because let's get real. Fandom shame is dumb.
6. crazydiamondsue said my hair was on point, so I have that going for me. :)
7. Imma crack open a bottle of wine, watch Mexican cinema, and fall asleep. Hopefully in that order.

Exciting news (for me, at least!)

So, I'm publishing a book this fall, and it's an older piece of fanfiction that I reworked to be publishable. It's not a case of me "filing off the serial numbers" or just c&p-ing the names, but was a month of me cutting out huge chunks, reimagining all of the characters and their stories, and working that back into the framework. Dialog had to change, situations and locations had to change, too. I'm incredibly proud of how it turned out.

CLICK HERE ON MY HOME PAGE to see the beautiful cover art (it's a wraparound!) and read a few excerpts.

And come noon, CST today, there will be a second post with another excerpt and images of the protagonist, Oliver. (He's super handsome.)

ION, I started Krav Maga lessons yesterday and am sore as hell. I have a massive crush on my instructor, but she's so nice! She gave me all sorts of praise and let me punch and kick her. MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. Lol.

ION 2, because of the promotions for HDJM's Game of Thrones posts, our readership has grown to the thousands. It's amazing. And everyone has been respectful of the spoiler-phobic. We still manage to have great discussions without ruining the fun.

And we've added Orange Is The New Black (and I'll be recapping The Leftovers once that starts), if you're looking for something to read this summer.
and that it was too much to talk about, which is an understatement. May was just a shit month, full stop.

But Sally Girl meant a lot to our family, to me, and to some of you, and I finally got to a place where I could laugh about things, and this is how I heal: laughing and talking about it.

Post with great pics of our sweet girl and laughter amongst the tears, as is appropriate.

I see my posts here dwindling, honestly. There's not a lot of interest, and I'm more active elsewhere. I won't abandon this entirely, but it would be a lie to say this is my first, second, or even third most active locale. Just as a head's up. Big news will still be posted here, but I don't know that I'll post daily or maybe even weekly on LJ. I'm moving my pro blog into the sphere of home base. It's just easier for me.


Catching up with everyone. We all good? Crappy? Hungry? All three in various degrees? SAME.

If you haven't seen my previous posts, then let me remind you that I'm gearing up my professional writer blog (BECAUSE COME NOVEMBER, I WILL BE A PHYSICAL BOOK IN A BRICK AND MORTAR PROFESSIONAL WRITER, HEY HEY NOW!) with regular posts to drum up an audience.

1. Mormon Mondays, posted every Mon.
2. Trade Day Tuesdays, posted once a month where folks can pimp their projects, recs, etc. Hopefully this will gain traction and we'll all be a great big sharing community of things that are awesome.
3. Writing Wednesday, every Wed. [LINK IS FOR TODAY], and this isn't me trying to tell you how to write, but simply talking about the process and most importantly: ENCOURAGING YOU IF YOU NEED IT, because that's how I roll. (Ex: one guy from the HDJM comments section is now inspired to write, so he's checking in with me because don't we all need head pats? Of course! I can do that for you, too!)
4. Throwback Thursday, every week, random hilarity/music/what have you
5. Free For All Friday, WINE. CHEESE. MAYBE PR0NY PICS OR LINKS. It's a wildcard. like me.

HEY. I am hungry like nobody's business, but I'm waiting for my girls to get their buns downstairs so we can go eat. TEENAGERS, pfft.

ION, I was carded at the liquor store yesterday, and I don't even care if the guy was smarmy and salesman-ish, because I WILL TAKE THAT. That shizz will fuel me like nobody's business.

ION 2, I've been posting a bunch of TW fic lately, including the latest one this weekend, an Amnesia/fake-pretend relationship fic called BLACK OUT DAYS. I'm having a lot of fun playing in that fandom, I have to say. The show is kind of crap in that the writing isn't good or cohesive, but the ACTORS. They are giving 110% (which is mathematically impossible and yet) and are so pretty and just trying to subvert their creator at every turn. I approve. And when I don't: I fic.

Links for your Monday!

Hello - we had a hell of a storm move through last night, so my morning was spent pulling patio furniture out of the pool. Fun! (We are in such a drought, though, so the rain is very welcome.)

1. It's Mormon Monday on my pro-site, and today's story is of me horribly misunderstanding what George Michaels' song "Father Figure" was about. I had tears down my face, laughing, as I wrote this.

2. Game of Thrones - I'll just leave the link. OH MY GOODNESS, THE VISUALS.

3. We're recapping Orange Is The New Black on HDJM, now, and Hillary is awesome. Come support our newest writer writing about a AMAZING LGBTQ show.

4. I bit the bullet and paid for us to move to our own private server to keep up with the load/crashes/etc. MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IT WAS WORTH IT by spreading the love for the shows you're into! CLick those links! Like, +1, tweet, Tumble, etc. Every time you do, a lizard gets its wings. YOU ARE MAKING DRAGONS, IS WHAT I AM SAYING.

5. I cannot deal with all of the pictorial goodies coming out of ALphaCon in Austria. IT IS TOO MUCH. (hence my icon)

You asked for it, you got it!

[whispers: Toyota.] <-- I am old.

Hey! There's a new post up at my Pro Site, and since it's Writing Wednesday, we're talking process. We're talking kicking word count's ass. And most importantly, we're talking about doing that while having kids/jobs/worlds collapsing in a blaze of fire all around you.

This ain't yo Daddy's writing blog. It's mine. I mean, it's in the title? Right...

Right in the URL? Me? I can say with 100% conviction that I am not your Daddy.

ION, I saw the cover art for my book and I literally gasped. It's so pretty, you guys. WHEN I CAN SHARE, I WILL.

[ETA] We have a new recapper at HDJM and she's doing ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK. Starting from the beginning to catch us all up before S2 premieres this weekend. Go show some love! <3


I am bored. It's that general sort of malaise that I get every time this year, itching to grab a knapsack and hobo it up around the world for a year or two. Man, I would love nothing more than to travel everywhere and see everything and eat all the foods.

Mostly that last one. (I probably need Second Lunch...)

After a few technical difficulties, I've gotten my new home base website working how I'd like, and I'll start posting regularly there. I'm still reading LJ every day, even if it only takes a few minutes. Remember when we'd be here for hours, there were more posts than you could keep up with, threaded comments that were so awesome, fun, interesting, shocking, whatever? SIGH.

Question: is there anyone who would like me to post an update here when I've posted at the above site? Or would you actually hate that? Feel free to be honest.

Lastly: I sat down with the intentions of working on Real Things, which morphed into maybe starting a fanfic I've wanted to tackle but have struggled with, and ended up starting a whole new fic. An amnesia Sterek fic. BECAUSE I LOVE ALL THE TROPES, OKAY? Wow, I just really love those. Future fic, starts off horribly sad, and I should shut up and get back to work, huh?

HEY, GUYS. I want fajitas, so if you could send some over through the fwoomp tube, that would be super fantastic. <3

But #notallmen? Prove it.

I posted this to my Tumblr this morning and realized someone here might be interested. TW: for talk of sexual assault and misogyny.

"You have to be decent all the time, men, not just when it suits you, not just when you think it matters, not just when you think someone’s paying attention. ALL the time. EVERY time. You have to change. Women? Hold those boys’ feet to the fire when they mess up, when they say stupid, crass, idiotic things. Hold them to the fire so long that they blister and scar, make them so tender that they will know—they will know what it feels like to walk on eggshells when confronted with the opposite sex’s rage."

Read the whole thing here.

(And if you're a guy reading this and your reaction is to tell me that you're not like those guys? You missed the whole point--this isn't about how YOU feel. Sit a few plays out, champ, ears open.)
I know, I know. If you only knew all the hell that's been happening, you wouldn't be irritated with me. (There's ALWAYS someone irritated with me. Que sera sera.)

IT HAS BEEN A COUNTRY WESTERN SONG, OKAY. (Including, and I'm sad to say, we had to put poor Sally Girl down recently. I would prefer not to talk about that, thank you. :( )

But no one wants to hear the complaining from ol' Stoney, and I accept that, so here are the things of goodness (because why NOT focus on good stuff? E-ZACTLY.)

1. I went to NYC w/ flaming_muse and had a grand time. The food alone was worth it, and that's not counting the stellar company, the museums, the Hi-Line public garden, and meeting klaineaddict, who is LOVELY.

2. If you want to see my pics of that (and want to see what I'm drinking/eating) then following my Instagram is a good idea.

2.A - I was stuck all day in Newark due to a missed flight/overbooked flights and tweeted about it. I have to say that my airport tweets are pretty awesome. :D

3. BUT MOST EXCITINGLY, I'm gearing up to publish my first book (a romance BUT DON'T LEAVE YET) in real, honest-to-goodness hardback in a brick and mortar book form this November, and as such, need to have an accessible website that's all polished and stuff. CHECK IT OUT.

4. I promise to keep it from being boring. As much as that's possible. AND AS SUCH, I have a schedule of what will be posted there!

Mormon Mondays - tales of Mormon days past, news, etc. TODAY IS A CLASSIC TALE YOU MIGHT REMEMBER: The Date Who Brought The Date To The Date
Trade Day Tuesdays - I want what you're loving. That can be YOU! But you have to share something not-you related. Great way to network and introduce people to cool stuff
Writing Wednesdays - My process, your process, support group, clinging
Throwback Thursdays - MUSIC! Oh do I love music. I'll throw out a theme (I listen to [blank] when I'm getting ready to go out) and you come at me with what you love. Links or just names, both are great!
Free For All Fridays - Let's just get real. This is going to be what I'm drinking on Fridays. And eating. And who knows. (I will probably need to change this to Stone Soup. Hurr.) Imma want YOUR free for all, too.

HDJM rules apply: be cool, be engaging, no put downs or rude behavior.

5. I am still in my pajamas. I love long weekends. (It's been raining all day/all yesterday, and we need it so badly here.)
Hey gang. How you doing? Hanging in there? Making it work? Hiding? I'm doing this thing where I'm trying to kill time, waiting for word back on a Big Project, and I'm basically wandering around aimlessly. I SHOULD be cleaning, but eff that noise! :D

SO LET'S DO A POLL! Clickity for the TickityCollapse )

So there's all that. :D
Oh, it was glorious. Just enough of breeze filtering through the Italian Cypress to keep me happy, birds flitting about, and I had my first sighting of Monarchs! That means hummingbirds are soon to follow. <3

Day 3 of the HIIT kicked me in my butt. On days with that many exercises, I need to skip the 5 mile jog beforehand. On the other hand, I worked up an appetite for TWO lunches. \o/

Random fun story: when my dad was young (about 24), he was a returned GI, married and two babies under his charge while starting up a new business and getting his Masters Degree in guitar performance. (Lazy git.) The problem with his Masters was that his professors at the local college he was attending didn't have the credentials to teach him. So they came to his studio where he was teaching local students, got the appropriate credentials, and then gave them back to my dad. Ha!

I just think the idea of having to teach someone something in order to learn from them in turn is hilarious. :)

Day 2 of HIIT, etc

I got cocky going into today's HIIT, essentially a series of planks, and was laughing at myself 3/4 of the way through when my entire body was shaking. But I did it! Stuck to the time, etc. Now for pasta! :D

There is some awesome traffic at HDJM, which is always nice to see, but there are loads of former lurkers coming out to chat. You know, there really aren't many places out in the innarwebs where a person can just squee, you know? Even in innocuous posts on other sites (example: recap round up [link, link, link] wank and nasty behavior rears its ugly head. It's so baffling. I mean, I'm an adult who has been online for a few decades now, so I know this is what happens, I'm just continually surprised at the ENERGY it takes to be an utter shit of a person. Ahahaa. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT?!)

ION, I made these peanut butter fudge cookies over the weekend, both without the extra thin drizzle of peanut butter over the top and with, and they're def. better with. It cuts some of the richness of the fudge. And it's really frustrating that the recipe isn't balanced and you end up with extra fudge.

...I just realized how crazy that sounds. BUT HEAR ME OUT. It's because I would rather there be more end product than a tupperware of fudge in my fridge, is all.

ION #2, I'm working on these exercises, because I think a) that boy is ridiculously cute and earnest and b) I WANT TO BE A SUPERHERO AND DO A PLANCHE. Wow, that's awesome.
GAME OF THRONES IS BACK and I couldn't be more excited.

I had a massive cold last week, and was lazy (read: stuck doing edits for hours on end) for the week before that, so I'm feeling decidedly out of shape and out of sorts. A happy Laura is a moving Laura, so I got back into the swing of things with my usual 5 mile walk (I'll kick that back up to 7 next week) and have added a HIIT workout regime to get my cardio back in shape, because I don't like wheezing.

But I'll be wheezing every morning for a bit... [ACTUAL FREE PROGRAM UNDER THE CUT] If you aren"t familiar with HIIT workouts,Collapse )

Fine Young Cannibals

Remember that group? *cough* HEY WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE WALKING DEAD FINALE WITH ME? Because you should click that and chat away. The comments have been really lively with good discussion lately.

mrmonkeybottoms is back with the Buffy Rewatch, and Prophecy Girl is up. Holy smokes, it's been a LONG TIME since that aired. Wow, I feel old.

I haven't had lunch. I'm super hungry I have leftover curry hidden away that is calling to me.

ION, I stayed up way too late last night, unable to shut my brain off, which is sometimes a good thing because I have stories I want to write (yay!), but MAYBE NOT AT 2 AM.

There is no Teen Wolf tonight. Huh. Looks like I'm rewatching Pride & Prejudice for reasons. /cryptic LOL

Of course people have to be ugly when they can't get something for free any longer. =/ The amount of hate Sam is getting through Tumblr and now HDJM (I'm blocking things from getting through after making an example) is ridiculous.

I take my job at HDJM very seriously. It WILL REMAIN a safe place for fannishness.

For more, click here.

For those of you who are always fun and happy and excited to talk about things you love, YOU ARE WHY WE DO THIS.

A note on Hannibal recaps + sundries

If you're on my flist and you read Sam's (hilarious, awesome) Hannibal recaps on HDJM, you might have to wait a while for new ones. I fully support her decision to take a step back and rethink things after this recent episode. SPOILER FOR LATEST EPISODECollapse )

We'll post to the site's Tumblr when new recaps arrive, should that happen. <3

However, you don't have to wait for this week's Walking Dead recap, as it's up and filled with helpful protips and my theorizing about the season finale next week. CLEEK HERE!

ION, it's so lovely and warm and sunny outside. Ahhhh! Perfect weather to rip out the garden and burn it to the ground. (There's a pernicious weed that has taken over the shade bed all winter - underground runners like crazy. Fun! *cries*)

I am not prepared for the season finale of TW tonight. Wait, I can find solace in the AMAZINGLY TALENTED FANDOM WHEN IT ENDS. /Happy sigh

Last night we made buffalo burgers with bacon-onion jam, chipotle Tabasco sauce and goat cheese on top, and if you heard a pleased wail last night and couldn't figure out what that was, IT WAS ME. :D

*pats seat next to me*

Flist? I just spent a ridiculous amount of money on 6 bottles of wine (AFTER a discount for buying 6 and AFTER a discount for using a debit card) and I ain't even sorry. Life's too short for shitty shoes or shitty wine. Buy the best you can. And with the way the Mr's business is growing, I did just that. :D

Speaking of, he's pretty much going to be gone for the month of April, so there will be much sleeping on the diagonal that month. I anticipate getting a LOT of rest. \o/

My children no longer need me. I mean, they DO because I'm the magic fairy who buys food and clothes and blah blah, but they are happily engaged in their own lives for the most part, and they rarely want my attention. *Unless it's for money, clothes, food, blah blah. I am surprisingly not sad about this. I am not one of those mothers who cannot imagine life without their wee ones. ALL I DO IS IMAGINE IT. Ahahahaha. I kid. Kind of. Those of you with teenagers/college age kids know JUST what I'm talking about.

HEY GUYS IT IS SUNNY AND WARM AND I HAVE THINGS POPPING UP IN MY GARDEN! It's making me happy. Oh! And I'm going to film little shorts on my new MacBook Pro for Mastering the Garden and put them on YouTube. I can't count on my local film crew, and I'm getting upset at seeing all the gardening mistakes popping up all over once again (ahaha). So if you have a question for me, post it in comments and I'll see if I can't make a video for you. :D
If you know what that's from, you're welcome for the Seinfeld ear worm. "Co-STAN-za!"

I have some serious wanderlust, gang. SERIOUS WANDERLUST. How about a poll? We haven't done that in a while.
Poll #1961118 Let's Go: FILL IN THE BLANK

I like to travel.

Yes! It's awesome! New things, new places, new experiences, new identities, new crimes...
Yes! But minus that weird stuff up above. That got out of hand quickly.
No. I hate traveling. I hate leaving my house. Wait, I hate leaving my bed.

If I could pick up and go anywhere in springtime, it would be:

somewhere warm and tropical
somewhere warm and deserty
somewhere warm and Urban/Big City
somewhere temperate and beachy
somewhere mountainous and private
somewhere that is a Big City/Urban
somewhere else I will mention in comments
up your butt with a coconut

If you wanted some solitude on this springtime vacation, your number one pick of locations would be:

I prefer:

a trip where I pack nothing but a pair of clean britches, hiking boots, and a camera
a trip where I pack nothing but a bikini.
a trip where I pack nothing but fabulous outfits for fabulous meals/shows/events.
a trip where I pack condoms, disguises, and bail money.

Your fries come with:

sea salt, nothing else.
melty cheese, salt, pepper!
melty cheese, salt, pepper, bacon bits, jalapenos!
that shake. ;)


Monday list

1. I started recapping The Walking Dead again after getting a few nice messages from people *cough*whohadnevercommentedlinkedlikedsharedatthesitebeforeandwereupsetthattheirfreewordsweren'tthereanymore*cough* Guys: no one likes writing into a vacuum. (Also, the stats don't lie and readership dropped WAY down. But now that the season is almost over, it's picking up again. Hmm.) ANYWAY. Last night's ep THE GROVE is right here, and I wrote the previous 3 eps into one condensed post here.

2. Please, if you read people's recaps (esp. on our site), recaps like the awesome ones for Sleepy Hollow, SPN and Hannibal (for starters) and you ENJOY them, go to the trouble of clicking "Like." Or G+ (lol, is anyone using that?) Or sharing on Twitter or Tumblr. Or comment! Those girls spend HOURS writing for bupkis. Other websites are run by corporations that are able to pay their writers, so at least they're getting that compensation. Remember that we contribute to HDJM simply because we love fandom and want to share a happy/fan-based space with YOU. <3

3. I spent the weekend reading a MASSIVE fanfic that I kept hoping would start making sense, and it never did. Then it just ended (and there was NO STEREK BEYOND A KISS OR TWO. I WAS PROMISED STEREK. Stiles LITERALLY SAID to Derek towards the end, "So I think this won't ever happen.") and I gasped angrily and flipped off my Kindle. Also, it was rated Explicit and there was NO EXPLICIT CONTENT. Nothing made SENSE. The POV flipped between multiple characters with each section, and even worse: THERE WERE NO DIALOG TAGS until 10 conversations in, so I had to do that thing where I had to count backwards to see who the hell was saying what. 25% of the time I never could figure it out because the POV flipped and it was never resolved WHOSE POV IT WAS.

There were comments saying how brilliant it was, etc., and that was why I DL'd it in the first place. Now I just think "Is every one here incredibly high?"

Well, it's not like I'm out a dollar or anything, but it was a real head scratcher.

4. A group of girlfriends (I'm bring introduced to through my old high school buddy I mentioned reconnecting with a few posts back) are planning an awesome trip to Bali in September, and I'm pretty sure I'm going. I am INCREDIBLY excited about it, as Bali is on my Go To list for places I where I want to run away.

5. I'm very hungry. I want hot, bubbly cheese. Or sushi. Not together, though. =/ WHAT ARE YOU EATING, FLIST? And do you have a bite for me? :D


Back from a quick and mostly unplanned trip to DC for the girls' Spring Break. The Mr. threw it all together and sprung it on us last minute. It was a really good time, but wow, did we pack in the days. Walked miles and miles all over the city, the museums, back at National Harbor where we stayed. I love that my teens still enjoy museums.

It was focused on the girls and filling their noggins with information/history and eating where the Mr. made reservations. Allow me to highly recommend Bond 45, if only for the lamb ragout with freshly made gnocchi, pillowy soft and flavorful. That sauce was the type to lick the bowl clean, let me tell you. Their lasagne was ridiculously good, as were the scallops. (Uh, skip the Red Velvet cake. Disappointing.)

The weather took a turn for the worse (as y'all on the east coast well know) and we had delay after delay trying to get out of DC, took a side trip to Alabama just to get home, and finally made it back late last night, where I kissed the animals and fell into bed. And I'm the genius who scheduled a mammogram this morning, almost forgot, got there two minutes late, and had the pleasure of a mammogram. (Ha. They suck. They're important, but they suck.)

Refilled the house with food, laundry sorted and started, and now I'm ready to fall asleep and nap for nine days. HOW ARE YOU?

Wednesday Random

For whatever reason, I scheduled a million (three) appointments with various doctors yesterday and felt like a prize-winning pig by the end of it. And while I don't excel in many things, one thing I am SUPER GREAT at is being healthy, evidently. Like, two doctors came in with mine to marvel at my labs and my EKG. I'm apparently textbook healthy, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.

It was probably strange for me to thank my OB/GYN for the super gentle Pap-Smear, huh? But guys, I haaaaaaate those more than anything else, and I barely noticed this time. There are some of you nodding your head because you get it. That's a big deal.

Did you know that biologically speaking, you aren't attracted to people who have a similar smell as you, which is nature's way of preventing families "mingling" too closely? I believe this is why I want to burn my house down when my son comes in from riding his bike, or I venture too close to his room. SCIENCE WANTS ME TO KICK HIM TO THE CURB. I mean, nurture him and allow him to spread his wings and fly. Ahem.

This weekend I made bacon-onion jam and let me tell you something: that business is the freaking business right there. Also, it's surprisingly not fattening. I mean, it's a bunch of onions cooked down for hours (in bacon fat, true) with some salt and balsamic vinegar to finish it out. And a few pieces of bacon. BUT STILL. 10 giant onions, 5 pieces of bacon. Not too shabby. For my dinner last night I made crostinis with a heaping spoonful of the jam and a disc of goat cheese on top, slapped under the broiler, and then shoved into my mouth. I was a happy girl.

This is the last time I'll mention that fic [Kindred Spirits] that I wrote, because it has run its course, it seems. The people who would have found it interesting have done so, have read it, and have moved on. It didn't pique people's interest like I thought it would, and I'm telling myself to reach zen about it. In comparison to other fandoms I've written for, it's done very well. So. Get over it, me. OM. /lotus position

Time for me to roast some Brussels sprouts for my lunch, nom nom!!

BORED NOW [a list of random things]

I am bored. I want to get a backpack of essentials and disappear for about three years, just wander the world Cane-style. [pan flutes] It's that weird place where winter is coming to a close here and spring is attempting to spring and it has me fidgety and antsy and wanting to DO. CREATE. MAKE. CHANGE.

I've just spent the winter affixed to my chair writing, and now that I'm finished with that story, I need something else. WHAT DO.

I ordered myself a new computer, and...I'm going with a Mac. A fancy Mac at that. My husband has one for work, and wow, is it better than my funky little Dell I've had for almost 7 years. AND YEAH I KNOW THAT IS OLD FOR A LAPTOP. Which is why I'm getting a new one.

Have y'all seen that Amtrak is going to offer "writer's residences" on board for cross-country trips for free/low cost? YEAH I COULD GET BEHIND THAT. I'd want to dress like Rosalind Russel in My Girl Friday every day, though.

I bought an inversion table for the Mr. as his Christmas present, something he's been asking for for years and then hasn't used it but once. Holy smokes, I love it. (And you can do curls on them and really work those core muscles! *pats belly*)

I changed my dad's wireless network name to "FBI SURVEILLANCE VAN" yesterday because the man needs to learn to change up his passwords. And not have them be FIVE LETTERS, OH MY GOD, DAD, THAT HAS BEEN YOUR PASSWORD SINCE MY CHILDHOOD. Apparently he has some "illegal music software" on his ancient computer, it's like, 16-bit midi shit, and he was convinced that the NSA found out. My son called to tell me all of this, and was crying from laughter. I'm a terrible person, I know. But that shit's funny, I'm sorry.

BORED BORED BORED I AM SO TIRED OF BEING A HOUSEWIFE AHHHHHHHHH [don't take this to mean I want a job, lol. I want to be freeeeee]

Here's your Friday random

1. I had chicken tenders from Raising Cane's today because I wanted the dipping sauce. I don't DO things like Ranch or ketchup, but this stuff, man. It clearly has an addictive substance in it that makes you crave it fortnightly.
2. If you said that last bit in a ridiculous Scottish accent, I like you a lot.
3. My butthead black kitty has been my friend lately, trying to sit in my lap, head butting me for pets... I'm fairly certain he's trying to lure me into a sense of false security so he can kill and eat me.
4. I have been drinking many delicious wines and eating many delicious cheeses as of late.
5. I finally began posting that big TW fic that is really good, I promise, and it's going over like a lead balloon because I guess I have no idea what most people enjoy reading.
6. But the handful of people who are liking it REALLY like it, so that makes me feel infinitely better.
7. There was not a single cloud in the sky this morning on my jog, and it's going to be in the 70s all weekend and I have wee baby plants sproinging up in the flower beds and this makes me happy.
8. I forgot what 8 was for.
9. I wish there was a new Fallout/Elder Scrolls game out because they are my favorite.
10. I really need to take a trip AWAY FROM ALL OF MY FAMILY. Just somewhere I can wander, eat good foods, maybe a museum or nine. You know, anywhere.
11. What's up, buttercup?

Fic Post - Kindred Spirits, TW, [NC-17/E]

FINALLY posting this - one chapter a day, as per usual, still tweaking the last chapters, but it's all written. Y'all know I can't do a WIP.


Title: Kindred Spirits
Rating: E/NC-17, will clearly mark chapters for you weirdos that don't like reading about LOVE BONERS
Pairing: Sterek, also massive Stilinski Family Stuff, Scott and Stiles brotp, Scott, Stiles and Allison friendship because that's the best
Summary: Take Teen Wolf. Plop it in AoGG world. There you have it. (Jackson makes a deliciously perfect Josie Pye. It's a nod TO AoGG, not a rewriting of AoGG, because that's cheating.
Warnings: Kate Argent exists, implied homophobia due to the time, but it's mostly internal worry about outside perceptions, slow burn, hanging out in chicken coops, use of the word "fizzing"
Beta'd by the amazing FlamingMuse - who always makes me write all the words and cleans up my comma abuse/lack of necessary commas - and Sheafrotherdon - who loves Anne as much as I do and helped me stay focused on that world. <3 It wouldn't exist without the two of them whapping me over the head. (WITH LOVE.)

Read it on the Ao3 here. Or don't, I'm not the boss of you. :)

*taps mic* Is this thing still on?

Hello! I'm coming out of my self-imposed blackout because I'm just about finished with my deadlines and feel like I can breathe again. WHEW.

1. WALKING DEAD. Holy darkness. I know a lot of people have stopped watching, which is baffling to me. To each his own, I know, but the character arcs are finally paying off in a huge way. This is a long con type show, not simple action/adventure. (But yeah, filled with some unlikeable people, etc.)

2. I wrote "The End" on that massive AoGG/TW fic this weekend. OMG, apparently I only write novel-length fiction now? It's good practice, that's for sure. I still have edits/tweaks to do before I post. I wanted to start posting today, but it's a school holiday and I think I might need to murder my children. But I'll begin posting right after, promise! :D

3. I'm coming to terms with the way people are consuming media/behaving fannishly, and it is slowly elbowing me out. That's just the way it is, and I'm learning to accept that the way I view/want to talk about shows isn't the way most people do, so I may stop recapping. It's just a lot of work not to have interaction. (And thank you to the three of you who continue to talk to me! I know you do it out of loyalty, and I appreciate it.) I'm not shutting down HDJM or anything drastic like that, our Supernatural posts get almost 2,000 likes (WOW, way to go, Vinnie!) and Hannibal is a juggernaut. Sleepy Hollow picked up steam the more people realized we were recapping them, and I'm very happy for their dedicated followers. Just...I have such a crazy life and it's a lot to put into something that goes nowhere. I'm going to see Game of Thrones through this season, and won't make any decisions until after that, but basically I'm saying that I get that I'm not that interesting to read anymore.

(This is NOT a plea for you to tell me otherwise. This is navel gazing and acceptance. It's healthy!)

4. Speaking of healthy, I need lunch. I need a big ol' sandwich hot from the Panini maker. MMMM, GOAT CHEESE HERE I COME. :D

Still here!

I'm lurking more than posting, because...there's not much to say. I mean, I ALWAYS have something to say, but nothing that interests folks.

Random bullet points!
  • I am so in love with True Detective, I can't even. I haven't seen last night's episode, because of Walking Dead reasons, but that's on deck for later
  • enjoying this back half of Teen Wolf, and seriously cannot get over the gift that show has in its actors, because gee dee, are there some amazing performances coming out of it. Of an MTV show, for crying out loud. <3
  • I am working on the very last chapter of this monster of a fic I've been writing for months, now, and it'll feel so good to write The End. Soon, so, so soon.
  • I've become closer to some old acquaintances from high school over the past several months, and wow, am I ever glad that we don't judge each other by who we were at 16-18. KIDS: it really does change. People really do grow up. Not everyone, I won't lie to you, but when they do? You'll be surprised. (Point in fact: the husband of this particular couple was the It Guy, the "douchey popular" guy. Except inside, he wasn't that at all. And once he left school and figured himself out, he became this amazing person who I am so damn proud to call friend. How cool is that?)
  • I'm at a point in my life where it's almost physically painful to write into a vacuum, so you may not see too much of me around here. Not that I'm leaving, I just don't see myself posting daily like I once did. Seasons change, etc. etc.
  • But I am ALWAYS reading and commenting when applicable. <3
  • Time to make lobster mac-n-cheese again. <3

Lobster macaroni and cheese

YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. It's always time for that. Unless you just finished running a marathon and it's 115F outside. That's probably not when you want to eat this. BUT ALL OTHER TIMES = YES.

I played with Ina Garten's recipe because she is awesome and I want to sit in her lap and have her read me a bedtime story and feed me cookies. But let's get back to lobster and pasta.

Recipe for Lobster Mac-n-CheeseCollapse )

If you don't like the way I write recipes, well, that's because you like things "coherent" and "organized." Whatever.

Also, I'm...liking a LOT of Teen Wolf this season, even if there is stuff that is problematic. I mean, the showrunner is awful, but the show? Not shabby. (And I'm avoiding the LOADS of wank online like the plague.)


I had a really lovely message this morning and realized that I've not been posting here. Sorry! (I'm way more active on Tumblr. I mean, it's mostly images and jokes, but that's about what I have energy for. LISA: I WILL GET BACK TO YOU, PROMISE. <3)

No news with my son - still passing out (and wow, is it frightening to see a 6' 2" kid collapse in the middle of talking) but no one has any idea why, just that he does. Well, that's super helpful, okay! We're waiting for results from a neurologist. Anyway, life continues as it does.

The Mr. and I had our anniversary this past weekend, and I had the dinner of my life, which is saying something. I always enjoy whatever I have at Fearings, but this meal was exceptional. food talkCollapse )

I'm trying this thing where I'm more organized with my time so that I can devote the majority of my day when kids are in school/hubs at work I get writing done like it's a 9 - 5 job. And wow, it's working. Who knew?

HI GUYS. HI. I'm starting up with True Detective (looks amazing and my wheelhouse) and Looking, which, unf. That's, um, super hot and so far, so good.


It's been a while since I've done a poll.


ION, I have reached a sort of max-density when it comes to pictures of Tyler Hoechlin. I now feel a physical ache in my chest at the sight of him and have to scroll past. THERE IS TOO MUCH ATTRACTIVE/NICE BOY STUFF HAPPENING and it hurts me, guys. It hurts me.

No news is no news. Also, this happened.

1. Thank you so much for the kind words of support last week! Summation: no idea still. He was made to wear a heart monitor vest thing for 48 hours so they could track its rhythms in addition to having an ultrasound on his heart. And we have no idea. (He also passed out again, but fortunately was a) at home and b) wearing the vest so it caught it. Hopefully we'll hear something soon.)

2. I spent the weekend close to him (just in case) and blasted through the Little House on the Prairie series. Wow, is Ma awful and I truly believe Laura worked through some aggression by writing those stories. Also, I could go for some Cap Garland fic, hey-now.

3. While drunk-tweeting the Golden Globes last night, I got a text from Matt Paxton, saying he wanted to get mildly drunk with me some time (not in a freaky way) <-- His actual words, ahaha. We went back and forth joking, etc. when he said this:

"i never told you, i was at some event and someone mentioned you and I was like..i know, i follow her. it was in LA and very random.
but we both got crazy excited that we both thought you were such a great writer and we thought it was like our own secret

I may have made noises not unlike a porpoise sucking on helium. He is such a nice guy. And it's still crazy to me that the nice Guy from the Tee Vees reads my stuff and chats with me. Boosted my spirits quite a lot. <3

(And now I go back to writing, because this AoGG/TW story has legs of its own. And I want to finish it soon, ugh.)
#4 Not even sorry for that earworm. If it's NOT an earworm, here you go. So to continue the question session, the lovely mrmonkeybottoms asked me, "What is your favorite scene in the movie, Love, Actually?" *cracks knuckles*

The most wonderful scene, the one I make everyone either shut up so I can hear (or kick them out of the room so I can hear) is when Billy Mack goes back to his painfully straight manager, Joe, and admits that he's the love of his (Billy Mack's) life. "Christ, thirty minutes at Elton John's, and you're as gay as a maypole." Everything about Bill Nighy in this movie is perfection. His body language, his inflections... I love him so, so much.

(The default scene for me is when Emma Thompson realizes her husband gave the necklace to the bombshell and quietly loses it in her room as Joni Mitchell plays. I've been that woman, silently crying so as to not disrupt the evening, and it's a terrible feeling. I think many of us have been that woman in some capacity. She's an amazing actress.)


#5 The darling poisontaster asked me: "What's your writing process? And by that I mean both how you craft the actual story and HOW you like to write. Do you go to coffee shops and write long hand, do you do it at your pin-neat (or Oscar the Grouch messy) desk? Is there wine involved? Do you have a special The Writer is At Work glass or sweater or hat?"

This one is long, so it's going under a cut. *SNIP FOR POTENTIAL BORINGNESS!*Collapse )

And all of this talking through the process has me itching to get back into my Anne of Green Gables/Teen Wolf fic, which is now sitting at 39K and counting and tentatively titled "Kindred Spirits." And I seriously love it, so I should show it some attention. :)

Three questions left, and tomorrow is all about music. OH MAN, THIS ONE IS GOING TO BE GOOD. <3
Okay, that wasn't the actual question, but it fits the subject bar. :) (And hello! I am alive and mostly well, and getting things sorted now that the holiday has passed. WHEW.) From this post, originally.

redaly asked me: You always seem to have lots of projects on the go: the potential gardening show, stallioncrest, various bits of film work, HDJM. Where would you like each of them to go? Which of them would you most like to see come off in a big way? I actually had a very supportive and excellent conversation with my brother-in-law yesterday about some of these, lifting my spirits enough to want to talk about them.

Growing up my mother used to say, "Jack of all trades," and meant it as a compliment to herself, skipping the essential part of that saying: Master of none. That's how I've felt about myself most of my life: yeah, I can do some things, but I'm not amazing at any of them. You know when you see that amazing pianist, painter, diver, what-the-hell-ever and you're so blown away by their focus and talent? Le sigh and le longing. <-- not actual French.

While I would love to sell Stallioncrest and make a million people laugh (I actually have to re-shoot the whole thing because there were technical issues with the camera, we found out, and blah blah I just do), and I would love for HDJM to be Vulture, but you know, us, there are two projects I wish with everything in me would actually come to fruition: Oh My Heck being a quality read, good enough to publish, and for Mastering the Garden - or whatever name it evolves into - to be on a TV near you.

The gardening show... I know that subject, inside and out, backwards and forwards, and more importantly, I'm not some pompous ass who wants to impress you with what I know. I want YOU to know things. I want YOU to enjoy the process, to understand why things didn't work and get back on that horse. That's the joy for me. Plus, I'm kind of funny at times, and hey, a funny and informative show would be cool, says I. This is also the hardest project to get going, because it doesn't matter that I want it to happen - I need a crew. I need the scripts shot. I need a channel/network to buy it once that's done. So. *shrug* I'm not going to give up that idea, though. It's a keeper. :)

ION, my MiL did NOT serve carrot dimes* on Christmas Eve, so I'm counting it as a Christmas Miracle. I had a great holiday of cooking with my sister, laughing with my family, and having a great hair day. It's the little things. :)

(Thank you for all the emails and messages of love. They really meant a lot to me during a very hard time. But I will also say that I get overwhelmed feeling responsible for getting back to every one in a timely manner, and that's a daunting task. I WILL, but know that I appreciate the thought until you get official confirmation from me in your inbox. <3)

*Carrot Dimes = Satan's nipples. Frozen, cut carrot slices marinated in a can of tomato sauce with a diced red onion, heated through.

Tomorrow's questions include favorite scenes from Love, Actually and my writing process. OMG, STAY TUNED. (lol)


TW: depression/dark thoughts

I've started and deleted three of these posts, but I think I need to write this, if only to keep a record. In late 2008 I was diagnosed as being severely depressed and began taking medication. For those of you who have experienced this, you know what a miracle it can be to not only have a name for why you feel so horribly wrong, so very Not You, and then to have a chemical administered that puts you on the right foot, so to speak. I almost immediately dropped 40 pounds, I stopped hurting in my joints and muscles, I started being ME.

The pharmacy decided I didn't need the name brand (Welbutrin) any more and gave me the generic. A few hours after taking it, I very calmly planned on driving off a 130 ft bridge to my death until my kids piped up in the backseat of the car and I realized how fucking CRAZY that was. Yeah, don't take generic Welbutrin. I'm not the only person this has ever happened to. (Note: I have never been suicidal. Never. And I'm not now, either. Wow, I'm fun, lol.) My doctor tore the pharmacy a new hole and wrote in my chart: NAME BRAND, NO GENERIC.

Flash to 5 years later (now) when we finally decide to stop going through Canada Pharmacy to get my meds (I can get 90 pills for $240, instead of what Walgreens/CVS wants to charge me, which is $402 for 30.) and make my insurance pay for it, seeing as we pay an arm and a leg for BCBS's best plan and it should only cost me $40 for a 90 pill supply. YEAH, I'D LIKE THAT OPTION, PLEASE.

And they said no. Nope, you don't get to have that anymore, we don't care what the doctor has said. You'll take the generic or you'll take nothing, they said. I've been trying since before my California trip to get this resolved, which means I've run out of my medication for more than a week, now. And I can't think, I can't process normally, I hurt all over, and my doctor has been yelling at anyone he can to give me my drugs. (Yes, I can buy them out of pocket, at $40 a piece. JFC. But I shouldn't have to. Also, that requires effort to GET THEM that I don't even have at the moment. Stupid, maybe. But that's what it is.)

So I'm trying? I'm trying to reply to emails, to my responsibilities, but I can barely decorate my house for the holidays, barely focus when my kids are talking to me, barely keep it together and not burst into tears for no discernible reason other than my body chemistry is jacked to hell. But Canada, O! Canada has stepped up and are sending me meds at their reasonable price, but I have to wait until next week because time travel apparently still isn't a thing. (Thank you, thank you, Canada Pharmacy.) And the fight with my insurance continues.

All of this to say that if I'm not responding, not fulfilling some act that you need me to do, it's because I'm not doing ANYTHING. But I'm trying. And this won't be forever. <-- mostly that is for myself because I am tunneling in and having a hard time seeing things ever becoming different. It's in waves, at least. It's not an all-consuming tsunami of woe.



Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

October 2016
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