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In which I make up a meme

Well, I obviously should NOT be allowed to wax philosophic. Hot weather + waiting for kids to go AWAY + boredom = me talking out of my ass.

I was thinking about this on my walk this morning:
Jobs I've Never Had But I Think I Would Totally Kick Ass At

1) Advertising Slogan Maker-Upper.
2) Good Cop
3) Bad Cop (I'm very versatile)
4) Cruise Director On a Cool Ship, not one with Grandmas
5) OMG Writer on SNL!
6) Fluffer (okay, jobs that I've been PAID for)
7) Professional Party Girl
8) Professional Margarita Drinker (I would kick ASS at this)
9) Avoider
10) Numbered List Maker

Okay, so you can take this to your journal, or do it in the comments. Also, if you are not reading the comm celebs_on_crack (not to be confused with my comm, celeb_letters2u) you need to. It's the perfect break from the wank, angst, blah things going on. Someone is playing Dakota Fanning as an early Drew Barrymore, but angry, and it's hilarious.

Comments

( 29 comments — Leave a comment )
smashsc
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:44 am (UTC)
oooh, I can play this one
  1. Road tester outer
  2. Professional organizer
  3. Professional Alphabetizer
  4. Professional road-tripper
  5. Professional concert photographer
  6. Holiday tree decorator wait, I have had that job
  7. Print shop worker (had the job, never paid though)
kaydee23
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:56 am (UTC)
I'm a great avoider and a numbered list maker. I would to be David Boreanaz or Nick Brendon's fluffer. I wonder if they'll need one on their new shows????
kaydee23
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:56 am (UTC)
Oh, and I'm great at procrastinating, taking naps, and eating nachos. Also, I can swill wine with the best of 'em.
bitchygrrl
Aug. 3rd, 2005 10:00 am (UTC)
1) Pretty Boy Handler - they have animal handlers on movie sets, why not a pretty boy handler
2)Sarcastic Remark Maker- if only someone would pay me for it *sigh*
3)President- trust me I'd be a vast improvement
4)Professional Chocolate Taster
5)Writer for Smallville- I'd let the pretty boys have fun.
6) Film Critic - I just need to be paid for it
7) Professional Cheerer Upper
8) Professional Margarita Drinker's Assistant - there are a lot of 'ritas in the world.

bitchygrrl
Aug. 3rd, 2005 10:02 am (UTC)
oops forgot one
9) Professional Yeungling Drinker
hellziggy
Aug. 3rd, 2005 10:34 am (UTC)
minervacat does a weekly top five list, and last December one of them was Top 5 dream jobs:the jobs you would want if time, money, talent, skills were no option. The jobs you might never have or even logically, realistically want, but the ones you think "Damn, that could be a lot of fun" about. And do not let this depress you! It is not depressing! It's a fantasy world! Those are two different things entirely!

So I'm just cut & pasting my answers from that, becasue I'm lazy like that! :)
1. Philanthropist - I want to be filthy stinking rich so I never have to worry about money and still have enough to throw gobs & gobs of it at worthy causes.

2. National Geographic Photographer, or just plain Travel Photographer - There are so many places I want to go see (like pretty much everywhere in the world but Detroit and North Dakota) and I have no money for this and so someone should pay for me to go.

3. Google Search Guru - I'd love to get to just spend all my time googling for stuff and researching for people. If it's out there, I can usually find it with Google.

4. Zookeeper and/or Exotic Animal Trainer - This is what I was going for with my Zoology major in my first attempt at college. Damn you Chemistry & Calculus!

5. Professional Stalker - Of course I would stalk only the hottest stars: Ben Affleck, Patrick Stewart, Ben Browder, Spike & Angel, etc

Ooh, and another one I just thought of: Photoshop artist for the Weekly World News! They need a new Bat Boy!
winterlive
Aug. 3rd, 2005 11:43 am (UTC)
1. Stoney.
stoney321
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:28 pm (UTC)
Ah ha ha ha ha!!!

There's winter, bringing on the levity!
stoney321
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:28 pm (UTC)
Oh, and I'm not a JOB.

I'm a PROJECT.
winterlive
Aug. 4th, 2005 09:42 am (UTC)
DUDE. *works under your hood*
crayonbreakygal
Aug. 3rd, 2005 01:13 pm (UTC)
I guess my number one would be Avoider. No, wait. Already do that. And bad cop too. Already do that with the kiddies.

I'd love to be Alexis Denisof's Personal Assistant. Then I probably wouldn't get any work done because I'd be staring at him all day long.

Hey, Professional Apple Martini drinker. I know several people, including myself, who could totally do that job.
(Anonymous)
Aug. 3rd, 2005 01:34 pm (UTC)
Lj's gone weird on me and gives me an impossible-to-write-in format when i'm logged in.

You had ten? hard to keep up but:
Professional disorganiser
Professional sleeper
Professional anti-mathematician (2+4 = pink)
Professional obfuscater
Catalytic procastinator
Viral alarmer
Executive weed-grower
De-fluffer
Expert teller-off
The last two are connected.
One more - mmm - bog-standard tea-promoter. For bog standard tea, none of your earl grey rubbish.
Ooh, ooh! Anti-dietitian!
Cholesterol promoter

There's wank?
Bisi
stoney321
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:30 pm (UTC)
HEE HEEE!!!

This is a FANTASTIC list!! Good use of corporate jargon.
beadattitude
Aug. 3rd, 2005 04:07 pm (UTC)
Trust me, I've done the closest thing to a cruise director on land, and they're ALL grandmas. Except when they're hawt medical product reps.

I'D like to name paint and make-up colors, 'cause seriously, that would be too funny. You could have a whole line geared to sci-fi fans; Vulcan Vixen, Berry Betazed, um, Slayer Scarlet, Buffy Berry, Faith Fushia, Willow Wild, Tara Tearose, Spike n' Easy, Angel Lips, um......Padme' Plum, Amadala vie en Rose, Tatooine Tart....oh and the perfect neutral, Obi Wan With Everything.

See? Easy as PIE.

And I'd totally love to be a personal shopper, babe. And I'd love to be a stylist.
stoney321
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:30 pm (UTC)
Professional Happy Maker. There's a good job for you. You'd just show up.
lynnenne
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:31 pm (UTC)
Numbered list maker - bwah!

I wanna be an Advertising Slogan Maker-Upper. We could start an agency!
stoney321
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:31 pm (UTC)
YES. I want to make up slogans.

"Buy a triple topping heart-clogging pizza! You'll die happy!"
ex_dovil323
Aug. 3rd, 2005 08:33 pm (UTC)
I'm going to buy you a margarita, make you write out a shopping list with which you can then interogate me to see whether I remember everything and then reasure me that you're there for me and it would just be best if I talked, and then we can get so drunk that we think that we're on a ship.

But I just know that you'll avoid doing any of this. I just know it.
stoney321
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:32 pm (UTC)
AH HA HA A HA!!!! Oh, i LOVE you.

Make sure you buy a reflective vest for me, since I'm so wee you might lose me in a crowd. Heeee!!!
ex_dovil323
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:40 pm (UTC)
That photo was just taken last week, wasn't it? I'll buy an Anakin doll and then pop you up on the bar and preform a marriage ceremony. It'll be beautiful, though you may find the honeymoon a bit of a disapointment.

It's okay, I'm planning on sticking rollar skates on my knees so that we can see eye to eye and so I can get down the hills faster.

*runs around san francisco throwing cable cars at bridge and scaling buildings*
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:33 pm (UTC)
"The Show"

Reason #954,276 that I love you hard.

I AM GOING CRAZY!! Why am I still on the PC? At least I logged in under my name so I could see all of the flocked posts!
the_grapevine
Aug. 3rd, 2005 08:52 pm (UTC)
Hey, I stumbled across your journal while doing a search. Love your icon. And I have tos say from your list, I think I would like to be #7.
stoney321
Aug. 3rd, 2005 09:34 pm (UTC)
#7!! Best. Job. Possible.

Welcome aboard! I'm going to tickle your kitties chin for a bit... Beep! Black kitties are my fave.

I love random people coming over!
the_grapevine
Aug. 4th, 2005 10:44 am (UTC)
Thanks, I think I'll add you to my friends list if you don't mind.
stoney321
Aug. 4th, 2005 04:00 pm (UTC)
Never do! This is a come and go as you please LJ. Never fear saying something, or heading off to greener pastures, is my motto.

:-D
the_grapevine
Aug. 4th, 2005 06:06 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I have you added.
saifai
Aug. 4th, 2005 02:08 pm (UTC)
Just had to giggle at your list. Interesting job choices. Wouldn't it be cool if there really were a job as a Professional Margarita Drinker? And I'm so with you on the 9th job. Might have to compete with you for that one. I excel in that field.
stoney321
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:59 pm (UTC)
HEEE!! I'd compete with you for the job, but I have lots of other things to do. Like eat chips... read a fic... do laundry... But it's totally on my list. Like, at #4 or something.

I need to make iron ons for the crew saying we're Pro 'Rita Drinkers.
( 29 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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