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How about some more Gud Summryies?

Okay! Happy Monday. For any n00bs: If someone is just getting into fandom, and they are trolling for fic, your summary is how they decide to read you. That whole "judging a book by its cover" thing. The following are taken from various fanfiction websites. And we'll just say they aren't an inducement to read. Or... read for the wrong reasons. (there, so far, has been one exception.)

Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not condone pointing fingers at an author and calling names. We've all done this to our fics, we've all just gotten started and horribly, horribly abused flowery prose. Or misspelled words. Or were idiots. Ha! In the name of fairness, I've put a summary from one of my OWN fics in here! See? I wear big girl pants. Don't point and laugh at any person here. Unless it is yourself. Dude. I'm like zen with that. Awesome. OOH! And I may have caught a plagiarist!! rune_vampyre's FUNNY fic "F*ck you and your cat" was posted at ff.net without her knowledge (where I found the summary) and she didn't post there. And now? It's gone. I'm on to you stealers! Watch yer butt!

Part One
Part Two




  • Dawn thinks of storms

  • Oh come ON! If I told you, you wouldn't have to read it. Oh all right, I'll tell you this. It's time for Ophelia to deal with past. There. A summary.

  • Willow reflects on the 10 letter word.

  • this is my first fic. it's not supposed to make sense.

  • A crazy LSS fic that fits in nowhere and has no point. What do you want? It was in my backpack - probably somehting I wrote while waiting in line for *NSYNC tickets in March.

  • I demand one thing. Please be honest.

  • *really* badly written

  • Willow deals next.

  • Angel, after not seeing Buffy since that day, comes back to Sunnydale to save her from the brain powers of a powerful 12 year old boy.

  • It's not really as hard as it looks.

  • Listen up and take notes. There will be a test.

  • Character death, oh - and this is a sad one.

  • The reason why Buffy just can't

  • Xander gets un-hurt

  • thinking and morning

  • A knife. Minor slash. (me: heeeeeee!)

  • Read it and figure it out. PG13 for mild sexual innuendo. Nothing truely shown.

  • After writing this, I'm still trying to figure out if its funny or not. NO FLAMES.

  • This is angsty garbage *sigh, mope, pout, etcetera, %$@#ing hormones and whatall.....*

  • I'm really gonna finish it.

  • My intake on how and why.

  • Spectacularly AU (now if THAT doesn't end up on an icon...)

  • Sequal... Faith's kinda lossing it decides to bolt

  • Does it really need a summary?

  • Buffy meets a certain maniacal Penguin.

  • Set in 2020 (the year and the hindsight)

  • two young friends bond over a frog

  • Riley. Shovels. Death.

  • I don't have a plot for this story yet. (me: word count is at 2000.)

  • I've rewritten this thing 6 times! For the love of god, give me feedback!

  • Everyone commits suicide.

  • It's a sonfic.

  • OK worse than the first

  • [Buffy's] mistrust of Spike was wronger than ever

  • Just some toughts on exactly what it feels like to drink someone else's blood...

  • complete with a kick-ass epilogue

  • It involves Spike in a tutu.

  • Angelus gets so even with Riley. Contains torture. WARNING: humor

  • Buffy thinks about the live... and about her death.

  • Based on Pirates of the Carribbean, Elizabeth Summers is the govenor's daughter with blacksmith William Turner deeply in love with her. When Elizabeth is kidnapped by a band of pirates, William will go to any lengths to save her, even if that means teaming up with one of the most infamous pirates himself. (Uhhhhhhhh.... Doing a search/replace for names? I think that's still plagiarism.)

  • Buffy was a yound and promising Barrel Racer. Then she had an accident. Spike was a young and promising Bull rider. Then he met Buffy.

  • I killed Cordy. I killed the teen dream. Deal with it.

  • What happens when two blondes become best friends.

  • It's softmore year and so far everything is going great until the New Kid on the Block comes to town. WARNING: Other.

  • *NOW BIONIC!*

  • Buffy the Wedding Singer

  • Spike Blood and Buffy Summerpenny go....

  • William or "Spike" Giles falls head over heels with his classmate, Buffy Summers, who corresponds his love

  • Buffy and SPike are the leaders of two seperate gangs that hate each other. or do they? insults are swapped and old wounds are opened when the two gangs are forced together to get rid of the new gang trying to take over their school. but who is in the new gang? and what is the history between the leaders? WARNING: extreme language

  • Buffy Summers, a shy woman who trembles at the sight of men

  • William (Spike) van helsing is the son of the famous monster hunter giles van helsing, when his father gets injured he is sent to transelvania to kill the evil count angel vond vlad and his three brides but will he be able to concentrate if he meets the beautiful gypsy princes buffy?

  • Buffy and SPike shar intement times WARNING: VIOLENCE




Ah, that last one reminds me of the show... Memories.

And the following journals have made icons to go with these: mpoetess; yin_again this one, four posts back, _tayler, and glossing. Hurrah!

Comments

( 93 comments — Leave a comment )
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emma_daisy
Nov. 28th, 2005 06:38 am (UTC)
Seeing as I had Photoshop open already...
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

It's too beautiful a summary not to be iconised.
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:00 am (UTC)
Ahahaha!! Oh, that's fantastic!

*cracks up at your icon* You win the icon making prize. All of your are so gorgeous and/or funny.
Re: Seeing as I had Photoshop open already... - elisi - Nov. 29th, 2005 01:45 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Seeing as I had Photoshop open already... - elisi - Nov. 29th, 2005 10:14 am (UTC) - Expand
ladycat777
Nov. 28th, 2005 06:40 am (UTC)
I ... that ... wow. I didn't think anyone would make me feel good about my summaries. I kinda ... think I need to go weep for humanity now.
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:02 am (UTC)
See? This is all about looking deep inside yourself, laughing, and then getting better.

Or you know... laughing.
fitofpique
Nov. 28th, 2005 06:50 am (UTC)
I don't suppose you have a link for the Buffy/PotC crossover one, do you? It makes me wonder if somebody has plagiarized circe_tigana's brilliant crossover/parody fic.

Also?

thinking and morning

What is ... two things that are mutually exclusive?
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:01 am (UTC)
Well, I think it's supposed to be MOURNING.

Hang on.. I'll dig up that link! Oooooh. *eyes narrow with potential theivery THWARTMENT*
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ropo
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:11 am (UTC)
Buffy was a yound and promising Barrel Racer. Then she had an accident. Spike was a young and promising Bull rider. Then he met Buffy.

Oh yeah. I also enjoy "*really* badly written." I think I've read that one, actually. A lot.

http://pics.livejournal.com/ropo/pic/0006wr4x/ ... <-- an icon fer ye.
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:22 am (UTC)
Spike had promise, goddamn that Buffy.

Hee hee!!! Every fic should have Spike in a tutu.

I think I liked "Warning: other." That there's a head scratcher.

hellespont
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:31 am (UTC)
Willow reflects on the 10 letter word.

Lesbianism? Xenophobia? Tetrazzini? Weaverbird?

Buffy was a yound and promising Barrel Racer. Then she had an accident. Spike was a young and promising Bull rider. Then he met Buffy.

Oh, that Buffy. Always thwarting Spike's attempts to ride bucking, musky, powerfully muscled icons of male virility.

Buffy and SPike shar intement times WARNING: VIOLENCE

I read that as "Buffy and Spike share internet times". Was picturing them slapping each other and wrestling over the keyboard, fighting over what to put in their online swingers ad.
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:34 am (UTC)
Heeeee!!! And my lovely, lovely emma_daisy has made an icon for that last one!

Of COURSE Spike is a bull rider. He's very, very wee. Pfft. Goddamn you, Buffy!! *shakes fist, hollers out: Take a holt!*
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beadattitude
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:35 am (UTC)
Cured! I'm CURED!
Woke up with a crick in my neck, read these and was laughing my head off. Jeff asked me something, and I was shaking my head trying to draw breath....and my neck cracked!

All betters!

Now I have to decide WHICH icons to pilfer.
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:42 am (UTC)
HOORAY!!

SEE?!? What have I been saying all along about laughing and medicine? Hmm??
... - beadattitude - Nov. 28th, 2005 07:45 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Nov. 28th, 2005 07:58 am (UTC) - Expand
cherusha
Nov. 28th, 2005 08:19 am (UTC)
Based on Pirates of the Carribbean, Elizabeth Summers is the govenor's daughter with blacksmith William Turner deeply in love with her. When Elizabeth is kidnapped by a band of pirates, William will go to any lengths to save her, even if that means teaming up with one of the most infamous pirates himself.

Is Spike William? If Spike is William, I will cry! You won't like me when I cry.

Willow reflects on the 10 letter word.

Lesbianism? Hm, Witchcraft? Marsupials? The supenuse!!! 0.0 It's mind boogeling!!!

Angel, after not seeing Buffy since that day, comes back to Sunnydale to save her from the brain powers of a powerful 12 year old boy.

She's Draco Malfoy's undying sense of realism. (But no one cares!)
_willferrell
Nov. 28th, 2005 08:27 am (UTC)
*pets you* I'm not telling. It'll ruin your day. Isn't that awful? HOW ABOUT YOU LEAVE POTC ALONE, KTHX.

I am dawn's raging bile duct! I am that brainiac 12 year old boy!
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bisi
Nov. 28th, 2005 09:14 am (UTC)
William (Spike) van helsing is the son of the famous monster hunter giles van helsing, when his father gets injured he is sent to transelvania to kill the evil count angel vond vlad and his three brides but will he be able to concentrate if he meets the beautiful gypsy princes buffy?
Would that be a no?

10 letter word...so much choice, so few dictionaries.
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 09:26 am (UTC)
And princes. She's a transgendered conjoined twin.

DICTIONARY! There's the 10 letter word!

(oh! Your icon is awesome!)
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angstpuppy
Nov. 28th, 2005 09:42 am (UTC)
I found this one on AFF:

During a holiday in Madeira, a Portuguese Island in the Atlantic ocean, two families meet: their lives will change forever.SPANGEL ALLTHE WAY FemSlash

Umm...soooper sekrit sex change island?
O_o
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:00 am (UTC)
TRANSGENDERED AHOY!
chantal87
Nov. 28th, 2005 09:48 am (UTC)
I killed Cordy. I killed the teen dream. Deal with it.

I think I read this one. You know I'm a glutton for bad fic punishment.
I think I even had to bleach out my brain for that one.
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:01 am (UTC)
Heee!! Oh, you are the one that started me down the path of righteousness bad!fic, to be sure.
... - chantal87 - Nov. 28th, 2005 12:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
luvs_phoenix
Nov. 28th, 2005 09:56 am (UTC)
What's REALLY funny is that these are real. You didn't just pull them from your mind (which is scary enough).

Brahahah!
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:02 am (UTC)
MY MIND ISN'T SCARY!!! It's where puppies and kittens frolick with bunnies to distract themselves from miniaturized vampires jammed up tushies and seahorses love for ever!!

Oh.
crayonbreakygal
Nov. 28th, 2005 10:33 am (UTC)
I keep thinking one of my summaries is gonna show up.

Poor Xander and Riley get the harshest summaries. Do we need a contest? I surely wanna make Xander unhurt too.
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:03 am (UTC)
PAH. No way! Of course, if you DO write something liike: omg i wil cut0rz mys3lf if u don leav FB!! I may just have to.

(And man, I put myself in this list! Come on!)
gracielu
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:05 am (UTC)
This is just so wrong. It's like Dante's levels of Hell, only, y'know, with bad summaries instead of monsters and demons. Except there are monsters and demons, aren't there? And Willow dealing. What's that about? See? Now you've sent my mind tripping off into a morass of crazy, which is wronger than ever.
_willferrell
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:27 am (UTC)
HAHAHA!!! Deals next: a pack of cards? ...out justice? ...with OMG, I'm gay now? Willow is a tricksy one.

*cough* Stripper mix is up *cough* But I'm worried about your PC. *kicks things on your behalf*
... - gracielu - Nov. 28th, 2005 12:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
nicole_anell
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:07 am (UTC)
Xander gets un-hurt
The long-lost Toni Braxton song.

Riley. Shovels. Death.
Me. Head. Desk.

Everyone commits suicide.
The end.

Doing a search/replace for names? I think that's still plagiarism
And if you're using "Elizabeth" as another name for Buffy and "William Turner" as another name for Spike, isn't that super-plagiarism?

It's softmore year and so far everything is going great until the New Kid on the Block comes to town.
Please be about Joey McIntire, please be about Joey McIntire...
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:31 am (UTC)
super-plagiarism - HEEEE!!! Excellent eye.
I loooooved the short but sweet: "everyone commits suicide." I KNOW everyone loved Six Feet Under's ending, but I was laughing my ass off at all the crossed eyes and "glargh! I'm dead!" faces, and I imagine this fic to feature the characters dropping like flies with agony expressions, one, two, three - dead.

JOEY!! Oh oh OH Oh oh. Oh oh OH Oh. Oh oh OH oh oh... THE RIGHT STUFF! HUH! <-- is stabbed by Buffy
dedra
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:42 am (UTC)
I read this, and felt compelled to friend you--PLU (people like us) with the different sense of humor the rest of the world at large frowns upon, we must stick together in every way (well, maybe not every way, sometimes it makes others stare and wonder)...looking forward to seeing your posts on my fpage and LMAO!
stoney321
Nov. 28th, 2005 11:49 am (UTC)
Ahoy-hoy! [/Mr. Burns]

Welcome aboard - just so you know, if you change your mind, you just knock me off your flist without a second thought. Flists are reading lists, nothing personal taken!

Now. That out of the way... Feel free to plunder ye olde memories. There's quite a bit to tickle your fancy, if this is up your alley.
... - dedra - Nov. 28th, 2005 12:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
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( 93 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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