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For those keeping track, I am no longer looking like a manatee. I credit sleep, lots of tea, and quiet reflections on Gud Summryies in the Jossverse. Who wants a smile on their Monday? *doles out generously*

OBLIGATORY "I AM NOT A BULLY" COMMENT: I do not condone pointing fingers at an author and calling names. We've all done this to our fics, we've all just gotten started and horribly, horribly abused flowery prose. Or misspelled words. Or were idiots. Or weren't very familiar with how "words" grouped together form "sentences." But for those who pooh-pooh this, okay, you're right. LJ is SERIOUS BIDNESS. Fanfic is the most important thing in the world and will raise us all from being dumb monkeys with keyboards to enlightened beings of Truthitude. Can't we all get along have fun? Now, gimmie your lunch money or I'll give you a Red Belly. *smokes candy cigarettes*

Part One
Part Two
Part Three



[ETA for Clarity] The italics below are my commentary on the summaries, just in case you haven't been following along from the beginning.


  • It's a stupid story that's not even a story.

  • Anya writes a letter to Santa. It's really, like kinda sad. WARNING: humor (okay, this could actually be one I would like.)

  • Songfic - quite angsty and abstract

  • ~~Im depressed...I don't even know why I'm posting this~~

  • don't even ask where this is supposed to go

  • added on and flushed it out a little

  • Angel is painting the Drusilla...sort of metaphysical.

  • Heck I don't even remember writing this

  • It's different. No flames.

  • buffy and spike make a bet whos a better parent so now there testin there skills with a cryin anoying plastic baby doll and i think its gettin good

  • Song fic - Song by Tool. Post-Gift Spike kneels at the grace and has to be saved from himself. (It's the "song by Tool" that won me over.)

  • A touch of romance and a dab of poignancy

  • A girl appears in sunny dale out of no where. how does spike no her? but more importantly, what is it about her that can make both spike AND angle lay down their hatred...?

  • Spike does a bit of thinking. A bit AU.

  • Mostly light stuff with a bit of cathartic angst.

  • "Her enthusiasm for sandy cookies and nog has pleasantly rubbed off on him, and she picks the red and green jimmies from his chest, the little sugary bits sprinkled on his shirt like on a Lite Brite."

  • After Buffy dies, Spike goes to La and Sires Faith. Returning to Sunnydale, he finds Buffy is alive and makes her his Childe. Will eventually be R for innuendo.

  • WARNING: Dawn Fic.

  • Anger, loneliness, and December 26.

  • Spike loves the Slayer, Agle's back to claim her, Riley just adimmted to his love

  • A reporter from an occult-newspaper wants to interview Spike. He tells his tale leading to his relationship with Buffy. Has an unexpected ending. I hope. (A billion dollars if you can guess the title of this! Ahem.)

  • Buffy thinks about Giles over a cup of tea

  • Read peas.

  • Please review and tell me if Spike should die.

  • a slam poem about how Buffy feels when she's with Spike

  • Suspend disbelief please. (strangely enough, not connected to the prior summary)

  • The Dingoes go on tour with *NSYNC

  • Crossover with BtVS and Sweet Valley University. After Buffy's mom dies, Jessica comes to comfort Buffy in Sunnydale (Jess and Buffy are cousins) only to deicover that she is not norm. (I think there's a twist where this is a crossover/body-switch fic with "Cheers.")

  • A story: strictly dialogue. Strictly narrative. Then a combination of both.

  • The most bizzar love square in fanfiction along with nasties that'll make you scream. Who will gain redemption and who will be left out in the cold? Who, if anyone, deserves the right to father the massiah?

  • WARNING! Spike develops a conscionse and Xander is the one who makes him realize it. Will they regrett it?

  • Romantic but not insipid. Post-coital whatevers.

  • Set right after guarduation.

  • Buffy finds out Dawn is stealing and takes her anger out on Spike. Warning: happy ending.

  • I promise that if you read this you WILL (probably) have strong feelings. (maybe.)

  • Sorry I impled no one really read this.



Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to disinfect my hands so I can make sugar cookies with my daughter, Emily, now and forever referred to as my "post-coital whatever." Oh, fandom... Just when I think I'm shut of you, you go and do something that pulls me right back in. Bless you. May I offer anyone a sandy cookie and nog?

New icons have been made! Check out: shepenwepet and whichwitch666's journals.

(And I missed cityphonelines's birthday on Friday because I was woebegone and ILL!! Vinnie, I LOOOVE you! I hope you got to do something fun - I miss you, V.)

Comments

( 77 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 07:43 am (UTC)
LITE BRITE!! Oh, the joy of a bagless vacuum. Now I can fish out all the pieces that will inevitably end up there. (No, they don't! But don't hurt yourself. :-D )

Jimmies. Red and green jimmies. Couldn't be a candy I loathe more, except for black Dots. Fuuuuh I hate black licorice. Especially when it's pronounced: lick-or-issss)

*OMG writes slam poetry about my feelins, yo* [/white suburban agnst liek woah]
(Deleted comment)
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cherusha
Dec. 5th, 2005 07:43 am (UTC)
My Brombeeretorte mit gepeitschter Creme auf die Oberseite!* I so glad you are no longer having the demonic eye and bulbous shape. Okay I go bookmark the sumares for read later because I must now to class, woes. Then after the class I back to ravage you, yes? No disinfectantating this time!


*Any and all complaints can go straight to babelfish. Present party shall not be held responsible for possibly horrendous translation.
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 07:47 am (UTC)
Mein süßes Mädchen, wie ich Sie verpasst habe! Yes, yes with the ravaging. I mean... *coughs* How are you?

*pours through your latest post with all the goodies* (Is someone getting excited about an upcoming trip, perhaps? *stows away in your luggage*)
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bitchygrrl
Dec. 5th, 2005 07:56 am (UTC)
Lite Brites will never be the same for me now. *weeps* Oh and Warning:Dawn fic had be crackin' up for like 5 minutes . . . it just did okay. God I actually saw her in a good movie though so I shouldn't laugh . . . but I will.
*eats sandy cookie*
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:18 am (UTC)
I'm all about the hard core slam poetry Buffy's doing. Yo, she be postulating her floetry on the peeps and Gs of her town, farealz. Obviously, there was a deleted ep where B goes to Brooklyn and hangs in a coffee shop and gets her mind uplifted by Common.

*nods my head to tha beats*
fitofpique
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:10 am (UTC)
Buffy thinks about Giles over a cup of tea

Warning: Possible scaldings

Quick! Blow on it, blow on it!

The logistics of this boggle the mind! I didn't realize that Giles was so bendy! And I just hope that's not the good china!
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:16 am (UTC)
HAHAHA!! YES. Although, it could be a torture fic: she bends him over the cup, and the cup breaks and... things happen with the shards, I DON'T KNOW.

Or maybe steamy tea has "properties" not yet explored? Hmmm.
poshcat
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:19 am (UTC)
>>buffy and spike make a bet whos a better parent so now there testin there skills with a cryin anoying plastic baby doll and i think its gettin good

::rolls::

>>Read peas.

Aw, peas. ::cuddles them::

>>WARNING! Spike develops a conscionse and Xander is the one who makes him realize it.

That is the best spelling of conscience EVER.

>>Spike does a bit of thinking. A bit AU.

Hee! I can't actually argue with that one.

>>Who, if anyone, deserves the right to father the massiah?

Who indeed?!?!?!

My next fanfic will definitely be accompanied by an icon that says "It's different. No flames."

Thanks for these, as always!
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:40 am (UTC)
OMG, I will father your massiah. I will father it so hard. (And I'm pronouncing it: kahn-skee-ohn-see)
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melbournegirl
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:35 am (UTC)
LOL! ROFL! HTML!
what is it about her that can make both spike AND angle lay down their hatred...?

V.O. After laying down your hatred, you'll want to spike AND angle it. To do this use a clamp and an ice-pick, making sure to spike at an angle AWAY from your body.


WARNING! Spike develops a conscionse and Xander is the one who makes him realize it. Will they regrett it?

Don't worry, it turns out the conscionse was benign.


Spike loves the Slayer, Agle's back to claim her, Riley just adimmted to his love

Angel: "I claim this Slayer in the name of France!", plants flag into Buffy's chest.

Heck I don't even remember writing this - how many times have I slipped into a fugue state and woken up covered in author's notes.
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:42 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Slipped into a fgue state. Hee!!

(Psst: I think you mispeled that: its fug steat.)
sweptawaybayou
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:37 am (UTC)
omg.

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. So very, very wrong ...

Spike does a bit of thinking. A bit AU.


*laughs so hard I pass out*

And Dude!!!!11! It's SO true!
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:43 am (UTC)
That's a great one because... Not wrong. Heeee!
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ropo
Dec. 5th, 2005 08:38 am (UTC)
It's all so wroooong.
(Deleted comment)
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janedavitt
Dec. 5th, 2005 09:26 am (UTC)
I am laughing out loud and the cats are staring at me. Oh God. Too funny and I'm sure I've done some that would be right at home on here, so I feel as if I can mock without guilt.
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 09:31 am (UTC)
That's what makes it fun: we ALL have done this. I put one of mine in an earlier post, in fact.

My consciense is klere.
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 09:52 am (UTC)
HEEEE!!! And now, I change topics to inquire about your post-coital whatevers. Children well? :-D
(Deleted comment)
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zyrya
Dec. 5th, 2005 10:34 am (UTC)
YOU'RE HURTING ME!!!!!!!

By the third one I was wincing so badly that I read the rest with one eye. And that eye is suing you for pain and suffering.
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 10:36 am (UTC)
My red(pink)eye is going to rough your wimpy eye up behind the school after the lunch bell.
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hellziggy
Dec. 5th, 2005 10:49 am (UTC)
OK. Must stop reading at work because I will laugh too much.
But this one: A touch of romance and a dab of poignancy
I accidentally misread poignancy as pregnancy.
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 01:04 pm (UTC)
Dab o'pregnancy. "But I'm just a little bit pregnant!" Heee!
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fish_23
Dec. 5th, 2005 12:03 pm (UTC)
Bwahhaha! God, I love these, Bully McBullyson. I think you need to do a disclaimer all in bold in 20 points with neon flashing lights, but no, you're disclaimers all wishy washy, like a bullies disclaimer.

The Dingoes go on tour with *NSYNC

Everyone else stole my favourites so I'm putting up the Dingoes go road tripping and crazy with NSYNC.

(By the way I got your email and I love you and want to have your babies. With white wine and a hummus dip, but that's enough about my culinary picadilos. If you ever want me to hunt down livestock in my village and ship it over to you just let me know - I'll email you at home when I can get hold of my other email account which makes emails disappear when you open them)

Now I have to go back to my crappy job - thank you for the ray of light. :D
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 01:01 pm (UTC)
I am giver of light and life unless you are scrawny and easily controlled in which case I shall bully you and beat you up to hide my own insecurities and foilbles, and one day, at our reunion, we'll laugh at how you became very rich, but still a geek, and I became nothing but am still getting tail like Sheb McHuntasalot and his coon-tail re-sale shop.\

Also, I may be highly medicated. WHEEEEE!
entrenous88
Dec. 5th, 2005 12:27 pm (UTC)
Oh, these are always hilarious.

A touch of romance and a dab of poignancy
And a splash of Cream of Cum! <------a joke that never grows old for me
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 01:02 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEE! If only I wasn't so damn lazy and would log in to give you the icon you crave....

Be honest: when you see all of the "green bean casserole" ingredients grouped on the end-caps in the store, don't you kinda sorta look for the Cream of Cum? Kinda? Little bit?
mpoetess
Dec. 5th, 2005 01:25 pm (UTC)
Read peas.

*is slain*
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 02:07 pm (UTC)
It's like a new course in Divination.
crayonbreakygal
Dec. 5th, 2005 01:47 pm (UTC)
Warning: Dawn fic. 'Nuff said. I might even have a go at iconing that one if I didn't have to type one handed so much.

It must have been Spuffy Day at summurye centrel? And no, I can spel. Maybe everyone is typing one handed when they do these.
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 02:08 pm (UTC)
I think because they don't want a lot of smut (read: gay pr0n) at ff.net, there isn't much beyond the Spuffy of true love and woe. But then, I've only tapped 200 of 903, so...
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 02:29 pm (UTC)
But if they stop, I lose my fun. See? It's a WIN/WIN scenario.

*passes you a beer*
altyronsmaker
Dec. 5th, 2005 02:23 pm (UTC)
I'm just glad I've managed to avoid being on this list! lol

Poor, poor writers. *pets them anonymously*
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 02:31 pm (UTC)
OMG - liek do you wright summryies about how hopped up on lolipops u are? Because you'll end up here. :-D

We've ALLLLLL done this. But we - that is, the folks most likely reading this here - have improved, and that is the key.
julissak01
Dec. 5th, 2005 02:32 pm (UTC)
Anya writes a letter to Santa. It's really, like kinda sad. WARNING: humor (okay, this could actually be one I would like.)

OMGOMG.

*hugs whoever wrote that and gives them a lolly*
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 02:33 pm (UTC)
(The italics are my comments...)
ennuigrrl
Dec. 5th, 2005 03:07 pm (UTC)
You dumped me? :(
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 03:17 pm (UTC)
OMG, were we dating? Because my husband gets super pissed when I do that! :-D

(I trimmed my flist to be only my reading list - it's nothing personal. It's just LJ - nothing personal. And I hardly flock anything, so...)
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 03:18 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEEE!!! I love the Laurel and Hardy icon you have on your comment. Did you make that? Wunderbah, all of them!
nicole_anell
Dec. 5th, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC)
Spike does a bit of thinking. A bit AU.
BWAH! That's almost as great as "What if Xander knew something?" Almost.

Post-coital whatevers.
Okay, *that* needs to be an icon.
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 04:10 pm (UTC)
*pushes you to use your magical talents* That last one you mentioned was like finding the key to Godiva-Chocolate World. And it's All You Can Eat day.
lynnenne
Dec. 5th, 2005 05:06 pm (UTC)
Who, if anyone, deserves the right to father the massiah?

YAHWEH WILL NOT BE PLEASED.

Ah, LJ, how I've missed you!
god_yaweh_i_am
Dec. 5th, 2005 06:09 pm (UTC)
WHO CHANGED MY ONLY BEGOTTEN'S NAME?

THOU HAST BEEN MISSED, CHILD.
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lostakasha
Dec. 5th, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
added on and flushed it out a little
Gawd I do love Wacky Bathroom Renovation fic. Whoo!

WARNING: Dawn Fic.
Yep. That sums it up for me.

:::loves summrys hard::::
stoney321
Dec. 5th, 2005 06:10 pm (UTC)
HEEEE!! Flushed. Flushed it out a LITTLE. Which gives me the visual of someone standing over a toilet, holding a notebook in the water while it swirls and empties, but not letting go.

Just me?
chantal87
Dec. 5th, 2005 09:33 pm (UTC)
The most bizzar love square in fanfiction along with nasties that'll make you scream. Who will gain redemption and who will be left out in the cold? Who, if anyone, deserves the right to father the massiah?

BWAH!! Is this like a Christmas story? 'Cause you know there aren't near enough massiah baby daddy fic out there.
Now I have to read this story. You do realize this don't you?
stoney321
Dec. 6th, 2005 09:03 am (UTC)
Baby daddy fic. Who dat is? (My massiah's daddy.)

(Check around page 750 at ff.net)

Tchus!
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( 77 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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