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I am freeeeeeeeeeee!

And what do I do? Fart around on the computer. But I walked 5 miles today! With a stroller! Uphill! In the wind! I also just took a literal cat nap. I became a cat. No, I laid down for a quickie (not the fun kind) and ALL THE CATS jumped up and snuggled. Whee! But Hope has stinky breath so I left their kitty cabal and shamed their poor dental hygiene. They blinked at me a lot. They are ASSHOLES.

I AM FASCINATING. Hey! How about some polls?



I knew it. You are sooo predictable.

Poll #664637 In Which I Ask the Hard Questions:

I put my hand up on your hip. When I dip, you dip, we:

dip
15(40.5%)
slip
5(13.5%)
flip
7(18.9%)
have weasel/monkey love
10(27.0%)

It rubs the lotion on its:

skin
16(43.2%)
fin
7(18.9%)
Special Private Parts
6(16.2%)
Naughty No Nos
8(21.6%)

Or else it gets the:

hose again
16(44.4%)
bag of crap
2(5.6%)
shit beaten out of it
3(8.3%)
bag of weasels and monkeys making love. Passionate, tender love.
15(41.7%)

Can't touch it.

True
20(54.1%)
False
17(45.9%)

Scale of 1 to 10, 1 being a 1 and 10 being a 10, Stoney is how crazy?

Mean: 7.72 Median: 8 Std. Dev 2.41
1
2(5.6%)
2
0(0.0%)
3
1(2.8%)
4
0(0.0%)
5
2(5.6%)
6
3(8.3%)
7
7(19.4%)
8
5(13.9%)
9
4(11.1%)
10
12(33.3%)

Three words or less, this is how you describe me.

What? You thought I was joking about the three words? Okay, less than 20 this time.





I'm going to make pad Thai with spicy shrimp for lunch. And then make SHORTBREAD. And then finish my final bit of the Scottish ficathon Andrew thingamajigger.

Spam me with jokes! Links! Porn! I dun kair. TAKE MY POLL. Doo eet.

[ETA]: I are dum. The "three words or less" was made into three LETTERS or less. Scrabble call out! Make it count, people.

Tags:

Comments

( 62 comments — Leave a comment )
ropo
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:10 am (UTC)
Three LETTERS, not three words, ya big dork.
stoney321
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:11 am (UTC)
YEAH.

YEAH, I NOTICED. If you click on "view answers" you will see that I have chided myself. CHIDED.

Also: your icon makes me want to sing: Cuidado, es llamas!
... - ropo - Feb. 1st, 2006 11:13 am (UTC) - Expand
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going_not_gone
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:13 am (UTC)
Fortunately, your pervy mind is part of your charm. The other part of your charm is that you don't have my address.

So, for your amusement: Weasels who love porn, and the woman who loves them. Or something like that.
stoney321
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:21 am (UTC)
Oh, DON'T I??

No, you're right. BUT YOU HAVE MY HEART. That link is funneh.
going_not_gone
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:22 am (UTC)
Why, thank you!

I'm very, very grateful that your heart is the body part you chose to award me. (The competition for some of the others is probably fierce.)
... - stoney321 - Feb. 1st, 2006 11:26 am (UTC) - Expand
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ladycat777
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:23 am (UTC)
I wondered.

You r a dork, but I love that :)
stoney321
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:25 am (UTC)
See, it's on account of my semen? Wait... that's not it.

I saw the "max length" and wanted LJ to READ MY MIND and count words. Which is does not do, although it SHOULD.

HELLO! Is today a better day? You have entered the shortest month of the year and then Springtime!
entrenous88
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:32 am (UTC)
*sees question #2, is easily freaked out, flees*
stoney321
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:35 am (UTC)
NO!!!!!!!!!!!

*pulls you back* It just gets funnier from there! I mean, if we can't laugh at cannibalism, what CAN WE LAUGH AT, Jess??
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lettered
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:37 am (UTC)
mind boggling entertainment.

Does your pad Thai have tofu? I tried to make katsu don a while back and it wiggled.
stoney321
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:44 am (UTC)
Oh, no, it doesn't have tofu, mostly because I don't eat whale snot.

And it sounds like you made a common rookie mistake with that dish. Always remember: Hot Wok, Cold Baby.

That way, it SEARS the outside so it's crispy, then the INSIDE steams itself to perfection.

*kisses fingertips*
... - lettered - Feb. 1st, 2006 12:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Feb. 1st, 2006 12:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
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... - lettered - Feb. 1st, 2006 01:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
floweringjudas
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:47 am (UTC)
I think for punishment you should only be allowed three-letter words for the rest of the day. TRY IT. IT'S FUN.


...okay, not really.

PERFORMANCE REVIEW IN 13 MINUTES I FEEL LIKE ALICE. NO, WALLY. ...NO... Yeah, Wally.
stoney321
Feb. 1st, 2006 11:57 am (UTC)
Okay, FIRST THING you do in that review is ask if they press charges. THEN you can discuss the other things.

IT WILL BE FINE. There is a world of jobs (some maybe even closer to Someone Else.) YOU ARE THE MAN of womanhood AT YOUR JOB.

Also, I'm going to try the 3 ltr thn
... - floweringjudas - Feb. 1st, 2006 12:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
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hellziggy
Feb. 1st, 2006 12:10 pm (UTC)
Auuuuggggghhhh! I'm at work. I have no funny or porn!!!!
But you should listen to the Ricky Gervais podcast because he has funny and it's name is Carl.

Interesting fact I learned today: People who have had sex a few hours before public speaking are more relaxed.
I have speech class tonight. I should probably run home between work & school for a quicky. :)
stoney321
Feb. 1st, 2006 12:12 pm (UTC)
THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!!

*wonders if I can hire that service out....*
hellziggy
Feb. 1st, 2006 12:13 pm (UTC)
Stoney's Fabulous Speech Relaxifier Business!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Feb. 1st, 2006 12:54 pm (UTC)
IT IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE THINGS EVER, YES.

That episode with Jim Carrey and Will Ferrell is one of the best in SNL history.

SCAN ME!!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Feb. 1st, 2006 01:17 pm (UTC)
YAY WRITING!!! I am spamming. Also: this was your most favorite poll you took in my LJ today, isn't it? Dunlye.

And now "true and false" are neck and neck with the Hammer, PLEASE don't hurt 'em, and I'm confused.

I wish you weren't such a whore. Why don't you go back to whore island?
(Deleted comment)
crayonbreakygal
Feb. 1st, 2006 06:08 pm (UTC)
I failed. I couldn't type in three letters. Wahhhhh.

stoney321
Feb. 2nd, 2006 08:28 am (UTC)
I CANNOT EVEN LOOK AT YOU.

Because of your failure. (ha! the failure is ALL MINE.)
crayonbreakygal
Feb. 2nd, 2006 09:36 am (UTC)
**snort**

**hides face and runs away**

It really was a great survey.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Feb. 2nd, 2006 08:29 am (UTC)
I am free today , too!!! Until 3:30!

I am BESIDE MYSELF. Like, running around flapping my arms unsure of how to proceed!
( 62 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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