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Fic Repost - some PWP, Fred/Faith

Okay, this may just be an exercise in futility. But. I did say that I was serious about improving as a writer, and yeah, this is just porn. And yeah I wrote this a year ago. And yeah I'm feeling seriously beaten down and thick and dumb about anything and everything I produce, so... let's see if this old dog can't learn a few new tricks. Can I sell myself or WHAT??!

And here's the concrit I got - all valid. An aside: um, I FINALLY figured out what I'm doing with the POV thing. Yeah, I seriously need this level of pointing out. I'm using "feeling words" for each person. OOOoooooh. That's what- Ah. (Now if I can only figure out what to do about the "speech, action, speech" thing I apparently do... Argh!) ON TO THE GIRL SEX.

Untitled Doctor Kink Girl-Slash!!
Spoilers: Season 5 (mid-way) of Angel, slightly AU, I prefer to call it hopeful.
Characters: Fred/Faith
Rating: R-ish - is PWP!
Concept: Faith drops in on her old Watcher, and Fred thinks Faith should be looked over in the lab - Willow's spell could have adverse effects, you know - and it's after hours. In the labs of Wolfram and Hart.


~~~~

Faith walks out of the changing area holding the paper modesty gown in her hand. "Yeah, I don't think I'll need that. I don't mind the chill. Besides. It's just us right? No Evil Lab Rats running around with cameras?"

Fred adjusts her glasses on her nose and presses her clipboard more tightly to her chest. "Um, yeah. Well, I mean - no, just you and me. But, um, are you sure you don't need to cover up? There's a sheet on the examination table, if you want to cover up...?"

Faith pulls her tank off, shaking her hair loose over her back. She isn't wearing a bra. She pulls the buttons undone on her jeans with one sharp jerk, and peels them off. "You do know I was in jail, right? Don't have anything to hide. You think I need to cover up? Something wrong with me, Erkel?"

"N-n-no! You look just fine. I mean, the boob fairy ain't coming to see me at this point, but you-," Fred takes a big breath and forces a smile to her face, "that'll be fine. Hop up on the table at the edge, please."

Faith jumps up on the edge, legs swinging, weight back on her hands behind her torso. She is chewing gum and blowing bubbles. "So what, buttercup? Gonna test my reflexes?"

Fred nervously jumps, takes a few deep breaths until she is visibly calmer, and sets her clipboard down. "Listen here. I'm playing doctor, I mean... I'm running this exam, so I need you to just hush. When I want you to do something, I'll ask... I'll tell you. Alright?"

Faith smirks at Fred's back, "Look at the wallflower! Okay, then. I'll be good."

Fred uncovers a tray of instruments on her shiny metal cart. Faith tries to peer over her shoulder to see. Fred turns to face Faith with a small silver wheel.

"Stick out your left foot, please."

After running the wheel over both of Faith's feet and getting the correct response, Fred begins to relax at her task. "You have nice feet."

Faith grins. "Girl can't be all work, you know."

"I... I need to check your left leg, please." Faith sticks out her leg and Fred runs the wheel along the inside of her knee towards her groin. Faith giggles and pulls back. "Cut it out!"

Fred giggles back, "I'm awful ticklish there, too. Sorry. That's the only time I need to do that."

"What about my right leg?" Faith is now leaning back, her other leg out and toes pointed. "What if I'm not ticklish there?"

Fred puts the wheel back on her tray with shaking hands. "I told you that when I needed you to do something, I'd tell you. I want you to lay back, scoot your hiney all the way to the edge, and put your feet in the stirrups."

"Sheeyah. You didn't even buy me a beer yet."

"Faith. Scoot down to the edge, and -" Fred pulls out the examination stirrups from the edge of the table and locks them in place, "stick them in here."

Faith shuts her mouth, licking her lips first, then does as she's told. Fred gives her a beaming smile.

"Um, this is going to be kinda cold."

"Doesn't have to be."

"Wh-what?"

"You could blow on it. Make it warm."

"Um, that isn't even close to being sanitary."

Faith rolls her eyes and turns her head to the side, "whatever."

Faith looks up to see Fred blowing her hot breath on the speculum, eyes on Faith's face. "I guess you have slayer healing powers, in case, right?"

Faith starts to grin, then stops as Fred slips her fingers between her legs, then replaces her fingers with the speculum.

"I need you to relax. This will only take a second."

Faith slides her hand across her lower belly. "I bet you say that to all the girls. Shame."

Faith sucks in her breath when as the speculum begins to slide in and out slowly. She looks down and sees Fred looking intently at her. "You weren't relaxing."

"Open that a bit wider and you'll see some hard core relaxing, promise." As Faith begins to close her eyes, her hand moves lower from her belly to tug at the curls above her clitoris. When her hand is lifted away and placed back on her belly, she opens her eyes.

"Faith, I told you to relax. That means I don't want you to move."

Faith lays back on the inclined table, hands clasped to her sides at first, then relaxes them as she takes deep breaths in time with Fred's movements. "Definitely NOT cold any longer...uh- " The shiny instrument slides in and out, small little figure eights as is slips in, strokes, and slides out. Fred uses her first two fingers to rub up and down the skin just above the speculum and Faith opens her eyes wide.

"Any burning? Any discomfort?"

"Fuck, no."

Fred stops stroking her to mark on her clipboard, never stopping the motion of the speculum. "Good. Keep your feet in the stirrups, please."

Fred finally pulls the instrument out then moves around from the edge of the table to the side. She places her hands on Faith's breast closest to her. "Do you examine yourself regularly?"

"All the fucking time."

"Faith. Do you do a proper breast exam? With as full and round as yours are, you should check them often. And thoroughly."

"Say I don't know how. Why don't you walk me through it, Doc."

Fred leans forward slightly. A few wisps escape her clip and the long, brown hair gently brushes against Faith's taut stomach. "You need to make firm, circular motions, starting from the outside. I like to start at the underside, and rub firmly upward between the breasts, brushing the nipple with my thumb. You make circles with your hands, reaching the apex, and give a gentle squeeze."

Faith moans as Fred rolls the nipple in her fingers, then brushes lightly over the hard bud with her thumb.

Fred continues, "of course, you should definitely make several passes. Wouldn't want to miss anything. Not like me. I'm over and done with in a minute." Fred smiles, then goes back to her task.

"You know what they say, Fred? More than a mouthful is wasted."

Fred turns her head and looks at Faith. "Is that right?" Without breaking eye contact, Fred leans over and takes Faith's nipple into her mouth. She circles it with her tongue, gently rubs it with her teeth and then sucks hard. She begins to pull away when she feels Faith's hand on the back of her head, fingers deftly pulling the clip out. Her long, wavy hair falls over her face and hides her mouth from Faith's view.

Faith brushes her hair out of the way, lacing her fingers through the soft strands, holding Fred's head to her body. Faith arches slightly, pushing her body against full red lips. Fred begins to squeeze Faith's breast, increasing the pressure from her mouth. Finally, she pulls away with a pop and leans over to perform the same task to Faith's other breast.

Faith moans and rubs her knees together. She strokes Fred's hair, now draped over her abandoned breast. Fred shifts; the cool, hard buttons from Fred's lab coat are brushing against the dark skin of Faith's areola. Fred moans around her breast, sets her pencil on the clipboard and tentatively holds Faith's upper arm.

Faith drops her head back, mutters, "fuck," and reaches back to run her hand up the back of Fred's thigh under her lab coat. Fred immediately stops what she had been doing and stands up straight.

"Faith, I told you to be still until I said otherwise."

Faith grins and stretches her arms over her head. "Whatever you say, Boss."

"Now, have you had any of the following symptoms? Racing heart?"

Breathlessly, with a short laugh, "Yeah."

"Vaginal dryness?"

"Uh, you were just down there. Didn't you check?"

Fred grabs a rubber glove from the tray and snaps it on to her right hand. "Let's see."

Fred moves back to the edge of the table, swings a small stool in between Faith's legs, and sits down. She slides one finger from the inside of Faith's knee to her groin, where she begins to softly rub Faith's opening. "It appears that you have something happening, but I can't be sure."

Fred uses two fingers to softly penetrate Faith; her thumb is above, rubbing. "Any discomfort when I do that?"

"Yeah."

Fred looks up suddenly. "Yeah?"

"The discomfort comes from the lack, if you know what I mean."

Fred stands up quickly, rips the glove from her hand, and leans closer to Faith. "I need you to take this, " Fred rubs at Faith's folds with her knuckles, pinching slightly, "seriously."

Faith sits up a bit, rests her weight on her elbows, her head rolls forward. She replies breathily, "oh... fuck. Oh, I'm taking this seriously. Are you?" She looks up, eyes half-lidded with pleasure, mouth slightly open.

Fred rubs her with the palm of her hand, fingers teasing her opening. Fred sinks back onto the examination stool and leans forward. Softly, she blows on Faith's exposed moist skin, causing visible shivers to run over her belly. Fred can see her body trembling.

"Have to be sure of one more thing."

Fred inserts three fingers, finding the small bundle of nerves deep inside. As she begins to stroke them, she runs her tongue along the outside of Faith's opening. She traces small circles along the edge, her fingers never stopping. When she reaches Faith's clitoris, she closes her mouth around it and begins to suck, rubbing the tender spot with the flat of her tongue.

Faith's legs are clattering in the stirrups, her breathing coming in short, hard gasps.

"Goddamn. Don't you fucking stop."

Her legs come together to hold Fred in her current position, thighs trembling from the effort to not squeeze too tightly. Fred teases her with the tip of her tongue as her fingers slide out. As Faith catches her breath, her body relaxing back onto the table, Fred takes a cloth from her tray and meticulously cleans the girl. Fred pushes Faith's knees together and runs her hands up and down her calves.

"Everything seems to check out. I can see you still have control over your strength, good thing for me. You appear to be in excellent health." With a smile and a nod, Fred turns back to her clipboard.

Faith has her arm over her eyes and is breathing deep. "Damn, girl. You sure you haven't been to the Big House? You have mad skills."

Fred giggles. "So," A nervous cough. "You can get dressed. Unless there was anything else you needed, Wes?"

Faith sits up quickly and sees me sitting in the semi-shadow of the room. I uncross my legs, stand and cross to the girls, hands clasped behind my back.

"No, I believe that will do, Winifred. Most illuminating. Faith, I trust that you can see your way out?"

Fred makes to wheel her cart to the side of the room when she pauses, smiles at Faith, and speaks. "Nothing against you. I mean... Have you seen you? But you shouldn't have tied him to a chair and done all that stuff to him. And, um, if you're in town again, you can call me, if you like."

Faith won't look at me. Funny, she seemed to enjoy having me bound and performing... acts upon my person for her own gratification. I take the clipboard from Fred's hand, wipe at the corner of her mouth with my thumb, cup her cheek to make her smile for me, and with my hand on her lower back, lead her out of the lab to allow Faith whatever bit of dignity she has left to dress and find her way home.


*********
and next time I'll pick one of the participants for the POV, because I don't want all the NAMES in the fic.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
menomegirl
Mar. 2nd, 2006 08:37 am (UTC)
*snorts* Was not ecpecting the end. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stoney321
Mar. 2nd, 2006 09:12 am (UTC)
Oh, well - crud. Wasn't going for funny there - poop.

At least I got the surprise right... thanks. =P
elucidate_this
Mar. 2nd, 2006 09:42 am (UTC)
This is an EXCELLENT Faith voice. And the end was a total surprise and it displayed my favorite kind of Wes. dark and fucked up and delicious. well done my dear.
stoney321
Mar. 2nd, 2006 09:46 am (UTC)
*headdesk* Thanks. Okay, can I just say that I juuuust looked at my "personal calendar" and I'll quit being whiney and weird in about three days. :D

Ignore me! (thanks, tootsie. I appreciate it.)
dodyskin
Mar. 2nd, 2006 03:39 pm (UTC)
She means the dialogue! Don't fret!

::ruffles your hair::

You did good.
stoney321
Mar. 2nd, 2006 03:50 pm (UTC)
*is really, really grateful to the Anonymous Person with the excellent concrit* :D

Dude. I need chocolate, something salty, and a coke, STAT. And then all this pissing and moaning I'm doing will cease. Heh.

tenks. *pops a Jaffa cake in your mouth*
paynbow
Mar. 2nd, 2006 11:22 am (UTC)
Holy shit, that ending! DAYum. Part of me is itching to know what Faith is thinking, but I love so much that it was Wes watching the whole thing. Awesome!
stoney321
Mar. 2nd, 2006 11:29 am (UTC)
In the original, I kept flip flopping from Faith to Fred - and realized (after the last note from Anonymous) that it could have more of a punch if the "omniscient narrator" is actually Wes in the shadows.

Thanks, cookie.
pez
Mar. 2nd, 2006 03:23 pm (UTC)
Wow!! I so didn't expect that ending. ;) heh. And there really isn't enough Fred/Faith fic out there.
stoney321
Mar. 2nd, 2006 03:35 pm (UTC)
RAWR to the icon.

I'm a believer in more everything involving Faith. :D (Thanks for coming over, by the way!)
queen_mecha
Mar. 2nd, 2006 07:27 pm (UTC)
That ending nearly killed me. Great fic! Mmmm there needs to be more Fraith in the world.
stoney321
Mar. 2nd, 2006 07:53 pm (UTC)
GUH to your icon, shoooey! I'm a big believer in more Faith however I can get her. :D

Thanks for readin' and feedin'! Much appreciated.
lettered
Mar. 2nd, 2006 10:11 pm (UTC)
Loved this fic, especially the end. It's really dark and fucked up and so sinister for Wes and sad for Faith, both of which I love.

You picked a really interesting way to address the POV problem, and I applaud your ingenuity. I also like some of the sensual details you added; this version feels much more intimate than the old one.

As I said before, I'm always free to beta or chat about stuff, so if you want to talk more about POV or anything at all, I'm around.
stoney321
Mar. 3rd, 2006 05:32 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm glad you noticed the things I added, too, thanks. I was JUST talking to Sue yesterday about how I need someone to literally point out mistakes and show me. I'm very visual.

Example: you and Dod- ahem- Anonymous, pointed out that I mess up POV, but I couldn't pinpoint the WORDS where I was. Because it's all tangled up in my head like a movie, you see. And then it hit me: I just said X felt so and so, then said y (_another word that is intuitive_). Derp. Seriously. After all these years, THAT'S what I'm screwing up on.

So now, the big thing I'm wanting to tackle is another point I've gotten from my current beta (who is just crippling my fic and slapping it on the hiney to get home - excellent) is that I overuse "Subject, action, subject." It would be helpful for someone to pull an example, then SHOW ME AN ALTERNATIVE. That way, my visual brain sees it, makes the proper calculations, then focuses.

If you felt up to it at some point, well... That would just be neat. But don't break your neck or anything. (And you can email me and save yourself the LJ log in - just email my username at livejournal.com.)
romanyg
Mar. 10th, 2006 10:27 am (UTC)
Oooh, this was nice and very twisted at the end. Thank you!
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2006 10:32 am (UTC)
Yay! Glad you liked it, and thank you for telling me!
tinpanalley
Mar. 30th, 2006 07:55 am (UTC)

Wow...that was hot! Quite an interesting pairing and the ending was a stroke of genius!
stoney321
Mar. 30th, 2006 12:18 pm (UTC)
Oh, good it worked, then! Thanks for reading and telling me your thoughts. :D
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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