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I am so COMPLETELY QUALIFIED to explain this to the world at large. (format awkwardly gacked from the hilarious sarahtales and her HP summaries)



Jossverse Fandom and Kerfuffles in a Nutshell (Because if we can't laugh at ourselves, we should laugh at others.)

DAWN OF TIME: Glorious soundtrack! Leaping animals! Pristine!
GOD: I am well pleased.
SATAN: Oh, snap! No you di'int! *creates evil*
GOD: Frowns. Hmmm. *creates man in His own image*
JOSS: Please disregard Aliens 4, kthnx.

FANDOM: Twinkles in his eye.
JOSS: Blondes fight back! Hot guys with ambiguous sexuality! NERDS! *WHAMMO CREATES!*
FANDOM: Sighs with satisfaction.
SATAN: I said oh, SNAP! *changes name*
MARTI: That's better. I'll just store these horns for later use.

AL GORE: I'll call it "enter the web"
NERDS OF EARTH: INTERnet!
BIGGER, OILIER NERDS: INTARwebnet!
OTHER NERDS: Snicker!
DND FANS: Rolls dice, ignores.

JOSS: Hot blonde, dudes, weight of the world, SEX.
FANDOM: Hyperventilates!
JOSS: *whispers* Ambiguous gay love.
FANDOM: Hurrah!
JOSS: Be free! Write! Fly my pretties!
MARTI: There isn't enough female beat down... *punches up scripts*
JOSS: Oooh, shiny! *Fireflys*
MARTI: Cackles!

ARTHUR C CLARKE: Monolith!
BRAD FITZ: No, no, is taken. Too 1960s. LJ!
FANDOM: ZOOMS!

FANDOM: Shipper wars, yo!
FACTION: BUFFY ANGEL!
FACTION: WHATEV. Buffy SPIKE.
LARGER FACTION: SPIKE AND ANYONE!
JOSS: Spoor!
JM: Complies. Also: naked.
FANDOM: Dude.

FACTION: BUFFY FAITH!
FACTION: No Adults with kids!
SMALLER FACTION: Anyone, anytime, with anything. Wasn't there a chicken that was lonely in an ep?
FANDOM: The fuck?
SMALLEST FACTION OF ALL: Spike/Bear from S4!
FANDOM: Undo it! Undo it!
WILLOW: I am GAY NOW.
WORLD: We heard you the last eighty times you reminded us.
MOST: Who the fuck is Devon? And why should I care?

FACTION: Spike is good now!
FACTION: Angel's been good, yo!
FACTION: Spike is a rapist!
FACTION: Angel's a pedophile!
FACTION: Uh... Spike is also over a century, so...
SMALLER FACTION OF ZEALOTS: JM has one ring to rule them all!
FRODO: Gasp! Passes out!
JM: Sticks tongue behind teeth, passes out panty liners, UH!
DAVID B: Jesus. This guy? *wears cammo pants for EVER*

SAD TEEN: Zomg like red my fic plz!!!0wordnumberkewl!1
GOTH TEEN: Zomg, Dawn cutz0rs!
GOTH TEEN2: No, zomg. Konner cut0rz!
GOTH TEEN3: No dude, I cutz, I'm dead, woe.
LJ: Dude, I knew her.
FLIST: WHATEV. *joules*
LJ: Busted!
GOTH TEEN3: Zomg, am not dead, cruel bitch0rz stole mah LJ!
LJ: o_0

BNF: I do more! I give more!
LJ: Agreed!
BNF: Conch shell is in my hand and is aloft!
n00b: What is BNF?
LJ: Eyerolls.
BNF: Behold, the conch shell of control!
PIGGIE: But all of us have a voice!
LJ: Growl! Flist is tight, yo! Hear the BNF!
PIGGIE: Glasses crushed, am dead.
SMALL FLIST: Plots and bides their time.

SHIPPERS: Unite!
SLASHERS: Further divide!
FEMME SLASHERS: Smallest division of all!
SNYDER/CLEM LOVERS: Hey!
FEMME SLASHERS: Concede. Also: askance.
SNYDER/CLEM LOVERS: Hey! *head down in shame*

FANDOM: Oh, yeah! Shows!
JOSS: Huh? Still with the shiny space cowboys...
MARTI: *rubs hands* Season 6 and 7! Also, Angel Season 4 and 5 as my evil grows and spreads to others!
FANDOM: Did anyone get the license of that truck?
LJ: To the fic mobile!

GOD: What about the eighth day?
WORLD: Huh?
GOD: ...
WORLD: Seven, you mean.
GOD: On the eighth day I created fandom_wank to record how foolish man is. I *so* didn't screw up the platypus.
AUSTRALIA: Ha!
WORLD: Admit your mistake with the mosquito and we'll call it even.
GOD: Kewl.

FANDOM: Been busy! Drawing LINES in SAND!
LJ: ph34r my flist!
LJ: fear MY flist!
TINY BUT ERUDITE FACTION: A drabble is 100 words! ONLY!
LJ: Rawr!
TEEN WITH BROADBAND: Zomg im hear fore phun.
ADULTS WITH DICTIONARY: Groan.

n00b: What's an LJ cut? *MEMES!*
LJ: leaptacklepounce!
n00b: Limps, yo! Also, cuts, GOD.
GOD: Sigh. Save it for the important things, 'kay?

OBSESSED FAN: Zomg, my love goes beyond the show! More than your love!
LJ: Yawns.
OBSESSED FAN: I will touch his ball sweat and put it in a crystal vase! You'll see!
LJ: Wakes the fuck up, HUH?
JM: Uh.... *drinks Red Bull* I smoke veggie cigarettes and have a band.
OBSESSED FAN: I'm 16 and hot.
JM: *beams* Room 451.

ANTI-RPSer: RPS is evil. *prays*
LJ: Huh? *points to scroll button*
ANTI-RPSer: If it was about you, you'd be grossed out! JUST SAY NO. RPS kills.
LJ: Anonymous Hump/Lick meme! ACTIVATE!
FANDOM: Form of... Humper! Form of... lube!
VIRGIN: Shampoo works! Or motor oil!
PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SEX: Crosses fucking LEGS, OW.
FACTION: ZOMG Othering and other 50 cent words to be created as needed! You're all racist/marginalizing if you don't write Gunn/other race/femme slash!
FANDOM: Askance and discuss! Also: does not solve all the worlds problems through online blogging, HORRORS!

ROBIN HOBBS: Fanfic is whack.
FANDOM: o_0
ROBIN HOBBS: You all beat off!
FANDOM: Snickers!
LJ: Masturbation Ficathon, Ahoy!
FANDOM: Rejoice!
TEEN WITH BROADBAND: Masterbashun is kewl.
ERUDITE ADULTS: www.dictionary.com, GOD.
GOD: Me?
ERUDITE ADULTS: Sorry, no.
GOD: *plays with dolls*

WRITER 1: Zomg I love U all. Some more than others. *IMs*
WRITER 2: Ditto.
WRITER 3: Frist!
LJ: Fics, vids, icons.

GANG OF 3: Divide!
WRITER 1: Whatev.
WRITER 2/3: Stronger. Distant.
LJ: Carries on.

FANDOM: Plagiarist! *checks spelling* Plagiarist! *with confidence*
LJ: pouncetacklestomp!
WRITER: blue popsicle!
LJ: Huh?
WRITER: Blue. Popsicle.
LJ: ...huh?!? *with conviction*
WRITER: You'll see. You'll all see! *flocks*

STONEY: Zomg, cream of cum!
LJ: Ha!
STONEY: Zomg, meat curtains!
LJ: Oh dear god.
STONEY: Haha, snapping pissed off alligator pussy!
LJ: Can't look away from the train wreck! Also - ha!
>:(: Yure meen.
STONEY: Huh? Zomg, Wee!Spike! Also: weeping cocks!
>:(: Meen girl!!
STONEY: Oblivious. Also, RPS- yes? No? Be gud writerz, too!
>:( attackstompthickheaded!
STONEY: Laughs!
>:#(: Circle argument! Nazis! Cancer! Snuff films! PAY THE RENT!
STONEY: Buzzuh?
SWMBO: I'll pay the rent! Also: Patient smack down with a vengeance!

LJ: Who the fuck is Stoney?
STONEY: Woe.
GOTH TEEN: Cut0rz? Across the street and down the highway, yo. Clove cigarette?
STONEY: Uh... I'm good.

FANDOM: Bored now.
FACTION: Hed iz pastede on yay! *manips* also: *minapes*
MOST: Uhhhh...
FACTION: thwackthwackthwackthwack
MOST: Ewwww! LJ Cut!
FACTION: RAGE!!
MOST: Whatev.
FACTION: Turns out the lights and carries on. Rolled down socks are HOT.

FANDOM: Help! I'm dying!
LJ: Flist trim like, whoa. Also: Woe.
FANDOM: Cough! Weak...
LJ: Liar. Flist. TRIM.
FANDOM: Haha, totally fine.
LJ: It's not you, it's me.
FANDOM: Yeah, you can be a bitch.
LJ: GASP! I lied! It's not me, it's YOU.
FANDOM: Crossovers? Ficathons?
LJ: Sighs. Okay.
FANDOM: n00bs! Train them.
LJ: o_0 - My flist is TIGHT, yo!

WRITER: Dude, flame? 'Splain.
LJ: ERUPTS!
FANDOM: Huh?
FACTION: Elbows! Also, NOT fandom!
FANDOM: Huh?
FACTION: Links like a summbitch!
FANDOM: tl;dr
n00b: Huh?
ERUDITE ADULT: For chrissakes, it's called GOOGLE.
FACTION: Hemhem.
FANDOM: That's HP, yo.

FACTION: Old wound! Dig!
FACTION: Scrape! Pokes at it!
INSTIGATOR: Alleged!
FACTION: I said... Links like a SUMMBITCH!
LJ: O Rly?
WORLD: ENOUGH.
OWLS: Srlsy.
WORLD: We mean it, now.
INSTIGATOR: Slinks off.
FANDOM: Huh?
FACTION: Not. Fandom.

LJ: Asplodes!
ORIGINAL PARTIES: Quiet.
LJ: Huh?
ORIGINAL PARTIES: Not. Fandom, GOD.
GOD: No, I'm staying out of this one.
WORLD: What else is new?
GEORGE W. BUSH: Oh, come on!
GOD: So didn't tell you jack.
GEORGE W. BUSH: *counts days*
LJ: Surmises! Supposes! Theorizes! Points!
n00b: Uhhhh...
SMALLER FACTION: Lines! *draws in sand*
LJ: Woe.
LJ: Deletes journal.
LJ: Fucking woe.
n00b: Seriously, HUH?
LJ: Rolls eyes, creates 8 new WTF icons.

JOSS: Whedeonverse RSS!
FANDOM: Perks up ears...
JOSS: Ha ha! They were so doing it.
FANDOM: Heart grows three sizes that day.
SOUTH DAKOTA: Represses! Lusts for virgins! Acts creepy!
LJ: Links! Educates! Rallies the forces!
SOUTH DAKOTA: Oh, snap! Appealed!
LJ: Can do good! *spams with who's a dirty pirate hooker meme*

JOSS: Fanfic rocks! Long live fandom!
FANDOM: Peeks out of rubble...
LJ: Vids? Icons? Fic? ZOOM!

MARTI: I will rule them ALL!
FANDOM: Ignores.
BUTTERFLY: Flaps wings in China!
HURRICANE: Am created in Maine - wipes out Stephen King!
BUTTERFLY: Pwned!

WRITERCON: Waits.


And that is a summary of Jossverse and its assorted Wank on LJ since the Beginning. But seriously: if you can't laugh at the silliness that is all of us online, then you really SHOULD defriend me. I SWEAR TO GOD I won't mind.

GOD: Hmmm?
STONEY: No, no, is okay. I don't believe in you.
GOD: Unaffected - creates new orchid species AND a cancer, go me!
STONEY: Atheism!


HAHAHA!! My friend Narko did one for PotC fandom, BWAH HA HA!!!

Comments

( 328 comments — Leave a comment )
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ladycat777
Mar. 27th, 2006 05:56 am (UTC)
OMG you missed the Spike is eeeeeeevil and going to ruin the beauty that is Angel!!

Also *snickers like crazy*
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:04 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA!! Crap. ALL IMPORTANT KERFUFFLES SHOULD REPRESENT, YO!

*adjusts*
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janedavitt
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:09 am (UTC)
PIGGIE: Glasses crushed, am dead.

this touched my black and twisted heart :;sniffs::

TINY BUT ERUDITE FACTION: A drabble is 100 words! ONLY!

Better believe it, baybee!

Stoney, I luffs you because you are funny and witty and make me snicker helplessly :;smooches you soggy:;
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:11 am (UTC)
HAHAHA!! (Don't even think that drabble one wasn't for you! *holds dictionary and various writerly books aloft*)

Oh, Piggie... *grabs the conch shell*
sp23
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:18 am (UTC)
JM: Uh.... *drinks Red Bull* I smoke veggie cigarettes and have a band.
OBSESSED FAN: I'm 16 and hot.
JM: *beams* Room 451.


*iz ded*


ROBIN HOBBS: Fanfic is whack.
FANDOM: o_0
ROBIN HOBBS: You all beat off!
FANDOM: Snickers!
LJ: Masturbation Ficathon, Ahoy!


*iz mor ded*

Too damned funny. What a way to start my Monday. :D

stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:20 am (UTC)
Hooray! Laughing on a Monday morning is a MUST!

*sends you off for the day with a sack lunch with a handwritten note and the crusts cut off*

Be good!
entrenous88
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:19 am (UTC)
GOD: I am well pleased.
SATAN: Oh, snap! No you di'int! *creates evil*

This is how far I made it before I choked on my tea. *goes to read the rest*
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:20 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA!!

*waits*
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cherusha
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:24 am (UTC)
We're ev0l, yo.

Also, Buffy wank too complicated for my fried-out brain. But invoking Arthur C. Clarke? That is love.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:26 am (UTC)
Go, Go Atheist, Unite!
*knows you skimmed*
*SKIMMED!*

Also: misses like my LEG HAS BEEN CUT OFF. *pets and brings you delicious breakfast treats*
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floweringjudas
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:27 am (UTC)
........d00d. *not thinking about doing this for PotC now, or anything*
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:29 am (UTC)
HAHAHA!

SHACKA LACKA SWISH! (man, PotC fandom needs to wake back up! I want to be accepted, woe.) Heee!
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pernickety
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:33 am (UTC)
Knowing nothing about the Buffy fandow, all I can say is bzuh? yet hahaha. Genius.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:35 am (UTC)
haha!!! Dude, this pretty much sums it ALL up.

*slinks and buries self into RPG*
swmbo
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:35 am (UTC)
MOST: Who the fuck is Devon? And why should I care?

This made me fall over dead.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:37 am (UTC)
I SWEAR TO GOD, I JUST PICKED UP MY COFFEE MUG.

*one LJ to rule them all, and a SWMBO to bind them*

Good morning!
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wolfshark
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:38 am (UTC)
Thank you for making my morning much better!
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:39 am (UTC)
GOOD MORNING! *tucks scone in your pocket and bus fare* Be good today! Laugh at yourself! Or, you know - lots of others! :D
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elfgirl
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:40 am (UTC)
But seriously: if you can't laugh at the silliness that is all of us online, then you really SHOULD defriend me.

Dude.

::friends::
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:41 am (UTC)
HAHAHA!

Awesome. (Heads up: this is a come and go as you please LJ. Need to kick me off? I do NOT take that personally.)
mpoetess
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:40 am (UTC)
MP: Offers to shag Stoney anywhen.

Writercon: *waits*




DYing. SRYUSLEE.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:42 am (UTC)
WHEEEEEEE!!

I stand by my "I'd top you so fast" statement.

*bides*
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:42 am (UTC)
Oh, cool! Like I imagine myself to be. Heee!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:50 am (UTC)
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY??

(and hooray, Lord of the Flies references! Come on! I'm soooo Piggie.)
(Deleted comment)
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dedra
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:49 am (UTC)
This is why I say that you are the genius on my flist...because nobody else can explain fan_wank like you do...*wonders if I'm the n00b on the story up there* *doesn't care, still thinks it's funny*
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:51 am (UTC)
Oh, I think we've ALL been the n00b.

*slips you an extra donut, tucks daisy behind your ear*
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vampirefever
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:50 am (UTC)
Me: Friends you liek woah.
Stoney: Huh? Who?
Me: Looks round, shrugs, runs away.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:52 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHA!

STONEY: Zomg, this is an addictive writing style!
ENGLISH TEACHERS: Woe.

:D
sweptawaybayou
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:58 am (UTC)
DB: Jesus. This guy? *wears cammo pants for EVER*

Dude. For Fucking Ever.

LJ: Growl! Flist is tight, yo! Hear the BNF!
PIGGIE: Glasses crushed, am dead.


*sigh*

ANTI-RPSer: RPS is evil. *prays*
LJ: Huh? *points to scroll button*
ANTI-RPSer: If it was about you, you'd be grossed out! JUST SAY NO. RPS kills.


LMAO!! One could only hope.

FACTION: Old wound! Dig!
FACTION: Scrape! Pokes at it!
INSTIGATOR: Alleged!
FACTION: I said... Links like a SUMMBITCH!
LJ: O Rly?
WORLD: ENOUGH.


*snort* As if. Perhaps in a perfect world.

WRITERCON: Waits.

God. Fucking Yes.

*licks you all over and bakes you a cake*

You? Are incredible. I'm already calling an oxygen company in Atlanta. Reserving a tank or two. Because I'm going to need it, I think.

xoxo
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:03 am (UTC)
Oooh, I'll bring a hookah pipe and smoke while you're hooked up and we'll see what happens!!

*beams joy at you*
froggimus_rex
Mar. 27th, 2006 06:59 am (UTC)
*dies laughing*

I think I love you.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:05 am (UTC)
*preens* And Brokinated?? *laughs* For you see, I too am broken inside.
1_mad_squirrel
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:09 am (UTC)
JM: Uh.... *drinks Red Bull* I smoke veggie cigarettes and have a band.
OBSESSED FAN: I'm 16 and hot.
JM: *beams* Room 451.


That's so bad, I love it! Is there basis for this?

* wants dirt *
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:11 am (UTC)
HA! Um, apparently EVERY CON and EVERY Ghost of the Robot CONCERT EVER.

*cracks up*
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beadattitude
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:10 am (UTC)
ZOMG, I'd give you my first born, but since I don't have that, I give you all the chocolate you'd ever need, Vincent K, Ewan & Hayden, and the entire David Austin Rose catalog.

Also, shoes.

::loves you leik pancakes zomg::
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:11 am (UTC)
OMG pancakes!! But I have none, so I will have waffles, for the holes fill with syrup!

*loves you back with equal intensity!*
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lusciousxander
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:12 am (UTC)
LMFAO!! So funny! I couldn't understand some of it though, but it's so funny! Especially the Marti parts. Snickers.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:15 am (UTC)
Ha! Even some of us who've been around for years are still scratching our heads at some of the wank...
sdwolfpup
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:19 am (UTC)
I feel so SMRT NOW. THANK U.

You win. *pins ribbon on chest*

FANDOM: Been busy! Drawing LINES in SAND!
LJ: ph34r my flist!
LJ: fear MY flist!
TINY BUT ERUDITE FACTION: A drabble is 100 words! ONLY!
LJ: Rawr!
TEEN WITH BROADBAND: Zomg im hear fore phun.
ADULTS WITH DICTIONARY: Groan.


So, so true.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:35 am (UTC)
*thumbs under lapel to show off ribbon*

JOY!
fireflykiwi
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:32 am (UTC)
I am so going to copy this and post it my journal for others to read....OMG this was funny.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:34 am (UTC)
...

You could link to it, instead? (But I'm glad I made you laugh. Was the whooooole point!)
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julia_here
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:32 am (UTC)
When we do the choral reading, I've got dibs on "ENOUGH" and "WOE."

Julia, also fell back asleep and dreamed about dealing with a baby bear and the reanimated corpse of Tutankhamen. Am worried.
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:35 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHA!!!! OMG, Greek Chorus.

And if you fall asleep again, just remember that Tutkanhamen's brains were scrambled and pulled out of his nose, so you can TOTALLY take him.
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menomegirl
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:41 am (UTC)
JOSS: Blondes fight back! Hot guys with ambiguous sexuality! NERDS! *WHAMMO CREATES!*
FANDOM: Sighs with satisfaction.
SATAN: I said oh, SNAP! *changes name*
MARTI: That's better. I'll just store these horns for later use.


*snickers*

JOSS: Hot blonde, dudes, weight of the world, SEX.
FANDOM: Hyperventilates!
JOSS: *whispers* Ambiguous gay love.
FANDOM: Hurrah!
JOSS: Be free! Write! Fly my pretties!


*grins*

WILLOW: I am GAY NOW.
WORLD: We heard you the last eighty times you reminded us.
MOST: Who the fuck is Devon? And why should I care?


*inhales orange juice*

TEEN WITH BROADBAND: Zomg im hear fore phun.
ADULTS WITH DICTIONARY: Groan.


*word*

VIRGIN: Shampoo works! Or motor oil!
PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD SEX: Crosses fucking LEGS, OW.


*SNORTS*

TEEN WITH BROADBAND: Masterbashun is kewl.
ERUDITE ADULTS: www.dictionary.com, GOD.


*snickers again*

LJ: It's not you, it's me.
FANDOM: Yeah, you can be a bitch.


*cackles*

WRITER: Dude, flame? 'Splain.
LJ: ERUPTS!
FANDOM: Huh?


*nods* Yep, that's wtf happened.

JOSS: Whedeonverse RSS!
FANDOM: Perks up ears...
JOSS: Ha ha! They were so doing it.
FANDOM: Heart grows three sizes that day.


*smiles*

JOSS: Fanfic rocks! Long live fandom!
FANDOM: Peeks out of rubble...


*smiles more*

MARTI: I will rule them ALL!
FANDOM: Ignores.


*giggles*


Thanks for making me smile darlin'.



















stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:42 am (UTC)
Glad you laughed!
... - menomegirl - Mar. 27th, 2006 07:53 am (UTC) - Expand
sisabet
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:44 am (UTC)
It is funny because it is true!

::dies::
stoney321
Mar. 27th, 2006 07:48 am (UTC)
HA! And this doesn't even get into icon/vid battles!

*uses magic to reanimate you*
*or possibly a bucket of cold water*
*it's a magic bucket*
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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