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Ha. I like the sound of me having a "policy." *straightens name tag* Sometimes I'm just not going to reply to comments. Lemme 'splain. Wait - there is too much. Lemme sum up. [/Montoya]

I recognize that a good 60% of you that have me friended have done so to read the train wreck that is this LJ. Which is fine, great, good, all of that. No worries! And some of you come by days later and catch up on the train wreck all at once. Again, see: fine, good. And sometimes I get comments to old posts - the rambling ones, not fic - I will almost ALWAYS reply to feedback, because I feel that's polite, and are you kidding me? Thanks for leaving me feedback! *was raised properly* But... if you've commented to a post from a week ago, my brain forgets. And... I'm a busy gal. And I don't like sitting my ass in this chair all day long, sorry. So, please don't take offense, and if you want to leave a comment, knock yourself out! I read everyone of them. I just may not always reply. This is for OLD POSTS. Erm..

Last night I watched Really Bad Lesbian Short Films. I thought I was getting a compilation of Women-Themed short films. Which they were, but I swear to GOD I if hear a single trumpet note sound over an over again with a gauze-covered lens softly focusing on a woman longingly looking out of a window one more time... Someone's gonna be in a drive-by. *sounds of gunfire* JESUS H. I'm pretty sure we've moved beyond the whole "woman trapped by The Man, can only peer through 'glass ceiling, as represented by glass window' which is symbolic of her Longing For That Which She Cannot Have."

Oh and bad porn. Loooooots of bad porn in them. o_O There was a funny American-directed one, where a girl was interviewing for a potential girlfriend, and it poked fun at all of the lesbian stereotypes in a really funny and positive way. Aaaaaaaanyway.



Hip Hop Quiz Answers

"Don't push me cuz I'm close to the edge I'm tryin' not to lose my head, uh huh huh huh huh. It's like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under."
This would be Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, one of the pioneers of rap and made the white population aware of what was going on in the ghetto. Because no one paid attention to Penny (aka Janet Jackson) getting burned by her crackhead momma!! *cries* Okay, a handful of you will catch that reference.

"Girl you talk too much, oh girl you never shut up!"
Off RUN-DMC's first album. This is a CLASSIC. Album also has: "My Adiddas" and "It's Tricky" etc. *goes to a happy junior high place*

"Pimps up, Ho's down."
Snoop a loop. (Snoop Dogg) and Dr. Dre on one of the "conversation" tracks on The Chronic, which will forever be one of my favorite - holy crap the music and production on that album are STILL kickin'. Yes. I said "kickin'." Whuh whuh?

"Never trust a big butt that smiles, that girl is Poooooooiiiiiisooooon! (hoo!)"
Are you KIDDING ME, people? "Mean girl?" *sighs* This is Bel Biv DaVoe (A B C, B B D.) This is from the BEST time of Hip Hop EVER: the '89-'92 years. Fun, dancy, great back beats. This was the Fly Girls era! This was when Bobby Brown was still kinda normal and not so damned skeevy.

"Gettin' jiggywith it."
Oh, you ALL KNEW THIS ONE, huh? Will Smith. I know he's the McDonalds of the rap world. I don't care. I would kiss that man full on the lips and snuggle him and make his do the Carlton dance with me.

"Drink a lot of soda so they call me Dr. Pepper."
HA! One of the five best voices in rap, Q-Tip from Tribe Called Quest. Damn, I love that group. Smart, funny, silly, and I still nod and bob my head to "Skypager."

"Lost a few pounds in my whips for ya, Sex me so good I say blah blah blah. Work it! I need a glass of water..."
Missy "Misdemeanor" Eliot, who needs to come out with a new album NOW because I love her. (whips = saddlebags)

"You know what you suck in yo mouth? Deez muthafuckin' nuuuuuutz!"
Again with the Snoop Dogg, calling out Easy "Muthafuckin'" E on The Chronic. (How can you not laugh at this shit? It makes me dance because of the awesome music, and laugh at the homoeroticness of two guys challenging each other to suck their dicks. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??)

"The girls, the girls they love me! (He's the overweight lover Heavy D!)"
Heavy D, one of the hip-hop pioneers for the dance generation, also did the theme song to In Living Color. Fun and bouncy and nice.

"Informer! seriously. I fucking hate Snow."
The answer was ALL OF THE ABOVE. Ugh. Canadian guy in glasses and Morrissey hair cut, shirt buttoned to the top and a Jamaican accent. NO WAY did anyone think he would be a one hit wonder. O_O

"'We want to fuck you Easy!' I want to fuck you, too!"
Easy E. Formerly of NWA, then solo, hence the "battle" with Dre, who was also in NWA (Fuck the Police - comin' straight from tha underground..) Incidentally, this is one of the first songs my boyfriend Michael and I made out to. Uh... He laughed at the misogynist undertones, I laughed at how it WASN'T an undertone, he marveled that I knew this stuff and our lips met. Awwww. That's .... not romantic.

"Whoop! There it is! (Louder!)"
So you've been to a sporting event, eh? This was when Hip-hop sank, IMO. This, "Lemme see ya tootsie roll!" and other crap songs started coming out in '94. And Tupac and Biggie Smalls were killed not long after. COINCIDENCE?? Possibly.

"Never eat a pig because a pig is a cop, or better yet a Terminator. Like Arnold Schwartzenegger. Try to play me out like as if my name was Sega."
Jump around. Jump up jump up and get down, people. House of Pain is the group, and if you watch the video, you can see a post "New Kids on the Block" Danny Wahlberg slamming Guinness in the background. Irish rappers. And... it WORKED.

"I know you're supposed to be my steering wheel and not just my spare tire. (Ho!) But Lord I ask you... To be my guiding force of truth. For some strange reason it had to be: He guided me to Tennessee."
One of the BEST ALBUMS in hip-hop: Arrested Development. Ooooh, I loved this album. So deep and spiritual and thinky and groovy and butt shaking and SPIRITUAL. Never tell me hip-hop is all about sex or frivolity. I'll point you to Speech (the lead vocals). Or Common. Or Q-Tip. Or...

"Nearly broke my sacroiliac"
Again with Grandmaster Flash. Are you KIDDING ME?? I love this! Sacroiliac is actually at your hip, but this is a great way to allude to broke my ass without saying it. Don't push me, cuz I'm close to the edge....


Okay. Rambled enough. I need to FUNCTION away from the 'puter for a bit. It is FRIDAY!! WHOOOOO!! *sends love and joy to everyone*

Comments

( 56 comments — Leave a comment )
dlgood
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:17 am (UTC)
"Never trust a big butt that smiles, that girl is Poooooooiiiiiisooooon! (hoo!)"

That's not the line! It's "Never Trust a Big Butt AND a smile."

Oh, and you do know who one of Heavy D's Da Boys was. Sean Combs...

Greatest Onion Album Reviews Ever: Snow's Greatest Hits. Did somebody accidentally make this plural?
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:24 am (UTC)
!!!!!

And not since "wrapped up like a deuce, another runner in the night" controversy has there been a battle like THIS. Or something.

Okay, I grabbed my CASSETTE TAPE of BBD, and the lyrics there are: never trust a big butt that smiles. And I have seen them perform. And the lyrics websites concur with you, but I ask you, Dave: how far do you want to take this? *cracks up*

How.

Far.

(And I am laughing myself sick over the Onion's comment. GOD DAMN I want to work for that paper.)

P Diddy was also a BACK UP DANCER for Digital Underground "Come'ere fat girl, are you ticklish? Yeah I called you fat, look at me I'm skinny!"

And of: "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom" fame. Awesome. (Bobby Brown was a dancer in that video, too.)
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annabelle528
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:17 am (UTC)
That was such a fun poll. I'm way too proud of the fact that I only missed three. I'm the whitest white girl ever, but I love hip hop. Especially the old school stuff.

Also, hi! I friended you recently and wanted to pop in and comment since I feel weird being all lurker-y. :)
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:25 am (UTC)
Hello!! Welcome to Crazyville. So you know: I NEVER take offense if you need to rid yourself of my pestilence. Feel free to pop your head up any time so we can get to know each other!
poshcat
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:22 am (UTC)
>>COINCIDENCE?? Possibly.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ::loves::

As someone who has nevah listened to rap on purpose (except maybe Snow and that Youth of the Nation song on the radio), I thank you for summing up the History of Rap for me.

::goes back to my very white life::
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:26 am (UTC)
Ahahahaha!! I was waiting for my Cannucks to jump on me for that Snow thing. Heeeeee!!

So... no hot pants dancing to "Me So Horny" when we're at WriterCon? *crosses that off list*
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smashsc
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:27 am (UTC)
Bad lesbian shorts are just horrible - and I'm pretty sure I've seen the bottom of a barrel, below even the level you got on DVD. I mean the ones you saw were good enough that they got on a actual produced DVD. The ones I've seen.... Just, I should hold a viewing party to mock the badness.

Hi, happy Friday.
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 09:12 am (UTC)
Heee! This was a comipilation of shorts from all over the world, so they were internationally bad!

HAPPY FRIDAY! (Oh, I also watched a movie with a young Mischa Barton, Piper Perabo and ... another girl - who was STUNNING, my GOD - last night that was okay. It quickly dissolved into lame auteur crap, but was very good with the girls' relationship building, character development, and oh yeah. The girls were SO BEAUTIFUL and sweet with each other. Can't think of the name... Waiting for you? Something like that.)
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wickedgrdn
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:38 am (UTC)
Ok, I have to give you props here. I thought that I hated rap, but you brought it old school here and I think I love you a little more just for that! ;) Every single one of the songs on the poll brought back some serious memories for me. I think I said before that I went through a hip hop phase in high school?

It was high school all over again, yo! ;)

Thanks for the memories Stoney! *smooch*
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 09:14 am (UTC)
I LOOOOVE rap. If it wasn't for Missy Elliot and Ludachris (roll out!) bringing stuff that's good (and let's not foget Kanye and N.E.R.D.s and Pharell and.... okay. Um, the crap on the radio blows. The stuff on my stereo doesn't.)

HIP HOP NATION! (And I didn't even put any Public Enemy up there! Chuck D has THE BEST VOICE in rap history.)
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winterlive
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:39 am (UTC)
*claps* house of pain omg. <3
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 09:15 am (UTC)
*jumps around*

Get up, stand up, come on throw your hands up! If you've got the feeling, jump against the ceiling! I came to get down. I came to get down. So get out'ya seat and jump around.

Jump around. (heeeeeee!)
melbournegirl
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:54 am (UTC)
Hip-Hop Hooray!

I'm actually a little young for a lot of the late 80's-early 90's stuff, but what I know is awesome.

What's your stance on english rap (roots manuva, the streets, dizzee rascal)? It seems a lot more fertile right now than (mainstream) American rap. (B.E.P. Chingy etc.)

Oh, go download Jonathan Coulton's folk covers of 'Baby got back' and 'Bills, bills, bills'. There on his website free.
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 09:16 am (UTC)
Ho! Hey! Ho!!

I am not down with the new English scene, so you have just given me a project for the weekend, YAY!!! (I hate the "grillz" faction in the US right now. Guh. Boring, lame, retreads. If I want Gangsta, I'll kick it old school.) I'm totally down with Talib Kwali (sp?), Common, The Roots, that neo-soul sound. YES, PLEASE.

(Thanks for the heads up! I've needed some new tunes!!)
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drusplace
Apr. 28th, 2006 08:59 am (UTC)
How did I miss your poll? And SNOW? Snow is on the list? *shudders* Ever heard him speak in his real voice? Yeah you're from Scarborough man. Love your little (un)romantic story to Easy E. I still love NWA. "It's Tricky" is still one of my fav songs. Sounds great on an ipod. And I had a serious crush on Everlast in the days of House of Pain, although that crush has moved to DJ Lethal. Too bad Limp Bizkit has gone downhill, imho.
melbournegirl
Apr. 28th, 2006 09:04 am (UTC)
You should check out the side project from Wes Boreland (LB Guitarist) and his brother 'Big Dumb Face'. It's weird, yet awesome.
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crayonbreakygal
Apr. 28th, 2006 09:49 am (UTC)
I was just taking the quiz and filling in the things that seemed funny. Hey, I actually got a few right.

I am so far behind sometimes on my flist, I do make comments to things that could be a week old. Please don't worry about responding. I don't expect anyone to at that point. I still like catching up on the flist when I'm out of town though and making a few comments here and there.
cordelianne
Apr. 28th, 2006 09:49 am (UTC)
You watched Really Bad Lesbian Short Films! I feel your pain. I have seen many. I attend our queer festival in Toronto, and have been to a lot of short film programmes. There's only so many times you can get away with bathroom breaks. There was one in which they filmed their dogs! There was bad voiceover (for the dog's voices!) and weird swirly colours and ... oh the badness. They actually have a series of them. *shudders* It's even worse because a lot of the filmmakers are local, so you can't show your horror.

The one where she's interviewing for a girlfriend sounds like fun, and similar to Go Fish, one of the better full length lesbian films. I also noticed you mentioning the one with Piper Perabo and Misha Barton and were wondering about the title. That's Lost and Delirious, it's a Canadian film. It's actually based on the novel, Wives of Bath, by Susan Swan. The book is much better.
smashsc
Apr. 28th, 2006 10:01 am (UTC)
If you think the shorts you see attending the festival is bad, never be on a programming committee. Oh, holy wow, badness. (-:

Have you ever seen the short that is a film noir spoof and seems 3 hours long? so bad.
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 01:03 pm (UTC)
Hi!!! Just back from filling my belly with nummy food.

I fully support your choosing silliness! I support that in the highest degree! *squish*
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 12:59 pm (UTC)
I'm on the phone with you right now!

Heh.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 12:58 pm (UTC)
HELLO. I like Woody's older movies. He's... pretty much making the same movie over and over and I'm tired of the "podiatrist" character in his flicks. GOT IT. And no one in New York has apartments like that, Woody.

Scarlett is pretty. I would watch her read a newspaper. JRM has been ruined for me - I have a hard time watching him...
cherusha
Apr. 28th, 2006 10:14 am (UTC)
"Never eat a pig because a pig is a cop, or better yet a Terminator. Like Arnold Schwartzenegger. Try to play me out like as if my name was Sega."

I was thinking of doing a Sparrow vid to this just the other day!

(My beloved Mac is back! Whoo!)
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 12:50 pm (UTC)
HI HI HI!! Just got back from Vietnamese food (oh, my tummy is soooo happy) and am wrapping up the last of my bubble tea (rainbow? is this a flavor? I dun kair - sew gud)

Can I email deets to you!?!? *bounces*
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thepiratequeen
Apr. 28th, 2006 10:18 am (UTC)
Wow I got more of those right then I thought. My ghetto cred is feeling better today. And so am I!
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 12:51 pm (UTC)
YAY! Glad you aren't sick anymore! It's all rainy and gloomy here - I need some tea and fuzzy slippers and I'll look for you, if you want to play?

(Otherwise, just glad you are feeling better, hooray!)
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pernickety
Apr. 28th, 2006 10:31 am (UTC)
Even now that I've read the answers, to me your rap survey looks like it's a different language. I've got some serious catching up to do.

That 'woman sitting by the window' thing in movies short-circuits all switches in my brain straight to psycho bitch rage. can't. stand. it. But: Yay! Bad lez porn!
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 12:52 pm (UTC)
THE WOMAN AT THE WINDOW. With cheesy jazz music softly building in the background.... GAH. Enough.

(And the porn part was LAME. Not even titilating at ALL. Harumph.) :D
marlo
Apr. 28th, 2006 10:32 am (UTC)
HOLY ICON WORSHIP
TRIBE CALLED QUEST FOR THE FUCKING WIN, BABY

I AM DRINKING "STEEPED" TEA FROM TIM HORTON'S AND HAVING A BOUNCY CAFFEINE PARTY RIGHT HERE IN MY OFFICE. THERE IS ACTUAL SUN OUTSIDE, AND IT'S FRIDAY, OH MY HECK.

I WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE OF BIG LOVE LAST NIGHT AND IT WAS PRETTY INTERESTING. THE BITS ON THE COMPOUND MADE ME SO FUCKING SAD. SO THEN I WATCHED SOME GOOD LESBIAN PORN (THANK YOU, ABBYWINTERS).

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL, YOU KNOW.

::JUMPS UP AND DOWN::
marlo
Apr. 28th, 2006 10:35 am (UTC)
Re: HOLY ICON WORSHIP
P.S. I TELL YOU WHAT, I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO WATCH TURK DANCING TO "THAT GIRL IS POISONNNNNNNNNNNN" ON REPEAT AND LEARN ALL OF HIS KICK-ASS MOVES.

GIRL I MUST WARN YOUUUUUUUU
I SENSE SOMETHING STRANGE IN MY MIND
SITUATION IS SERIOUUUUUUUUUS
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floweringjudas
Apr. 28th, 2006 11:11 am (UTC)
Dude suspect the phrase Really Good Lesbian Short Film is an oxymoron. The films I hate most in the world deal with two girls.

Back to training! La.
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2006 12:55 pm (UTC)
Hee hee!! Empire Records. *makes a button*

(Although I will say that the other movie I watched, Lost & Delirious was great for the first half. Those two girls should be gay for each other in ALL the movies.)

TRAINING! I was going to email you tonight and see how the new job is! Have a GREAT DAY. Will probably pester you to hear how you are, should you wanna chat... :D
( 56 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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