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Okay, this is ME saying it's disturbing. Me, who has systematically raped you of precious childhood memories and- Okay, my stuff isn't that bad, please. ANYWAY. I mentioned the drugged out/abuse/murder fic with Bert and Ernie, right? DO YOU WANT TO READ IT? "Incident on Caraway Road." Oh, man. I've been looking for that fic for EVER.

Last night I watched an incredibly beautiful and quiet movie based on a book I adored: Balzac: And the Little Chinese Seamstress.

First, I'll be frank. (You be Jim.) They deviate slightly from the novel. They HAVE to, as there wasn't much dialogue. The only misstep IMO was towards the end, even though it satisfies the "what happened next" aspect that anyone who writes fanfiction can identify with. If you haven't read the novel, you are doing yourself a disservice. Quiet, thoughtful, lyrical. Interesting side-note: Japanese movies and novels tend to be very testosterone-driven, where Chinese (the ones I've read/seen, etc.) allow women to be central figures.

When I die, I want to be cremated and spread over the Phoenix mountains. My god, the backdrop for this movie is so beautiful. Two boys, sons of intellectuals during Mao's reign, are sent to live in the mountains and literally haul shit for the peasants. To be "re-educated" so they no longer want to be a part of anything "reactionary." Funny moment with one of the boys, Luo (who if he isn't the most beautiful boy on earth, he's in the top three) who's father is a "reactionary dentist." Ha! Basically, he fixed the tooth of someone Mao deemed dangerous.

They are literate, and quite literate at that. The villagers are completely illiterate, have never seen a clock, a violin... All of which turns into fortune for the boys, as they claim a Mozart sonata is called "Mozart is thinking of Mao" so the one boy, Ma, can keep his instrument. (Oh, god I had serious heart palpitations when the villagers were passing the violin around, shaking it, and almost throwing it in the fire. Once an orch dork, always an orch dork.) The love that happens builds naturally, and is so sweet and touching and erotic, oh my god... Both boys fall in love with Little Seamstress, and one scene with her lying in a pile of leaves, and both Luo and Ma lay down on either side of her while they tell her stories from foreign novels, and she takes both of their hands and smiles... So beautiful.

Luo, with his charm and easy wit is able to get the Little Seamstress to fall in love with him, and he falls likewise. His goal was to educate her. Left in the dust is Ma, who is quieter, more cautious, but has passion just at the surface, waiting to break out. When Luo has to leave, he is left to pick up the pieces and continue to love from afar.

The idea of two boys bringing "intellect" to these people is lovely - in the face of oppression, knowledge and love and art will always find a way, but I love that Little Seamstress, instead of being content with sitting at their feet and always learning from them, outgrows their lessons and wants to find out on her own. Um, I'm starting to sound pretentious to myself, so just know it's a beautiful, quiet movie, and takes the themes of the novel and translates them wonderfully.

[ETA]: The BEST Dallas-Based company EVER. Anti-Successories!! Be sure to check them ALL out.

Some quotes from Anti-Successories:
~Inspiration: Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad

~Get to Work: You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

~Effort: Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places

~Dysfunction: The only consistent feature of all your dissatisfying relationships is you.

~Compromise: Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

Really, it's the accompanying poster that makes these so damn funny.


( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 11th, 2006 06:55 am (UTC)
That fic was both hilarious and awesome!

What? I have no childhood.
May. 11th, 2006 07:17 am (UTC)
Ha! So wrong. (A few typos, but then, was the author really going to send that to a beta? Hahaha!!)

Oh, check out the ETA I just added. That stuff makes me laugh SO hard.
May. 11th, 2006 07:32 am (UTC)
HAHA! I love it. Those successories always annoyed me. Do you notice that they always pop up in dentists' offices? It's like they want you to believe that you're not gonna be the victim of a small murder, but that you're going to go on some wonderful, soul-transcending adventure. Which I guess you are, in a way. I mean, one look at that drill approaching you...
May. 11th, 2006 07:34 am (UTC)
They are making me laugh my butt off. "No single rain drop wants to accept it was a part of the flood." Heeeeeeeee!!

(Did you look at the pretty boys? Why are you denying me mutual sighing?! Or are they not your type? you know: ATTRACTIVE@!? Heee!)
May. 11th, 2006 07:43 am (UTC)
Pretty boy numero 2 was in a gay film. He got naked and did the squelchy with an older businessman - who he later fell in love with - for money to pay for college (if I remember correctly).

Look! I have pictures.
May. 11th, 2006 07:47 am (UTC)
Oooooooooooooooooh. I was seriously flip flopping back and forth with who I loved more, Luo or Ma. *gulp*

YOUR GOOGLE-FU IS SUPERIOR, CHERUSHA-SAN! *bows* I go in serch of fitness, and shall return. *looks off into the distance, single reed-instrument blows lonely note*
May. 11th, 2006 06:58 am (UTC)
That novel sounds lovely. I can't imagine a life without art and music, for me thay are such a passionate part of living.

And I mus be strong and not click on that link, must be strong and not click on that link, must be strong and
May. 11th, 2006 07:16 am (UTC)
Oh, the book is WONDERFUL. Short, consise, well written. I highly recommend it. The movie was every bit as lovely, as well, and that doesn't happen often.

*pokes you to cliiiiiiiiiiick*
(Deleted comment)
May. 11th, 2006 07:15 am (UTC)
Hahahaha!! AND I BET THE FRENCH DON'T AGREE. *stern face*

(Dude, check out the ETA I just added. Ahahaha! I love that shit. If you search their site, check out their Valentines Candy. Heee!)
May. 11th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)
I've read that story before, on monkeybottom's site, but its still awesome! Destroys my whole Rubber Ducky bathtime fun childhood memory collection,lol, but oh well, :)
May. 11th, 2006 07:24 am (UTC)
Yeah, the Rubber Ducky butt plug'll do that. *cracks up again*
May. 11th, 2006 07:39 pm (UTC)
May. 11th, 2006 07:43 am (UTC)
Good morning Stoney! I loff you!
May. 11th, 2006 07:45 am (UTC)
GOOD MORNING!!! I am having a laugh-tastic morning, yay!!!

May. 11th, 2006 08:23 am (UTC)
When My Cousin the Berkeley Professor was in charge of these things, the "Meetings" one hung in the department conference room; she got the manchild a couple of their T-shirts for his last birthday.

Julia, I like "Intimidation" myself

May. 11th, 2006 08:52 am (UTC)
Hahaha!! That's a great one, too. I knew you'd like them. :D
May. 11th, 2006 08:26 am (UTC)
I think I'm now traumatized from reading that fic! I knew I would be, but somehow I just couldn't resist the lure of the link!
May. 11th, 2006 08:53 am (UTC)
The lure... she is strong. :D
(Deleted comment)
May. 11th, 2006 01:24 pm (UTC)
BWAH. Instrument?

Of the devil: Book of Mormon
Comma Musical: saxophone. I think you could dig with it.
Comma Tool: Swiss Army knife. But mostly for the tweezers. People underestimate their importance. Oh, and I'd need the knife to kill people and eat them.
May. 11th, 2006 07:17 pm (UTC)
You can get out of handcuffs with the Swiss Army knife tweezers. :)
May. 11th, 2006 12:09 pm (UTC)
Hmm, too bad I can hang a few of those at work.

I once saw a sign I so very badly want for work: I'd tell you do go to hell, but I work there and I wouldn't want to see you every day.
May. 11th, 2006 01:25 pm (UTC)
Ahahahahaha!!! I love that! If I ever had to work at the DMV, I would put that sign up, rules be damned.
May. 11th, 2006 02:39 pm (UTC)
Damn grammar... CAN'T hang a few... Man, I hate when I do that.

lol, the DMV around here isn't too bad, though I can't say I'd want to work there.
May. 11th, 2006 01:18 pm (UTC)
I remember getting the catalog with these posters in them a while back. If I'd had wall space, it would have been tempting.
May. 11th, 2006 01:26 pm (UTC)
Apparently they have a calendar. I could go for that. I love funny daily calendars. And yet... I haven't had one for about four years. WHY IS THAT? *goes to fix*
May. 11th, 2006 03:53 pm (UTC)
The Despair De-Motivators are great. We got my boss the Pessimists Mug.

My favorite are: Discovery, Power, and Retirement. Plus,

Persistence: It's over, man. Let her go.
May. 11th, 2006 03:59 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha!! I love that stuff. LOVE IT. Successories were a big hit when I was in college (that's when they were out, I think? Early nineties?) and the De-Motivators started coming out, what? Two years later? As you should know by now, I'm a huge fan of mocking.

Especially when it's "self-Help" motivational speaking bullshit. The pessimist's mug is funny because it's "made of borates and phophates" and promises to make everything taste bitter. (And the "executive version" is the SAME THING, but more expensive. Hahahahaha!!)
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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