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Kinky Birthdays

Two separate things, really. Happy birthday to the fantastic, dry-witted gardener and calf-raiser extraordinaire, julia_here. And for you, Julia, a joke from my friend Chrissy, who raises racing stock: All this week they've been breeding, which means my tough little friend (5'2", 98 pounds soaking wet) holds the mares still while the lust-crazed stallions come in for the approach. The owner of the facility had a friend along, to witness the "majesty." After a few well-places kicks from the mare to the stud's scrotum (torn and bleeding now, but does he care? Hell no.) the stud pulls his balls up inside and continues on with the Lord's Work. This friend sees only a rivulet of blood on the stud's hindquarters and no balls, and starts screaming hysterically, "She kicked his balls off!" Hahaha!! I thought you'd get a kick out of that. Badumbum ching! Have a fantastic day today, and may the kiddoes prune your roses and such for you, while you rest and sip something tasty.

Kinky. Kinky Friedman, that is. This is the loudmouth, cigar-chomping Jew running for Texas governor. This man makes me so happy, I can barely see straight. Funny, smart, a writer with a dirty, sassy mouth, he is the very epitome of what a Texan USED to be thought of, before Dubya bought a ranch and decided to play "cowboy." I've said it once, and I'll say it again: Connecticut? Y'all need to claim what's yours, 'cause he ain't ours.

So there's hope for Texas, folks. Those of us that remember Annette Strauss, who love Ann Richards (recovering from cancer, bless that sass-pot) and Molly Ivins, and for those of us that goddammit, LOVE TEXAS. I do. I am completely unapologetic about my love for my home state. Only state that was its own nation. Fought our own wars. Dammit, that had a gov'ner named Hogg, with a daughter with the first name Ima. How can you not love that history? For all the cowboys and ranchers and Good Old Boys that live here, there was a multi-year long debate over whether our state's motto should be "The Wildflower State" or "The Lone Star State." They're men, but dammit, they love their pretty land, too.

So back to Kinky Friedman. After getting almost four times the amount of petition signatures needed to run as an independent, he replied, "Thank God for all the dance halls and bars in this fine state." THAT is who I want. I love that he's comparing himself to Sam Houston, the last independent gov of Texas. (Sam Houston, by the way, had a ladies underwear fetish, and did opium, but that's neither here nor there.) Here's a link to the issues and his opinions. He just makes sense. And if you think the Texas governor race doesn't matter to you, because you live elsewhere, I'd like to point out the current administration. Enough people didn't care and look what happened? (Gah, and they're grooming Rick Perry - the guy that took over when Bush left for Washington - to be Presidential ready. That SOB makes me so sick, I don't know where to begin.)

I'm tired of the "religious right" Republicans who are wrong on almost everything. I'm tired of the "embrace everything, no matter how full of holes it may be" Democrats. Dammit, I'm Kinky. Let's hope the state of Texas is Kinky, too. :D Have a great day, folks! (And I'm gonna need a Kinky icon, I reckon.)

Comments

( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
dedra
May. 12th, 2006 06:51 am (UTC)
Hell, the way that I see it? It can't get any worse than Dubya...right? And I love Kinky's view on gay marriage, lol..."hell, let them be as miserable as the rest of us"...can't argue with that kind of logic...

Let's hope that all those people that signed his petition and dance in them halls and barns get out there and vote him in....

And did you happen to see that Dubya and Dad are supporting JEB's run for prez in 2008? just wondering about your thoughts on that little number...like Jeb ever did anything right, look at the Schiavo business....just saying....
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 08:13 am (UTC)
Can't stand any of the Bushes, from their ineffectual father who continued the transfer of power to corporations from citizenry to their stupid drunken daughters. Bah.
a2zmom
May. 12th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)
I remember when the Texas Jewboy was a singer. Long may Kinky reign.

Another Texan I'm mighty fond of is Lyle Lovett.

I have quite a bit of family in Taxas but they're all tranplants. I guess their kids will be natives.
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 08:14 am (UTC)
Ha! That's right! Mostly I approve of his excellent black bean and corn salsa and his mystery novels. And as to those transplants, if they behave themselves and don't wax Yankee on us (*grin*) we'll take 'em and call them our own.

They just need to learn that you pass on the left, and if you're slower than everyone, get the hell off the highway. :D
a2zmom
May. 12th, 2006 10:42 am (UTC)
Most of them are actually from Atlanta. So at least they've got the southern thing down.
entrenous88
May. 12th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)
I'm so excited to hear more about Kinky Friedman -- it seemed like the news focus on him had gone down, so yay for more updates.

Every Texan I've ever met, from emo goth boys to pearl-wearing sorority girls to every stripe of person, loves the state! Most loyal citizenry ever.
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 08:17 am (UTC)
Ha! Yep, we're raised from birth with pride, and we're the only state where it's legal to have the state flag as high as the nation's flag. Little strange fact about Texas there for ya.

And Kinky's great. He's getting more and more press here, which is terrific. I mean, hell: Willie Nelson supports him, and it doesn't get much more Texan than Willie. He still eats breakfast at the Bluebonnet Cafe every morning he's in town. (This would be Marble Falls, a little town outside of Austin.)
aimeelicious
May. 12th, 2006 09:33 am (UTC)
I might have fallen in love with Kinky when I clicked on that link.
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 11:19 am (UTC)
Isn't he AWESOME?!?! He's a novelist and a country singer, too!! And makes damn fine salsa.

:D Hey there!! (Bee sting alright? Man, I just stressed about that for you. Once a mom, always a mom, right?)
(Anonymous)
May. 12th, 2006 09:34 am (UTC)
I googled today
Hey, this is kinda weird for you i guess, but i was surfing on the net and i looked on google images, and when i typed NOFX it showed a picture of you between all the other NOFX pictures, i clicked it and got on your website, from there on i got on your live journal, etc etc, and now im here. i just wanted to say you look great!

greetings from jorick!
btw, if you are wondering where im from, im from The Netherlands (Europe).
this is my mail if you want to mail me cause i will probably forget that i was here.

n2gethernowdvs@gmail.com

my mail!

peace!
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 11:25 am (UTC)
Whoops, there's a misstep somewhere here... I have no website and don't know who NOFX is, sorry!

But if I did, I would have been flattered, jorick! Have a great day (night?), and peace back at you!
cherusha
May. 12th, 2006 11:40 am (UTC)
*cracks up*

Man, you REALLY look good!
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 11:49 am (UTC)
HEEEEE!! I'm awesome looking!!

(Hello! Heading to the grocery store: want anything? Heh.)

cherusha
May. 12th, 2006 11:53 am (UTC)
Anything with chocolate and goodness and puppies*, please!


*the puppies are for snuggling.

stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 01:36 pm (UTC)
no chocolate covered puppies, then?

HA! I got some of that dark chocolate with cranberries in it, YUM. There will be some in June, oh yes.
cherusha
May. 12th, 2006 02:06 pm (UTC)
only if they behave

CRANBERRIES! I am addicted to cranberries.

*hearts, yet again*
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 11:18 am (UTC)
ANNE!! You are not dooming Kinky. It's a long shot for him to win, but he will definitely have an influence on this upcoming election, regardless. Didn't he just say everything that makes sense?? He was here for the St. Pat's parade, rode a float and drank a Guiness. His picture was in the paper, and some of the Christian Coalition types tried to make him out to be a bad guy for having a beer at 10am. In a St. Pat's parade. o_O

His response: "Yeah. That's pretty damned outrageous for a fella to have a beer with all them Irish types. At least I wasn't drivin' or doing coke." Nice pointed remark about their poster boy Bush.

Mormon? From Massachussets?? I can't believe he made it up there! And hell no the Deep Coastal South won't vote for him. They like their religious types to not be Catholic or Cult members. Good ol' Born Again, or possibly Methodist. Hell, Lutheran is pushing it for South Carolina.

Orrin Hatch barely has folks out east (that are Red State) not looking at him askance. (And I'm telling you, Big Love is pushing some uncomfortable truths into the public eye.)

What works for Kinky Friedman is the fact that regardless of him being a mostly-liberal minded Jew, he LOOKS and SOUNDS like the quintessential Texan. That there is a fine example of the wit and independant thought that I associate with my home. And if he keeps playing it right, he'll convince everyone the same.

Good example on his site: "Less than a third of voters showed up for this last election. That's not what Texans died at the Alamo for." God bless that man. (As he puts it: Whichever God you Follow bless you.) Ha!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, I just bet he has. Utah politics are even worse than Bush's politics. They were the first to establish a "Porn Czar." They started grassroots campaigns to get local church members to drive across state lines to Mesquite, NV and Wendover, NV to write down license plate numbers of people visiting "adult shops" and POSTED THEM IN CHURCH BULLETINS. As in, the agenda you get on Sunday morning. As well as in the local papers. Heaven forbid an adult buy legal, erotic material for private use.

Not to mention the RAGE the local citizenry felt when Clinton turned the Escalante land into a National Park, instead of a golf-and-condo resort. I CRINGE at the thought of all that gorgeous natural land turned into a fucking golf course. And where was the water going to come to sustain it? (We're talking the back end of Bryce Canyon here. !!! Nope, no one wants to see that. FORE!)

FUCK I hate that state. Ooops, let me ammend that: I hate the PEOPLE of that state. The land is absolutely stunning, and I ache for it on a regular basis. (And I just bet your guy changed his agenda ASAP. SLimy git.)
julia_here
May. 12th, 2006 10:35 am (UTC)
Every time I checked my Email yesterday there was an AOL news headline saying George 1 and 2 think Jeb would be a great President. Gag.

I'd vote for the Kinkster if I were in Texas, and share your Ann Richards love (my favorite moment in Chihully over Venice shows her and that great messy heap of a nutcase pitching glass forms into the Grand Canal). I figure that the Bush nonsense just proves that even Texas' bad ideas are oversized.

Julia, and HEE for the "kicked his balls off" moment- reminds me of my sister getting kicked in the eye by a bull and thinking her face was covered with her brains, although it turned out to be only shit.
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 11:11 am (UTC)
I love the Kinkster. Started seeing bumper stickers in Denton County (boy, if there's an old hold out to the Good Old Days, it's Denton County) that read: "My Governor is a Cigar-Smokin' Jew."

He's got a decent chance if he can get a bit more press. Folks here are getting sick of the old regime, slowly but surely.

I laughed out loud at the brains bit. Another good one for you: Chrissy used to run the trail rides at Jackson Lake Lodge a while back, and they kept some Clydesdales for the larger folks that would have broken the Quarterhorse's backs. She was exercising them in the arena one afternoon, and two blue-hairs strolled up to the fence admiring them.

She decided to give them a thrill and run them along the fence-line so they could get a better look. As they passed, she heard one woman say to the other, "Aren't those bison so majestic?" Ahahaha!! City folks.
solipsiae
May. 12th, 2006 10:36 am (UTC)
I wake up with NPR so I was bleary-brained when I heard it, but what I heard is Strayhorn got 2x the amt. Kinky did. :(
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 11:08 am (UTC)
Strayhorn got something like 246K, and he got 169K. They asked him how he felt about it, and he laughed and said it didn't bother him much because he knew she got all her ex-husbands to sign. HAHAHAHA!!!

(Hi, Angie!!!)
solipsiae
May. 12th, 2006 11:57 am (UTC)
Oh SNIZZLE, Kinky!

(HI [again]!)
_tayler
May. 12th, 2006 01:14 pm (UTC)
I saw Kinky on CNN not too long ago and what a character!
He looks like the love child of Chris Cooper and Mickey Rourke with that kinda no bullshit attitude I really love.
I'll make up an icon for you sweetie.
:)
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 01:38 pm (UTC)
Isn't he fantastic?? (Oh, JOY! If it's a hardship, though, don't sweat it. Although anything YOU make? It will be a prize beyond measure. *beams*)

The best thing about Kinky, aside from his name, is how on the surface he looks like he'd be a side show, but when you LISTEN to him, dammit if he don't make sense. :D
_tayler
May. 12th, 2006 01:42 pm (UTC)
The best thing about Kinky, aside from his name, is how on the surface he looks like he'd be a side show

Oh exactly...when they introduced him with a brief bio...I thought just that!
And was nicely surprised.
*kisses*
_tayler
May. 12th, 2006 01:39 pm (UTC)
Here you go Hon...
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
:)
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 01:39 pm (UTC)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!!!
_tayler
May. 12th, 2006 01:43 pm (UTC)
Enjoy them darlin'!
:)
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 01:52 pm (UTC)
WOOT! *points to new default icon*

AWESOME. *huge hugs*
spuffyduds
May. 12th, 2006 01:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, I love Kinky! And I think he may be, in some weird way, scandal-proof. 'Cause anything that gets dug up, he'll just say, "Hell, yeah, I did! And it was FUN!"

Singing: "Plots and sex scandals failed outright/ Kinky merely said, "Any kind of love is all right..."
stoney321
May. 12th, 2006 01:39 pm (UTC)
Ooh, pretty icon! So summery in color.

Isn't that the truth? He'd laugh, and add TO the story, you know? Love it.

*strums a guitar - pronounced: "git-tahr"*
( 34 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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