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Things I've read on the intarwebs lately

WOW.

First off, I would like to say that I found AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE SLASH. Ahahaha!! "Meatwad blinked as Frylock caressed him with two fries, a third became harder." TEARS. So, so wrong. Now, on with the Exploits in Bad Language Use...

  • aggressive nipples Now, I think we all have known a set of nipples that just won't take "no" for an answer.

  • my breast had turned into a purple canteloupe What's funny about this is that the author spent TWO PARAGRAPHS describing "her" darkening nipples. The were aggressively getting darker. RAWR.


This may be the best dialogue exhange ever:

"Are you going to rape me," she asked breathless from the kiss.
"Only if you make me force you."


********************************

Take it in. *wafts air to my face* Take it allllll in.

  • Hot Piss running down your Nut Sack I like how important some words are.

  • missionary stile sex which obviously is two Elders (LDS) getting in on with some pigs.

  • diddle me delicately DIDDLE. The sexiest word in the human language. "Boinked me bravely." "Creamed cunningly." There should be more alliteration in fanfic, people.

  • cleaning the sweat from off their brow, collectively-chaotically piled into the very small admittance room I am imagining the Flying Wandellas - glistening - and making those circus performer noises as the leap through a doorway into a small room into a large pile.

  • the walls were accented -- dare I say accessorized Oh, don't be coy. You dared.



And this may be the WEIRDEST THING I have ever read, and folks, that is saying a lot. I just... Nope, nothing can touch this.

...a rather tall, well-built figure clad in bandages except for the crotch area where a large blue rectangle was growing - and growing!

"Viagra! Viagra muchachas!"


****************************
NUMBER ONE. Muchachas = FEMALES. Why they need Viagra...
NUMBER TWO. The blue triangle grew until it burst forth and rained down tiny blue triangular pills like a gumball machine. A zombie crotch gumball-meds machine in fic makes PERFECT SENSE.

DOUBLE-YOU. TEA. EFF.

All I know is it would please me greatly if EVERYONE ON MY FLIST ended all comments, posts, etc. with: "Viagra! Viagra Muchachas!!"

I am STUMPED by that one. Absolutely stumped.

Don't you need a palate cleanser after that? Sure you do. Check out all of the fantastic fics in the lynnevitational ficathon. A few that just blew me away were:
A Connor/Dawn. Yeah, you heard that right. One of the better fanfics on the net, seriously. TRUST ME.
Angel study - Gen-fic. Wonderful.

I haven't read everything yet, but these were outstanding.

Comments

( 91 comments — Leave a comment )
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wickedgrdn
May. 25th, 2006 06:52 am (UTC)
Bad!fic. God, I love it. Viagra! Viagra Muchachas!
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 06:54 am (UTC)
VIAGRA!! AYIYIYIYI HAHA!! <-- sounds better if you can imagine me in a sombrero with a comically large guitar.
... - wickedgrdn - May. 25th, 2006 06:57 am (UTC) - Expand
psychoadept
May. 25th, 2006 06:53 am (UTC)
Viagra! Viagra Muchachas!

Happy to oblige...
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 06:55 am (UTC)
HEEEEEEEE!!! Dude, that needs to be an icon with that stock pic of Giles in the sombrero with a bowl of Halloween candy!!!
... - psychoadept - May. 25th, 2006 06:56 am (UTC) - Expand
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 06:58 am (UTC)
VIAGRA! VIAGRA MUCHACHAS!!

Look up and see the icon I want someone to make for me. I'm shameless.

WHAT THE HELL, SUE?!?! *cracks up* There will be Meatwad smut later, promise.
... - entrenous88 - May. 25th, 2006 08:51 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - May. 25th, 2006 09:33 am (UTC) - Expand
floweringjudas
May. 25th, 2006 06:59 am (UTC)
missionary stile sex which obviously is two Elders (LDS) getting in on with some pigs.


*shoots that plotbunny*

*shoots it in the HEAD*


*...REPEATEDLY*
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 07:00 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHA!!! You know that was SPECIFICALLY for you, yes? WHAT THE HELL?

Viagra! Viagra, muchachas!
... - floweringjudas - May. 25th, 2006 07:03 am (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - May. 25th, 2006 07:10 am (UTC) - Expand
wolfshark
May. 25th, 2006 07:00 am (UTC)
*dies laughing*

Oh, I love you so for these!
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 07:02 am (UTC)
OH. MY. GOD.

*attacks villains with aggressive nipples* I can't control them. I just try and keep the hand guns out of their reach.
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ladycat777
May. 25th, 2006 07:25 am (UTC)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Slash.

*cries and cries and cries because now I have to READ IT*

You are evil, miss stoney, and I love you for that :)
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 07:42 am (UTC)
No, but see... It's meant as a joke, so it's OKAY. If it was serious? (Like the Thundercats fic I read this morning - SHUT IT.) That would have been enough to make the baby Satan cry.

Outer Meat Shell. That's a phrase used.
cherusha
May. 25th, 2006 07:31 am (UTC)
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 07:44 am (UTC)
I forgot about that comm!!! *adds*

VAGARY. That word... I do not think it means what you think it means.

*slices and feeds you. SLOWLY.*
... - cherusha - May. 25th, 2006 07:57 am (UTC) - Expand
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 07:45 am (UTC)
Hahahaha!! I got the SAME THOUGHT. Probably something involving smoke and rolling papers.

Duuuuude! *inhales*
*holds*
*holds*
*holds*
*exhaaaaaaaaales*

So there's this mummy, right? And he has a blue triangle crotch, yeah? *giggles*
fishsanwitt
May. 25th, 2006 07:54 am (UTC)
I read the Connor/Dawn fic - it was *awesome*. Thank you for the link :)

stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 08:00 am (UTC)
Yes, yes! Good Connor is SO hard to find, good Dawn, too. Put them together in an excellent story that rings true, even though it's post "Chosen?" Outstanding.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 08:22 am (UTC)
I find these through dilligent searches to spare the rest of you from stumbling across them...

Viagra Muchachas!!
julia_here
May. 25th, 2006 08:45 am (UTC)
Oy.

I'm still boggling over "vagary" which I can only understand by assuming that it's a combination of spellcheck and no editorial skills at all.


Julia, my daughter's superpower is to grow hair which is simultaneously slippery and sticky. I had to braid it this morning.

stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 09:36 am (UTC)
VAGARY. Sometimes you have to go BEYOND spellcheck, people.
entrenous88
May. 25th, 2006 08:53 am (UTC)
Heeeee! Diddled. It's just so classy!
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 09:34 am (UTC)
DIDDLED. Delicately.

I love 13 year old Finnish boys with translation software. *dreamy*
lynnenne
May. 25th, 2006 08:56 am (UTC)
Good god, I DIE from the badness. And the hilarity! I flash Eliza's aggressive nipples in your general direction.

P.S. Thanks for the pimp! :)
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 09:35 am (UTC)
Now THOSE are some aggressive nipples I can get behind! Er.. something. :D

*smoooooch*
screaming_mimie
May. 25th, 2006 09:13 am (UTC)
*is very glad her fanfic is from a fandom no one pays attention to*

This right here is proof god doesn't exist.
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 09:35 am (UTC)
Okay, this was THUNDERCATS fandom. So BE AWARE. (And Harry Potter.)

And yes. There is no God, Virginia. :D
... - screaming_mimie - May. 25th, 2006 09:38 am (UTC) - Expand
lettered
May. 25th, 2006 09:40 am (UTC)
I don't know why, but "aggressive nipples" got to me the most.

I've only read 2 fics from the Lynnevitational so far, but I'm very much looking forward to reading yours! Along with 3 other fics of yours I've been saving up to read. I'm behind!
stoney321
May. 25th, 2006 11:24 am (UTC)
I have never, not even when I was "budding" and hated my body, thought of my nipples as AGGRESSIVE.

Such active violence for sacks of glands. (Oooh! I know the one, but I don't know the other two... Wait - don't tell me. It'll be fun getting random fb on fic some day. Yay!)
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( 91 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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