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Gud Summries ficathon entry: Haiku

Heads up: today is going to be a bit spammy from me. I have fic to post and the master list for the Gud Summries Ficafunathingathon, so it may seem like I'm making up for lost time. Which I am. :)

First entry (I somehow managed to sign up for TWO fics, both of which I forgot about until yesterday, whoops!) is from the prompt: "Buffy goes to fat camp." I offer my submission in the form of haiku.



Buffy Goes To Fat Camp: Haiku

Season one thigh-highs
Accentuate doughy knees
Long pants hide cankles*


Pancakes - pizza - pop
Indian soap operas
Need to kill more vamps


Xander and Willow
Sneaking Summers' snacks at night
Joyce thinks, "Where's the food?"


Steadfast counselor
Searches through pillowcase
Chocolate treasure


Push-ups and pull-ups
The Slayer will not tire
Other campers plot


Lunch lady Doris
Bribes grease hands- she greases food
Buffy's ribs vanish


Cakes, pies and doughnuts
Not only booty at camp
Buffy's heinie spreads


Demons hear of this
Corpulent, lazy slayer
Time to take over



(Okay, I swear the second entry is actually good.) * cankles = calf-sized ankles

Comments

( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
entrenous88
Jul. 4th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)
...

Heee!

This is bizarre. Which means it worked! Poor Buffy. I particularly liked the use of the word "heinie". :(|)
stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 01:38 pm (UTC)
hahaha!! And look! You're using the Indian Soap Opera icon!

(There's only one or two up there that really work, but dammit, I've never backed out of a ficathon yet! The other prompt made me SO HAPPY, I can't wait to get it up and cackle.)

MONKEY! Heart. Hearting you! :* and >:>
elisi
Jul. 4th, 2006 01:37 pm (UTC)
The concept of this is just fabulous! And the execution is... words fail and break as I try to think of anything fitting.

*applauds your brain*
stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 01:39 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Oh, man, come on. Although, I like the "chocolate treasure" haiku. Heeee!! *squish to you!*

Just hang on for my Spuffy/anti-Spuffy/Bangel/cowgirl/revenge fic coming up!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 01:44 pm (UTC)
Heh. And off topic, but I LOVE your Brave Little Toaster icon.

(I'm going for a jog, hit me with an email or the masterlist - going up when I get back - with your link, okay? Just the raw link.)

YAY!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 02:33 pm (UTC)
Derrr... Sorry! Here I am assuming you knew it. Anytime you need me, email my [username]@livejournal.com.

Second: yay for the link! Post going up in a few minutes, and I'll hightail it to your fic, hurray!
cherusha
Jul. 4th, 2006 02:14 pm (UTC)
You had me at "Indian soap operas".

I now feel like I have not experienced one of Earth's most colorful joys.
stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 02:35 pm (UTC)
Yes, all should experience the glory that is Bollywood. FOr truly, it is as wonderous as a peacock.

(dude, running around like a chicken with its head cut off - will get to everything eventually, I swear!!)
cherusha
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:13 pm (UTC)
*grabs thread and needle*

No worries, heart! Man, I thought July 4th was gonna be a day of relaxation due to everything being closed? NOPE. It's a day off to get everything done that you don't normally have time to get done. *dashes off also*
semby
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:03 pm (UTC)
Hee! I kinda love you right now. Haiku was the perfect choice of formats for this.
stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:19 pm (UTC)
Heeee! I mean, BUFFY. In FAT CAMP? Were there some lost episodes I'm not aware of?
moosesal
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
I can't believe you used "cankles" in a haiku and then felt the need to define it at the bottom of the page. You're adorable.
stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:19 pm (UTC)
I'm just bold as brass, aren't I? Or possibly just barely functionally literate, I can never tell.

I hope you know these haikus were written with only you as my audience in mind, right? It's up to you whether to be afraid or pleased. ;D
moosesal
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:21 pm (UTC)
LOL. Only me, huh?

your cankles impress
beyond my wildest dreams and
I want to be you
stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:29 pm (UTC)
Bwah!

Colorado nights
Enter Texas dreams. Long for
Wrtercon bar
moosesal
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:38 pm (UTC)
tequila and lime,
hot mexican night, salt in
all the right places
julia_here
Jul. 4th, 2006 06:07 pm (UTC)
This goes a very long way indeed to make me feel less crappy this morning, although I'm still not quite up to listening to the food processor make almond custard.

Julia, even I don't have cankles. I think they're genetic
stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 08:23 pm (UTC)
Heh, glad I could get you to giggle a little bit.

Almond custard? That's it. I'm coming over.
a2zmom
Jul. 4th, 2006 09:56 pm (UTC)
Spike has second thoughts
There's too much Buffy to love
Falls for scrawny Fred.

You are a mad genius.

I posted June garden pics


stoney321
Jul. 4th, 2006 11:53 pm (UTC)
Hey cookie! And heeeeeee! haikus are incredibly addictive, imo.

New garden pics? *cries* I haven't been able to water since June 1, and we've had .25 inches of rain ALL MONTH. Oh, agony.

*can't help it, follows the link for the pretty*
maevebran
Jul. 5th, 2006 02:48 am (UTC)
Oh dear lord. That was way too funny. You had both me and the husband rolling with laughter.
stoney321
Jul. 5th, 2006 12:37 pm (UTC)
Hooray! That's the best kind of feedback - I love making people laugh.

*grin*
makd
Jul. 5th, 2006 04:47 am (UTC)
delicious! Mind if I rec?
stoney321
Jul. 5th, 2006 12:38 pm (UTC)
Heh - sure, sure! Feel free. (This is a part of a ficathon, the next entry is the masterlist. Some great stories in there, if you're looking for reading material!)
cordelianne
Jul. 5th, 2006 05:37 am (UTC)
heeeee! Loved the use of haiku for this prompt! Very absurd and amusing. This made me LOL because of what Joyce thinks:

Xander and Willow
Sneaking Summers' snacks at night
Joyce thinks, "Where's the food?"

stoney321
Jul. 5th, 2006 12:39 pm (UTC)
Heh - I watched some S2 last night, and the ep (der kinderschtdadt?) where the Scoobies are on Buffy's bed and making her get food for them, and Xander knows where she's hiding the cheesy chips?

Heeeeee!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jul. 5th, 2006 06:28 pm (UTC)
How did I miss replying to this??

And I KNOW about snacks!! I recently discovered the kids were feeding the neighborhood (not that any of the family reciprocate, ahem) so I put the kibbosh on that.

Pool day! Have a great time! *puts zinc oxide on your nose*
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jul. 5th, 2006 06:53 pm (UTC)
I wonder if they sent Buffy there to whip folks into shape? Or maybe the camp was some kind of play on the demon world in "Anne?"

Or PERHAPS NICOLE RITCHIE WRITES FANFIC.

♥ U
( 30 comments — Leave a comment )

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