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Is there anything sadder than a clown?

Maybe a thread-bare clown (not on purpose threadbare, you know, not STAGE threadbare) with bad makeup (like, it's just makeup? Not "clown" makeup"?) and they're surly, but not in an amusing way and just wandering the streets with a half-empty bottle of seltzer that lost its fizz? And no pie.

That, my friends, is a sad clown.

I am so completely fuggin' bored. I have no energy to do ANYTHING. I hauled and spread over a half-ton of compost (homophobic free compost!) yesterday, and went on my jog late today so the heat - she kilt me ded. I was grumpy from an argument with Mr. S last night (we NEVER fight. We disagree, but we never FIGHT, argh.) and didn't sleep well and I want to do a million things but I don't want to do ANY of them. I want instant gratification in the form of chocolate, margaritas (good ones, not the crap ones last night, bleh - and honestly: how does a bartender in Texas not know how to make a margarita that doesn't taste like mix? I mean, COME ON.) a movie or a roller coaster. Like, it would be awesome if there was a roller coaster that showed up at my front door, so I could take three steps and ENJOY. Because that, ladies and gentlemen, is how friggin' lazy I am today.

Dream coasters. And now, I am sadder than that clown. The one with no pie, and no meaning. Also, clowns suck.

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
fiveandfour
Aug. 13th, 2006 06:06 pm (UTC)
Is there anything sadder than a clown? One word: mime.

I'm with you on the wanting to be entertained but at no cost to myself front: I keep waiting for the Internet to start up a soft shoe routine, but not a lame one - I want a good one, that includes sparklers and maybe even a little show smoke. But so far all it's giving me is a lame magic show that a 4-year old would see through.

Wake up people! Don't you know you're supposed to be amusing me?
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2006 06:12 pm (UTC)
But is the mime in regular clothes and muttering? Because THEN he'd be sadder than the clown with no pie. Or seltzer. Or proper clown clothes.

The internet did give unto me Mahjongg, which is pleasing, but frustrating all the same. I want my smell-o-vision! Or maybe I don't...

I'm so damn tired today, I couldn't manage chopsticks for my Pad Thai, so I hollered at Mr. S to bring me a fork, because I couldn't get it myself. I AM PATHETIC. Look away... *cries*
fiveandfour
Aug. 13th, 2006 08:48 pm (UTC)
But is the mime in regular clothes and muttering? Because THEN he'd be sadder than the clown with no pie.

I envision said mime in the prototypical outfit of stripes and beret and it seems to me that that is just about the saddest thing ever - voluntarily donning those clothes, then checking oneself out in the mirror and doing the internationally recognized mime gesture for "Dayum! I look good!" before hitting the streets.

Also, it now occurs to me to wonder: if a mime says a word while alone in a forest, is he still a mime?
demonqueen666
Aug. 14th, 2006 01:59 am (UTC)
And if a tree falls in a forest and nobody's around, and it hits a mime, does anybody care?
julia_here
Aug. 13th, 2006 06:09 pm (UTC)
I get to do NOTHING today, and I'm damned glad of it. Yesterday I had to mau-mau the corresidents into getting the house clean for company, and then moderate/cook for a party which started at noon with the near simultaneous arrival of four geeky guys of two generations and then shuffled through various configurations until it broke up, at midnight, with two twenty-year-old geeky but cute boys, five post-highschool girls, and a sixteen year old mutant little brother roasting marshmallows and telling fortunes by candlelight on the lawn.

Also? next time I make a leg-of-lamb into shish kabob, I'm planning on getting a bone-in one, as the boned sort have had their anatomy interfered with to a degree which makes them impossible to dismantle properly.

Julia, still, it was easier than the time I made omelets for everyone at a brunch.
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2006 06:14 pm (UTC)
I'm worn out from that first paragraph, and I didn't even HAVE the party, I can only imagine how blasted you must feel.

I cheated and got the kids pizza last night. And paid the babysitter extra to clean it all up afterwards. SCORE.

I have to move the same amount of compost next weekend, as well, and am tired just thinking about it. I really should just be put down, as I am DISGUSTING when I'm whiney.
julia_here
Aug. 13th, 2006 07:19 pm (UTC)
I have the next seven days to get Anna packed and ready to transport to UM, as we're leaving early the morning of the 21st.

Starting with the house cleaned for a party is a real advantage to that process.

Julia, also need to make sure everything is SOAKED, as my preferred house sitter is going to Oregon for a compost conference that week and we're getting her computer-geek fiance instead.
(Deleted comment)
screaming_mimie
Aug. 13th, 2006 06:33 pm (UTC)
hehe
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2006 06:39 pm (UTC)
EMAILED.

Also, just spilled coke all down my bewbs. Because I am GOOD. OOOH!!! I haven't watched your clip, yet, DOOD! I'm off to preen at your skilz, yo!
trepkos
Aug. 13th, 2006 07:23 pm (UTC)
Never let the sun go down on your wrath.
Hope you fixed it.
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2006 07:28 pm (UTC)
Mr. S and I? Oh, sure. He was SO CLEARLY in the wrong on this one, that as soon as he calmed down, he was properly shame-faced. :)

*cracks whip* Heh. (Oh, and he's a good guy. He can admit when he's in the wrong - it's one of those things that makes our marriage work - we both can admit to mistakes and move on.)
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2006 09:08 pm (UTC)
BEEP BEEP!! *honks bear cub's nose*

BABY BEAR!! (And I am SO glad to hear you didn't get out and stand in the middle of the road to snap that picture. Do I need to remind you of my Stupid People Stories from my days in the Grand Tetons? Hee!) I bet the boys were SO HAPPY to see animals! Have you posted? I'll check it out.

I read for a bit, so I'm feeling more peppy now, yay!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
Isn't that a GREAT book?? And really, I think I enjoyed Kavalier's tales better than Clay's. Josef's just seem to have more weight - maybe I need to re-read it again? Or maybe the author felt more comfortable with Josef's arc, and there's just more - I think that's probably what it is.

I can't wait to hear about your trip, see pics, and hear your thoughts on the book, YAY!! (Right now I'm reading The Meaning of Everything, which is about the creation of the OED and it's amazingly interesting. BFF saw the author in a lecture series in Ann Arbor, and said it was absolutely fascinating, and she sent the book along. Good stuff, and I'm only in the first chapter!

*massive, bone creaking hugs!!*
(Deleted comment)
hellziggy
Aug. 14th, 2006 02:07 am (UTC)
Your Stupid People Stories are the BEST. THING. EVAH. because they were what led me to your twisted little mind the first time and you are now one of my favorite LJ people to read!

And energy? What is that? I have none!
entrenous88
Aug. 13th, 2006 07:49 pm (UTC)
Bad margaritas? This must not be! Sorry for the badness with arguments, and I hope everything is a-ok now. *hugs*
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2006 09:10 pm (UTC)
SERIOUSLY. Bad 'ritas. I almost dug out my Bible to check and see if it was one of the official signs of the world ending, because WHAT? (I love that icon of yours, btw. Heh.)

All is well now, yes indeedy! I had to buy the last of the school supplies - plastic folders with pockets and brads were the HOLY GRAIL this year. I also have chocolate chip cookies, so I can't complain any more. I mean, I could, but that would just be pushing it. haha.
lynnenne
Aug. 13th, 2006 08:32 pm (UTC)
*hugs you*

*pets you*

*gives you roller coasters*
stoney321
Aug. 15th, 2006 03:17 am (UTC)
Whoa! Holy late reply, LJ! (I just got this, by the way. Boo, LJ. Boo.)

Also: just sent you the final bit to that thing. [/cryptic]
violethamster
Aug. 13th, 2006 11:29 pm (UTC)
I'd mail you a margarita, but I suspect the package would get leaky.

Years ago I had a temp job in an office where there was a guy who would bring in his sad clown paintings and lean them against the wall in his cubicle. I was kind of relieved when that job ended, because you know it was only a matter of time before coworkers started to disappear and he'd come in wearing their skin.
stoney321
Aug. 13th, 2006 11:38 pm (UTC)
I mean seriously: WHO LIKES CLOWNS?? I know of NO ONE.

The benefit of wearing your co-workers skin is how many practical jokes you could pull while impersonating them. Plus, all that blood dripping on the carpet? You could change out housekeeping's cleanser for water and I think you'll all get a good laugh when you stop to think about the fun.

Or when they're hauling you into the police car. Something like that.
hellziggy
Aug. 14th, 2006 02:04 am (UTC)
I mean seriously: WHO LIKES CLOWNS?? I know of NO ONE.

My icon says it all...
demonqueen666
Aug. 14th, 2006 02:02 am (UTC)
...I went to Ceder Point this weekend.

Does it make it better or worse for you if I say my throat is still sore from coaster screaming?
globalfruitbat
Aug. 14th, 2006 05:52 am (UTC)
Ok, so I'm trying to find Bad!Buffy!fic for my room-mates -- the ones where Buffy denies ever having had good sex prior to SPIKEOMG and whilst bopping around Fanficiton.net, I came across something I had to share with you: Insanity, a Willow/Tara fic with the following summary: This is an insane world... and maybe... just maybe... insanity is the only way to go.

Enjoy!
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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