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Link, and My Mayor

First, the glory that is Steve Carrell and Stephen Colbert from an old The Daily Show clip, Even Steph(v)ens.
And if you want the soundtrack to Little Miss Sunshine, grab it while it's available. (Thanks again, A for sharing it with me in the first place!)

Second, because I upped my mileage today and I'm probably not going to physically be able to move from this chair for a while, here's one of those "My _____" things.


My Mayor Richard Wilkins the Third


  • Met Edna Mae at a county fair where they both tasted lemonade for the first time. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

  • It was love at first sight.

  • when they realized that having children weren't in the cards for them - and he went to several readers. They literally weren't in the cards for them - tried to change his pending immortality for a family.

  • The sorcerer kindly didn't kill him for that request.

  • And Richard sent him a fruit basket in thanks every year after.

  • told his wife that a tonic he took every morning was the reason behind his "forever young" appearance.

  • hated lying to her.

  • held her hand while she died.

  • told her she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

  • It was the last time he would let himself cry.

  • years later had the movie quote "I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me" inscribed on her tombstone.

  • agrees that the golf course is the best place to do business.

  • Except with vampires, because night golf is just hard on the eyes.

  • really admires Tiger Woods' dedication and devotion to his father.

  • But mostly it's that back swing. Gosh! Just perfect, every time.

  • really loves a parade.

  • saves lemonade for special occasions.

  • always has a meat, two veg, and a starch for dinner.

  • And a tall glass of milk.

  • sent Allan Finch to Costco bi-monthly to buy a gross of Wet-Naps.

  • says the alphabet while he washes his hands to make sure he cleans them thoroughly.

  • believes dodgeball to be the perfect game that illustrates life.

  • started watching that movie until the team came out in S&M outfits because honestly! Did they need to go there? Up until then it was good clean fun.

  • buys the sanitized versions of blockbuster movies from that outfit in Utah.

  • With the exception of his director's cut of The Godfather, because that's just good storytelling.

  • mouths "take the cannolis" along with Clemenza.

  • "tsks" every time he says it, because he knows it's grammatically incorrect.

  • And would it have hurt anyone to know how to properly pluralize a word?

  • wished people focused more on the three R's in school like they used to when he was a boy.

  • has meatloaf every Thursday with mashed potatoes, carrot dimes, and peas. And apple pie for dessert.

  • recycles.

  • loves judging the Pinewood derby every year and feels a twinge at not having a son to compete.

  • loves to unwind with some Sousa marches.

  • also plays Sousa during staff meetings to pump up his employees.

  • likes business casual - he wore a tie every day for 92 years, after all.

  • thinks Mr. Trick is fun, but wishes he'd wear a muted-colored suit every now and then.

  • appreciates the work ethic of Allan Finch, but doesn't like him very much.

  • I mean, there's loyalty, and then there's being a boot lick.

  • Which is why Snyder irritates him.

  • has never used a computer, and doesn't plan on changing that.

  • Mostly because he won't have hands soon.

  • Or people to use them.

  • thought he was going to be killed when he opened the door and saw Faith standing there.

  • she had shiny hair just like his Edna Mae.

  • marvels that this broken kid is his most trusted employee.

  • never EVER thinks of her as just an employee.

  • was positively horrified when she called him Sugar Daddy.

  • sat in his leather office chair for two hours thinking about what must have happened to her to make her not recognize the difference between that and a daddy.

  • wishes she wouldn't swear so much.

  • And would it kill her to sit up straight? Posture is the key to good health.

  • thinks Faith looks like a natural putter, but ran out of time before he was able to take her to the club.

  • knows Buffy is the better slayer, which upsets him more than he can say.

  • because above all else, Richard believes in loyalty.

  • which is why he will kill Buffy first.

  • ...or maybe let his Faithy do it. Heck, she's great at killing, the little sweetheart.

  • ...maybe he'll just knock Buffy around some. He wouldn't want Faith to not have the advantage, nosirree.

  • has penciled into his calendar for the day before his Ascension to be sure and cancel his subscription to Reader's Digest.

  • has had that subscription for over 75 years.

  • is going to miss reading "Family Circus" once he becomes a pure demon.

  • hopes slaughtering everything in sight will take the edge off of that.

  • admires Mr. Giles, but wished he was just a bit more evil so they could have been cronies.

  • didn't know about "Ripper."

  • wouldn't have liked him if he did know, because gosh darn it, Ripper had no goals.

  • And you didn't get to be over 100 years old and the politician with the longest term in history without having a few goals.

  • You kids would do well to heed that advice, even though you'll think it's "square.".

  • couldn't sleep that first night that "Angelus" took his little girl out for a night of killing.

  • not that he thought Angelus would hurt his Faith, it was the "other stuff."

  • Because kids today don't have the same respect for their bodies that Richard's generation did.

  • was bothered by Faith's lack of self-esteem.

  • Sure she talked big, but he could see his little girl's hurt buried inside, and that upset him more than he liked.

  • practically glowed any time he could get her to smile and laugh.

  • touched Faith for the first time when she was lying in that hospital bed.

  • She really did have hair just like his Edna Mae.

  • completely forgot about the Ascension as he pinched Buffy's nose shut and felt her teeth against the palm of his hand.

  • knows to have a contingency plan, so makes arrangements for Faith to get what she's always wanted.

  • It makes him sad to know what she really wants, because he thinks blondes look cheap.

  • went straight to his office to make a video for Faith, in case she woke up.

  • It took two takes.

  • The first was him staring into space.

  • tries to get a good night's sleep before his Big Day, because he believes fervently in Ben Franklin's adages.

  • ate a light breakfast the morning of Graduation, as he was obviously planning on having a large dinner.

  • spent an hour going over his note cards, making adjustments, because kids today really should know that it's "cool" to be civicly-minded.

  • spots Buffy looking right at him in her chair.

  • wants to eat her first.

  • except Snyder's there, so...

  • ...he tastes like weasel.

  • in the flash before the bombs exploded in the school library - which, did they have to destroy the whole school? That was built on taxpayer's money. Well, some shady deals, too, but mostly taxpayer's money - he had a moment of regret because he couldn't kill Buffy for his Faith.

  • but maybe he'd get to see his Edna Mae again.


Comments

( 134 comments — Leave a comment )
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a2zmom
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:13 pm (UTC)
I completely love you.

really admires Tiger Woods' dedication and devotion to his father.

but mostly it's that back swing. Gosh! Just perfect, every time.


Yes!
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:18 pm (UTC)
I need a Mayor icon, dammit.
HEEEE!!!

It should come as no surprise that Mayor Richard Wilkins the Third is my most favorite villain EVER.

And seriously - the kid is amazing. I wouldn't be surprised if Tiger made a deal with the same sorcerer Richard did. ;)
julia_here
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:19 pm (UTC)
I bow before you great mistress of the quirky, and hope when (if) my brain grows back in it will be just like yours.

Julia, needing to have a long talk with my doc about having perfect BP vs being hit by a bus
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:32 pm (UTC)
Haha! Oh, Harry Groener. How I loved his characterization so...

*votes for high blood pressure over the bus, personally*
entrenous88
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:23 pm (UTC)
This is fabulous.

I seriously adore Mayor Wilkins's fatherly relationship with Faith, twisted as it is.

Heck, she's great at killing, the little sweetheart.
Awww! And..hmmm. And...Awww!

What kind of pie is Mayor Wilkins's fave? Apple? Or does he like another more?
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:34 pm (UTC)
Man, their relationship was WONDERFUL. Really one of the best daddy/daughter relationships on television, period.

You know, he's a nationalist. A patriot. So he's going to like apple pie, but only homemade. Cherry is a close runner up, but his mother made a rhubarb pie that would bring tears to your eyes. Never had another like it, bless her.
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southernbangel
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:25 pm (UTC)
Met Edna Mae at a county fair where they both tasted lemonade for the first time. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

It was love at first sight.

When they realized that having children weren't in the cards for them - and he went to several readers. They literally weren't in the cards for them - he tried to change his pending immortality for a family.

held her hand while she died.

told her she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

It was the last time he would let himself cry.

Had the movie quote "I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me" inscribed on her tombstone.


Dude, this has me crying. CRYING. *shakes fist*

I love your Mayor. And you. *smooches*
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:36 pm (UTC)
DITTO!!!

(Um, the loving you part. Hee!)

And man, there really wasn't a wasted moment with that man on screen. I love love LOVE the Mayor, in case that wasn't clear. :D When he's really REALLY trying to give Buffy and Angel advice? And he's talking heartfelt about his Edna Mae?

Damn, I love Richard Wilkins. Even though he was evil.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:36 pm (UTC)
Ha, I know! I love that he didn't swear even to the end. Man, I love that character SO MUCH.
fotada
Sep. 6th, 2006 04:59 pm (UTC)
started watching that movie until the team came out in S&M outfits because honestly! Did they need to go there? Up until then it was good clean fun.

I right there with you, Richard. There's a line, and that line was crossed.

:)

Referred here by Julia. It's perfect!
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:04 pm (UTC)
Heh - that's Richard. Clean inside and out. Good thing he got rid of that pesky soul - that was collecting some muck, I tell you. :)

Thanks for commenting! *sends Julia a pie*
lettered
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:00 pm (UTC)
This is one of the best...one of these things I have ever read. I love the Sousa marches. I love this one:

sat in his leather office chair for two hours thinking about what must have happened to her to make her not recognize the difference between that and a daddy.

because I'll be damned if he didn't. And all the ways he planned for his Ascension? And Edna Mae? You make me happy with the perfection, here.
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:03 pm (UTC)
I have to say, the My ___ things are fun. I liked doing Snyder, too. *loves the unsung pests*
*also, makes notes to do an Andrew one*

GOD DAMN, I miss my show. I think I'll be watching S3 today, yes indeedy.
hellziggy
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:10 pm (UTC)
This was fabulous! But I mostly just like the fact that you have a tag specifically for meeeeeeeeeeee!
I taste like weasel? Or is that just male Snyders?
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:13 pm (UTC)
Hey, I just checked my old email account and found music from you! Thank you for all of that, btw!!
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:15 pm (UTC)
Heeeeee!! Well, heck, the way those high schoolers pack in the snacks and sodas, he'll have a high cholesterol meal. He couldn't get any intel on heart disease among demons, so he guesses they have different metabolisms.

But it doesn't hurt to be prepared. Stitch in time...

(And seriously: that moment he tries to kill Buffy? Check out his face! Excellent moment. He is just grief stricken and out for blood.) ♥ you.
thepiratequeen
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:16 pm (UTC)
That was awesome. One of my best friends just saw Harry Groener in Spamalot and called me shrieking like a fan girl.
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:18 pm (UTC)
Oh, cool!! I didn't realize he was in that! Good for him. I absolutely adored how he played The Mayor. (*cough* obviously. heh.)

*smooooch*
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lostakasha
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:19 pm (UTC)
You slay me. In every sense of that term.

Perfect characterization -- sending Finch to Costo?

I struggle to write one great line in every fic. Thank you for giving me 57 of them in one place. (I counted.)
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)
*pulls stake out, CRAP, I didn't mean to SLAY you!*
*will dump you in the river later, like Finch*
*and go work for Wilkins - he has dental!*

Aw, thanks, sweetheart! I love love love the Mayor.
willowgreen
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:21 pm (UTC)
All I can say is, Wow.

Now I'm going to have to make some Mayor icons!
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:29 pm (UTC)
Oooh, I'd LOVE to see your Mayor icons!!!!!!

(and thanks!)
sdwolfpup
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:25 pm (UTC)
Oh, this list is marvelous. Really marvelous.

And so was that link to the Even Steph(v)en thing! HEE.
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:30 pm (UTC)
Yay! And man, weren't they HILARIOUS?? I need to check out YouTube and see if there are any others available. That was always a funny sketch on TDS.
brandil
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:56 pm (UTC)
I'm sitting here covered in chill bumps with tears pricking at my eyes. You understand the Mayor so well, and have clearly articulated non-canonical reasons why he was the greatest Big Bad the Jossverse has ever EVER had.

I even have a mayorish icon, see?
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 06:54 pm (UTC)
Awwww!! Thanks, Brandi, and I COMPLETELY AGREE that he was the best Big Bad on BtVS or AtS, and maybe in TV history.

*loves your icon!!!*
midnightsjane
Sep. 6th, 2006 06:16 pm (UTC)
OMG, I got all teary eyed reading this.
The Mayor was the best big bad of the whole show, because he was the most complicated (even more so than Angelus)..a strange combination of down home values and evil overlordness.
He really did love his Edna Mae, and felt fatherly love for Faith.
Fabulous look at him, Stoney. (to use a golf analogy...a hole in one!)
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC)
(Hee! Glad I didn't birdie.) He really, really loved Faith. The daughter he never had.

Thanks, always good to find another Mayor lover!
cordelianne
Sep. 6th, 2006 06:17 pm (UTC)
Awesome!! You totally get Mayor Wilkins (who's my favourite villain)!! It's hard to pick out a favourite line because they're all so perfect. I think I'll go with these ones because I love the juxtaposition of him planning a large dinner (the kids) and then preparing a speech about being civicly-minded:

ate a light breakfast the morning of Graduation, as he was obviously planning on having a large dinner.

spent an hour going over his note cards, making adjustments, because kids today really should know that it's "cool" to be civicly-minded.
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 06:55 pm (UTC)
He's definitely my favorite villain, too. *g* Thanks for liking this little ditty. :)
ely_jan
Sep. 6th, 2006 07:01 pm (UTC)
You are a goddess. *bounces* Do it again! Do it again!
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 07:19 pm (UTC)
Heeee!! (omg, I want to do an Andrew one. I need to rewatch S7 to pick up the little deets.)

*smoooooooch*
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rahirah
Sep. 6th, 2006 07:19 pm (UTC)
That's just swell.
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
Gosh! Aren't you the cat's pajamas?

*g*
chantal87
Sep. 6th, 2006 07:34 pm (UTC)
Awwwwwww I really loved the Mayor before. But now, I think I may love him a little bit more.
You're Super!
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 08:53 pm (UTC)
I LOVE HIM. I'm totally re-watching S3 today. (Except for Project Runway hour)

He's some damn INTERESTING. And your Giles icon is totally turning me on, guh!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 08:52 pm (UTC)
I totally have a tissue rolled into a cone and shoved up my nose while reading this. Fangirl WHAT??? /dork

Damn, I loved that Fred mix. (and got a bad review from it initially! Waah.) And D'aw. I'm just a big nerd. There's cleverer people out there, but none that can fake being smart AND write Mayor/Snyder Mpreg and make it CANON, baby!

*saves pennies from sewing men's shirts to get address cards - they're all the fashion in Minnesota - and gives you one for a keepsake*
*it has a simple lavendar spray of flowers*
(Deleted comment)
lynnenne
Sep. 6th, 2006 09:08 pm (UTC)
I love you, and I love your Mayor. *smooch*
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 10:02 pm (UTC)
I love YOU!!!

*hugs so tiiiight!*

I had someone ask if I knew any good looking single women to hook up a "friend" with, thought of you (I mean, come on. You're STUNNING) and then saw the guy. NO. WAY. *think you are too precious*
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eccentricorbit
Sep. 6th, 2006 09:54 pm (UTC)
I love Stephen Colbert & the DS! I think that video summurizes my views on religion quite nicely.
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 10:02 pm (UTC)
ME. TOO. Those sketches were hilarious. (And yeah. Same here on religion.)
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wisdomeagle
Sep. 6th, 2006 09:58 pm (UTC)
Here from the Herald, and madly in awe.
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 10:03 pm (UTC)
*waves hello* Aw, thanks! Seriously: how awesome was The Mayor?
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 10:58 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHA. Yes, this is all about Annette Strauss. (She was EVIL.)

HI BETH. I'm going to make a bragging post tomorrow. All. About. You.
petzipellepingo
Sep. 6th, 2006 10:13 pm (UTC)
Well goodness, that's quite a neat list there missy. sent Allan Finch to Costco bi-monthly to buy a gross of Wet-Naps. Absolutely, because there's no reason to be extravagant with the taxpayer's money, is there?
except Snyder's there, so...
...he tastes like weasel.

Yeah, lickspittle most likely does...

stoney321
Sep. 6th, 2006 11:01 pm (UTC)
Sure, the townspeople pay for that yearly membership, but he isn't the sort that uses petty cash for personal items. The taxpayers pay for the "sanitary wipes" that are in City Hall's restrooms.

Hehehehehehhe. Oh, Snyder. I love him, too. (And your icon!! It's fabulous!!)
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( 134 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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