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Sorry for the spam, but HEEEEEE!

Probably only of interest to brandil and thebratqueen... So, I get a package today in the mail: my Caitlin books! They're used, so the first one has someone who practiced spelling "Caitlin Murphy" over and over on the inside flap. I can just see the 13 year old dreamily imagining that as the most perfect name ever. Heee!! "Cordelia with the alabaster brow..."


From the back cover:
CAITLIN WON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO LOVE HER
Caitlin. Beautiful. Dazzling. Charming. Rich. And very, very clever.
To everyone at her exclusive Virginia boarding school, she seems to have it all. But there is a secret need that haunts her life. A need for love. And only one boy can make her forget her unhappy home life, can fulfill her need for love: handsome, sensitive Jed Michaels. Jed, who has already given his heart to another girl.
But Caitlin is determined to win him for herself, one way or another. Then a tragedy occurs that has consequences that not even Caitlin can deal with...

Loving is the first in a series about the unforgettable, raven-haired beauty, Caitlin. There's never been a heroine like her.




Hahahaha! I love "raven-haired beauty" and "can fulfill her need for love."

From Book 1 (I got book 3 two weeks ago... I must read them in order! How will I ever UNDERSTAND THE PLOT, zomg??)



"Caitlin," Ginny told her, "Jed spent almost the whole night with Diana - either dancing or talking - and he didn't look as if he was suffering."

Caitlin laughed. "Ginny, you crack me up. You don't really expect me to believe Jed spent a whole night with a nothing like Diana?"

"You can believe what you want - but it's the truth."

Caitlin remained on the bed as Ginny took her nightgown and towel and left the room for her shower. Caitlin was furious with Jed. How could he have danced all those dances with Diana? Everyone in the school was probably already talking about it!

It was time for Caitlin to take some serious action!



Oh Em Gee, people!! Caitlin is going to pull out biochemical weapons of mass destruction! Or genetically clone an impostor to Diana and stab it, then hide the real Diana in a cave and tell her the world ended and it's ALL DIANA'S FAULT! Or stab her a billion times and dump her body - weighted with ceramic unicorns - into the Chesapeake Bay!

...or get revenge involving a horse. SOME HOW JED WILL BE HERS. All hers. Muah ah ah!

Comments

( 37 comments — Leave a comment )
brandil
Sep. 18th, 2006 09:42 pm (UTC)
SQUEE!!!
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2006 09:51 pm (UTC)
I KNOW!! They'll be winging their way to you when they're all read up! Which should take... like a day. :D
brandil
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:17 pm (UTC)
Can NOT wait. Do I need to send them on to thebratqueen?
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:21 pm (UTC)
I don't know, but I'll find out!

When you get a spare... Email me at stoney321 [at] livejournal.com your mailing address so's I can ship them bitches!
beanbeans
Sep. 18th, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC)
How is it fair that people get paid to write such things! Is there no justice in the world!?!? *is indignant and emo liek whoa*

*want to read them now* :P
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2006 09:52 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! I KNOW. But. This is Francine Pascal, of Sweet Valley High fame. She is so "prolific" that she has people write FOR HER. And she gets paid.

Judy Blume will always be Queen Bee of the tender aged YA books for me. Oooh, and the Ramona books!!

*squishes you* Hi!
beanbeans
Sep. 18th, 2006 09:57 pm (UTC)
OMG, I need a publishing gig like that. :P

Oh yeah- "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing". Heh- and later- "Wifey". *shifty eyes*

Hi! Sorry I've been so MIA- Pre and Post con craziness. I'm getting back into the swing again now though. *squishes back*
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:07 pm (UTC)
ME TOO.

And don't worry about being MIA! I read your reports with glee, and I know what it's like with kiddoes and things and school and on and on! *hugs*
beanbeans
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:19 pm (UTC)
:)
mrmonkeybottoms
Sep. 18th, 2006 09:55 pm (UTC)
You have to keep me updated on what happens in these books! I vaguely rememeber them...
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:08 pm (UTC)
I know - I spent the better part of an afternoon googling her name, trying to find the books. There's a horse accident, a wheelchair, a love gained and LOST, omg.

And someone's perfect 5 year old son that loves Caitlin? Ahahahaha! GENIUS.
going_not_gone
Sep. 18th, 2006 09:58 pm (UTC)
Attack of the MARYSUES!!! AIIEEEE!

Thud.

*is ded of the marysueness*
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:08 pm (UTC)
TRILOGY OF MARY SUES!!! Wheeeeee!
leila82
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
I never read the Caitlin books, but I just had to giggle at "Cordelia with the alabaster brow..."
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:14 pm (UTC)
Heeeee!! Oh, the Anne of Green Gables love. *talks to my personal Katie-in-the-glass*
leila82
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:44 pm (UTC)
Exactly! I loved their story writing club, with the tragic stories where everyone died horrible deaths. I started writing a few of those myself, when I was that age.
fiveandfour
Sep. 19th, 2006 02:34 am (UTC)
loved their story writing club, with the tragic stories where everyone died horrible deaths.

I did, too - so, so funny. But I always thought they were just a leetle bit weird for it anyway.
leila82
Sep. 19th, 2006 02:42 am (UTC)
Oh but it was all about the dra-mah, and also using really big words. Sometimes incorrectly.

Mine were worse, because I was going through my R. L. Stine/Christopher Pike stage, and so there were murders and ghosts involved...I was really morbid as a child.
leila82
Sep. 19th, 2006 02:45 am (UTC)
...wait a minute. You're saying these Caitlin books were from the same author as the Sweet Valley High series? I loved SVH!! I wanted to be Elizabeth, very very badly. I think I'm going to have to find these books on my next trip to the library, now.
thebratqueen
Sep. 18th, 2006 10:38 pm (UTC)
*makes sounds so high-pitched only dolphins can hear them*

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!! HOW SAD IS IT THAT I REMEMBERED JED AS SOON AS I READ HIS NAME????????

When does she turn evil? Has she turned evil yet?
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2006 11:05 pm (UTC)
<-- my icon for the porn I'm writing!!
*takes a deep breath and dives deep to avoid the dolphin attack*

OMG DIANA IS THE 'UGLY' ONE and the "fat girl" - we know this because she is CONSTANTLY REACHING INTO HER BAG FOR CHOCOLATE BARS - is Morgan. Nice and horsey. hahahahaha!!!

Okay, did you see that I'm sending these to Brandi and she wants to know if they're to carry on to you when she's done? You want?

Oh, and she STARTS OFF EVIL. She's Cordelia with a confident Willow roomie. It's a redemption tale! OF LOVE.
thebratqueen
Sep. 18th, 2006 11:12 pm (UTC)
Re: <-- my icon for the porn I'm writing!!
OMG YES BEST THING EVER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC)
JOYCAKES!

Email me your mailing address and we'll make sure you get it, SWEEEEET.
thebratqueen
Sep. 18th, 2006 11:29 pm (UTC)
WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 19th, 2006 12:21 am (UTC)
Lavaliers? Like a locket? *sings Daddy Warbucks' line from ConnieAnnie: The Musical*

They WOULD be written as 0s. Lilah would remain spoiled (but unloved by her reaching/wealthy father) with flashing green eyes to match her lime green Fiat. Hahahaha. I drove a beige Fiat the first half of my senior year. WHAT A PIECE OF JUNK.
lettered
Sep. 19th, 2006 03:09 am (UTC)
I ...this is...you have to keep posting about WHAT HAPPENS. Because, zomg, the genius of the plot. And characterizations. And gorgeous writing.
stoney321
Sep. 19th, 2006 03:32 am (UTC)
IT IS TAKING ALL OF MY STRENGTH TO NOT WRITE MOCKING COMMENTARY IN THE MARGINS!!!

Example: "Caitlin stood frozen to the spot for several minutes, seething as she listened to Jed's footsteps fading behind her. Her hands were clenched so tightly at her sides that her fingernails cut into her palms. This couldn't be happening to her! she thought. And all because of theat prissy nothing of a girl! She'd get Diana back for this. She'd have her revenge if it was the last thing she did!"

What I want to add: "A single reed instrument sounded in the background as her steely gaze focused high on the banyan tree overlooking the cliff. She felt her hatred focus into a ball of energy and in one swift kick, halved the tree with a high 'Kee-yah!'

'Well done, Grasshopper. Now. Finish her!'

Caitlin bowed to her master and moved swiftly to her battle horse. She would kill Diana and put her head on a pike and then Jed would be HERS."
lettered
Sep. 19th, 2006 12:51 pm (UTC)
babhahahahahahahahah! Your stories are so much better!

Oh, I love you so.

I just wrote fingernails cutting into palms and now it's making me itchy to change it.
stoney321
Sep. 19th, 2006 01:03 pm (UTC)
No, no, I'm sure yours is FINE. This is her anger over Jed loving a PLAIN GIRL with OUT OF DATE CLOTHES, omg. And she can't RIDE. Or play tennis!!!! Horrors.

(Oooh, is this the new fic you posted this morning? SWEEEET. I'll be there later today, yo.)
lettered
Sep. 19th, 2006 01:08 pm (UTC)
ZOMG I WANT YOU TO READ IT STONEY I WANT YOU TO.

But the nails aren't in this one they're in the next one. It's because Angel's thinking about his son and NO ONE CAN KNOW, LIKE, EVAH! It's CRACK. I've never been this in love with a story I wrote before, I don't think. And it's crack.

For reading today, Caitlin must talk like a pirate in your head. This is your assignment.

Dude, Diana can't even ride? I'm totally feeling Cait-ie-lie's pain. MY EYES PALMS, THEY BLEED.
stoney321
Sep. 19th, 2006 03:03 pm (UTC)
No, Diana can NOT ride, and don't even THINK Caitlin isn't going to use that knowledge to make her look dee you em, DUMB. But will it backfire? Oh god, will it?!??!?

I will read it!! Oh, your new story sounds RIGHT UP MY ALLEY, YES MA'AM. No one can know. Because they won't understand. But in the quiet hours when Angel has his hand over Connor's mouth to muffle his moans and he stops in mid thrust (with Connor pushing back to make him MOVE, dammit) because he thinks he hears the squeak of floorboards outside Connor's bedroom and he vamps out a little because his first instinct is Gunn or Wes is coming to fuck his boy, and he takes it out on Connor's ass (teeth on the tender flesh behind his boy's ear) and Connor has to bite his dad's hand to stifle the groan of pleasure - hard enough so blood is drawn on Angel's hand, which COnnor sucks dry, which makes Angel come so hard he pounds into his boy knocking him against the headboard...

I think I need a minute.
lettered
Sep. 19th, 2006 03:21 pm (UTC)
Dude, almost always, when I talk to you, I just want to fly, fly through the internet cable my pretty and HUG YOU SO HARD. Because I'm all hot and sweaty in the wrong places now but I am also laughing my ass off. HOW DO YOU DO BOTH?

But anyway it's not incest. It's . . . it's gen. I KNOW.
stoney321
Sep. 19th, 2006 03:28 pm (UTC)
It ISN'T incest!!

1) they aren't human
2) fucking family is what vampires are all about. ALL. ABOUT.
3) it's not really porn (it so it) it's CHARACTER STUDY
all of which 4) make it gen

I could diagram that into a mathematical equation if you need one...

(And heeee! COME TO ME, my precious. HOLY FUCK I need to write some porn!) *makes plans for today to do JUST THAT*
lettered
Sep. 19th, 2006 04:47 pm (UTC)
So . . . you're saying Angel/Connor = gen? I . . . think I do need the diagram for that.

But anyway, dude, I totally have A/C porn gen bunnies in my head. Well, there's this one, which I've half written, which actually IS incesty porn AND gen because on the surface it is so genny, but on the gooey inside it's porny. And then there's one that really is just porn. So, you know, you don't have to worry about turning me to the dark side. I'm so there.

ZOMG I want to read your porn! Go write, you.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 19th, 2006 02:58 pm (UTC)
Heeeeeee!!! I will provide more snippets momentarily! Just back from my walk, finding good mocking bits (did you see the continuation above with TKP? Heh.) and will keep you all SATISFIED WITH THE GLORY OF THE TALE. Heh.

OMG, JED! She is gonna GET YOU.
( 37 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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