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Spam, I know, I know but OH MY GOD!!!

This is so not work safe. It's just... it's not HUMAN SAFE.



I like tattoos. Good tattoos. Some tattoos turn me right the hell on. Heck, I have a tattoo. Some are lame. Some are poorly done. Some are cheesy.

And then you have these.







That is a TATTOO. Someone paid someone else to make them look like they got the shit beat out of them. I would have done it for FREE.




COCK DRAGON!!! Oh my chickens and eggs, that looks like SERIOUS OUCHIE happening. Cock dragon. Totally changes that joke about the guy with "WY" tattooed on his knob that becomes "Welcome to Wisconsin, have a great day!" when hard. This guy goes to bed with a Richard Scarry earthworm and wakes up with Eragon. (Seriously - intricate tattoos have to get refilled in! So... was he hard? OH MY GOD. Can you imagine the hard core artist with Pennywise on his skull having to hold a hard dick in his hand and POKE IT OVER AND OVER WITH A NEEDLE????)





WHY?? WHY. WHY! WHY?!?! Girlfriend: no. En. Oh. NO. That is NOT hot. That is not "cool." The only guys (or girls) that are going to dig that are parolees running meth out of their grandma's kitchen while still living with their moms. Who steal from their baby cousins to support their habit, but won't sell their collection of pewter dragons and wizards to get Taco Bell for dinner. And who come up with new and unique ways to "jazz up" Ramen noodles. "Hey, cook it in bong water, add the cheese dust from the inside of a Dorito's bag, and sprinkle a red pepper flakes packet from Pizza Inn over the top, and you're talking some A-Line eatin', bro!"



WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE???

AND I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM LOOKING AT HERE. I... WHAT AM I LOOKING AT HERE???

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Comments

( 70 comments — Leave a comment )
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liz_marcs
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:32 pm (UTC)
Ummmmm....

Got no words. None.

Although I admit that I'd laugh myself sick if I saw a dragon-penis, which is probably not the reaction the wanna-be was going for.
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:35 pm (UTC)
I KNOW. I would laugh so hard at the Dragon cock, it's just not even funny. Except for all that laughing would indicate that it WAS funny.

WHAT ON EARTH? That's is called TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS TO THINK ABOUT YOUR DICK.

Not to mention that I'd be humming Puff the Magic Dragon, and that's not exactly a "sexy" tune.
brandil
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:37 pm (UTC)
I had seen the penis dragon before, but not the permanent face bruises or the vagina face. Er ...

Neither of which are as disturbing as that video. did you noticed that that one poodle had a cock? And here I was thinking they were all girls.

The fuck was that about?
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:45 pm (UTC)
I did NOT see the Poodle cock, OH MY GOD. Brandi! What is WRONG with people???

Vagina demon. Well, THANKS A LOT, chick. Like we don't have enough of a stigma down there, you have to add an evil face.

(oooh, Sal's in for the walk next year - you wanna come????)
... - brandil - Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
southernbangel
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
Wait, guys get tattoos on their COCKS? Doesn't that, I don't hurt, HURT LIKE A MOFO? And the lady one? OH EM GEE.

And what the hell is up with that video? WHAT?! Poodle lady is CAH-RAZY.
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:47 pm (UTC)
I DO NOT KNOW WHY YOU WOULD DO THAT DOWN THERE.

I mean, I didn't think my tattoo hurt. It was irritating, but not PAINFUL. And mine's on the top of my foot where it's nothing but nerve endings. But your PO PO??

Poodle Lady. It HAS to be a parody of some kind. It... *sigh*
a2zmom
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC)
There is no way dragon dick would get anywhere near me. (And now I'm thinking about flames shooting out. No, no, no.)

I wouldn't even get a tatoo on my shoulder because of the whole ouch thing. I'm gonna let someone play color by numbers with my poon? I think not.
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:48 pm (UTC)
I would laugh so hard at Dragon Dick and ask him all about his 30 year long DnD game and did he think he was actually gaining magic powers and... (not to insult those on my flist - or my husband - who PLAY and ENJOY DnD but you KNOW what I mean here.)

THIS GIRL GIVES A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO PUNJAB. [/rimshot]
sdwolfpup
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:43 pm (UTC)
I...I...I've got nothing.
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:49 pm (UTC)
Imagine if these people had just read a few more books... Taken a few more walks... Anything to GET THEM OUT OF THE TATTOO CHAIR.
sweetumms33
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:44 pm (UTC)
You just made my day. The beat-up face guy was just sad, but Dragon penis? I died laughing. Now I am going to look at random men on the street and wonder if they have that under their pants. HAHHAHAHA, I can't stop laughing it's too funny.
As for the face...yeah not so much. Bad idea.

You rock, this is so funny
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:50 pm (UTC)
*drools over your Logan icon*

I mean... DRAGON DICK. Some guy thinks his dick is a DRAGON. And paid good money and endured lots of pain to be a living cock joke. WOW.

*laughs with you*
poshcat
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:53 pm (UTC)
THE POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I want a poodle that wears spandex while doing aerobics.

Also, did you see that "before" pic!?!? OMG, please tell me she didn't look like that on a daily basis! Put your legs together, honey, for the love of god!
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:12 pm (UTC)
JIM!!!

Okay, I did NOT see the before pic, what?!? And SRSLY with the putting the legs together. Unless you look like THIS (omg I am not straight when that picture is shown, UNGH) you should KEEP 'EM CLOSED.
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romanyg
Nov. 2nd, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
Um...she's going to regret the facial tattoos when she's older?

And Puff...*squeezes legs together just looking at it, in an ouch way*

Poodle...wha?
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:14 pm (UTC)
JUST IMAGINE BEING 87.

Say you've let the hair grow back, because you are 87. And you need to get an exam, which requires - maybe - a nurse to shave you.

AND THEY FIND THAT ON GRANDMA.
... - a2zmom - Nov. 2nd, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Nov. 2nd, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
beadattitude
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:02 pm (UTC)
I'm just imagining that girl getting a pap smear done and scaring the ell out of her doctor. Also? Her birthing videos are going to be sumpin' else.

Man, she took the vagina dentata idea a little far.

As for the others!? OMG. OMG. Not only did the dragon have to be fully...formed to tatoo it, but he let some tat artist do that to his balls. :::shudders::: I mean, damn.

And for the guy that looks beat up? Bless his heart. He really is messed up big time. Jeez!

Jeff and I looked at the poodle thing and are once again, completely baffled by the Japanese culture. WTF, indeed.
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:15 pm (UTC)
Can you imagine "getting straight" and trying to get a regular job with permanent bruising on your face?

WTF with the poodles. W. T. F.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:16 pm (UTC)
I think I filled your bizarre quota for the MONTH. I do NOT know how they did the poodle thing, or if it's a parody or what.

I... WOW, ANNE.
moosesal
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:13 pm (UTC)
Wow, I've actually seen the dragon before, but the last one? What do you tell your Gyno? Or your waxer? I mean WTF??

I don't even know what to make of that video. But did you notice the the poodles' handweights were dog bones? Hee!
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:17 pm (UTC)
I've seen some pretty intricate tattooing in my time, but that dragon and demon take the CAKE.

Imagine 85 year old Grandpa balls covered in dragon scales. OH GOOD LORD, SAL.

I did NOT notice the bone weights!! So... parody? Or weird idea the Japanese love?
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samsom
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:14 pm (UTC)
If I showed that dragon tattoo to my husband, he'd fall to his knees, twitching, just from *imagining* the utter horror of being bombarded with a needle in. that. way.

I'd shudder in sympathy myself but I'm betting that guy didn't exactly 'shrink' from the pain.
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:18 pm (UTC)
*badumCHING!* Yeah - I'm thinking the pain was a bonus for our Puffster.

HIS SCROTUM IS TATTOOED. Ouch. OOOOOOOUUUUUUUCHuh.
kultiras
Nov. 2nd, 2006 08:34 pm (UTC)
So if she gives birth naturally can she actually say she gave birth to demon spawn?

And I thought the guy who had the Imperial Insignia (from Star Wars) branded onto his skull was bad…

*hides from video*
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 09:45 pm (UTC)
FOR THE RECORD: the video is just weird, not perverted or anything. JUST VERY VERY WEIRD.

And HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA to demon spawn!!
... - kultiras - Nov. 3rd, 2006 12:39 am (UTC) - Expand
marenfic
Nov. 2nd, 2006 09:38 pm (UTC)
Oh Em Gee.

Gives unfortunate legitimacy to the "cock eater" name for the va-jay-jay.
stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 09:46 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA and ewwwwww. There are about fifteen shades of WRONG in those pictures.

WHYYYYYY???
gillo
Nov. 2nd, 2006 09:40 pm (UTC)
Bloody hell. That is all.

No it isn't. WTF????

stoney321
Nov. 2nd, 2006 09:46 pm (UTC)
I KNOW!! *holds you and cries on your shoulder*

This is what you call a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
... - gillo - Nov. 2nd, 2006 11:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
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( 70 comments — Leave a comment )

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