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Seriously. I want you all to love Metalocalypse. And not so you'll read my upcoming fanfic, because that would be sad and pathetic. Ahem. Here's an introduction, ep 1 "The Curse of Dethklok" and ep 10 "Fat Kid at the Detharmonic" which has had my husband and I calling each other a "Fatty Ding Dongs" anytime we've gone to eat crap. It's funny when it's in a Swedish accent, as is EVERYTHING. Troost me, thees show is nots dildos. *totally laughs alone* THEY SUMMON DEMONS. Accidentally! And make an island for wayward kitties! Hahaha. Their hard core theme song has "doodle dee do dong tick tock" in it! Bwah.

And because I think I've been dealing with stress in a ... Martha-esque way (read: my house is SPOT. LESS.) I've made a poll to see if I have a condition that I may need to be medicated for. *crosses fingers!*

Poll #899135 Laces OUT!

When sweeping the floor do you:

make many small piles to keep the dirt from spreading everywhere.
make a Master Pile because it's easier to scoop and dispose.
point to crumbs and let the dog handle it.
not sweep because WHO CARES?

When mopping do you:

rinse the mop head separately because you don't want to mix the clean water with the dirt.
rinse/mop from same source - there's soap in there, so what's the problem?
not mop because WHO CARES?
not have moppable floors, woot!

For cat owners, re: litter pan.

I scoop every clump and broken bit because isn't that the point?
I only get the larger bits. If something small breaks off, I don't care.
I wait until it's completely full, then dump it all and start fresh.
I let the cat go on my piles of dirty laundry because I don't care.

When cleaning the shower/tub do you:

get naked, scrub every inch from top down, then sun the shower to rinse it all, hence the naked?
everything above minus nudity, pervert.
only the floor and glass door (if applicable.)
I'm... really bad about cleaning it. I mean, it's soap, right? Not a big deal to me.

ICheck all that apply to you:

I cannot go to bed with a sink full of dirty dishes.
Laundry has to be put away once it's folded - in drawers, on hangers, etc.
I have a "to be ironed" pile that has never/hardly ever moved.
I let things build up until I can't stand it, then I clean in a fury. And then let it build and build until I repeat the whole cycle.
I have stacks and piles in my house, but it's books and things like that. Nothing unsanitary.
I'm kind of clean. I go through cleaning jags, then get busy with other things.
I have never cleaned my toilet.
I just got hives because of the above statement.
I use a lot of air fresheners to mask odors.
I use a lot of scented sprays because I just like the smell.
I like to click tick boxes.
I have never cleaned my refrigerator.
I clean my microwave regularly.
Vaccuming is torture. I hardly ever do it.
I have a schedule for cleaning.

Gah, that one about the shower is TURN on the shower, not SUN the shower. Stupid inability to edit polls...

And I'll just let you guess what my answers are. (omg, I think I'm neurotic. But... It's my HOME, people!)


( 86 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 2nd, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC)
Hee. You're sick, you know that, right?

The upside and the downside of being single is the same...it's just your own dirt, so it's easier to live with! But then occasionally you look around and say, DAMN. And then I clean.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
Hey! You don't know what my answers are! I may be the person that's never cleaned their toilet! *scratches hives, EW EW EW EW*

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Jan. 2nd, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
I am a slattern. I will even mark schoolbooks to avoid the Ironing Pile of Doom.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 06:53 pm (UTC)
Ah, one so rarely sees the word "slattern" anymore! Points, my dear gillo!
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Jan. 2nd, 2007 06:55 pm (UTC)
I can't remember the last time I actually used a real mop to mop a floor. I use my swiffer, and then maybe a soapy rag if I feel it needs more.

But mostly it's the dogs. Because they have to be good for something.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 06:59 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'm a HUGE FAN of the Swiffer Wet Jet for my laundry room (where the cat box is.) But uh...

Yeah. I'm thinking I definitely have some neurosis. :D
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Jan. 2nd, 2007 06:56 pm (UTC)

sixteen_letters and David, the produce mgr have both got on my ass about not watching Metalocalypse. I've got to go rent them, I guess. I mean, if you love it too ... what choice do I have?


**twirls you**
Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
SNOW. Dude. You will friggin' LOVE THE SHOW. I kid you not. You will howl with laughter. I've put two eps up top for dl'ing...

Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:05 pm (UTC)
Okay, I'm not really happy with all of my answers because the options were not quite adequate for me. So I will give better replies here.

Sweeping the floor - We have an electric broom (basically a dustbuster with a long handle) that does the main "sweeping". I only pull out the hand-held broom and dustpan when I make a mess that needs immediate sweeping. And then it's usually one area, so one pile.

Mopping - I have a Swiffer. So technically same source? I guess What's this bucket of water thing? ;-)

Shower - Okay. Now sometimes, I take the cleaning products into the shower and clean while naked then take my shower. Otherwise, I do all of the first, but with some clothing on. I have a shower head with hose, so it comes off for ease of rinsing things off.

Vacuuming is indeed torture and I clicked that box. But I should note that it gets done twice a week. By Chris. *g*
Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:10 pm (UTC)

Do those electric brooms really work? My only experience with one was several years back, and it didn't get all the dirt, and apparently I'm neurotic. ZOMG every crumb!!

I use a swiffer for in between mopping, but I guess I don't feel that it does a good enough job to really get down and deep clean. Also, I have tile floors, so does this make a difference? Also, see: neurosis, me.

I am SO GLAD I'm not the only naked shower cleaner. Hahahahahahahaha. (Sally, I need help. Clearly.)
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Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC)
It's not neurotic, it's a life choice! I think I feel one of those cleaning jag frenzies coming on, better strike while the iron is hot and the ironing pile is relatively small.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:11 pm (UTC)
I see you have a cleaning schedule, too! Whew. At least I'm not the only one. :D

*sprays Lysol on you to keep you clean* Haha.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:17 pm (UTC)
In re dishes: there were two items in our prenup. One was that any male offspring wouldnot be FJR4; the other set forth the principle that I cook, he washes dishes. Now it is I cook or one of the kids cook, and they (he and the kids) wash dishes, but the core understanding remains: I do not wash dishes.

When I lived alone, I hired one of my younger cousins to come wash dishes.

I am not rational about this. Maybe I'm the one who needs more medication?

Julia, have actually washed dishes for pay, more than once.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
See, and I think that when you do something as a JOB, it makes it so you don't want to do it away from the job, so I get it. I used to clean houses when I was a college student, and it took YEARS for me to get over my hatred of cleaning. The older I get (and the harder it is to get stubborn stains out, etc.) I find that I enjoy the satisfaction of a clean house.

But I really REALLY don't spend a lot of time on things, I swear! I just tackle them when they happen!
Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
I find it kind of ironic that I took a cleaning poll when my house desperately needs to be cleaned. Except I was playing Big Kahuna Reef and couldn't get to it!! *looks shifty*

When I do clean I am very thorough, but honestly, I let it go until I can't stand it anymore. Hardly anyone ever comes over, which is the only alternate motivation to clean beyond my own realization that I have reached my dirtylimit.

I wish I were more disciplined about it--for a few months this year I had a cleaning service. If I could have afforded to keep hiring them I would have--a cleaner environment is so much less stressful to me. I just need a kick in the arse to make one =P
Jan. 2nd, 2007 07:53 pm (UTC)
I keep saying this everywhere here, but it bears repeating: I don't spend a lot of time cleaning. I'm just thorough when I do it. :)

I made a schedule for cleaning, and that helped a lot. Like, laundry is only on days 1 and 4, mopping is only on day 3, bathroom overhaul cleaning is only day 2, that sort of thing. SO I only have one "large" task a day, and that's the only day I do it (unless there's an accident, etc.) That went a LONG way to take the stress off of piles building up, etc.

CLEANING SERVICE. Dude, there's the ideal situation, there. I'm right there with you on a cleaner environment = less stress, too.
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Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:11 pm (UTC)
Omg, taking a poll about my cleaning habits makes me feel exposed -- kind of like I'm naked cleaning the shower! Seriously?
Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:16 pm (UTC)
sometimes? Err, I don't like wet clothes when I clean and... DUN JUDGE MEE, zomg!!

Ahahahaha. I LIKE IT CLEAN, WOMAN. *unbuttons top-half of shirt* Except when I like it dirty. [rimshot]
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Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:15 pm (UTC)
I filled in the poll, because I can't resist the ticky boxes, but they didn't give the whole picture.
I live alone, have done for years. I used to be very obsessive about cleaning, but I'm much more relaxed now. I have a small apartment, and way too much stuff, so there are piles of books which don't have shelf space, and exercise equipment making nice coat racks against the wall of the bedroom...I keep things tidy, and occasionally get nuts, cleaning everything in one long jag of cleaning frenzy.
Not that the cats notice...except when I use the evil vacuum. Funny how they can disappear in such a small space.
Ironing is torture, but necessary from time to time.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC)
No, I think you fit in with the questions just fine! I'm finding that people feel the need to justify THEIR cleaning habits to me, which is cracking me up, since I clearly have a problem. *gets out the wet-naps*

I swear I SWEAR I'm not a germ-phobe. I just like things put in their place/organized, etc.
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Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:16 pm (UTC)
I WOULD CLEAN A MICROWAVE IF I HAD ONE. I don't clean the microwave at home, hrm. ...however it is clean so presumably someone cleans it WHOA GUILT. *flushes* Also er my scout hoovers my room for me at college. And I must admit I had cleaned a fridge a handful of times before I went to uni. And now I clean it often, because ohgod. You know what I hate? People with smelly fridges. Your fridge did not smell, obviously. Just. When something is STINKING OUT YOUR FRIDGE, you DEAL.

Your house was LOVELY and clean.

Also - am worried I ticked wrong option re: litter tray. Daisy almost always goes outside (was a farm kitten, maybe that's why), and would only ever use her tray indoors at night. ....so it's just the first job in the morning, you know? If she needs to go during the day, she goes out (she hates her tray), and her tray stays in the garage (because trays are nasty!). Just. ...why would you LEAVE a dirty tray?

I am naturally untidy, but naturally clean. I think this is pretty good for a uni student.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:21 pm (UTC)
Wanna know a quick way to clean your microwave? Slice a lemon into a bowl of water and microwave it for 4 minutes. Let it sit for a bit, then you can wipe out the microwave with a paper towel! It steams the dried on bits right off!

I only clean my fridge once or twice a year, but with kids, it becomes a necessity. (Plus, meat in there, condiments...) My grandma had the STINKIEST FRIDGE. It was a dare to breathe it in when we were kids, EW. That may have something to do with it...

And yes, I think you are a clean girl. I don't mind stacks of books, shoes by the door, that stuff. I'm talking about build up and filth, that's gross. But my cats tend to use the outdoors, too, but I'm very anal about the litter pans. I hate little clumps left in there!
Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:20 pm (UTC)
The microwave thing only applies if 'regularly' means 'every few months.'

I'm a fairly messy person - I'll let dust build up in corners and pile things on the dresser - but I draw the line at gross stuff like rotten food and uncleaned toilets.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:22 pm (UTC)
Heee! I clean mine every week, but then, this whole poll has exposed me for being a spazz, so... feel free to ignore me. :D

I don't mind piles of things like you're talking about. I prefer things put away, but don't freak out over stacks of books, mail, shoes lying about. I'm with you re: germy/stinky stuff like food and bathroom ick. BLEH.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:27 pm (UTC)
I'm very clean if I have a roommate and am very assiduous about leaving the break room at work clean after me, but living alone at home, omg, housework bores me. Only do what I have to.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:56 pm (UTC)
*gives you co-worker of the year award* I've worked with some slobby, nasty folk before, so you rock for that. (Like, exploding food in microwave left on a three day weekend. EW.)
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Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:35 pm (UTC)
Two things.

One, yes to naked shower cleaning. Mainly because I clean the tub as/just before I shower. Yeah, sure, I may be laving a faint soapy deposit or whatnot, but it's just EASIER.

Two, my family was in the habit of keeping the litter in the bathroom. Any, er, solids were flushed down the toilet at the next appropriate time, and the clumps were tossed in trash that got cleared out every day or hen necessary. Before clumping litter, the litter got changed every week or so.

I defy schedules, probably for silly obstinate or at least mysterious reasons. Dunno why. I laugh at he fluttering sound of deadlines. Btu not when it's freelance work. Huh.

Oh, and Happy New Year, yay!
Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:59 pm (UTC)
Happy New Year!! And I'm the same about the shower - it's right before I'm going to shower, so why not? Plus, no wet clothes (I have this thing about my pants getting wet hems - I'm weird.)

I try and keep the litter pan scooped daily - I just have a sensitive nose to those smells, so it's a win/win for me. Plus, I have an elderly cat that feels litter on the floor and thinks it's the pan, so scoop and sweep daily saves me from cleaning up mess on my tile. :D
Jan. 2nd, 2007 08:36 pm (UTC)
Um, you are missing an option. I pay people to come to my house every other week to clean. Once or twice a year I vacuum in between those appointments because someone is coming over. Since getting the dog who OMGWILLNOTPEEANDPOOPOUTSIDEFUCKINGFREAK, I got a swiffer wet jet to deal with puppy messes. The night before the cleaners come, Essene and I try to make ourselves straighten up the clutter, but usually they just pile it up for us. If it weren't for the very nice cleaning people, my house would be uninhabitable.
Jan. 2nd, 2007 09:02 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, I am not missing the option, I do not HAVE the option! :D Man, a cleaning service would be SO WONDERFUL. I'd love it. That's been a dream since way back in the day when my mother was harping at us about screwing up the vacuum lines in the carpet. (Huh, I wonder where my need for clean comes from?)

I use a wet jet for my cats' messes, too. It's WONDERFUL for those in between cleanings. (Hee! Cleaning for the cleaning ladies! It's like brushing and flossing before going to the dentist for a cleaning.)
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( 86 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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