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*pokes the flist*

What, you all have lives today? Sorry for the twice in one day rule breakage. Wait, NO I'M NOT! I have itchy fingers and no ideas.

Won't someone think of the children give me the most cracktastic prompt you can think of? I can't promise I'll write them all, but I'll give it the ol' college try. Star Wars, Buffy, Angel, PotC, Adult Swim um... Scrubs. Any and all.

GO! *passes everyone muffins*



"Red Headed Step-Child of Crossovers - Fortunately, A Part of This Story Contains Angel and a Lightsaber." <- twenty points to those who get the reference

Scrubs, AtS, Star Wars

****

Angel shifted in the hard plastic chair, kicking his half-hidden battle axe accidentally. The kid in the rough brown robe sitting across from him stared. He really hoped Gunn was okay; this fluorescent light made his skin look paler than normal and his highlights just looked harsh. A pretty Dominican (or was she Puerto Rican?) nurse asked him some general questions about what he had eaten previously, if he had any known allergies, and what the hell was that, a tooth sticking out of his shoulder?

He mumbled some answers, his eyes tracking two guys skipping down the hallway. Both were wearing scrubs, one in blue, the other in green. The nurse ran off after them. Angel had second thoughts about this place. He knew they needed to spread out their hospital stays to keep questions down, but skipping? Skipping doctors? True, one of them had fantastic hair. He wondered briefly what products the blue doctor used.

"Nice axe."

The kid in the brown robe - what, was he into D&D? - nodded with his chin.

"Uh, thanks. It's a costume." Angel winced.

"Yeah, so's this." The kid pulled out a weird flashlight. It made a really cool vvvoooom noise. And sliced the plastic chair next to the kid in half. He was definitely going to have to put Wesley to finding one of those.

"Your friend hurt?" This kid was really into intense staring.

"Uh, yeah. What are you here for?"

The kid shrugged. "Got sent here. I'm waiting for Obi-Wan to show up. He's the only one the council trusts. Also, I think this is some sort of limbo while I'm being put into a tin can."

"Riiiight."

The kid sighed and scowled. "I want to be back with Padmè. She's so beautiful. She's not at all like sand. I hate sand."

"You hate...sand?"

"Mmm hmm. It's coarse and irritating. She's not."

"That's, uh, that's a good thing. Loving someone because they're not irritating. Like... sand."

"Do you have anyone? Loving is the very essence of what a Jedi stands for."

Okay, so this kid was seriously into his Dungeons and Dragons. Or whatever they were calling it this decade. "Uh- no. Not anymore."

"Why not?"

"Look, can we just sit here? Like in an elevator. I don't want small talk. Just look at the numbers, okay?"

"That bad, huh?"

"Bad? Let's see. She killed me, sent me to a hell dimension, brought me back, let me drink her blood, oh, and was over two hundred years younger than me. The music she made me listen to! Did I mention the killing and sending me to a hell dimension? Because that's the important part. Oh, and if we're ever 'together' I go homicidal. So there's that."

"I killed a bunch of babies and kids so she wouldn't die in childbirth, then suspected her of turning me into the Jedi Council, then I tried to kill her with my bare hands. So my best friend cut off my legs and left me on lava crust where I burned up. I really have no idea how I got here."

"Yeah, but she killed me. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that part."

The skipping doctors came back down the hall, both with fudge-cicles. Angel was sure now that coming to this hospital was a bad idea.

"I had to pretend my wife wasn't my wife, because Jedi aren't allowed to marry. AND I KILLED HER." The kid's eyes were beginning to glow red. Angel fingered his axe.

"Okay, kid, okay. That's pretty harsh, what with your best friend cutting off your legs. So, what are those, then?" Angel pointed at the kid's legs with his axe. To make a point. Both of them.

"I --. Huh."

The kid seized up in a rictus and began to glow. "Where's... Padmè?" He choked out each word, which sounded deep. Like a black dude who's name Angel couldn't put a finger on. Why was he thinking of that Disney movie with the lions?

"Nooooooooooo!" The kid practically shrieked, and disappeared like in a fire implosion. Huh. Still only the fourth weirdest thing Angel had seen today.
**********




My Chocolate Buddy

Scrubs/Angel: The Series, J.D.'s POV
for gillo and cityphonelines

******

When your best friend is a Chocolate Bear and you are a Matzoh with Applesauce, you have to learn when they need some brother-time by themselves. I was still learning.

I was waiting for the bartender to make me a decent apple-tini (I'd already sent back three for having more tini than apple) and a beer when I saw Turk talking to some other Dark Flava. Hmm. This guy looked like R. Kelly with a side of DMX and maybe juuuust a touch of Tyrese. I really needed to turn off BET before I went to bed.

Finally I got my drinks and went back to my best friend in the world. Not that I was trying to establish that, or anything.

"Here's your drink, Brown Bear. You know, I'm feeling like you're Mocha Java tonight. I'm gonna be Crème Brûlée. 'Cuz I'm so sweet, you know it!"

"J.D., this is--. I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?"

"I didn't, but it's cool, man. Call me Gunn."

I elbowed in between them and set my drink down. "Oooh, like a weapon! Or a super spy. 'Sup, G-Dog. I'm J.D."

"Yeah, he said that." He didn't shake my hand. I faked swatting a fly away to explain my outstretched hand. Turk was giving me the eye. The "move over here so we can stand united together" eye. It was easily confused by the "I need some alone time and that does not mean you and me alone" eye.

I carefully sipped my drink. Ahh. Appletinis: the drink of men.

"J.D., why don't you go sit with Elliot and leave me and Gunn here for a bit?"

And right then, I knew that I would never in a million years go sit with Elliot. I looked over at Elliot quickly and saw that she was drunkenly flirting with some hot chick. Hmmm. Maybe I would go sit with her. Gunn started up again with the first date talk. Man, this guy was pushy!

"So anyway, I was telling you about this guy I work for. He's pretty cool most of the time, but when he's in a mood? Huh. And the pay is lousy, yo."

Turk turned his back to me. "I hear you. This guy I work for? The very personification of The Man."

G-dog laughed, "Lemme guess: white, uptight, plays golf, keeps his hands in his pockets to keep from touching the low lifes?"

I cut in, "You know it, G-Diddy! That is Kelso! That's him to a T!"

Turk turned to me and whispered, "J.D. Be cool."

"I'm cool! Oh, don't let me forget to get online tonight and order those Holiday On Ice tickets. I hope they haven't sold out..."

Turk grabbed a wad of dollar bills from his pocket and shoved them in my hand. "Go play the Free Throw game. Show us ya game, dawg!"

"Okay! " I sipped a bit more off my 'tini and converted a few bills into tokens. "Get ready to be on a school bus where...I'm... driving you. I'll work on that later."

I tried to hear what Turk was saying. "...so this guy, he treat you like an equal?"

"It all depends. When we're on a case, he knows I got his back, and same for him. But sometimes - I don't know. He's just a loner. But ain't we all?"

Turk nodded, "True dat." I could see him fingering his ID bracelet. I remembered the day we had those made like it was yesterday....

"J.D., why are you standing there with a basketball pressed to your cheek?"

Elliot had her arm slung over some girl's shoulder and was heading for the ladies'. The sound of a New Best Friend Secret Handshake caught my attention. Turk and The Interloper were slapping hands. Next thing you know, they'd be bumping chests! That's MY chest to bump!

"...naw, man, J.D.'s cool. He's a little... white, but he's cool."

Okay, Ultra-Black-Man. Now you're getting personal. I may not be the darkest crayon in the box, and I may not have the grace of a black swan, but I love junk in the trunk and a full set of lips and that's my best friend you're trying to steal! I stomped towards them with determination when I noticed out of the corner of my eye a thin reedy looking girl with librarian glasses walk in and put her arms around G to the Izzy.

"You ready? I called Angel and he said to meet us back at the hotel. Oh, hi," the girl smiled and pushed her glasses up. "My name's Fred."

I watched Turk hide his shock and shake her hand. I also saw him keep both hands wrapped around his beer when "My Name Is Cooler Than Yours" stood up to leave and only gave him a chin nod. I slipped into the newly emptied seat next to my buddy.

"Your new friend leave?"

"Yeah. Quit that."

"What, T-Bone?"

"You know no one is going to take your place."

"I know dat's right."

"Don't say 'dat,' J.D."

"Okay. Oh, don't forget that tomorrow is Take Your Rowdy To Work Day! I can't wait to show him our filing system."

Turk smiled and bumped his shoulder with mine. Take that, Mr. Super Spy Black Man.
*******

Got all the prompts I can handle now, thanks!

Comments

( 67 comments — Leave a comment )
bastardsnow
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:21 pm (UTC)
Anakin Skywalker and Angel have an angst-off about whose love story is sadder while sitting in the waiting room at Sacred Heart.

::nods::
stoney321
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:25 pm (UTC)
o_o

dude, FTW! I'll do my best. *salutes*
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ann1962
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:26 pm (UTC)
Carla-Darla crossover?
stoney321
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
Anything else in there?
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killerweasel
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC)
Lindsey McDonald/Han Solo and one of them telling the other 'keep your hands off my wookie'. :P
stoney321
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:38 pm (UTC)
Ahahahaha - we'll see. (I'm terrible at Lindsey)
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gillo
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:44 pm (UTC)
Gunn and Turk comparing boss troubles?
stoney321
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:55 pm (UTC)
Heee!! I'm writing the first prompt right now - Angel and Anakin in Sacred Heart and Gunn and Turk are both in it, but barely.

*cracks knuckles*

Lemme see.
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xochitl42
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:50 pm (UTC)
I mention this with hesitation...though I do not know the characters terribly well, the cracktastity potential is significant:

Squidbillies/Metalocalypse. Could give an entirely new meaning to "this is dildoes."

[hiding in fallout shelter now]
stoney321
Feb. 12th, 2007 05:56 pm (UTC)
Hahahahaha! The funny thing is, I have an Early Cuyler journal for an RP - booty_hunter and Metalocalypse plays in that RP, too. Early and Pickles went on a drinking binge and shot up a bunch of stuff. Hahahaha. Let me see if I can think of anything original there.
cityphonelines
Feb. 12th, 2007 06:05 pm (UTC)
I'm too brain dead to think for myself so I wanna scream 'I second that!' for the Gunn & Turk fic.

Why do I have no Scrubs icons? Or Gunn? *look for screencaps*
stoney321
Feb. 12th, 2007 06:13 pm (UTC)
I'll do my best! And why DON'T you have a Scrubs icon? Then again, I had to make my own, because I didn't know where to look. I r smrt.
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(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Feb. 12th, 2007 07:31 pm (UTC)
Heeeee! YAY. ANd OH MY GOD, I love that prompt. I love it like I love breathing. I'll see if I can do something with that!

(I just posted - here - a second prompt with Gunn and Turk talking about their bosses, if you're interested.)
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luvxander
Feb. 12th, 2007 07:48 pm (UTC)
Angel meets the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Tried to crack that up, but that's all I gots.
stoney321
Feb. 12th, 2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
You can't crack that up any more than it is because IT'S UTTER CRACK!! Oh my god, Carl has to be there somewhere.

!!!

Maybe he's investigating the recent "terrorist attack" by the mooninites!! *gets to it, pronto*
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dlgood
Feb. 13th, 2007 02:40 am (UTC)
Heeeee

AtS/Scrubs possiblities:

Lorne overhears Ted & the Worthless Peons singing a TV theme of your choice.

Dr. Cox walks in on Elliot & Fred mid-Dorky Spazzout.

Lilah gets the cold shoulder from Laverne, hit on by The Todd, has some sort of evil-bitch evil-eye off from Jordan, and sucked up to by Bob Kelso.
stoney321
Feb. 13th, 2007 02:54 pm (UTC)
I'm totally working on some of these prompts RIGHT NOW. Oh, Dave. Your brain is a beautiful fairy land. :D

(I still need to write that Xander, The Todd prompt. I'll work on that one, too. YAY!)

\o/
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demonqueen666
Feb. 13th, 2007 05:25 am (UTC)
Sorry I'm way mucho late to the party, but if I can still get in a prompt? Scrubs/PotC crossover...Sparrow's a patient at Sacred Heart, Norrington is there with him and trying not to make it obvious that they are SO a couple while Sparrow is just being a goof and they are so not fooling anybody. Well, except maybe J.D.
stoney321
Feb. 13th, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC)
Ahahahaha, lgive me a bit to find it, but that fic exists!! And there's loads of Dr. Cox/JD interludes, too! My buddy cherusha wrote it. *loves your brain*
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petzipellepingo
Feb. 13th, 2007 11:24 am (UTC)
spuffyduds
Feb. 13th, 2007 02:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, these are entirely carved out of fabulousness, with a patina of HEEEE!
stoney321
Feb. 13th, 2007 02:52 pm (UTC)
Hahahahahaha! *gives that patina a spit-shine* I'm glad you laughed, yay!
entrenous88
Feb. 13th, 2007 03:18 pm (UTC)
Wow, Anakin is so weird -- weirder than Angel, and how's that for a dubious honor?

These are hilarious!
stoney321
Feb. 13th, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
Anankin IS weird! (This is mostly a dig at Hayden's, um, acting style. And George Lucas' PAINFUL dialogue. SAND? Really? Really. That's your big pick-up line for the soon-to-be most evil being in the universe? WOW.)

I'm glad you thought they were funny - I'm definitely happier with #2, but there are a few really good prompts I'm having a good time with. \o/ crack!
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my_daroga
Feb. 13th, 2007 09:43 pm (UTC)
This is very confusing since I've never seen Scrubs. But I was amused nontheless.
stoney321
Feb. 13th, 2007 09:59 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, and you read!! Oh, that's lovely. Scrubs is one of my favorite sitcoms ever. JD (Zach Braff) and Turk (Donald Faison) are basically heterosexual life partners. It's a running gag.

That's so cool that you read this even without knowing what the hell I was talking about. :D
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lusciousxander
Feb. 13th, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC)
LMFAO!! The second one is awesome! You got JD's voice so perfectly. I heart Scrubs! Maybe you should get JD to pal with Andrew to get back at Turk talking to Gunn, hee, or better yet have The Todd talk to Angel...
stoney321
Feb. 13th, 2007 10:12 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, yay for getting you to laugh!! I *am* working on one with The Todd and Xander, so hopefully that will work for you, too. :D

I LOVE SCRUBS.
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cordelianne
Feb. 13th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
heeeeee! I loved Angel and Anakin comparing their bad love lives. Uh, Anakin wins. And J.D's jealousy of Gunn and Turk is very fun!! *g*
stoney321
Feb. 13th, 2007 10:55 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, YAY! And WHATEVER, Angel TOTALLY wins. (I'm joking) I mean, he has had to walk away from his true love, like, twice. And they together had the most awesome hair of ALL star crossed lovers, what?

*tickles you*
terilyn4
Feb. 14th, 2007 12:55 am (UTC)
how about Puppet Angel/Yoda commiserating with each other on the joys and tribulations of being short? *bats eyes*
stoney321
Feb. 14th, 2007 02:07 am (UTC)
Heeee! I forgot to put up there that I got all the prompts I can handle - I've got a few more I'm working on.

You should write that one!
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lynnenne
Feb. 14th, 2007 02:00 am (UTC)
The kid pulled out a weird flashlight. It made a really cool vvvoooom noise. And sliced the plastic chair next to the kid in half. He was definitely going to have to put Wesley to finding one of those.

Heeeeeeeee! Angel would totally want a light saber.

"Mmm hmm. It's coarse and irritating. She's not."

HAHAHAHAHA. I wouldn't bet on that, Anakin.

He choked out each word, which sounded deep. Like a black dude who's name Angel couldn't put a finger on. Why was he thinking of that Disney movie with the lions?

*chokes with laughter* You are the QUEEN OF AWESOME.

"You must avenge my death, Simba."
"Luke, I am your father."
"This is CNN."
"Would you guys get outta here? I'm trying to talk to Lisa!"


stoney321
Feb. 14th, 2007 02:07 am (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I love how you can ALWAYS bring it back to The Simpsons!!!

These were fun little exercises. I've got a few more I want to write, because let's face it: crack is my food.

<3 U
dessert_first
Feb. 14th, 2007 04:01 am (UTC)
Bahahaha!! Good angst-off, but My Chocolate Buddy is the bestest Scrubs/AtS crossover ever in the world, ever. Heeeeeeeeeeee! I love every single name JD thinks to call Gunn, whether he says it out loud or not, his being tempted to join drunken flirting-with-a-girl Elliot, and the triple apple-deficient 'tini returns. Great JD voice.
stoney321
Feb. 14th, 2007 01:21 pm (UTC)
I completely agree re: #1 vs. #2. I just wrote these in the edit window to try and get the juices flowing. But yay to you thinking the JD voice was on! Man, do I love that show. Both of them.

*squish!*
roga
Feb. 19th, 2007 12:33 pm (UTC)
Aw, My Chocolate Buddy is so sweet! Great JD voice :-)
stoney321
Feb. 19th, 2007 02:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, yay! Thank you so much!
( 67 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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