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Bad day, but getting better

Messes. Greasy, crumbly messes. Everywhere. It's the children. They are trying to break me. They hide filthy wrappers and dirty clothes and sit and giggle while I try to locate "that smell." My nose hurts. Figure out that the three year old peed on the carpet in her room. She "didn't like the bathroom today."

Cat box is out of control. Vaccum bag is full. There's a fly buzzing in the window. I want to lay waste to this house and make it clean with fire. Husband takes torch and gasoline away from me. Fire pretty. No, he says. Fire bad. Hands me new concoction. Calls it Tropical Depression. It is FUCKING tasty. I go look at Charisma Carpenter pics on karabair's post. Get handed new drink, named "Charisma Nipple" by panting husband. Is tasty. Am drinking lots of different things.

No longer care about the mess. Wonderful man I swore to love is cleaning the house. Have new list of fics to read from crzaydiamondsue. Life is still good.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 26th, 2004 06:03 pm (UTC)
I'm holding HIS nipples. Cleetus! Gee up, Haw!

We shall partake of the Charisma Nipples when you come. In a total "crazy drink way" not a psycho, tie you up with Brachtoon in my cozy cellar way.

I am feeling groovy. kin ewe tale?
likeadeuce
Sep. 26th, 2004 08:23 pm (UTC)
brachtoon!
There can never be enough "stalking Mr. Belvedere" references!

*snogs you*

seriously, how do ancient SNL skits, even lousy ones, manage to have such a long life -- when so many better parts of culture are forgotten? seriously, my MOM still makes Rob Schneider-esque "You like-a the juice??" references. and the whole "Bad Idea" thing this summer started with my memory of the Bad Idea Jeans sketch.
stoney321
Sep. 26th, 2004 08:36 pm (UTC)
Making Love.... outta nothing at all.
Seriously. i am totally in love with you right now. "I should want to watch Brachtoon on the TV, not keep in locked up in my cellar in a glass room."

It is almost impossibile for me to say "bad idea" with out adding "jeans." I mean, when am I ever going to be in Haiti again?

My BF and I had a little pee come out laughing at the talking Nativity Baby Jesus commercial. And the batteries run out, and it stays on until Three King's Day? And the kids are huddled in their beds crying from the creepy sound Jesus makes? My dream had been to be on that show....
cityphonelines
Sep. 26th, 2004 06:03 pm (UTC)
How you make those fancy shmancy drinks there? I think your 3 yr. old kid and my 3 yr. old dog are conspiring...
stoney321
Sep. 26th, 2004 06:10 pm (UTC)
TROPICAL DEPRESSION
1 oz. Malibu Rum
1 oz. Peach Schnapps
2 oz. Rum
equal parts pineapple juice and OJ, shake and pour into 16 oz. glass over ice.

CHARISMA NIPPLE
1 oz. Baily's
1 oz. Butterscotch schnapps
1 oz. Vanilla Vodka

cityphonelines
Sep. 26th, 2004 06:21 pm (UTC)
Now if only the walk to the car and the drive to the licker store (4 minute-ish drive) didn't seem like such a bother for my hungover ass.
hellziggy
Sep. 26th, 2004 10:10 pm (UTC)
OMG! I want a Charisma Nipple! That sounds soooo yummy.
I should probably just go to bed instead though, since it is midnight and I have to be to work at seven tomorrow....
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2004 05:51 am (UTC)
I'm a firm believer that EVERYONE should have a Charsima Nipple.

they are DELISH. Hee!
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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