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First off, Can anyone whistle an EVIL tune? Let me know, if so.



Second, no one let me know if they got the running thing down. For newbies: run with left arm out, left leg out, right arm back, right leg back. AND I MEAN RUN. I believe it to be an impossibility.




BY WENDY MOLYNEUX
- - - -
The Great Gatsby
Gatsby follows this chick Daisy to South Padre Island for spring break. While jet-skiing, he finds out that she has already hooked up with his buddy Tom. So he hooks up with this other girl, Mabel. When Mabel's husband finds out, he suggests a three-way.



Hamlet
Got MILF? A wealthy bachelor falls for an older lady named Gertrude. Then he finds out that his buddy's sister Ophelia has got the hots for him. Who should he choose? Are you kidding me? Why should he choose?



A Tale of Two Cities
Two identical dudes fall for the same chick. The chick is none the wiser that there are two dudes, so they can both get the chick and get a little action on the side. Was it the worst of times? No way, it was the best of times, dog.



Little Women
Four young ladies living in the middle of nowhere. When one of them dies, the other three have to comfort each other. They start with hugging and kissing each others' tears away. I think you know what happens next, friend.



The Grapes of Wrath
A bunch of guys get together to ride their motocross bikes across the country to California to find girls. When one of them gets hurt, they stop in wine country and meet girls named Rose and Sharon who agree to "nurse" the injured guy back to health.



The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
A long poem which neatly captures the dilemma of the modern man: plagued by indecision, bewildered by women, wondering how to connect with others. The poet asserts that all men must ask themselves, finally, the heart-rending questions "Do I dare disturb the universe?" and "Do I dare to eat a peach?"
If by "peach" you mean "pussy‚" Maxim says belly up to the bar, J-Man.




Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
likeadeuce
Sep. 27th, 2004 09:19 am (UTC)
hee! if you think Maxim is funny (and I don't mean intentionally so), then read this: Best Book Review Ever.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2004 09:27 am (UTC)
I knew you'd like that bit. Oh, Jeebus, that article was awesome. And on the other hand it makes me sad inside to know those dicks are published. "Finally, some fucking." Our little band o' writers can top that chapter in our sleep.

Get back to me on the whistling and running thing. Emily and I have been trying for days to accomplish either of them and are failing miserably.
likeadeuce
Sep. 27th, 2004 09:31 am (UTC)
I'm still trying to figure out what you're describing with the running. fill me in.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2004 09:38 am (UTC)
lemme 'splain. there is no time. Lemme summup.
When you walk or run, your arms alternate with your legs. Leg leg leads, right arm is back. it's a balancing thing. you can do a goofy WALK where you make the left arm match the left leg, but you CANNOT RUN. You can do an odd hopping thing, but I don't believe you can run with your arms matching your stride. It's fun to try! Run a lap or two around your desk and see if you can do it.

You also cannot remain angry while lying on your back with your knees drawn up and held to your chest. My aunt proved that to us arguing kids on a regular basis.
likeadeuce
Sep. 27th, 2004 09:40 am (UTC)
Re: lemme 'splain. there is no time. Lemme summup.
by god, I think you're right. i'm also glad there's no one here to see me.

I can't whistle at all. or snap my fingers. I need to get off.

the computer that is.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2004 09:42 am (UTC)
"I need to get off. The computer, that is."
sheah. right. Soo glad I paid that undegrad student to install that webcam in your place now...
vincitveritas
Sep. 27th, 2004 10:19 am (UTC)
elle driver's whistling in the hospital scene is evil in a roundabout way, don't you think? i always try to whistle a tune, but it usually just sounds like the same note.

so that whole running thing...uh yeah, not happening. haha. i feel stupid.
stoney321
Sep. 27th, 2004 01:42 pm (UTC)
Maybe, but it still sounds snappy. I want the equivalent of a funeral dirge to be produced my puckered lips.

THE RUNNING THING IS IMPOSSIBLE! (to resist)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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