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Best. Job. EVER.

Last night was our first full-cast rehearsal. #1, it's REALLY freaking funny and #2, the lead male is REALLY freaking hot. What has two thumbs and gets to grab his crotch? This girl!


First, I have to say that the other female lead looks like she could be Sarah Michelle Gellar's taller, freckled twin. I kept staring at her face, waiting for her to say something Buffy-esque. (She didn't.) I have to grope her character, too, so I can channel my inner-Faith and have at it. \o/ Hahaha. Bless her young little heart, she thought I was younger than my 27 year old sister. *loves this girl like whoa* That's what good clean living will do for your skin, ladies.

That and smearing tequila directly into your pores. (My theory is the aloe that tequila's made from is preserving me from the inside out.)

But let me talk about "Bone." Yes, that's his character's name, and yes, I get to make sexual innuendos about it. He's Indian and has the most gorgeous skin and eyes. Plus, coal black hair. Oh, and an ass that won't quit. How do I know this? Because 1/4 of the movie has me groping and grabbing it. \o/ and \o/ I also get to grab his crotch. <-- being polite with terminology. I pretty much grab two handfuls of his cock-n-balls and won't let go. I felt that we needed to block that action last night and really get it down. *cough* And dadgumit if I didn't mess up a line a few times where I have him pinned against the wall, rubbing myself up and down him... Ahahahaha! He was a great sport about it and is really funny.

And hot. Don't forget the hot. Best day of work ever, y'all. *cracks up*

WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE AHEAD. One of my favorite lines has the following in it (as I come on to SMG-lite) "I got a clit like a thumb and a tongue like a lasso that can rope and wrangle your cute little pink cunt button and-" She cuts me off here. AHAHAHAHA. It's like the bad!fic fairies sprinkled my life with their magic dust!

It was so much fun to be in a room of creative, funny people working on something again. The director and the asst. director are both very funny and really know what makes sense on screen, so I have high hopes for the end result.

The AD was talking to "Bone" about a fight scene he will have with Nicholas Brendon's character (not there last night, sadly) and Bone asked if Nicky was a big guy. The director said, "Yeah, he's pretty big. Big guy." I jumped in with "he was in the minor leagues wanting to go pro when he injured his arm, and that's when he got into acting and two years later got the Buffy job." They all looked at me like I was a stalker. HEY. I PAY ATTENTION, OKAY?

In other words: I cannot wait until our next rehearsal this weekend! Then comes filming and NB and me becoming BFF and going to the Oscars together as best pals being completely professional. :D

Also, I received a mysterious package in the mail yesterday from a certain miss anelith! Anne! Thank you so much for those books! I was very excited to see they were the ones you had mentioned in your post, thank you! Mr. S beamed at the box for a few minutes and kept repeating, "She is just a sweetheart." YES SHE IS. <3 <3 <3

It's Hump Day, people! The week's half-way done! [ETA] I knew I was forgetting something: the baby buns! They've doubled in size, so now they're three inches long. EEEEEE! Their leetle earses are getting longer - no cottontails yet - and we're having to hide our Evil Cats away as Hope decided to go GET one and bring it back to the house!! NO, HOPE!! (It wasn't hurt) I carried he's leetle, sheevery self back to his warren (now surrounded by bricks to keep critters away) and watched him hop back to his brothers and seesters. SO. SCHWEET. <3

Comments

( 70 comments — Leave a comment )
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harmonyfb
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:14 pm (UTC)
"Wait, I get to grope and rub up against a hot guy and you're gonna pay me for it?"

Best job evah, indeed.
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, man, seriously!! And he's a really nice and funny guy. I almost feel bad for him: he has no idea of the makeup/get up they're putting on me. :D
elisi
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:23 pm (UTC)
This post will have me smiling for the rest of the day! You go girl! :D
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:25 pm (UTC)
YAY!!

Oh my goodness, I cannot WAIT to get the full costume on, get my fake nails painted into American flags with pierced dangles on the pinkies, the trashy shorts and tank... YAYAYAYAY!!!
_tayler
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:32 pm (UTC)
OMG!!!

*dies*

I suppose it would be totally unprofessional to ask "Bone" for pictures of his sweet ass!
Not to mention his cock n balls!

O.K. I admit that might be going too far?
;P

I'll have to settle for living vicariously through your vivid descriptions...and thank-you for that Hon!!
*glomps*
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:43 pm (UTC)
Ahahahaha! WE SHALL SEE. And he wears a wife-beater, and while not of the... girth and size of the handsome David Boreanaz, I can definitely squint and pretend it is. Heeeeeee!

I'll keep those descriptions coming, then! :D
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tinpanalley
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:49 pm (UTC)

It's going be SO much fun reading about all of this!
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:59 pm (UTC)
Wheee! It's going to be so much fun to DO it!
southernbangel
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:00 pm (UTC)
I jumped in with "he was in the minor leagues wanting to go pro when he injured his arm, and that's when he got into acting and two years later got the Buffy job." They all looked at me like I was a stalker. HEY. I PAY ATTENTION, OKAY?

I WOULD DO THAT, TOO. PLEASE DO THAT WHEN YOU MEET NB.

The clit line still has me laughing as much as the back door one. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GET TO SAY THESE THINGS. Seriously, it's like your favorite bad!fic writer blessed the script with her words!

<3 <3 <3 <3

stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, the things I get to say!! It makes me so happy. After the first delivery of the clit/thumb line, everyone was cracking up and I beamed at them all and said, "I'm a mom! I can't wait for my kids to see this movie!" AHahahahaha.

WHEEEEE!! Oh my god, Lee, the COSTUME. The COSTUME!!!
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brandil
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:02 pm (UTC)
BEST LINE EVER!!!
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:08 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, and THAT'S not the FILTHIEST! Wheeee!

Oh, here's something that you'll totally laugh at: so, the pants I'm wearing are elastic waist, cheap denim, back-pocketless pants. With a one inch inseam. ONE INCH. We "dressed them up" with black lace under the hem, so it hangs down? I've been calling those her Funeral Britches. The black lace makes 'em solemn enough fer a funeral.

I would imagine this character to put rhinestones and white lace on some daisy dukes fer her weddin' outfit. And a sequin covered white bikini top. And of course, the clear heels. AHAHAHAHA.
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kita0610
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:06 pm (UTC)
*sporfles!*

You go girl.
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:09 pm (UTC)
Oh, man. I'm having so much fun, it should be outlawed. :D
a2zmom
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:27 pm (UTC)
You have the best life ever.

Did you see the picture of the bunnies that were living in my garden? Cute and evil, all at once.
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:34 pm (UTC)
Ooooh, I didn't!! That was your last garden post, right? I meant to click later, and then... I didn't. DERP!! I'm off to check them out!

(The mama bun isn't devouring the garden, really. But then, we're letting the backyard go fallow since we'll be ripping it all up once the pool construction starts this winter.)
tabaqui
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)
Oooooh, man - what kind of movie has lines like that??
*flails*
FTW!
:)

Man, i knew a chick on my bus in high school that chewed.
*shudder*
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:37 pm (UTC)
A hilarious over-the-top horror comedy, that's what! *G*

\o/

Ewww, my first husband quit smoking for me. By... dipping snuff. *pukes* (We'll use the insides of Fig Newtons to simulate snuff. *g*)
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poshcat
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)
Honestly, I'm speechless. I can only imagine you practicing your lines with your hubby. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

This is the craziest thing ever. I would kill for pictures of this stuff. KILL LIKE ZOMBIE.
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:38 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, the funny thing has been that the Mister has been working crazy hours, so I've been running lines by myself in my closet because my children have had their church-y friends over every day!

"Mommy, Mrs. Stoney said her clit's like a thumb. What's a clit?"

I'm bringing my camera to the full-dress rehearsal and the filming days, so you'll get some!!
lynnenne
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:03 pm (UTC)
I felt that we needed to block that action last night and really get it down.

Hahahahahahahahahaha! This truly is the best job ever!!
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:39 pm (UTC)
*siiiiiigh* Yeah, I just wanted to make sure we really understood the meaning behind the full cock grab. I wanted to get inside her head and really connect.

By giving it a firm squeeze/slide. WHAT?! I'M METHOD.
mpoetess
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:29 pm (UTC)
kajsdhfksdjfhdlkjfh.

WHORE.

<3
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:40 pm (UTC)
Oh, yeah! Trailer, snuff-dippin', blue mascara wearing whore!

FTW. (hee!)
soundingsea
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:34 pm (UTC)
Hah. Your film sounds so fun. :)

And baby bunnies! Eeeeeeeeee.
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:41 pm (UTC)
So far, so fun! My hope is it will just get better and better.

OMG, the bunnies are SO CUTE. There are 6 of them, all teeny and furry and round! <3
marenfic
Aug. 22nd, 2007 07:13 pm (UTC)
You know what makes me happy about your lines? I can actually hear you saying them in my head. It's like I'm hearing my Stoney-voice talking kinda dirty to me.

Just don't tell me to kill anyone.
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
*tells you to give me money*
Oh my god, I will totally call you up and perform all of my lines to you.

...or we can save it for the girls weekend coming up. (Add a STRONG hick accent and you've got it.)
moosesal
Aug. 22nd, 2007 08:04 pm (UTC)
Your coworkers sound way better than mine. ;-) Thanks for cracking me up.
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 09:16 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, they are GREAT! I'm the Bruiser of this group, LOL.
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chantal87
Aug. 22nd, 2007 08:51 pm (UTC)
Have I told you how much I love the fact that you are a "Whore" in this film.
It's super awesome!
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 09:17 pm (UTC)
Oh my goodness, it's making me SO HAPPY. One shot has me standing next to my "husband" wiping blood and gore off my naked limbs, and I decided that Lynnette (my character) would totally check the inside of her britches and dig around for more gore.

We'll see if that gets cut. :D
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 09:22 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, it was touch and go for a bit... And when one of the characters "Roy" delivers his lines, I had to bury my face in my arm to keep from howling with laughter. He is SO PERFECT and hilarious.

(I've been jotting down lines to fill in blanks in case of someone missing their cue, or taking a moment to catch their breath. Things like, "Honey, I cain't understand a word you's saying, it's like you're a deaf mute with a mouth full uh molasses." And so forth. Ahaha.)

Oooooh, so far I'm very much enjoying Vellum! Lyrical prose and the idea is freaking AWESOME. I can't thank you enough for thinking of me! I'm very touched, sweetheart.
(Deleted comment)
liz_marcs
Aug. 22nd, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, my gawd! I wanna job where I can write "clit like a thumb" and get away with it! Best. Job. Evar!!!!!

And bunnies! Yay bunnies!
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 10:48 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, I know, right?!?! And as I said in another comment up there, that's not even my dirtiest line. I will NEVER let my children watch this movie.

:D

And what can we make for bunnies? =:D maybe? Heh.
ruric
Aug. 22nd, 2007 09:55 pm (UTC)
OMG so much fun - can't wait to read all about it *g*
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 10:48 pm (UTC)
I'll keep y'all posted - it's just too crazy to not share, you know? *beams*
altyronsmaker
Aug. 22nd, 2007 10:13 pm (UTC)
Oh I hate you so hard right now! Hahaha! *sigh* With the raunchy dialog and grabbing a hot guys *ahem*package*ahem* AND Nicky? Oh how I hate you....


You know you absolutely must keep us informed. It's a moral imperative.
stoney321
Aug. 22nd, 2007 10:49 pm (UTC)
Don't hate the Playah, hate the game! Or. You know. Um, make that work for you.

And like I wouldn't keep everyone abreast! It's too fun!
dlgood
Aug. 23rd, 2007 12:23 am (UTC)
Now I may have to watch this.

I jumped in with "he was in the minor leagues wanting to go pro when he injured his arm, and that's when he got into acting and two years later got the Buffy job." They all looked at me like I was a stalker.


Perhaps. But it will be really amusing if you run into him, and spend all of the time talking about baseball, and none of the time talking about Buffy. What am I supposed to put up to dare you into doing that>?
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 01:36 am (UTC)
Ha! Oh, man. If only I knew the intricate details of baseball, I would take you up on it!

...now, if he wanted to talk Cowboys, I'd be all over that. :D
violethamster
Aug. 23rd, 2007 12:29 am (UTC)
Hahahahahaha! And pix pls. So we can enjoy your exciting life vicariously. Also bunnies.
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 01:37 am (UTC)
I plan on bringing a camera to the set the next rehearsal, and when we film. I want to document my moment of glory! And also Bone's hot ass and LOTS OF NB.

(I need to take my film - I'm so old school - to get developed to show you the wee tiny babies of bunitude!)
lumenara
Aug. 23rd, 2007 01:57 am (UTC)
Made of awesome. And CLASS. Hee.

*waits for footage*
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 01:25 pm (UTC)
Oh, yeah. "Lynette" is nothing BUT class. (All of it third, but still. Classy Lassie.)
wildrosesings
Aug. 23rd, 2007 02:11 am (UTC)
Definitely an awesome job! Especially if you get to say that superfantastic line over and over again...
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 01:26 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, I *did*! The girl I'm saying it to kept cracking up so we had take after take, me getting more and more into it (read: disgusting) every time.

\o/
petzipellepingo
Aug. 23rd, 2007 08:27 am (UTC)
EW check out Big Love , needless to say - you were right.
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 01:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the link!
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