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"How bleak was my puberty!"

Thanks to petzipellipingo for sending me a link to Entertainment Weekly's report on Big Love and its accuracy. In other words: it's juuuust like I told y'all. Crazy people, fer seriouz. One thing that boggles me, is the "expert" on Utah polygamy didn't notice the HUGE HIGHWAY SIGN that barb passes on her way to the casino reading: WENDOVER. That's right on the border of Nevada and Utah, a straight shot west on Highway 80. My dad and aunt MaryAnn hit the tables every time we come up for a visit. (Some wards - parishes - send members as spies to the casino parking lots to write down license plate numbers to bust the Mormon gamblers. Mormons aren't supposed to gamble, you see. You're supposed to give that money to the CHURCH.)

If you want to read more stuff (*cough* things I've blogged about *cough) you can see the SLC Tribune's REGULAR COLUMN on polygamy here. Can you stand it? There's a regular weekly update on all the plygs?! The Warren Jeffs trial is underway, and it's fascinating. They brought up a missing toddler of one of his lackeys that was kicked out of the church for... displeasing Jeffs. I can bet you diamonds to donuts that Jeffs had the baby taken away to teach that guy a lesson under the guise of "we want the child to be raised in the Principle." (And he most likely took the guy';s wife to be his own. I mean, that's just standard issue policy, there.) I also bet that this will come up in S3 of Big Love with Alby taking Joey's baby, or something. Mark my words.

(Side note, I didn't realize Jeffs was being held in Hurricane - Hurrikin is how it's pronounced - which is a short 45 minute drive to the compounds of Short Creek, aka Colorado City. That seems... too close to his supporters. Huh.)

Comments

( 48 comments — Leave a comment )
pernickety
Aug. 23rd, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC)
send members as spies to the casino parking lots to write down license plate numbers to bust the Mormon gamblers. Whoa there.

I sporfled when I read in the article that the UEP owns gambling machines.
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 03:31 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, I know, right? My favorite bizarre fact is how the Fundamentalists don't believe man went to the moon, and yet the UEP sells NASA the iron-rich soil that makes the protective coating on the shuttles.

Y HALO THAR HYPOCRISY!
pernickety
Aug. 23rd, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
Maybe it's their recruitment strategy. Once they've got all our money in their gambling machines, have bled dry the government via Nasa and the world is in despair over what happens next they'll show up and say: Ya' know, we give loans to believers. *nudgenudge*signhere*nudgenudge*

Just sayin'. Subtle hustle.
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 04:22 pm (UTC)
Bwah!!

THe FLDS does have the mindset that gambling, liquor, and other "vices" are fine to profit off of, as long as THEY don't participate. They also scam the government out of millions of dollars, because the govt. is corrupt. They call it "bleeding the beast." Uh...

I guess if that's how you need to sleep at night? o_0
pernickety
Aug. 23rd, 2007 04:28 pm (UTC)
From now on I will use "bleeding the beast" as my excuse for EVERYTHING. Hahaha. That's so perfect I want to cry. :D
beer_good_foamy
Aug. 23rd, 2007 02:47 pm (UTC)
awkward teen sex fics

I just wrote this last night. They don't actually even manage to get down and dirty, but... things definitely go wrong.
beer_good_foamy
Aug. 23rd, 2007 02:48 pm (UTC)
Oh, and as always, thanks a lot for your comments on Big Love. Very informative, very scary. (And if they kill Roman, I'm gonna be pissed.)
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 03:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks for the fic link!! It's going straight to my delicious page to be read at leisure. \o/

And you know... I really REALLY think they'll have him languish for a brief period and then off him. The story is just following too closely to real life events. Plus, Alby in charge = super scary!!
southernbangel
Aug. 23rd, 2007 02:52 pm (UTC)
How much do I love Lucas? A whole hell of a lot, that's how much. Cappy!! It cracks me up that the makeup artists do a poor job of covering CS's tattoo in the high school basement scene. Heeeee!! He's the All-American Jock with a Heart of Gold, he can't have a tattoo!!

My dad still cries at the movie to this day. When Lucas pulls the jacket out of his locker. . . *tears up*

I LOVE LUCAS.
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 03:27 pm (UTC)
ME TOO!! But it turns out that it's not a good movie to work out to, so I had to pop in "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels." Much better. :D

(Plus, I'm always more comfortable with British men on screen, because they like chicks with juicy bums and boobs.) Ahahaha.
southernbangel
Aug. 23rd, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)
I love that movie, too!! I enjoy Guy Ritchie movies. Except that horrible remake he did with Madonna.

The other day I saw an article about Doctor Who and Catherine Tate. The article described her as "Catherine 'Am I bovvered' Tate" and naturally, I immediately thought of us driving around Birmingham with you saying, "Am I bovvered? Do I look bovvered? Look at my face. Am I bovvered?" HEEEEEEE!!!

WIN.
elfgirl
Aug. 23rd, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC)
I adore Auntie Mame (but only the Rosalind Russell version, not Lucille Ball :P). It's actually up fairly soon in my Netflix cue.

BTW, I saw your post about the rehearsal yesterday but couldn't comment. Cute Native American guy = WIN. ;)
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 03:29 pm (UTC)
I've never even seen the Lucille Ball version, because the Rosalind Russell version is PERFECTION. <3

Oh, whoops, no, Indian as in India! :D Still = HOT.
elfgirl
Aug. 23rd, 2007 03:36 pm (UTC)
HEE! Indian guys can be smokin' hot, so YUM. Also, hot guys regardless of nationality = WIN, so it's all good. ♥
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 04:00 pm (UTC)
Mmmm hmmm, that's right. I watched an entire movie that was utter CRAP just to catch sight of this totally hot Asian guy. He rang every one of my bells.

Goodness, I love me some menfolk. :D
a2zmom
Aug. 23rd, 2007 03:34 pm (UTC)
Working out to "auntie Mame"? I love it.

Are you still doing a walking program or do you basiclly run? (I think running would kill my knees. And I'm up to am hour a day. wheee!)
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 03:47 pm (UTC)
No, my knees are shot, so I can only run on an elliptical treadmill. When I'm not using that (and I warm up on it if I'm not going to completely workout indoors) I walk outside. And an hour is FANTASTIC!! You're really getting a tremendous benefit from that much exercise!
ljgould
Aug. 23rd, 2007 04:01 pm (UTC)
Ahh...Auntie Mame. I love that movie. Every actor is perfectly cast. It's been a favorite for years! It's a total feel-good movie for me.

I had a visit from the Mormon missionaries yesterday. Strangely, they got a little defensive when I started questioning them about plural marriage and some of the other things you've informed me about in your posts. Maybe they'll put me on a black list or something and avoid my door from now on. Now if I could just get rid of the Jehovah's Witnesses! Any ideas?
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC)
Heee, I LOVE that movie, too. "Oh, no! I'm just house bound. Claude's the clever one!"

Hahahaha, I love the kismet of them showing up at your door!! And if you can find a way to turn off the Jehovah's Witnesses, do share with the rest of us. ;D
midnightsjane
Aug. 24th, 2007 05:20 am (UTC)
And if you can find a way to turn off the Jehovah's Witnesses, do share with the rest of us.
Well....how's this? (a true story, I swear!) Years ago, I was visiting hippy type friends in the country; they lived way off the road, totally private. One afternoon two dudes in dark suits came walking down the dirt road..our first thoughts were that they were either JWs or Narcs. JWs they were, and started giving us the spiel. My friend's wife came wandering up from the river, stark naked, saw what was up, and walked right up to said dudes: they turned tail and ran! Never came back.
dancetomato
Aug. 23rd, 2007 05:22 pm (UTC)
For the JW's, ask them, "With over six million JW's, and only 144,000 slots to get into heaven, why would you want to convert me? I might take one of those slots and you'll get stuck with the dregs on the new earth."
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:06 pm (UTC)
Not to mention the City of Enuch already existing there, and that's got to be a good 20,000 plus.

Maybe we could print cards that say, "I'm already guaranteed a spot. 126,932 of 144,000."
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC)
City of ENOCH. Enoch. Not a city of eunuchs, which sounds like hell on earth. Or the best cunnilingus ever.
floweringjudas
Aug. 24th, 2007 02:05 am (UTC)
Tell 'em you're Mormon.

...Seriously. Worked for me. XD
tabaqui
Aug. 23rd, 2007 04:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, Mame! Gloria with her Long Island Lock Jaw and Agnes! Sweet Agnes!!
"Maybe that wasn't Gary Cooper! Maybe it was Brian! And the girl was...was..."
"Oh, think, Agnes, think!"

"The girl was me! I'm a bride!!"

Heeeeeeeee!

"Is Auntie Vera asleep in the guest room again?"

"Since Sunday, dear."

*snorfles*

Okay, okay, i stop. I have pretty much all bits of that movie memorized. And my sister and i quote it back and forth at each other.
*la*

The whole Mormon/polygomy thing creeps me out so fucking much. *Why* are these people still practicing this shite? Why are they *allowed* to?
*shudder*
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 05:54 pm (UTC)
"Do you enjoy gin?" "Oh, yes! I absolutely adore it!" "Good! We'll get the cards out after dinner."

I love that my husband loves it as much as me; he does a fantastic Connecticut/Restricted accent. :D

And seriously - it's fucking CRAZY that no one pursues those law breakers! A lot of it is how expensive it is: you take the dad away and you've got 20-30 kids on welfare/in foster care. Also, the Mormons still secretly believe in polygamy, so they just shrug their shoulders and make faces at their more embarrassing kinfolk. o_0
tabaqui
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC)
It's grotesque, really. And all that crap in Mitt Romney's background, his grandparents and whatnot, and his switching of sides at the church's dictates... Fuck that. And! The kids who're taken away and dumped like freakin' *puppies* or something... I honestly do wish the govt. would just quietly step in and disband and whatever. I know how that sounds but....gah.

"I like the English lady, she's nice."

"Oh, Miss Charles isn't from England, dear. She's from Pittsburgh."

"She sounds like she's from England."

"Well, when you're from Pittsburgh you have to do *something*."

*glee*
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:18 pm (UTC)
Shall we go meet the hounds? "Yeah, I'd love to meet your family."

Oh, look at your lovely icon!! Best mourning dress, or best mourning dress EVER? y/y?
tabaqui
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
OH, yis. I want a mourning dress like that! Err...
You know what i mean. :)
"Mame, couldn't you have gone to purple by now?"

*snerk*

"Veeeera...and staunch, stalwart Lindsey, it's so wonderful, really, so touching to see you, gathered around this bereft old woman...what's that?"

"That's your typewriter and your Dictaphone."

"And what's that?"

"I'm your sponge!"
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:48 pm (UTC)
"Does it mix with Dr. Pepper?"

"I'm sure he'll love it"

I seriously would wear any outfit she wears in that movie.
tabaqui
Aug. 23rd, 2007 07:11 pm (UTC)
OH, man, so would i! I love, also, Vera's brown satin dress that she wears in the final scene the 'family dinner party' at Mame's house for the Upsons.

"Well well well well well well well...what...is it?"

"Well, you take two cans of tuna fish and run them through the meat grinder, then add clam juice and peanut butter! It's a recipe i got out of the Ladies' Home Journal. These others are just plain Jack cheese and chutney."

I love when Mame hurls the hors d'oeuvres over her shoulder, and then the daiquiri with honey. Heeee!
soundingsea
Aug. 23rd, 2007 05:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, man. Auntie Mame! I *love* that movie. One of my sisters used to know it by heart and recite it all the time. :)
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 05:54 pm (UTC)
It's seriously one of the best pick-me-ups around. And I always come away wanting some sequined capris with a fabulous dress/cape to swoop around in. :D
dancetomato
Aug. 23rd, 2007 05:18 pm (UTC)
Totally with you on the awkward first time fics. It's one of the reasons I love frottage--that awkward, accidental discovery that if we just rub ourselves against each other, we can come in our pants. GUH.

I was thinking today, I would like to know the status of your pool build. Please to be updating.
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 05:57 pm (UTC)
Mmmmmm, frottage. Now you're making me want to go back and read (and write more of) my boarding school VK fic. Sex without the sex. It's how I grew up... Hahaha!

And since the housing market (and refi market) has turned to shit, we decided to wait until this fall when the mister gets his bonus so we can pay for it outright. Plus, we've had crappy weather here, and our pool man has 10 projects on hold, so he wouldn't have been able to start until late September/October any way. :( But! With the hot tub ready to go for winter? I'm good with that! Fortunately we live a block away from our neighborhood's pool, and it's a good one. It'll do. FOR NOW.
southernbangel
Aug. 23rd, 2007 11:31 pm (UTC)
With the hot tub ready to go for winter?

Yeeeeah, I'll totally be busting in on that action.
stoney321
Aug. 24th, 2007 12:09 am (UTC)
Awww, yeah!

Incidentally, we just got back from the Elem. to drop off supplies and meet the girls' teachers. Eeeee! (Also, The Boy's old teacher - who lives around the corner from us - expressed her sorrow at not seeing him on his bike this summer. Evidently he used to ride past her house in hopes of running in to her. !!!!)
cityphonelines
Aug. 23rd, 2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
AUNTIE MAME FTW! I love that movie. I did tech for the play back in HS (back when I thought my life's calling was to be a famous make-up artist/producer/actress) and it was so much fun.

Hey people! Where're the awkward first time fic recs??? *contributes nothing*
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC)
Everytime we watch Mame in my house, my husband always flashes back to his high school production and how good "Jeneanne was in the part of Agnes." :D

And yeah! Where are the recs? beer_good_foamy linked one, but other than that, nada!

Here's mine (from my own stash):

Win:Coll School For Boys (Vincent Kartheiser/Peter Mosely) AU RPS
Things They Should Have Taught Us In School (Ron/Hermione)
(and if you squint) 5 Times Will and Sacha Kissed When They Didn't Have To (Will Ferrell/Sacha Baron Cohen)
femmenerd
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC)
Lucas! omg, I watched that so many times back in the day.

I'm sad. Why aren't more people coming in here and linking you to awkward!teensex fics? Er. Huh, I think most of the ones I've got bookmarked are SPN and that's not your thing, so.

*contemplates*
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:16 pm (UTC)
I am willing to read out of my areas of knowledge! Link away.

And I'm all :( over the lack of links, too! You know what this means, right? TO THE FIC MOBILE! *slides across the hood*
femmenerd
Aug. 23rd, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
Okay!

Well, only one person in this fic is a teenager, but there's awkward and it's well written. SPN, pre-series. Dean/OFC.

I'm betting that the things on my Matt/Julie FNL tag probably fit.

And hmmmm, [this fic] by winterlive is one of the more authentic teenage, budding sexuality blah blah thingies I've read. It's Jared/OFC but you don't need to know or care anything about Supernatural to enjoy it.

Argggggh. I feel like I must know of more....like frottage fics. And not just het either.

Humph.

Um, ones that I wrote:

Sam Winchester/OFC mutual masturbation. That one actually really doesn't require any canon knowledge whatsoever.

Sam Winchester/OMC in high school.

Sam getting devirginized by a slightly older girl.

Um, dry humping in a janitor's closet?

Fuck. I feel lame that I'm mostly self reccing. MORE PEOPLE NEED TO START WRITING STORIES LIKE THIS.

Oh! And also, [My Ron/Hermione Tag].


(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Aug. 23rd, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
It's so fabulously 50s theater but on screen! Rosalind Russell will make you wish you had taken twenty years of ballet so you could flow down a set of stairs in haute coutre as well as she does. :D

(And the child isn't missing like, abducted. The Church took a wife and child away from the father, and he can't find them. The Church knows where they are, they're just not talking. HORRIBLE.)
beadbeauty
Aug. 24th, 2007 03:33 am (UTC)
I LOVE auntie Mame! That was on AMC the other night and I watched it. I want her house. Good times.

Sorry I missed your call today- I am adding concrete to our dining room (raising it 4 inches) so we have been prepping that room- moving the piano, my desk, computer, putting plastic on the walls, etc. Lots of work this is involving!

OK- I'll be around a little bit tomorrow morning but after that I'll be diving in again with the room... they pour 8:30am Sat!!!
stoney321
Aug. 24th, 2007 12:29 pm (UTC)
Oh, man, that is a ton of work! I'll give you a call later today once your kids are off to school.
darlas_mom
Aug. 25th, 2007 09:15 am (UTC)
I doubt it's POSSIBLE for you not to have read this, but just in case: Chapter...21, I think? of shoebox_project. James and Lily's first time goes badly, badly wrong. It's my fave. :-)
stoney321
Aug. 25th, 2007 01:19 pm (UTC)
Oh, thanks!! You're like.. the ONLY person that gave me links! (Wait, beer_good_foamy did, too. YAY FOR YOU TWO!)
( 48 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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