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So, I just got back from Superbad. I loved it. LOVED. IT. BUT! First: I took my vitamins as I was walking out the door and the last one felt weird going down, like it was stuck. You know that feeling. I kept swallowing and swallowing, trying to force that stretched out feeling away. I park my car at the theater, get out, cough, and POWDER COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH. I am freaking out, because who hasn't heard the old wives tale of the person whose esophagus was eaten away by an improperly swallowed pill? (Is that just something I was told to be freaked out by? Well, it worked. [ETA] OH! And it's REAL.)

So I'm all panicking that my throat is going to burn away like I swallowed boric acid, and I'm going to straight away buy a drink and fix it, right? I go get my tickets, and there are two dudes in front of me: one large and in charge, the other like he's been stretched out in a taffy pull. (Just like the guys in Superbad! Except well over 6 feet, the twain of them.) The lady behind the booth asks them for ID and they get all huffy and affronted, "Seriously? I don't even need ID for bars, how hilarious that you need this. Ha ha ha. I'm 24." And they make a big show of how much of a pain in their ass this is. (Are you thinking not old enough? Me, too.) I go to get mine, she cards me, I say thank you (because come on. My kid started junior high today.) and go to get a Coke. These two knuckleheads stand behind me and start chatting me up!

"Hey, you coming to see Superbad? It's awesome. We've seen it, like, twice already." Okay. I show I'm not interested, just need a drink to keep from dying via acid throat, get my soda, go sit down and chug it. (My neck did not, in fact, dissolve. In case you were worried.) The two guys come in and climb over chairs (because steps are hard you guys, zomg) and sit RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. There are 10 people in the theater. Um... Well. One of the dudes, the taffy-pull guy, has a shirt that reads:

I

hot moms.


Ahahahahahaha!! They keep laughing at jokes in the movie and checking to see if I'm laughing!! They WAVED GOODBYE when the credits rolled, after sitting there for a while whispering. Awwwww! I feel like a MILF. Bless their little hearts. Okay, now I have to go pick up my GROWN UP MANCHILD who probably has a mustache and a draft form for me to sign. *stomps off* hee!

Comments

( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
madam_rptr
Aug. 27th, 2007 08:12 pm (UTC)
1) of course you're a MILF! duh!

2) I love that you chose a (acidy) coke to wash down what you thought to be some sort of acidy substance eating away at your throat tissues…lolz
stoney321
Aug. 27th, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
1) \o/ *sends you your monthly salary*

2) hahahaha, but come on! I couldn't sit in a movie theater with a MILK! Oh, dammit. I could have gotten CHOCOLATE milk. D'oh! ;)
southernbangel
Aug. 27th, 2007 08:29 pm (UTC)
I'd replace DB with you in this icon, you're so gd hot
Superbad: best movie ever or best movie EVER? I want to fuck George Michael. (Wait, he is of age, right?)

AND OF COURSE YOU'RE A MILF. (Hahaha, I almost wrote "DILF." Obvs I was thinking of Mr. Stoney. HAHAHAHA.) Dude, I'm not gay but even I wanna sex you up. So when I come in September, you'll be coming, if you get my drift. HAHAHAHA. *remembers to bring plenty of lube*

Oh god, I'm so nervous about tonight. WTF?
stoney321
Aug. 27th, 2007 08:42 pm (UTC)
it's going to be totally fun!! He's CLEARLY into you and your adorableness (read: awkwardness) and you will have LOADS of fun!

Oh my goodness, he is SO WONDERFUL in this movie!! And I thought I might get sick of McLovin, but I NEVER DID. <3

*sings Color Me Badd and gets ready, chicky bow!*
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yohopiratesyoho
Aug. 27th, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
Ok, I never heard the wives tale about that... but... ok. Yay for you being hit on by guys that love hot moms! What a confidence booster, even though they sound a bit like losers, lol. :)
stoney321
Aug. 27th, 2007 08:43 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD. you just totally put down the guys that kept me from sitting in my garage with the car running!!! [/emo]

HEEEEE. And really? Never heard of that one? Clearly I know horrible rotten people that play up my fears...
semby
Aug. 27th, 2007 09:44 pm (UTC)
Haha! Go you, attracting the kiddies.

And I'm very glad that your neck didn't dissolve. Even though I'd never heard of that happening before. But now I'll probably be afraid of that happening forever.

And I can't wait to see Superbad!
stoney321
Aug. 27th, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, they may have actually *been* 24 like they claimed. Or you know... 16 going on 24. :D

ZOMG it was SO CLOSE, my neck dissolving! Oh, the bitter irony of dying from vitamins...

It's REALLY FUN. Def. will be owning that DVD.
illcoveryou_x
Aug. 27th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
I am freaking out, because who hasn't heard the old wives tale of the person whose esophagus was eaten away by an improperly swallowed pill? (Is that just something I was told to be freaked out by? Well, it worked.)

I was told that too! And now I think about it every time I swallow a pill! It's good to know your throat did not dissolve though :)

Awe, your grown up manchild.
stoney321
Aug. 27th, 2007 10:00 pm (UTC)
*clings!!* Okay, so it ISN'T just me!! But rest assured should this ever happen to you, YOUR THROAT WILL NOT DISSOLVE. (hee! I was seriously freaked, though. Good hell, me.)

Hahaha, he did not come home with a mustache nor an anchor tattoo, so he's still my little guy. (Heee, he's Hogwarts First Year old!)
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sweetumms33
Aug. 27th, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC)
Yea you are a MILF!

stoney321
Aug. 28th, 2007 12:09 pm (UTC)
Damn straight! *sends you a fifty dollar check for services rendered* Hee!
pernickety
Aug. 27th, 2007 10:54 pm (UTC)
There you go, robbin' the cradles.
stoney321
Aug. 27th, 2007 11:08 pm (UTC)
Psssh. My philosphy: Out of diapers? Bone 'em.

NOTE TO LJ/6A: I am joking. :D
dancetomato
Aug. 27th, 2007 11:01 pm (UTC)
If hot moms were all like you, I'd get that t-shirt too.

I am DESPERATE to see Superbad.
stoney321
Aug. 27th, 2007 11:10 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA. The T shirt was really awesome - all 70s iron-on looking. And boy, do I love me some iron-ons.

Superbad was FUNNY. This is a rare treat for me to see a movie in a theater. Whoo hoo, school's in session!

<3
pluckygirl
Aug. 27th, 2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
I should never be drinking (any type of liquid) when I read you. You make me laugh and the soda comes out my nose. I now have soda nose which is kinda like an acid throat if you think about it. Thanks for the laughs!!!
stoney321
Aug. 27th, 2007 11:50 pm (UTC)
OH EM GEE, acid nose is JUST THE SAME as acid throat!! *gives you soda* Wait, that only works on acid throat...

:D
a2zmom
Aug. 27th, 2007 11:37 pm (UTC)
You should have told your admirers that you're an actress currently filming your latest role. They would have followed you home.
stoney321
Aug. 27th, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, yay! JUST WHAT I WANT. [sarcasm] :D (They really would have if I mentioned it was a skeezy slut I was playing...)
moosesal
Aug. 27th, 2007 11:53 pm (UTC)
LOL. Oh, Stoney! Congrats to you. Picking up the young guys at the movies. Maybe Camisha can work this into the Manny fic. *g*
stoney321
Aug. 28th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHA!!! If only they LOOKED like the hot Manny!! *dreams*
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bitchygrrl
Aug. 28th, 2007 01:42 am (UTC)
You are a MILF. Indeed. *nods head*
stoney321
Aug. 28th, 2007 12:10 pm (UTC)
I mean, come on. [/Jimmy]

Hahaha - NO. I'm not. But the hot mom at the pool this weekend, the one that made the rest of us wrap up in towels and reach for the cupcakes? The MILFiest of MILFs. :D
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beadbeauty
Aug. 28th, 2007 02:14 am (UTC)
I have a problem with this. MILFING? Boric ACID?! TWAIN? Lord. BRING THE CHILDREN BACK HOME!! hahahaha Glad the movie is a good one. I must go see it.

TIFFANY (in case you weren't sure)
stoney321
Aug. 28th, 2007 12:07 pm (UTC)
What's your problem? SEND THE CHILDREN AWAY LONGER. And the movie is v v funny, you need to go ASAP!

LAURA (who is this again?)
( 33 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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