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Question for you Grammatical Gurus

Poll #1056851 How to make this sentence read properly:

Which of the following is the proper structure/syntax/etc?

I kept my sense of humor and self.
7(18.9%)
I kept my senses of humor and self.
6(16.2%)
I kept my sense of humor and sense of self.
19(51.4%)
Either A or B would work.
1(2.7%)
None of the choices are correct but this is: [answer in comments]
4(10.8%)


As a thank you for the use of your Brain Meat, I bring you this song. Hee!

omg, my sweet Utah family is going to never ever forgive me for this book I'm writing. Ferserioz.

ETA: go to femmenerd's LJ and write her Rupert Grint RPF so I can read it, too. No, I meant that last part.

[ETA 2] GOT IT!! Thank you - the sentence will be completely re-worded, thanks.

Comments

( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
illcoveryou_x
Sep. 17th, 2007 10:23 pm (UTC)
Hahahah what a great song. Thank you :)
stoney321
Sep. 17th, 2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
Heeee!! Some days I can NOT get Eric Cartman's voice out of my head...

(Now go over there and write some Rupert smut! *G*)
illcoveryou_x
Sep. 17th, 2007 11:13 pm (UTC)
That's the best kind of smut there is!
dovil
Sep. 17th, 2007 11:01 pm (UTC)
It should be: I sensed that I had humour and then felt up my self and decided that it was a keeper.

I don't know! All I know is that there should be a semi-colon and a Q in that sentance. Also a couple of exclamation marks just to make it exciting.
stoney321
Sep. 17th, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC)
*hires you to be my editor*

We can market this book to Aborigines that don't speak English! IT WILL BE A HIT.
a2zmom
Sep. 17th, 2007 11:18 pm (UTC)
I would just rewrite the damn thing.
stoney321
Sep. 17th, 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
*headdesk* I'm thinking I may need to. It's a part of the proposed title to my Mormon book:

Oh My Heck!
How I left the Mormon church and kept my sense of humor


The "sense of self" may be a bit much...
a2zmom
Sep. 18th, 2007 01:25 am (UTC)
"I Used to be a Mormon but I Got Over It"
femmenerd
Sep. 18th, 2007 12:05 am (UTC)
I feel like I should know the answer to you question but I am staring at it all sweaty and dazed from the gym without enough food in my stomach and going....nuh.

I'd go for option two though, because it makes sense and doesn't have redundant word use.

YES, YES, RUPERT SEXING. I mean, I can't be the only person who's ever written Rupert het RPF, can I?

I suppose I should have given some options - like Rupert/Dan with Dan going down on him and um, like games of some kind! And of course, Rupert and older women!
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 01:12 am (UTC)
I would even take Rupert and Petunia Dursley (I can't think of her name) and maybe Rupert notices her hot legs (seriously - she has awesome legs) and flirts and she's flattered and forgets that in RL she's a lesbian and tries the pole.

I am SO CRASS, OMG. but I would read that. Hee!
femmenerd
Sep. 18th, 2007 02:05 am (UTC)
She does have hot legs! I keep raising my eyebrow at how it seems like Petunia's costumes have been getting increasingly tarty. Is she really a lesbian? Is it weird that that makes the idea of her seducing Rupert even better?
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 01:23 pm (UTC)
She is!! She was in a longtime committed relationship with a British playwriter, then left her for Saffron Burrows. Who is the most gorgeous redhead in the UK. AHEM. ;)

Clearly there is a precedence there....
slackerace
Sep. 18th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC)
I kept both my sense of humor and sense of self is my personal choice.


Eh, whatever. I just don't like the "senses of" choice.
ljgould
Sep. 18th, 2007 03:50 am (UTC)
I kept both my sense of humor and my sense of self.

It's awkward no matter how you write it.
cherusha
Sep. 18th, 2007 06:11 am (UTC)
Actually it's "I kept my sense of humor and sense of self as I gleefully trashed my boss's office with silly string and Satanist paraphernalia, all the while humming 'Singin' in the Rain' and using his Regional Manager award as a gold gilded sex aid."
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 01:19 pm (UTC)
WHY DID I BOTHER ASKING ANYONE WHEN I SHOULD HAVE COME STRAIGHT TO YOU?!?!

You always have the best answers. *types furiously* Hahaha.
domenowtrent
Sep. 18th, 2007 06:15 am (UTC)
*linguist*
A and B would NOT work as they are both ambiguous. This is what we are discussing in my Theoretical Ptractical Minimalism Stntax class at the moment, so I am going to pretend I know I am talking about. But mostly I do, actually. A states that you kept your self and you sense of humor, or your sense of humor and your sense. B indicates that you have multiple senses of humor, a sense of humor and a sense of self, OR multiple senses of humor and multiple senses of self.

Therefore C is most appropriate, but I agree with others that it sounds nice, "I kept both my sense of humor and (my) sense of self." The second "my" is optional because it's descriptive grammar. Use whichever sounds better to you/you are more likely to say in real life.
xochitl42
Sep. 18th, 2007 01:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, no. I used to do this stuff for a living, back when I worked in an industry that had even the most gossamer relation to my areas of interest and training.

I loved being a grammar nazi copy editor. I can blather about language all day.

The answer to your query is a terribly annoying "it all depends." In less-formal American language usage, the first option is as correct as the following two. In other words, if you were writing a work of prose fiction, or a magazine article for anything other than, say, The Economist, you'd be just fine.

If you were writing for a more British/Australian audience, or were trying to keep a slightly more formal tone, your second option is the best.

I like the third option only if the rhythm and pacing of that sentence somehow enhances what precedes or follows it, or if it's important to emphasize that you also kept your sense of self, in addition to your sense of humor.

So, in summation: option 1 is just fine for fic writing (it matches your general tone and style, unless you're aiming for something a little more formal; I dunno you might be writing a 500 year old vampire POV piece).

Option 2 is "more grammatically correct" than 1.

Option 3 is not quite long enough to be unwieldy, but might be very effective depending on the rhythm, pace, and content of the surrounding prose, and on whether or not you need to emphasize the keeping of a sense of self in addition to a sense of humor.

...This was not the kind of answer you wanted, is it?
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 02:00 pm (UTC)
That is actually EXACTLY the kind of answer I'm looking for!

I'm trying to word a title without it being wonky. Honestly, I think I'll just dump the "sense of self" portion, as it (now) gives me the impression of a self-help/spiritual affirmation type book, and that is the exact opposite feel I want to go for.

YOU ARE AWESOME.
xochitl42
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC)
Oh! I just read a reply you wrote containing your proposed title. Here's my spin on it, after a minute or two of thought:

Oh My Heck!
How I left the Mormon church, with humor and identity intact.

I guess it ain't the best thing out there, but maybe it captures what you're looking for, with out the self-helpness. And I hereby declare you're free to use it and I won't come back suing you years later nuh-uh.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:21 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha, YAY!!

Or:

Oh My Heck!
How I stopped Being Mormon and Started Being Awesome.

Or:

Oh My Heck!
I left the Mormon Church and all you get is this lousy book.

HEEEE.
lumenara
Sep. 18th, 2007 02:58 pm (UTC)
I would actually go with "I kept my sense of humor and my sense of self." That way the sentence parallels nicely.
phfeenikz
Sep. 21st, 2007 05:34 am (UTC)
As a guy who regularly deals with boolean logic (ya know, for my career and shit), making something equal to 1 is what I'm all about biatch! My sense of self, and my sense of humor are totally fricking true. ;-)
stoney321
Sep. 21st, 2007 12:31 pm (UTC)
Then clearly I need to use your suggestion! *G*

So... my sense of self = my sense of humor? ;)
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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