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I have decided to be lazy and not exercise today. Whoo hoo sunshine and books + deck chair. For those of you that are history buffs, set your TiVos/DVRs for PBS's 7 part series (By Ken Burns) called: THE WAR, starting Sept. 23 at 8pm ET. It has the Walkter Kronkite stamp of approval. (WWII) And thanks to those that responded to my poll yesterday. I feel confident with the answers given, thank you!

I fooled around with my MySpace profile (because I couldn't care less about MySpace - such a wonky/unwieldy site) and am getting all sorts of pervs requesting to be my friend now. I'm hoping some of my former high school classmates stumble across it - they're all mostly right-wing conservative Christians. It's the little things in life that amuse me.

Like this video, parodying the INSANE FAN of Britney Spears that admonished the world at large to leave Britney alone! I laughed and laughed at this.



In conclusion, Harper's Index informed me this month that it takes 3 kernels of corn to make the corn syrup in one kernel of candy corn. And the ratio of the number of calories in a candy-corn kernel to the number in a real corn kernel is 8:1. Holy Shiite! No wonder I can't stand candy corn.

Comments

( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
nwhepcat
Sep. 18th, 2007 03:54 pm (UTC)
Okay, now my mascara is running, and I'm not even wearing any. Have you seen Seth Green's parody? LEAVE CHRIS CROCKER ALONE! ::weeps::
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love his plug and the random reapplication of liner under his eyes, HEEEEEEEEE.

(And the original is just... so weird. And sad. O_O)
nwhepcat
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC)
(And the original is just... so weird. And sad. O_O)

Yep. That boy needs some meds.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:26 pm (UTC)
And a real life. And maybe a hair cut. Unless the late 80s are totally back? *cries* Flat, scrunchy boots are everywhere! SAVE US.
nwhepcat
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:45 pm (UTC)
Oh, I think his life may be over...

But wow, 100K responses -- way to flame out!
nwhepcat
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
Oh, yowch. This poor kid. He lives in some little burg with his grandparents who are Pentecostal.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:36 pm (UTC)
Oh...

Someone needs to kidnap him and show him the big city. That's... well. That explains a lot, doesn't it?
nwhepcat
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
It does. If you google him, there's a feature on him from The Stranger that makes him seem crazily brave and maybe one eence less wackaloon.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 08:01 pm (UTC)
I've been scoping out his MySpace page. His profession is "professional enlightener/preacher."

Goodness. What I'm cringing at the most is the 30 year old version of this kid looking back on this time. And how E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E will only remember the B.S.Fan vid.

I'll go check out this feature of which you speak! *ZOOM!*
nwhepcat
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:26 pm (UTC)
And I totally agree on the candy corn. A more pointless waste of calories never existed. I even mocked candy corn in some catalog copy I wrote.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Awesome. They absolutely have no flavor, imo. Gimmie a York Peppermint Patty or other form of chocolate any day.

...which reminds me to go get some form of chocolate today. *G*
aimeelicious
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:02 pm (UTC)
zomg you have a myspace? would you be my friend? I need girls on my friends list, I have mostly gaming dudes. haha. it's so weird, different parts of my life colliding online, I'm not sure how I feel about this.
illcoveryou_x
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
That video made my morning.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
Is that not HILARIOUS?!
a2zmom
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
I lurv candy corn. I only eat it at Halloween but I can go through a pound of that crap.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:11 pm (UTC)
Do you? It's so flavorless to me... When I was a kid I ate it by the metric ton. And I'd have to eat each color layer individually, too.

I'm weird about candy, though. Smarties, Sprees, and anything chocolatey, and that's about it. Oh, and Conversation Hearts. Mmmm.
a2zmom
Sep. 18th, 2007 06:42 pm (UTC)
Well, of course you have to eat each layer separately.

Zachary used to love Smarties also. Talk about a cheap date.
ladycat777
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:16 pm (UTC)
I am sooooo behind on lj! you have pictures I have not seen! and stuff about movies!

that video was funny enough that I actually watched it at work (I rarely vid, and even more rarely at work), because homg!

Also, I think Britney was on some sort of drug/medication because the corset thing she was supposed to wear? Much hotter. I am firmly in the show-little, tantalize-lots camp. Also, drugs. Oh, brits.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC)
I knew you weren't into Buffyverse anymore, but I was pretty shocked to not have seen you around for the NB pics! (They're tagged BotH if you just wanna peek. *g*)

I feel badly for Britney - I couldn't watch the clips of her screwing up. ACK. Such a sad sack. I didn't know about the corset thingy! She's just... She needs people to force her into some SENSE, omg.
ladycat777
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:31 pm (UTC)
I am still quite into buffyverse, although less than I was before SGA, but yeah -- it's just cause I've been busy and not really lj-readin'. I've got all your posts bookmarked for me to squee over when I have mythical free time to do so (and I can't at work; that's the problem, as it's where most of my freetime is)

There was a fascinating NY Times article about Britney and how she's continually trying to exert control over her own life, which I understand, and that she does so making heniously bad choices. She fires handlers that actually know what they're doing -- ie, get her to do shit -- and goes through the idiots quickly because she's smart enough to at least sense they're idiots.

I really think she was on some kind of mediciation. A lot of it. Because she was originally going to be in this really cool black corset, and she had a different dance-routine prepared and... drugs. Lots.
redscorner
Sep. 18th, 2007 04:58 pm (UTC)
Wow. That was incredibly funny, though I still think Seth Green's is better.

Either way, the original video? Dude is off his rockers. Did you see the one he did where he says if anything happens to Britney, he'll jump off a building? CRAZAY.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 05:34 pm (UTC)
Yeah, the kid needs a good shot of REALITY in his arm.
redscorner
Sep. 18th, 2007 05:45 pm (UTC)
That might be too much for his traumatized little brain to handle. Because, if you hadn't heard, WE SHOULD ALL LEAVE BRITNEY SPEARS ALONE!!!!111ELEVENSIES

I think I find myself funnier than most people find me. *shrug* And I always forget to tell you this, but that icon is the greatest thing since organic sliced bread. :)
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:20 pm (UTC)
I love 30 Rock with the force of a 1000 suns. i was SO HAPPY they won for Best Comedy. Tina Fey is so my secret girlfriend crush...
brunettepet
Sep. 18th, 2007 05:13 pm (UTC)
The world needs lunatics like this to make us feel good about ourselves! No. Really.

Candy corn went right in the trash at Hallowe'en. Even my little brother wouldn't eat it and he lived for Topp's Bubblegum. Ick cubed.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 05:35 pm (UTC)
I completely agree. Dennis Miller is no longer a comedian I admire, but back when he was funny, he said something along the lines of: I like stupid people, because it makes me, in comparison, appear so much smarter. HEEEE.

Topp's Bubblegum!! That IMMEDIATELY lost flavor once you had it all chewed. And wasn't it coated in chalk or something? Blech.
julia_here
Sep. 18th, 2007 05:29 pm (UTC)
Candy Corn should be illegal, no doubt: gross and flavorless and entirely addictive in its icky heroin-ish way. I hada dietician suggest it as pocket calories (one of the less fun parts of diabetes is having sudden drastic low blood glucose episodes; my dentist has vetoed hard candy). I could carry an ounce of it in my little tin for months but if I ate four of them WHAM I wanted it all, all I tell you!

Bad stuff, no doubt about it.

The diatician and I have since decided that peanut M&Ms are better.

Julia, damned reality, takes the fun out of everything
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC)
PEANUT M&Ms. Yes, ma'am, that's the candy I looooooove. Mmmm. Have you had the dark chocolate M&Ms? Those are mighty fine, too, but the peanut ones stand as my absolute favorite.
a2zmom
Sep. 18th, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC)
For a little while they had malty ball M&Ms (I think they called they crispy M&Ms?). Best candy ever.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
*passes out* HOW DID I MISS THAT?! Whoppers = one of my FAVES.

I saw STRAWBERRY flavored Whoppers this weekend, btw. I'm nervous, but I think I'll give them a shot. I was the weirdo that loved Strawberry Quik.
a2zmom
Sep. 18th, 2007 08:54 pm (UTC)
Strawberry quick? Shudders in horror.

Did you get U-bet up (well, i guess it's down) by you? I think it might be an NYC thing. It's dark, thick chocolate syrup.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
Awww, Strawberry Quik makes me think of my Grandma. And how I was the ONLY ONE of her 169 grandchildren that liked it. *G*

I don't think I've ever heard of that! But you can bet I'll be getting some to bring home the next time I'm up your way! NUM.
entrenous88
Sep. 18th, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC)
I imagine someone in comments has already linked to the *awesome* Seth Green parody of Chris Crocker's speech, so I won't.

Hi! That's why I like my candy corn made with honey. *beams*
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
They have! (I have to say, that I think I like this one more as a parody, though. The Seth Green one has some pretty funny stuff as a plug for his show. Him pausing to put on eyeliner = AWESOME.)

They make candy corn with honey?!? I've never heard of such a thing! Does it taste like Bit-o-Honey, which I actually enjoy on rare occasions? (I have that whole "if it's not chocolate, I don't see the point" thing about candy. What's my deal??)
entrenous88
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
They doesn't taste like Bit-O-Honey (which was a fave of mine as a kid!), but they tastes better than the corn-syrup ones.

I have that whole "if it's not chocolate, I don't see the point" thing about candy.
Zomg, does this mean you wouldn't eat my penuche fudge if I made it for you?
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 07:55 pm (UTC)
(I know!! I loooved them as a kid, then forgot about them, then the kids got a bunch this past Halloween and I stolded thems.)

UM. I WILL EAT ANY AND ALL FUDGE. I have been petitioning my Local Congressman to make Fudge its own food group. It should be the TIPPY TOP of the food pyramid!!

(And I love Smarties and Sprees, and sometimes caramels, so I'm not completely devoid of other candies. Oooh, and Nerds!)
entrenous88
Sep. 18th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
But if it is at the bottom of the food pyramid, we will get to eat more of eeeeet!

NERDS! So yummy. What's your opinion on Twizzlers? The red ones. Or, if you like, Red Vines (+ Mr. Pibbs = crazy delicious!).
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 08:07 pm (UTC)
*head desk* YOU ARE CORRECT.

Base: fudge. Then grain, veggies, fruits, proteins, and a cherry on top. :D

Twizzlers! I do know they make mouths happy, and if they are around (or Red Vines) I will eat them. I do not crave them, but I will eat if they are in proximity of my mouf. (BAKER'S DOZEN.)

I do not care for lollipops, Abba Zabbas, taffy. I *do* enjoy a green apple Jolly Rancher on occasion. Your faves?
entrenous88
Sep. 18th, 2007 08:23 pm (UTC)
If we're doing non-chocolate favorites...I love Hot Tamales, Fireballs, those cinnamon hearts for valentine's day... I guess the Cinnamon candy category. I used to really like Cow's Eyes, Boston Baked Beans, Mary Janes (I think those are the peanut butter flavored ones), and certain flavors of Salt Water Taffy. When I was *very* little, I thought those wax bottles filled with candy syrup were awesome, but now they sound gross to me. Oh, and I lu-huh-huhhhfffed Pop Rocks.

Also, omg, ROCK CANDY, gah, yum! Rootbeer barrels are the bestest (but I will also take the rootbeer flavor in candy stick form). Sour patch kids. Chalvah (which is like candy to me). Ginger candy. Sesame candy (what do you call that? It's so common in Greek and Turkish markets, hmm).

There are more I'm forgetting, I know... Man, for all that I don't eat candy so very often, I have lots of favorites!
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 08:29 pm (UTC)
See, I always forget about Candy until I'm reminded!! HOT TAMALES. Mmmmm, I love those! And those Cherry Sour balls? I like those, too. Fireballs and basically anything cinnamony is perfect, yes.

Boston Baked Beans! French beans...what are they called? The bumpy ones? I like those. That candy store in my town? They sell those wax bottles! I can't imagine how gross that must taste to my adult palate.

Sesame candy! I've never had it. I'm CLEARLY depriving myself of many happy options! I'm on this salt kick over sugar. Come X-mas, I'll be all about the fudge and peppermint bark. Mmmmm.
semby
Sep. 18th, 2007 09:05 pm (UTC)
I somehow managed to make it till yesterday without hearing about the psycho Britney fan, so by the time I was told to "just search youtube for 'leave Britney alone' - he's everywhere!" it took me awhile to find the original through all the responses and parodies. That's a good one (the sheet absolutely sells it - what is the DEAL with the sheet in the original??), but Seth Green's is my favorite.

I also saw a segment from Jimmy Kimmel in which he did a webcam interview with the guy, and he was wearing a bra that he kept hiking up until it was around chin level, and claimed that he has a lot in common with Britney - they're both beautiful women. I have trouble believing he's real.
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 09:13 pm (UTC)
It's just bizarre, right? And I've been around weird fans enough to think he could be for real, and that he could be a FABULOUS fake. He says on his profile that he's a giver of edutainment. o_0
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 09:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, and...
YOUR ICON IS PERFECTION.
dovil
Sep. 18th, 2007 09:10 pm (UTC)
I picked up some microwave popcorn in the supermarket to have a look at it and clutched my heart and fell over when I saw how much fat and calories were in it - how does something that's relatively healthy junkfood get turned into popped lard with a crunch?? Which is why I just buy the normal popcorn and then deep fry it.

No wonder hardly anyone in the first world has pants that fit any more. (I wear a duvet with a whole cut in it for my head)
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 09:20 pm (UTC)
I like to wrap each popcorn piece in bacon (with a little wedge of cheese tucked in, batter it, deep fry it, and serve it with a hollandaise sauce. Mmmm. Very satisfying, and the hospital knows me by first name in the cardiac ward.

I just don't eat a lot of pre-packaged foods of any sort, candy, too. It's just... Hmmm. I'd rather have cake. MADE OF KITTENS. With hollandaise sauce.
dovil
Sep. 18th, 2007 09:24 pm (UTC)
Prepackaged food isn't food, it's food science that you mix up in a lab. I'm sure half the problem is that we've spend millions of years evolving to be able to eat the diet that we have and within a couple of decades we've radically changed it, and thrown so many colouring, additives and preservatives about the place that our bodies were never designed to process - and lets not get into the amount of calories that they try and stuff into these things. I mean what, is there a contest going on?

The best thing to do is to stick to the outer edges of the supermarket and stay where the real food is, rather than dashing down the aisles, because god knows they're booby trapped with flying darts and trap doors any way.

Hey look at that, I just dragged a soap box into your journal!
stoney321
Sep. 18th, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank goodness, I needed a shower. I stink from all the bacon-wrapped deep fried popcorn I've been eating.

And AGREED. Gimmie fresh veggies/meats any day. Oooh, and homemade bread. Num!
( 47 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

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