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Well that turned out delicious

A few weeks ago, I had a chicken curry soup at my favorite Pho place, and wanted to see if I could duplicate it at home.

Note, I learned that buying non-Western coconut milk means lower fat content. Huh. The kind I get is in an orange/brown can: Thep Padung Porn (hahaha) Coconut Co. Anyway, half the fat, all the taste. :)

Chicken Curry Soup

In a big ol' stock pot goes a cut up chicken (or you could use 4 breasts cut up) covered +1 inch with half-stock, half-water. (I'm going to make this again with a pound of shrimp - YUM.) Toss in four carrots cut into bite-sized chunks and half of a yellow onion, also cut into chunks. Bring to a simmer, let it go for 15-20 minutes. Break up half a package of rice stick (um, those are the only English words on the package - they're fettuccine-sized rice noodles) and let them start to cook through.

Open the can of coconut milk and pour 1/3 into the soup, stir in. In the remaining soup in the can (I like saving myself extra dishes to wash) add four squares of block curry. If you can't find it, add 1 - 2 TBSP of Madras curry powder, remembering that medium hot is HOT. Whisk it into the milk and add to soup mix, bring back to a simmer for 10 minutes so the carrots soak up all that yummy curry flavor.

Serving: for authentic (read: How They Did It) a side dish with keffir lime leaves, lime wedges, basil leaves, and mung bean sprouts to be tossed in and chomped up. Honestly, it's good both ways, the extras just make it a heartier meal.

My kids ate this up. \o/

Tonight is a healthy salad with all the veggies in my fridge and a delish "Asian" dressing. Here's the recipe.

Soba Noodle Veggie Salad

1 package soba noodles
1 teaspoon sesame oil
2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
3 tablespoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon hot chili oil (I'll use the chili paste in my fridge for more flavor, honestly)
1 tablespoon hoisin sauce
5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 carrot, thinly sliced or julienned
2 celery stalks, thinly sliced or julienned
5 green onions, bottom 4 inches, thinly sliced
1/2 cup thinly sliced napa cabbage
1/2 red bell pepper, thinly sliced or julienned
1/2 cup julienned bok choy
1 cup bean sprouts, optional
3 tablespoons minced fresh cilantro leaves
3 tablespoons sesame seeds, toasted, for garnish

In a medium stock pot, boil water, add salt and cook noodles. When finished, place noodles in an ice water bath to cool. Drain and set aside. In a medium bowl combine, sesame oil, vinegar, soy sauce, hot chili oil, hoisin and extra-virgin olive oil. Mix thoroughly and then combine prepared vegetables and noodles. Garnish with sesame seeds.

That is a party in my mouth. AND YOU'RE INVITED. (That sounds really dirty, and unnecessarily so.)

I have comments from yesterday to respond to and a fic to beta, but first I must eat something. Leftover curry soup? POSSIBLY.

Oh!!!! Sorry, PEE ESS. Yesterday I came across the WORST PORNO EVER MADE. (Don't ask how.) And by worst I mean the LAMEST. Hey, here's a video of it under the cut! (Totally safe for work, btw.)

So, it's like Batman, except for how it completely sucks. And not in a porno way. So this chick gets a tingly feeling in her no no (they say: a twitch in her twat) whenever there's a CRIME about to be committed. So, she GETS ON HER HIPPITY HOP and hops (a la Eraserhead) to the crime, battles it, then HOPS BACK HOME. In excruciating detail.

How is this sexy?!?! Apparently there are hillbillies involved, so I'll be doing more research because let's face it: hillbillies + porn + hippity hops = YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP/AWESOME.

I give you Dragon Art Theater's Finest: Dora Dildo, the Mighty Bat Pussy. (Please note the Jean Paul Satre quote that accompanies this. Ahaha. Ha ha.)

Wow. Just... wow.


( 42 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:26 pm (UTC)
I want to know what all the people driving down the highway thought of this woman in a Batgirl costume riding on a hippity-hop.

Then I want to know wtf the Dragon Art Theater was smoking.
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)

I totally wondered the same thing. "Hey, why is that weird chick in a Batman costume along the highway? Is that... is she on a hippity hop?"

And this video single-handedly made me realize that the hippity hop is *NOT* a childhood toy I want to revisit.
Feb. 12th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC)
Ok, so I can't. stop. thinking! about the video. (Really, what else am I gonna' do while I'm chained to this desk all day?) Maybe its hold on me is all the stronger because I can't actually listen to it and answer the many, many questions that I have.

And so I remembered a hippity-hop trauma that my older sister endured: one day, she came home in tears, dragging the hippity-hop because that evil Lisa C. up in Oak Cliff Circle had told her that it looked like a giant, red scrotum. She never rode it again.

Moral: nothing but pain and confusion (and okay, occasional hi-larity) can come from these things.

Feb. 12th, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)
Wow is right.
That was so bizarre.
I cant wait to show it to the mister. He will appreciate it.

Thanks doll, I needed the giggle.
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC)
Please know that I'm buying it. I mean... I HAVE to have it! (It can sit next to The Devil in Miss Jones and Behind The Green Door as an ode to the best and worst of the Golden Age.)

*hugs you* (Any news on Dennis?)
Feb. 12th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
*hugs you back*
No news on Dennis yet. He is still M.I.A
I'm devastated.
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
omg! She must be exhausted! That hippity hop looks brutal on the thighs.
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:54 pm (UTC)
Did you see the scene where she's going (or trying) uphill on it?

I hope they paid her well. (Or at least had a good crafts service table that day.)
Feb. 12th, 2008 04:21 pm (UTC)
Is that when she actually fell off? *snort*

Not enough money in the world...
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
this is OT but i love your icon! it's from Zodiac, right? we just watched that on the weekend and when i saw the sign i was all ICON OMG.

hi stoney!
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:56 pm (UTC)
I believe so! (I haven't seen the movie, I WILL AMEND THIS.)

Hi Pique!! Hahaha to your icon. Clearly you're an "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" lover. :D
Feb. 12th, 2008 04:08 pm (UTC)
it was actually really quite good, but much different from what the trailer, etc., led me to expect. and there was a portion of the film where robert downey jr. and jake gyllenhaal were sort of unlikely friends and allies that made me go, "OH OH OH" *thigh clench*. like, i wanted their characters to have sex a lot.

i'm actually an editor by trade, but i have not read Eats, Shoots and Leaves. i don't know whether to be proud or ashamed of that fact.
Feb. 12th, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)
<-- who can we slash him with, Pique?
My sister said the same thing re: the trailer makes you think one thing, the movie is another. And re-he-heally? Mmmm, that's something I'd like to see. That's a lot of full ips and intense eyes right there.

(I did not know that!) You know, it's a fun, quick read, but one of those books that you can skim through while waiting in line at the bookstore and get the gist.
Feb. 12th, 2008 04:22 pm (UTC)
Re: <-- who can we slash him with, Pique?
Who is that manly man in your icon? I don't know him!

It does sound pretty, doesn't it? I have this knee-jerk slash reaction to Robert Downey Jr., maybe because of Wonder Boys? I mean, I just want him to have all the gay sex. And I quite enjoyed imagining him and Jake sitting around in pjs eating breakfast and reading the paper the morning after, all stubbly and sleepy-eyed, feet bumping under the table, and then blowjobs after coffee. You know? Aasdjkfshsasda.

I have copies at home and at work - but I have gone to great lengths not to open it. I am ridiculously contrary, you see.
Feb. 12th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
Re: <-- who can we slash him with, Pique?
PIQUE: it is Bear Grylis, and he is a former Special Forces leader from Britain, as well as a member of the royal family, and he has a show called "Man vs. Wild" and he gets mostly naked almost EVERY EPISODE and I have a monster crush on him. Mmmm, educated boys that can camp. <3

Oh, I have that reaction about Robert Downey Jr. from Less Than Zero when he whored himself out for coke money!! And if you could churn out your story idea, that would be super. :D

(Hahaha, it's what makes you YOU which is to say PERFECT.) Hee!
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:46 pm (UTC)
That chicken curry soup sounds like heaven. Thanks for sharing the recipe. I know what I'm making tomorrow! The noodle salad also looks amazing. Mmm, hungry now. :)

Uh. I have no words for the hippity hop vid. The *boinka* sound was enough to leave me blinking at the screen in wonder. How is this porn? Because she had tingly pink bits? I dun get it... and I'm quite sure I don't want to. Whew!
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:57 pm (UTC)
Mmmmmm food. Man, I love curry. I could eat Pho and curry every day for weeks and not get bored. PARTY IN MY MOUTH, Beans.

I'm blown away by that movie, too, and not in the good way. WOW, right?
Feb. 12th, 2008 04:49 pm (UTC)
Me too, man. I'm thinking about going to get hot and sour soup at my favorite sushi place today, AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT! :P (Thank you, btw. :D)

There is not enough WTF for that movie. Did she seriously hippty hop down the highway? And did she take a pee break on the way to the "crime scene"? Wha huh?

Feb. 12th, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
I so want to make that soup RIGHT NOW.
Feb. 12th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)
I'm putting a hot plate and ingredients into my fwoomp tube. Should be there aaaaaaaaany second.

Feb. 12th, 2008 04:35 pm (UTC)
Frank and intimate scenes? Where? This must have been appealing to somebody's kink, but I just don't wanna know...

Both recipes look fantastic, though. I love soba salads.
Feb. 12th, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
That was the "SFW" cut, and apparently there *are* graphic scenes involved. Which... I'm afraid.

Mmmm soba noodles. Just: NOODLES! I love them all. (Especially in cold salads. YUM)
Feb. 12th, 2008 04:51 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing* OMG. First, the warning at the beginning was wonderful. I wasn't sure if I should keep watching or not. I might have found the content offensive, you know. ;-)

But then the voiceover. And then the twitchy twat. And then she came out of an OUTHOUSE! That's way better than a batcave. And then the hippity hop. And then she beat the man with the hippity hop.

But the best part? When she used a hand signal before turning right at the stop sign.
Feb. 12th, 2008 06:14 pm (UTC)
Sal, the HAND TURN. I absolutely cackled yesterday, and almost spilled out of my chair from the laughing.


I think my favorite part is the hopping. Wait, no, it's the hopping. DAMMIT, I keep messing up. My favorite part is how that redneck comes out of nowhere and runs at that girl. In the distance. Then we see coming out of left screen, hop hop hop hop.
Feb. 12th, 2008 06:56 pm (UTC)
The redneck is far in the distance that I couldn't tell if he had pants on or not. Was he pantless? Was that the threat?

The hopping. God, the hopping. That poor woman.

Also -- I was left wondering what the people driving by must have thought about Bat Pussy on her hippity hop on the side of the road with a camera crew there. I think that would have freaked me out if I'd been driving by.
Feb. 12th, 2008 08:51 pm (UTC)
I don't think he was pantless, which makes the crime weirder. It's like he ran to her to hold her close. ??

I would have HAD to pull over, are you kidding me? I would have ruined the shot by standing there scratching my head, trying to understand.

In conclusion: BAT PUSSY. (Not even Ian Flemming came up with a name so lacking in entendre!)
Feb. 12th, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
Dude. That was a *lot* of bouncing. Bounce bounce bounce. Has no one heard of editing? Those parts where she kinds lost the rhythm and fell off? Maybe edit that out.

Feb. 12th, 2008 06:12 pm (UTC)
I think we have definitively answered the age old question that puzzled the Ancient Greeks: can there be too much bouncing? And the answer is YES.

It's like that girl lost a bet, or something.
Feb. 12th, 2008 06:19 pm (UTC)
This soup shall be mine!

I'm sitting here at my desk eating my sad little frozen Kashi lunch and reading this recipe (and OMG I can't even begin to address the video--must watch at home with sound!) and now I'm huuungry. One of the biggest drawbacks to living in a small town is the lack of decent asian food (and I ain't talkin' Chinese superbuffets. Ack.)
Feb. 12th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
Make it so, Number One!

Ugh, when I lived in Utah I bemoaned the lack of good Mexican. In other words: I FEEL YOUR PAIN. (Thank goodness you can order dry goods through mail services, though!)
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 12th, 2008 08:45 pm (UTC)
Now, there is smut, just not in that SFW clip.

And you know, I really don't think it was solely for laughs. (There had to be a bet lost, is my guess.) I mean, in the late 60s there were all those pornos of nothing but women smoking while sitting naked, so... There's something for everyone.

I just got back from my favorite little Pho place and had PERFECT pad thai. *happy sigh* Your Spock icon makes me very happy, by the way. :)
Feb. 12th, 2008 06:51 pm (UTC)
...did she stop to use a bush...?
Feb. 12th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC)

After she hopped out of an outhouse. Because...?
Feb. 13th, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
All that boumcing jiggled her bladder!
Feb. 12th, 2008 07:40 pm (UTC)
I stayed away from LJ for a year, and I come back to ... this.

Only you, Stoney!
Feb. 12th, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC)

ZYRYA! There you are, my little Aussie!

And isn't it comforting, in a way, to know that I'm just as ridiculous as ever? *beams*
Feb. 12th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
I missed you!

You're ridiculous? The hippity-hop porn, and I really never envisioned using those words in the same sentence, stands as the new test of ridiculousness. I keep typing things like "she stopped to pee!" and then realise the futility of picking one random stupidity from the vast field of stupidities.

You and I are bloody geniuses next to that.
Feb. 12th, 2008 10:29 pm (UTC)
Okay, I'm not even going to state the obvious with "WORST PORNO EVER" here, but...has no one on that team ever learned how to edit their footage? Or where the zoom button on the camera is, for that matter??
Feb. 13th, 2008 01:59 am (UTC)
If only Mystery Science Theater 3000 had found this gem....
Feb. 13th, 2008 02:40 am (UTC)
That would have been the BEST MST3K ever. EVER!!!!!
Feb. 13th, 2008 03:48 am (UTC)
OK, finally watched it Complete With Sound (and Mr.). Gott in Himmel. (Bitte! Huh! God, don't get me started.)

So very baffling. When they first show Bat Pussy pacing back and forth in her nightie, I swear it looks like she's in back labor and timing contractions. And poor ol' honey--that hippity hop just gives her the hardest time. It's a miracle she didn't end up face down on the pavement or ornamenting the grille of a semi.

If you get the whole thing, pleasepleaseplease give us a full report.
( 42 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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