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Monday Blatherings

  1. I am still unable to walk. My knee surgeon is officially a liar. "You'll be off crutches in 36 hours!" he said. "You'll be faster than gazelles in heat!" he said. "You'll make cool wahwahwahwah noises as you jump over 20 foot security fences!" he said. I am hopping on one leg (crutches have bruised my pitts) and flopping about on the bed trying to not take pain pills. My knee makes NO BIONIC NOISES. :(

  2. The good thing is the book I'm almost finished with: WORLD WAR Z. The greatest novel about the zombie apocalypse ever written EVER. I want all zombies all the time. Like, I would totally love to fight an army of zombies. I would kick butt. That's the great thing about growing up in a cultish religion: we had apocalypse training every summer! (Um, I'm not joking.) I could whip up a desalinization kit, get my 2 year supply of food and fuel, my .22, blow out the staircases (zombies can't climb stairs) and live to see a brighter day. WHO'S WITH ME?!

  3. Like... wouldn't a zombie-centric ficathon be fun? You know, any fandom, or original fic, but there has to be zombies in it? I'm in like Flynn on that one.

  4. Something you may not have read about the YFZ Ranch, but I did because I read the members' blogs (why aren't the authorities??) 10 of the 18 girls in official state custody, ages 10 - 14, are pregnant, and two of them with their second child. The first person that says "give these people their religious freedom" gets my feminist foot up their backside so deep you'll be reading "Saucony" on the roof of their mouth.

  5. AFI wrapped last night and while we didn't win any awards (aww) the director of my second movie St. Nick did for his GORGEOUS short, A Catalog of Anticipations. Yay!

  6. My camera is in another room, and I haven't uploaded any pics from Wed. red carpet, so you'll have to wait, those of you interested. I'm going to drag myself to a horizontal surface and read more zombies.


Okay, what would you do to survive a zombie attack? Go! (Do you need me to give you a starting scenario? I will - just ask in comments.)

[ETA!!!] UM - Please notice this man's name, the man that berated SLC for not having a Zombie Plan!! WESLEY DID NOT DIE IN NFA, evidently! Best April Fool's Joke EVER!!

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( 101 comments — Leave a comment )
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tabaqui
Apr. 7th, 2008 04:36 pm (UTC)
Oh, man - number four? That makes me sick to my stomach. I heard a *very* tiny bit about that place on the news like - last week, but nothing since. Just...fuck.


And okay - to survive the zombie apocalypse...oh gods, zombies creep me out. Are they the ones like from 28 Days After who can run really fast or like the ones from Dawn of the Dead who sort of shuffle?

I would - be in a fast car. Have flame thrower/torches/some kind of fire. Molotov cocktails. I would also have machete and shotgun with lots of shells - beheadings for all!

And omfg, i would have Sam'n'Dean to help me.
:)

Oh and! I'm glad the surgery is over but booo to not making bionic noises!
*pet pet pet*

Edited at 2008-04-07 04:37 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
Isn't that horrible, about those kids? I've been seeing red everytime I've read an editorial on various online newspapers wondering why we're wasting time on this "religious" issue. Bastards.

If I may get sniffy, the creatures in 28 Days Later had a rage virus, they were not the walking undead. So, the later. Shuffling, reanimated tissue.

Having those two on your team seems VERY WISE. I worry about you choosing a car: what if the zombies take over and you can no longer get gas? Oooh! Biodesiel, hello! :D Machete = best weapon choice. Easier to take off a head than a head shot with a shotgun. Hahaha.

(And thank you!)
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redbrickrose
Apr. 7th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry your knee isn't doing better. :(

Isn't WWZ awesome? A zombie-centric ficathon would be the MOST FANTASTIC THING EVER. I would totally be in.
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
Waaah, me too! The swelling isn't so scary bad like before, which is good. (Did you see the Grindhouse production of "Planet Terror?" When they cut to Bruce Willis and his face is all huge and gross and pulsing? Okay, it wasn't like that. But it made me THINK of that. :D)

Let's have that ficathon, dammit!! Who would you write?
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drusplace
Apr. 7th, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)
I hope your knee is all better soon. Bionic noises would have been totally cool!

To survive a zombie attack? I'd play turtle. Then they'd all shuffle past me cause zombies aren't too bright. Or they'd figure out my ruse and I'd be zombie-fied!
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 04:57 pm (UTC)
I've decided to just "make" bionic noises to raise my morale. Hahaha.

Okay, if that's your game plan, I'm altering mine. I'm going to stick close to you, so that when you go turtle, they'll focus on you and I'll be able to make a better getaway. :D HEY. It's all about survival at this point, missy!! :D
globalfruitbat
Apr. 7th, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
I completely have a plan for the Zombiepocalpyse!

I'm living in the rather hippie-ish neighbour of my city, and this has given me two (2) options to choose from for the best base of operations to survive the Zombiepocalypse.

a) There is a grocery store not too far from here -- maybe six blocks -- that conveniently already has most of its windows boarded up! So I could protect myself and others during the dangerous times, and have fuel for my body for when I need to go out and BASH HEADS.

The windows are just glass with boards on them, though, which is not as secure as

b) There is a high school just up the street that is an awesome old building. Lots and lots of movies have been filmed in it -- both Scream AND Scary Movie! It is made of stone, and while there are ground floor windows, it would be easy to barricade them because this school has TONNES of trades technology classrooms! (My boyfriend, who was a joiner for three years right out of high school, and who is now doing a Fine Furniture program at the college, before he goes on to become a trades teacher himself, went there.) There is a lot of material for weaponry, as well as lots of hidey holes to hide away in.

And a big ol' field for a cast-of-thousands final battle.
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:00 pm (UTC)
Can I say that I'm nodding in approval at your FIRST LINE. Good girl. Okay. *finishes reading*

Awesome locale - if those windows weren't boarded up, though, it's DEATH TRAP. (Is there a flat roof, and can you get on top? Best position to monitor the zombie hordes.)

The school seems a better option: stone walls. Also, all that metal can be turned into machetes, double sided axes, broadsoards... I like it. Make sure you have access to food and fresh water, though, zomg!!
southernbangel
Apr. 7th, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)
I would run and hide like the pussy I am if under a zombie attack.

You know, I bet we could have the surgeon implant a chip in it that will make the bionic noises when you run.
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
WRong answer, Lee! WRONG ANSWER. You go to Maren's - her landscape offers the best protection. Plus, barricade the garage and the door leading into her house, then blow out the stairs to the front door and I don't see why you couldn't live through this thing! At least, you could make it until I showed up in a modded HumVee with air support on the way!

Hahahaha - let's look into that!!
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jgracio
Apr. 7th, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
1. :(

2. Why the apocalypse training? Wouldn't the Rapture or whatever it's called
save all the good religious folk?

4. You know, has anyone tried to have a religion based on not paying taxes? Would that work? Or would the government suddenly decide some freedoms are too much?
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC)
1. I know!! *cuddles that frowny face for better morale!*
2. Haha, see, the Mormons don't believe in the Rapture; they believe there will be a big final battle they'll have to fight and win, and it will take a long time, so they have to be prepared, hence the 2 year supply of food and fuel the members are encouraged to have. (Um, I still have a 6 month supply, because it just makes sense!!) <-- hee!

4. I love that religion. Let's start it up! You can be the Grand Poobah, or whatever. I'll play the piano.
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beadattitude
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:13 pm (UTC)
Sweetie, why are you trying not to take pain pills? It's not a moral failing if you NEED them.

World War Z was awesome.

It would take a while, maybe, to get zombies out here in the country. So hopefully we'd have a little time. First thing I'd do is secure all the windows and doors with plywood we'd have left over from the renovation from hell. Then I'd run down to the Lamson & Goodnow outlet and get some big damn knives while J borrowed a gun and some shells from his hunting editor.

Then we'd lay in a bunch of food and create fallback positions in case the zombies get in and would probably invite Jeff's bro,his wife and baby over, and maybe R could rig up some booby traps with his saw blades.

We'd remove the new wooden steps at the back and side entrances hoping they'd be too stupid to climb, and set up barricades/booby traps at the front door. God, that new French door we put in is certainly a liability. ::ponders::

Yeah, I might have been able to pull that together a little too quickly. Not that I have a THING about zombies, noooooo. :;curls up tightly:: Nooo.

Edited at 2008-04-07 05:15 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:17 pm (UTC)
Argh, I don't like dependency on pills. Not to mention that when you don't feel the pain, you over extend (like I did Thursday night) and cause more damage, so... (I take them to sleep.)

I like the booby traps idea! Especially if they're bear traps. (Make a map of where they are so you don't fall prey to their bear-trapping technology of PAIN.)

Get some water purification pills while you're at it - you live where you can collect fresh rainwater. And seeds! Collect garden seeds! *draws up contingency plans for us all!!*
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knotted_rose
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:14 pm (UTC)
World War Z is one of my favorite books of all time. I'm not so much into zombies. That book impressed me because it's the most realistic fiction book I've read in a long time. I *completely* believed every country's reaction to the zombies.

As for me, I've thought about this, during and after reading the book. First off, I'd hook up with my Qigong instructor, who's been doing martial arts for 30 years and knows more than one sword form. I think we'd try to get other people from our class together as well, as well as my friends from just up the street who both have more than one blackbelt. I don't know if we'd stay in Seattle. I'm not convinced that we'd be able to grow enough food, though there's plenty of fresh water. If we did stay, there's an apartment building just up the street that has no street level apartments, has 5 stories, and is right across the street from the grocery store. It also has balconies and a flat roof. Could survive there for quite some time.

As for a ficathon -- the fandom I'm most active in at this point is Numb3rs. Could see Charlie (the mathematician) freaking out at the exponential rate the zombies are multiplying. Megan would give modified Krav Maga lessons, for taking down zombies. All of the agents would retrain for headshots. And they'd probably hire themselves out as protection teams. They'd have more amo than most, being FBI agents. . .
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:20 pm (UTC)
Isn't that what made that book so great was how well thought out each country's reaction was? Man, I can see that book being a kick-ass series on HBO. I want each little vignette to be an episode.

See, I love that you know SWORDS are the key. Head lopping, people! (Head shots with a gun are nigh on impossible from anyone not a sniper.)

What about access to greenhouses? You could grow veggies hydroponically. (But what about meat? Chickens are the easiest.) The apartment building sounds GOLDEN. If you can retract the stairs, that is IDEAL.

(I loved the houses on stilts in South Dakota in the book. Genius!)

We really need to make this a multi-fandom ficathon, huh?
beadattitude
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC)
OMG the RANCH. ::cries:: ::Wonders if maybe these guys are zombies and if we should take them out::
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:21 pm (UTC)
WE SHOULD TAKE THEM OUT!! (And check the children for infestation.)
copykween
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:48 pm (UTC)
Aww, poor knee! My mom used a walker for the first week or two after her surgery.

I heard about the YFZ ranch on the radio earlier. Totally disgusting. I'm SO glad they got busted!
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC)
I'm down to one crutch, so it's improving. Slowly...

Isn't that horrible? I'm so happy they were able to get in there. I'm also glad it was the Texas Rangers, not the Feds this time. And see how smoothly it all went? Don't Mess With Texas. :D (And the locals are being so helpful to the kids and women. Bless their hearts!)
mrmonkeybottoms
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
I loved World War Z! Such a great book. I also love zombies, so we are BFFs now :-)I'm not sure what I'd do as far as holing up and hiding, but I do know I'd kill anything that moved!

I just finished reading 'Escape' by Carolyn Jessop. "Seventeen years after being forced into a polygamous marriage, Jessop escaped from the cultlike Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints with her eight children."
http://www.amazon.com/Escape-Carolyn-Jessop/dp/0767927567

I really recommend this book (if you haven't already read it). It's an amazing and eye-opening read! Get it! Get it!
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:59 pm (UTC)
Good hell, I'm loving this book! *knits us an extra long scarf with BFF on it so we can wear it TOGETHER*

Killing anything that moved... remind me to not come check up on you without letting you know beforehand! Or I could get a steel neck brace as my anti-zombie-head-lopping safety gear.

Isn't her story crazy? I've pretty much read everything about polygamy that's available, truth be told. (My extended family is polygamist!) If you can get your hands on "In My Fathers House" or "Predators, Prey and Other Kinfolk" by Dorothy Allred Solomon, those are really interesting, too. It's SO JACKED UP!!

(Um, and "Under The Banner of Heaven" by Jon Krakauer is one of the best non-fiction books you'll ever read, honest to Pete!)
orejen
Apr. 7th, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
Just sayin'
zombie_survival

I have a one bedroom apartment on the ground floor. I would be blocking my 4 windows with my 4 closet doors. I have food and water, as long as I can go under the radar. My SO has already said he would come and get me if there were any kind of disaster (though I didn't mention zombies to him, as he would just roll his eyes at me), so I would hold up until he got to me, or until it became obvious that I had to move on.
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
Re: Just sayin'
*FIST PUMP!* Leave it to LJ to satisfy all my zombie apocalypse preparation needs!!

I'm glad you have a plan - that's more than most! ZOMBIES: they could happen. Also, you need weaponry, a quick and lite pack for essentials like a pocket knife, twine, metal scraps (to be turned into weapons) a flashlight and batteries, and a crank-powered radio. Don't wait until the zombies are pounding on your door, moaning!!!

:D
fitofpique
Apr. 7th, 2008 06:04 pm (UTC)
I just ordered World War Z from the library, though I may go buy it because I'm 28 on the waiting list and ... ZOMBIES!!!

In case of zombie attack, I would go to The Winchester! It's secure, it has food and drink, and there is a loaded rifle over the bar. PERFECT!!! Failing that, my house is very barricadable and we have axes and tire irons and hockey skates and things to hand! Also, a fully stocked liquor cabinet and pantry.

Oh, and if the zombies can't swim, I'd consider going to The Island as a backup plan. That didn't work too well in Dawn of the Dead though, so I'd be sure to do my research first.
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 06:13 pm (UTC)
YOU NEED IT. It needs to be something you own. (DO you have his Survival Guide? The book is a novelization of that. Highly imperative all survivors of the coming apocalypse have this guide book!!)

HAHAHAHAHA. But would you get your mother and leave your step-father? Also: a fully stocked liquor cabinet is KEY. (You can use all the crappy stuff you just keep for guests to make molotov cocktails.)

I think in Dawn of the Dead we had an incidence of a ship finding infected people and dumping them on an island with the promise of returning. (maybe?)

If you could get satellite reconnaissance on a small island that could support small herds of goats, chickens, and a few cows, that would clearly be ideal.

ANd seriously, my new weapon of choice is a tree lopper. That way you don't have to get too close. *taps temple*
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killerweasel
Apr. 7th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
World War Z was fricking great. had to be one of the better zombie books I'd read in ages. (Have you read The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead?) Plus it's going to be a movie, which hopefully won't suck. Oh, and speaking of zombies and things that don't exactly suck, Die and Let Live is decent, considering it had a tiny budget. Think Clerks meets the original Dawn of the Dead.

And the key to surviving a zombie attack is to seal yourself into a Wal-Mart because not only is there food, water, camping suplies, and possibly a restuarnt to use to to cook in, but you've got guns and machetes (Wal-Mart sells 3 foot machetes for the low, low price of $7)!

Edited at 2008-04-07 07:05 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 08:19 pm (UTC)
Oooh, I heard about Die and Let Live and it's on my list of Things To See. (I am a proud holder of a Guide Book for the sure-to-come Zombie Apocalypse, and it's required reading in my house. I want all prepared!!!) Hahahaha, your Evil Dead 2 icon is FANTASTIC!!

I like the Wal-Mart. As long as you can be sure you don't have any nutcases barricaded in there with you, that's a SOUND PLAN. Tires from the the auto supply in front of the sliding glass doors, and you're set!
brunettepet
Apr. 7th, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
1. Well, drat to the surgeon being a liar! If he led you to believe there would be a Bionic Woman soundtrack I am sending a stern note.

2. I have been meaning to read that *highlights on reading list* It sounds like you're ready. You can lead the zombie fight.

3. I would certainly read and comment. I love zombies!

4. This just makes me sick. Religious freedom, my ass.

5 and 6. I can't wait for pictures. Chimp!

It's great to get proof positive that Wes really survived NFA. Hahaha!
stoney321
Apr. 7th, 2008 08:21 pm (UTC)
1. It was intimated! *sadly looks upon stacks of tennis balls, waiting for crushings*
2. IT'S AWESOME. I'm ready to lead, fight, and survive.
3. I think there's an audience for this, I really do!!
4. ME, TOO. Nasty.

Isn't that so funny? I didn't think SLC would be capable of such a practical joke, and I'm happy to be proven wrong!
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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