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Clearly I can't leave the internet

because every time I go away for a few days, wank ensues. (Hahaha. Ahem.) Um, catching up on the latest scream fest amongst ourselves for a fandom I don't give two squats about and I've come to the conclusion (again) that a large percentage of the women in fandom hate themselves. HATE. Hate to the point that they won't read fic where women receive pleasure, hate to the point where they write women out of fandom stories, hate to the point of hating all women enough that belittling FICTIONAL characters is okay because "they deserved it" based on blah blah blah.

Jesus H. Girls? Ladies? LOVE YOURSELF.

Here's why girls are awesome and you should quit hating yourself and other women:
  • we're beautiful. All of us. I don't care if you have one arm, moles all over your face, a gimpy eye, you're in a wheelchair, you're rich or poor, fat or thin, or you have night poots that make your cat angry. There is something BEAUTIFUL about you. Find it. Exploit it. Love it.

  • we're compassionate Biologist speaking here: we're (generally) hardwired to have hormones that make us care. Quit going against your nature with the hating and exclusion, y'all. :D

  • we're smart nothing is more unattractive to me than a girl playing dumb. Fortunately, my homies are all smart women. Being intelligent, thinking, questioning, challenging is a WONDERFUL trait. Um, men have been cheered for those qualities for millenia. Let's get some of that loving our way, right?

  • I'd like to see a man pass a baby through his genitalia Second thought, no I wouldn't. Our bodies can do amazing things. And how awesome that in today's world most of us can CHOOSE to do this amazing thing or NOT TO? Big ups to my fellow natural child birthers (and for future mommies: GET THE DRUGS.)

  • we're social we thrive in communities. We MAKE communities. (Again: see biology comma historical) We are the creators of society. So, uh, let's be responsible there and make it a GOOD ONE.

  • boobs I mean, come on. They're awesome. Nature's little (or not) pillows.



You are not a "fish." You are not a "bitch." (Unless you like being called that, then mazel tov.) You are not weak, dumb, worthless, a loser, a victim, "smelly" down there, or incapable of succeeding. Here's Mama Stoney telling you: YOU HAVE WORTH. YOU HAVE VALUE. Fucking believe in it, already, would you??

And a final note, and this is one of the rare times I'll get this personal online, but HEAVENS to MERGATROID, ladies, I'm tired of the woman-hate: I am 5'6", weighed 125 lbs (at the time of the story) and had been beaten down (literally and figuratively) by my now ex husband, 6' 8" and 280 lbs, all muscle. All it took was the threat of harming my child and I knocked that mother fucker out with one punch, upper cut under the jaw. (I am not advocating violence. It just happened to be the perfect resolution in my case, ahaha. Ahem.)

I AM NOT WEAK. AND NEITHER ARE YOU! I DARE someone to call me a bitch in a derogatory manner. Be strong. Be proud. LOVE OTHER WOMEN, because that's how we all pull each other up. In conclusion, how about doing something positive instead of only griping online about whether or not it's okay for fictional people to call each other bitches and sluts: Darfur needs help. Maybe we could start by pulling those women up, or the women in Ethiopia?

This journal will return to happy and carefree fun happy goodtime in the morning. :)

[ETA] Sesame Street taught me everything I needed to know about women being awesome. Women can help to find cures for diseases, women can hunt Aligators!" "Look at these things that we women can do: we can drive cars, we can be cooks! We can be bus drivers, we can write books!" <3

Comments

( 57 comments — Leave a comment )
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lynnenne
May. 20th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)
I want to wrap you up in kisses and draw hearts all around you. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

And thank you for those links. ♥♥♥
stoney321
May. 20th, 2008 10:46 pm (UTC)
The self-hatred has puzzled me since I first came online. Why the hate, ladies? We so awesome!

<3 <3 <3 <3 (The Ethiopian women have my HEART. The poor darlings.)
... - lynnenne - May. 20th, 2008 11:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
kita0610
May. 20th, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC)
I would like to join in a rousing chorus of I Am Woman, but that song gives me hives.

Can I just grope you instead?
stoney321
May. 20th, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA. How about the "We can be bus drivers, we can be cooks!" song from Sesame Street?

ALWAYS, COOKIE PANTS.
... - kita0610 - May. 20th, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - May. 20th, 2008 10:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - kita0610 - May. 20th, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
menomegirl
May. 20th, 2008 10:46 pm (UTC)
You are made of win.

*mwah*
stoney321
May. 20th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
I do not understand the lady hate! I'm all, "Ladies! We're so awesome!" And they be like, "Pfft, boys are better." And I go, "Nuh uh!"

:D (I'll, uh, stop that now.)
... - menomegirl - May. 20th, 2008 10:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
pernickety
May. 20th, 2008 10:50 pm (UTC)
Ladies ftw. *nods*

stoney321
May. 20th, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
HOORAY LADIES! :D

(I just added an awesome link to a children's song from when I was a girl...)
... - pernickety - May. 20th, 2008 11:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - May. 20th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
killerweasel
May. 20th, 2008 10:51 pm (UTC)
This post rocks. :D

Oh.

I just uploaded the Lost Boys: Reign of Frogs comic in my journal if you want it. ;)
stoney321
May. 20th, 2008 10:58 pm (UTC)
YAY FOR THE LINK! Thank you for that head's up, I can't wait!

AND let's hear it for the girls, whoooooooo! :D
demonqueen666
May. 20th, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
GO TEAM VAGINA!! OUT AND PROUD, BABY.


"You know, if a woman named it, it'd be something powerful yet beautiful. Like, Excelsia: 'If you take me shopping, I'll show you Excelsia.' I mean, vagina?? That's a horrible name. It's like something you call in sick to work with. 'I can't come in today, I've got vagina! It's all over my face!!'"
stoney321
May. 20th, 2008 10:58 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hilarious. Because it's true.
... - demonqueen666 - May. 20th, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
halfmoon_mollie
May. 20th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)
you rock. YOu really rock.

I'm glad to have encountered you on the internets.
stoney321
May. 20th, 2008 11:22 pm (UTC)
*hugs you tiiiiight!*

I mean, come on! We're so great!
showmewrtr
May. 20th, 2008 11:20 pm (UTC)
You know, there was a lovely (err, spirited) conversation over on Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, about f/f sex and it was quite...um...eye opening. Of course, there are some who predict that f/f will be the new m/m in a few years in the erotic romance market simply because there won't be any other new frontiers to explore!
stoney321
May. 20th, 2008 11:23 pm (UTC)
I'm really shocked at the lack of f/f fic in comparison to m/m. *points to self* I've not written much, myself, shame on me!

But let's hope that lady-loving gets the same kudos soon, yes indeed!
... - showmewrtr - May. 20th, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
bitchygrrl
May. 20th, 2008 11:31 pm (UTC)
I am in the wanking fandom and I just want to hug and kiss you write now. Because I can't even get my brain around the hate going on. *hugs* *smooches*
stoney321
May. 20th, 2008 11:34 pm (UTC)
Just... why hate women to the point of excluding them from EVERYTHING? I love the ladies, aww yeah. :D
... - bitchygrrl - May. 20th, 2008 11:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
rikibeth
May. 20th, 2008 11:43 pm (UTC)
*sigh* I just had to tell my daughter off for describing Ashlee Simpson as a "whore."

I said, "you know, I don't like to hear people using that insult. Usually, when they are, it just means that the woman they're describing has made sexual choices they don't agree with, or they want people to believe she has. And I think that her sexual choices are her own business."

I don't know if I helped my cause or blew it by then saying, "Now, if you want to call her DUMB, that's a different thing. All the public information about her suggests she's dumb as toast. If that's what you mean, just say THAT."

I then pointed out that Pete Wentz was not all that in the brains department either, so maybe they were a good match.
stoney321
May. 21st, 2008 12:34 am (UTC)
Hahahahahaha. See, I'm pretty sure I would have said the SAME THING as you, so you won that round in my book. :D
dovil
May. 20th, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)
I <3 you so hard.
stoney321
May. 21st, 2008 12:35 am (UTC)
SAME TO YOU, and more of it. I just got excited thinking about Sept. in NYC with you and then here you are. Like a stalker, but with positive energy and no restraining order.

:D
... - dovil - May. 21st, 2008 12:44 am (UTC) - Expand
ruthless1
May. 21st, 2008 12:00 am (UTC)
YAY for you!
That is all.
stoney321
May. 21st, 2008 12:36 am (UTC)
No, no, YAY FOR YOU! Yay for US!

*throws a tea party for LJ*
southernbangel
May. 21st, 2008 12:02 am (UTC)
I have to say, I like having a vagina and it is pretty awesome.

So is yours. AHAHAHA.

ILUSTONEY. I kinda want to have sex with you and your wicked smart, beautiful, sexy, witty, kind vagina brain.
stoney321
May. 21st, 2008 12:37 am (UTC)
MY VAGINA RULES. My hormones, my calendar, my orgasms... :D

ILULEE. i love you thiiiiiiiiiiis much.
brunettepet
May. 21st, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
*looks around* *looks at self*

What's to hate? Women are made of awesome.
stoney321
May. 21st, 2008 12:37 am (UTC)
I know, right???
_divya_
May. 21st, 2008 12:59 am (UTC)
You are made of smartness and awesome.

I recently heard two catchy little pop songs, hunted them down... and listened in dismay as both female lead singers sang about taking guys away from other women. In one song, the singer wanted to keep the guy and in the other, she just threw him away because she didn't care, but the emphasis in both was that weird competitive thing that young girls do to each other.

A while back, I had to explain to my (seventeen year old) niece that any guy who pits two women against each other isn't "such a sweet guy, I don't know why he hangs around with That Bitch". He's not sweet. He's manipulative. She'd be better off leaving him to it and finding a worthier friend.
beanbeans
May. 21st, 2008 01:20 am (UTC)
I love you, I love this post, and that Sesame Street clip is everything awesome evar. DONT LEAVE AGAIN, STONEY! THE INTERNET IS RONG WITHOUT YOU!

globalfruitbat
May. 21st, 2008 01:35 am (UTC)
I have had that song stuck in my head all my life. Seriously, it is the song I get randomly earwormed with the most! And now I watched it again, and it totes made me tear up with PRIDE for all the things we women can do.
sweptawaybayou
May. 21st, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
*adores*
marenfic
May. 21st, 2008 02:01 am (UTC)
I <3 you. SO MUCH.

The Sesame Street makes my hand hurt less. That's how awesome it is.
semby
May. 21st, 2008 02:32 am (UTC)
Thank you for this! <3
ravynstoneabbey
May. 21st, 2008 04:47 am (UTC)
Bless. <3 stoney!
chantal87
May. 21st, 2008 10:48 am (UTC)
*climbs out from underneath a bunch of boxes and packing tape*

I will never understand all this "lady-hate". Especially when it's the ladies doing it.

Boys are not all that great. I would know. I live with a bunch of them.

Anyhoo... I just wanted to send you some love.
You are super awesome!

maybe1ce
May. 21st, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
(sarcasm)OMG U must be a lesbo how can u say that teh bichez are kewl when u no they b weak and shit. I bet your fat, 2. Cuz only fat chicks and fags r feminazis. (/sarcasm)

Amen to you, sista. I had forgotten the glory of that Sesame street song....add to the list the Schoolhouse Rock "Sufferin' Unitl Sufferage" and the whole flippin' "Free to Be, You and Me!" album to the essential Feminist Upbringing....ah, to be a wee girlie in the 1970's.....
maybe1ce
May. 21st, 2008 08:49 pm (UTC)
And, yes, I do have a graduate degree in Poly Sci. I can spell "suffrage." My uterus must have been making me stoopid there.
kseenaa
May. 21st, 2008 03:51 pm (UTC)
I am a proud nerd and BITCH! :-D Babe In Total Control of Herself! ;-D
redbrickrose
May. 21st, 2008 04:54 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful. Thank you.
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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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