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Etiquette poll

:D Just curious as to the general consensus on what's acceptable behavior online. *cough* And if you are wondering if I've experienced what I would consider rude behavior in my journal from people, then please look at any of my older Connor posts. (And no, I still don't give a shit if YOU don't like Connor.) *SMILE*

Poll #1211413 Miss Manners Queries

Someone has posted something I am not interested in. I:

scroll past, because that's what the scroll is for!
comment to the post about how I am not interested in what they post.
something else I will indicate in comments.

Someone on my flist is clearly in love with/very fond of/obsessed with a subject that I despise. When they post about this I:

roll my eyes and skip that post.
be sure to comment ASAP about how I can't understand why they love/obsess/enjoy the topic at question.
comment on how I very much dislike/don't care for/non-interested I am in said topic but with them well with their enjoyment of the thing I dislike.
something else that I will say in comments.

[eta] Crap, I misspelled a word in the second query. WITH = WISH.

Other topic: I have come across something where you can turn yourself into a centaur (men only) and instead of hooves you have WRIST FEET. NSFW. At all. Actually, not safe for sanity. (There's FANFICTION there. About becoming a centaur!! Don't even think I won't be sporking this stuff at a later date. WOW.)



( 130 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jun. 26th, 2008 02:57 pm (UTC)

I will not click that link. I will not click that link. I will not click that link. I will not click that link. I will not click that link. I will not click that link.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:00 pm (UTC)
T - IT IS FRIGHTENING. Better to wait for my gentle comic stylings, mocking it later. :D
... - marenfic - Jun. 26th, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - sdwolfpup - Jun. 26th, 2008 06:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:11 pm (UTC)
I will wait for your mockage before clicking that link to the centaur stuff. Things like that are always better with Stoney-commentary.

As for the poll...some people on my flist are part of fandoms I cannot tolerate/don't like/am not mildly interested in. Those I mostly scroll through. Others have hobbies I am not interested in and usually just bypass. If it is something a good frined of mine (in RL or just online) posts about regularly sometimes I will comment just for fun. One of my flist is obsessed with Jensen Ackles. Jensen and I have a hate/hate relationship. We regularly joke about this and of course I never ever bash him as an actor to my friend. Of course she doesn't get my Michael Rosenbaum obsession. We've gotten to the point where it is so funny (to us anyways) that we both have Jensen/Michael icons that we use in each others lj's.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
If it's someone that's a close friend, and you have an established relationship of ribbing each other, hey - I do that, too.

I'm interested in what you would do for a general person that you read on your flist. I see from your answers though that we're like minded on how to handle this issue. *MARKS YOU IN THE GOOD COLUMN*
... - drusplace - Jun. 26th, 2008 04:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:27 pm (UTC)
And Nicky is awesome. End of story.
I honestly don't get some people's need to tell the blinks and blips that are a stranger online how their happy-making thing is dumb, not their bag, etc.

And I'm with you on the classy people that still like me even though I ship Angel/Connor. AHAHAHAHA. Ahem.

Dude, be warned. That site is... well, I had *my* mouth open in shock, so take that at face value. (WRIST FEET!!!)
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:22 pm (UTC)
comment to the post about how I am not interested in what they post.

I can't figure out why people do this. To make others as miserable as they are? I dunno. Get a life, people!

O...M...G. The centaur link. Bwahahahah!
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC)
*clings to you* I don't know why they do it, either!! I think the stats so far show that the vast majority of us taking the poll find it to be RUDE BEHAVIOR.

Isn't that hilariously AWFUL!? Never forget: there is no basement in the Alamo in the cellar of badness.
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Jun. 26th, 2008 03:24 pm (UTC)
This is the "something else I will say in comments" answer for posts on subjects I despise: there are 2 things I usually do, and which one I do really depends on my mood at the time. The first one is to try to understand that other point of view. Sometimes people can help me see something about a person or situation I wasn't seeing before, and while it's unlikely I'll come to agree with or embrace that point of view, I appreciate understanding it more than I did before. The second one is to keep on scrolling and just leave it alone. (For close friends, there is also option #3, which is mocking them. Because they are of course mocking me right back for my obsessions and if your friends can't help you see yourself as others do, who can?)
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, sure, asking questions about a topic someone is interested in is fine, I agree. And you know how I feel about mocking. :D (BUt on a squee post, I would only ever do that with someone that knew I was teasing them - a good friend, in other words.)

But telling someone that you don't like what they like, or you hate what they love, etc? Why the need?
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:25 pm (UTC)
Why did I go there? I was bored, I know, but Geez Louise, nobody's ever that bored. Gah - self pleasure with Wrist Feet? Did someone write that with a straight face????? Arrrrg!
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
WRIST FEET. Just when we think we've seen it all...

Jun. 26th, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC)
I need to watch this movie again STAT
Uh, can I point some dumbasses I've encountered lately to this poll?

Regarding #2, I answered "roll eyes and scroll past" because while that is what I do in a majority of cases, if it's a post by a good friend who I can tease about it, well, I tease them. Berating a friend = love. Just like they rib me for posting about my goddamn OTH obsession. But if it's a stranger or someone I don't know well? I just scroll right on past.

Amazing the number of morons who can't understand that simple concept.

I will not click the centaur link I will not click the centaur link I will not cli--OH GOOD HELL WHAT?!? That's something you just can't unsee.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
Re: I need to watch this movie again STAT
OH MY GOD LEE. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Why, people? Live your life. Now, if someone is posting about how they love to rape nuns and murder them, then I think it's okay to say YOU ARE WRONG. I think, in that case, it's your duty to speak up.

But when it's about someone liking a pairing (you) or being proud of a movie you are in (me) STFU and scroll, motherfucker.

CENTAURS. Why the crazy weird penis?! It scares me, Lee.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
Okay. What does one actually do with "Wrist feet"? No, wait! I'm not entirely sure I want to know! I think I'll just wait for your generally hilarious commentary and find out then. 'Cause I'm scared to click the link!

I chose #1 and #3 for the second poll topic. Mainly, because I figure some people on my flist are wondering why I don't comment as frequently in their journals as I used to (usually because they have sort of segued away from the Buffy fandom and are totally into Supernatural, in which I have no interest.) So, sometimes, I stop by to say Hi, and I still enjoy them as people, even though our main interests have diverged.

*spreading the Connor love*
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:34 pm (UTC)
Saying your interests have diverged... I wouldn't count that as saying "I don't like what you like." or "I think it is wrong for you to like what you like." or "I hate what you like." (I can't imagine you doing something like that!)

But saying, "While I am no longer in the My Pretty Pony fandom, I still like to read your recipe posts!" or something doesn't fall into the same 'is this rude?' category at all. (Hahaha: YOU ARE SAFE, MY DEAR.) HEEE.

And if you don't mind, I'm going to comb the hair of the beauty in your icon.
... - spikendru - Jun. 29th, 2008 01:00 am (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC)
I made a selection, plus "something else" for both. Because if it's someone I'm good friends with (like you or B), I might leave a comment teasing you about your love of whatever I hate. But it would always be gentle and clearly joking and only with someone I know would know I'm joking.

What is wrong with people? Asshats. Fandom is full of asshats.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, and I'm totally not clicking that link at work, but you bet your ass I'm going to check it out later. I love the train wrecks.
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Jun. 26th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
I scroll past what I'm not interested in but I do comment every so often.

However, I recently friended southernbangel (someone whose fic I sometimes read) solely because of a post on religion that I liked. I've since become very fond of her One Tree Hill posts and I don't watch the show-never have. But her posts fill me with glee, make me laugh and smile so I leave comments to them often, even if the fandom isn't one of mine.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)
SHe's a great person to friend!! :D

Although, this is more about leaving disparaging or confrontational remarks to a subject you aren't interested in, and the poster is clearly fond of. Like, "Why would you like that? It's stupid." (I can't imagine you leaving a comment along that line, though!)
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Jun. 26th, 2008 03:44 pm (UTC)
@_@ x bamillion = Boytaur.

I no have word. And now I'm going to go wash my mind out with lye. :O
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:45 pm (UTC)

Some things are just broken and can't be fixed. Bleh.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:50 pm (UTC)
Boytaur, euwww...

Also, the extra in comments: In theory, when I've had enough sleep, when my meds have kicked in, on a good day, when I'm not distracted by the dog snoring in the background.

Julia, no matter how much velvet grass I pull there's more out there. I despair.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
Boytaur is HORRID. Broken people, I tell you.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
So I skipped the poll to comment, since both of my answers were 'something else' lol. Basically, I read every post on my friend's list. I admit that occasionally, if the text says "Dr. Who" and it's a cut-tag link, I won't click, which I guess counts as scrolling past. But mostly I read it all, because I never know what someone will say that might be significant, even if it's in a fandom or on a subject that doesn't particularly interest me. As long as my friends list stays small, I manage to keep up. When I got involved in LJ and realized that there are probably a number of people who have me friended but never read my entries and/or have me filtered, I decided I didn't want to operate that way. I don't care if others do, I just didn't want to do it myself.

There might be eye-rolling, but I still read everything =P

I closed my office door and clicked on the link. /thud
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:56 pm (UTC)
I would call that a scroll, your example of a cut-text for Dr Who.

And that's very admirable of you - that's dedication to your friends. *SQUISHES YOU* Some topics I won't read, but I like to keep up with the happenings of my friends lives, for sure.

And while you say you might roll your eyes, I can't imagine you telling someone their love is dumb, or the subject is stupid, or something like that. So I'm going to put you in the majority category. :D
... - aimeelicious - Jun. 26th, 2008 04:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jun. 26th, 2008 04:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
For the first question, it depends a bit, since people often include multiple topics in their post. Even if I'm not interested in the main topic, I might comment or jump into a discussion with a side/sub topic from that entry.

Oh, and if they post about something I'm generally not interested in, but I think this person is the type who can make things interesting, I might occasionally read what they have to say about that particular topic though otherwise I wouldn't look for said topic on my own. And certainly if they're posting in an inviting discussion/curious about dissent, I would be more inclined to take part in that kind of comment thread, since they're clear about welcoming or just wondering about contrary opinions.

#2, I would not engage if it was fannish or rl squee about something that makes the person happy. Go forth and be happy!

However. I might jump in if they were very happy about something in a way that seemed either unintentionally or just ignorantly offensive to someone -- it would very much depend on where I was at/how much time I had, but yeah.

It's hard for me to answer these, because my flist is SMALL and people I've known generally for a while. My flist browsing experience is probably fairly different than for people who add back most journals and read around a wide range of topics/fandoms/etc.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:58 pm (UTC)
I'm realizing that I wasn't as specific in my poll as I needed to be.

Think: squee post on #1, too. Like, you want to tell me all about the beauty of the waffle. (They're waffles! Who doesn't like waffles?) And someone comments with how they don't like waffles, waffles are wanna be pancakes, and they would never eat them because they're gross.

And this must be hard for you to answer because you are NOT the kind of person that likes to upset people! You are what we in the biz call "a good friend." :D
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Jun. 26th, 2008 03:54 pm (UTC)
You know, a boytaur...well, you know, they're actually called *centaurs*....would be just fine if they weren't all, apparently, created by the 'My hed iz pasted on, yay!' school of Photosheep.


And wtf, wrist feet? On top of everything else, he's got a kink for not being able to do....*anything* on his own, ever?
*the mind, she reels*

Anybody who posts the equivalent of 'your hobby is stoopid and ur a poopy-hed' should be summarily fed to the voles.
Jun. 26th, 2008 03:59 pm (UTC)
Oh, but they like to invoke the idea of YOUTH! *gags* WHat the hell, T?? Gag. WRIST FEET!!!

There should be an icon that says: You shall summarily be fed to the voles. I support that idea!!!
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Jun. 26th, 2008 03:56 pm (UTC)
I clicked it. I. Just. I am left speechless with humanity now. Speechless. Oh my god.
*reaches for brain bleach*
Jun. 26th, 2008 04:00 pm (UTC)
I WARNED YOU!! I WARNED!!! *holds you closely, kisses the top of your head*

(Do nursery rhymes soothe?) Twinkle twinkle little star...
... - ruthless1 - Jun. 26th, 2008 04:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jun. 26th, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 26th, 2008 04:06 pm (UTC)
With question #2, if they specifically ask *me* what I think of the topic (I comment on something else in the post, they come back with "And isn't X so awesome?"--which has happened), then I might go with the "Not my thing, but I'm glad you're enjoying it!" comment. But only in those circumstances. Otherwise, I roll my eyes and skip.
Jun. 26th, 2008 04:10 pm (UTC)
I don't see anything wrong with your statement, there.

But I can't see you popping into a post where the topic is something they love and you do not and just saying "I don't like what you like. Good luck with liking crap!" Because you have manners and things. :D
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Jun. 26th, 2008 04:17 pm (UTC)
So I will admit to skipping over a large number of links on my brief flist, especially when such as yourself firmly warn me about the need for bleach if I go there. (I'm very glad I haven't gone to the centaur link based on the reactions above. whew.)

And there's no question that people who feel they have to argue with you (or sneer) about what makes you happy were not well-brought-up.
Jun. 26th, 2008 04:57 pm (UTC)
I want to have a sordid affair with this comment. YES. MA'AM.
Jun. 26th, 2008 04:30 pm (UTC)
I'm a big fan of scrolling past. There are lots of things that people on my flist OMGLOVE that I can't stand.

For example: High School Musical, the Twilight series, and Gossip Girl, just to name a couple. I hate all of these things, and love to mock them in RL, and in my own LJ, but rarely in other people's, since I worry that my mocking of the subject will be taken as a slight toward the person. It's hard to get inflection and sarcasm across when you can't attach words to facial expressions.
Jun. 26th, 2008 04:57 pm (UTC)
(oh my god, the Twilight series. Ugh.) And yeah - I have stuff I loooove that people just can't understand, and vice versa. But why do some people feel the need to EXPLAIN why their' idea is better, and yours isn't? Or just throw in that $.02 that they don't like it? I didn't ask, so I didn't want to know, thanks.

Right on about inflection and sarcasm. I reserve the use of that for people that know me, because otherwise, I'd come off like a bitch. :D

In conclusion: I LOVE YOUR ICON. Ahahahaha! Burninating LA!
... - positivelyb - Jun. 26th, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 26th, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
Sadness rating on the fact that I've already been to the boytaur site? *looks shifty* Like four years ago or so. zortified got some slightly disturbing feedback to her Houston Knights centaur fic that recced it, IIRC.
Jun. 26th, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha - why didn't you link me, then? You know I can't bear to look away from the crazy!

You know how it's awesome to be recced? And then something like that, or NAMBLA recs a fic you've written and you want to die?
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Jun. 26th, 2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
If someone's gushing about something I hate, I usually just scroll past without eye-rolling. I tend to be indifferent that way - I only notice long enough to see that it's a post to skip. ^^;;
Jun. 26th, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
HEEEEE! Excellent way to see it, and I do the same thing. :D
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Jun. 26th, 2008 05:22 pm (UTC)

Why did I go? Huh? Why didn't I wait for the mocking post from you? *is foolish*

I have a huge friends list, but lots of down time, so I generally read most everything from people (communities are another story). But if they're squeeing over something I don't get, I just don't say anything. My not-getting it isn't their problem!
Jun. 26th, 2008 05:38 pm (UTC)
Okay, you have just said the PERFECT RESPONSE:

My no-getting it isn't their problem!

EXACTLY. Today, you have won the internets.
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Jun. 26th, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
I scroll past if I have no intrest. A large portion of my F-list is in to slash and I don't. We mostly have a ship and let ship attitude. I am interested in their lives and other stuff. But I don't ever comment on their live journals with slash hatred. A few have seen me post in a forum about not liking it or when they ask for prompts I post a het request and ask for no slash, but in general I just ignore it and move on. I try to be polite.

I am so sorry that some very rude people made comments about your movie. If it comes to the Portland OR area I will get tickets. {{hugs}}

I am not going to click that link but look forward to the mockage.=)
Jun. 26th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
Right - there are pairings I don't get, but hey: to each his own, right?

Oh, it's not about the movie comment (which was more "I typed before I properly expressed myself" thing) I get stuff like this all the time, and cannot for the life of me figure out WHY.
Jun. 26th, 2008 05:48 pm (UTC)
I generally scroll past things I'm not interested in and dislike, though sometimes, I have defriended because I just couldn't stand the aggravation any more.

And I scared my HUSBAND with that link tyvm. :P I scared myself and I didn't see the whole thing omg.
Jun. 26th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I've defriended, too. I've saved that for when it's something they are REALLY into and I'm morally bothered by that, generally speaking.

Isn't that picture horrifying?! What is WRONG with people!!
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Jun. 26th, 2008 05:49 pm (UTC)
I can see where this is coming from. And as I said in my answer to you, it was not how I meant. Not at all.
Jun. 26th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
Well, I won't argue that I was rubbed the wrong way. HOWEVER. I truly believe that you didn't mean to insult me, and you and I can let bygones be bygones and continue on in our enjoyment of LJ, right? *hugs*

MOSTLY: this post was about how I've gotten "Eww, why do you like that?" all the way to arguing with me on my opinion on WEATHER *head desk* comments for YEARS and I just snapped. Mea culpa for taking the brunt of that frustration from yesterday's post.
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( 130 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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