This is the skin of an LJ-er. ([info]stoney321) wrote,
@ 2008-08-28 09:24:00
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Current mood: working
Entry tags:pimp!, sparkle!, wtf no seriously wtf?

Tears of a Clown
In Sparkle-News, I made up a drinking game. Now, this is the kind of game that will get you seriously hammered, if not dead from alcohol poisoning. Smeyers: She really, really needs a Thesaurus, stat.


Every time you read the words:

  • GHOSTED
  • BEAUTY/IFUL
  • OBSESSED/IVE
  • CHAGRIN
  • UGH
  • RAINBOW SPARKLES
  • DAZZLE/LING
  • PERFECT/TION/LY


you take a drink. Call the hospital and set up a donor liver before starting, because GOOD LORD, Perfect will raise your blood alcohol to death levels.





You'll notice that I've included the leaked book, Midnight Sun, and keep in mind it's only a handful of chapters, so the count tally for the possibly finished version will be way, WAY higher. And talk about laziness... It's Twilight, all the same dialogue, but from a different POV. And oh! I forgot all the stalker moments! i started counting every time Edward was really creepy/stalkerish (he even refers to himself as a stalker. UM, WHAT.)

Total count for the 12 chapters? 15. And that's a conservative number, because I counted all the stuff that happened IN ONE NIGHT as one. Dude, he reminds himself to buy OIL so he can make it so her bedroom window won't squeak. You know, because he doesn't want to WAKE HER UP while he's watching her. THAT IS FREAKY, SMEYERS.

Someone needs to record how many times Bella's heart stops beating/she stops breathing due to the nearness and perfectness of Edward. That's a double digit, for sure.

Okay, back to photoshopping "Jacob's" head on Professor Lupin. Hahahaha.


(56 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]menomegirl
2008-08-28 02:34 pm UTC (link)
She actually uses the words "rainbow sparkles" together in a sentence?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-28 02:54 pm UTC (link)
YES. Literally "rainbow sparkles." It's like the universe knew I needed a laugh.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]menomegirl, 2008-08-28 03:19 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]marenfic, 2008-08-28 04:02 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]stoney321, 2008-08-28 04:58 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]maybe1ce, 2008-08-28 05:33 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]seraphcelene, 2008-08-28 06:22 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]siapom, 2008-08-28 08:02 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]hope_sparkles, 2009-06-05 07:27 pm UTC (Expand)
Teh sparkles - (Anonymous), 2009-08-10 10:04 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]elisi
2008-08-28 03:18 pm UTC (link)
Just to make sure that I fulfill my spamming quota today...

I adore this quote - the movie might actually almost be worth watching:

“When you read the book,” says Pattinson, ... “it’s like, ‘Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.’ I mean, every line is liked that. He’s the most ridiculous person who’s so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn’t do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that’s how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he’s a 108 year-old virgin so he’s obviously got some issues there.”

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-28 03:25 pm UTC (link)
Isn't that hilarious? I love the contempt he has for the character he'll be in bed with for the next year or two. Bwah!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]candiesandlaces
2008-09-05 08:09 pm UTC (link)
My respect for Pattison skyrocketed. Thanks. :D

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]hope_sparkles
2009-06-05 07:30 pm UTC (link)
Robert Pattinson definitely just got some major points in my book.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]quixotic_otaku
2009-06-20 12:23 am UTC (link)
Yes, so emo!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]kallisanryene
2009-07-15 12:50 am UTC (link)
"that’s how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That's beyond awesome. I thought movie Edward was whiny; glad to know he was *supposed* to be that way. :D

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

Attempted. - (Anonymous), 2009-08-10 10:08 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]enigmaticblues
2008-08-28 03:23 pm UTC (link)
BWAHAHAHA! *cannot stop laughing at "rainbow sparkles*

Honestly, those are words that belong together only in "My Little Pony" fanfic (I'm sure such a thing exists). Or meant in an incredibly ironic way.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-28 03:26 pm UTC (link)
RAINBOW SPARKLES!! Can you believe it?!


(And I'm honestly surprised at how few times "chagrin" popped up. I really thought it would be more. It FELT like more.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]heatherbird
2008-09-06 11:59 pm UTC (link)
I hope that somewhere in this world, My Little Pony fic DOES exist. Or better, My Little Pony slash. With unicorn and Pegasus action.

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(no subject) - [info]the_ether, 2008-11-23 11:33 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]lurker_lost, 2008-11-26 06:55 am UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]paradoxymoron, 2008-11-27 09:20 am UTC (Expand)

[info]redbrickrose
2008-08-28 03:59 pm UTC (link)
Wait. What's Midnight Sun? There's going to be a book from Edward's POV? That's . . . alarming.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-28 04:57 pm UTC (link)
That's the one from his POV!!! IT'S FUCKING CREEPY.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]moosesal
2008-08-28 04:11 pm UTC (link)
I think what I love about the chart is how you can see that in Breaking Dawn the numbers for perfect/ly and beauty/ful went up while others went down. Clearly she got lazy because I'm sure she could have had more dazzling in place of beautiful. I mean, come on. Dazzle us with your terrible prose, Ms. Meyers.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-28 04:59 pm UTC (link)
I actually surprised "obsess/ive" didn't go down in the 2nd book, given that Edward is gone for 70% of it.

DAZZLE ME WITH YOUR ACUMEN, AGENT STARLING.

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(no subject) - [info]moosesal, 2008-08-28 05:01 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]stoney321, 2008-08-28 05:03 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]anelith
2008-08-28 04:17 pm UTC (link)
I don't see how anyone over the age of 10 could write the words "rainbow sparkles" together with a straight face. Intentionally.

Does she seriously intend to publish this "Midnight Sun" book? Which is all the same dialogue? God, what a lazy way to rake in the money. I am ashamed of all the readers out there who will fork over their bucks for the rehash.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-28 05:00 pm UTC (link)
Rainbow sparkles, I swear to the god of your choice.

It's irritating beyond belief, isn't it? The money she's made over this!!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]kseenaa
2008-08-28 06:23 pm UTC (link)
I am slowly backing away from this fic more and more the more I read about it... And I will drag my best friend with me... :-P

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-29 12:40 am UTC (link)
A wise decision!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]seraphcelene
2008-08-28 06:27 pm UTC (link)
Dude, I submit that dazzle/d, grimace/d, and smirk/ed should be included. I really, really, really wish that you'd come up with this game before I read this. If I had waited one day, just one little ole day!! I could have passed out in alcoholic bliss 1/4 of the way through the book and been spared the horror.

Oh, the horror! It haz rainbow sparkles.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-28 06:46 pm UTC (link)
Dazzle is there, but I didn't think of grimace! Clearly there will have to be special additions of this game. :D

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(no subject) - [info]spamwarrior, 2009-09-26 03:21 am UTC (Expand)

[info]maevebran
2008-08-28 08:40 pm UTC (link)
What age are these books aimed at? 5 year olds? I have a friend who says her five year old niece's favorite colors are pink, purple, and sparkle. But a grown woman writing about rainbow sparkles to a crowd older than that Oh My Dear and Fluffy Lord!

I think I shall stay far away from these books and movies. At least I can take comfort in the fact that Hollywood bought such stupidity they may actually consider my writing as it is ten times better.=)

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-29 12:40 am UTC (link)
Isn't that shameful???

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]bienegold
2008-08-29 11:28 pm UTC (link)
Don't forget "murmur"!

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2008-08-30 02:26 am UTC (link)
I guess that one didn't hit me like "ugh" and the rest. I wanted to smack a person everytime I read ugh or a variant of perfect.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

Rainbow Sparkles - [info]wicked_charie, 2008-09-28 02:51 am UTC (Expand)

[info]flamesword
2009-02-07 09:55 am UTC (link)
I don't even remember where I was linked from, but I found your rundown of the LDS subtext in Twilight really interesting. I'm reading your above-linked fic at the moment, and I guess I will comment here as I don't have an IJ account.

I have to say - I know very little about Mormonism in general and their missionaries in particular, but having been raised by ultra-fundamentalist Christians, there's an awful lot that sounds very familiar. :/ And I'm loving the story - I have two chapters to go, but I need sleep so I will come back later. (I got distracted for a long time with some of the meta links... )

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2009-02-07 03:14 pm UTC (link)
fundamentalists of all stripes tend to be cousins in their behaviors and strictness, right?

I'm so happy to know someone else is reading that fic, how cool! (I think anonymous comments are turned on at my IJ, so you can comment there if it's easier than hunting me back down on LJ. I'm interested in your thoughts!

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(no subject) - [info]flamesword, 2009-02-08 01:20 pm UTC (Expand)

[info]miss_guided1986
2009-02-14 07:36 am UTC (link)
Okay, you only have a few chapters of the leaked book and "chagrin" shows up 8 times already. I read older novels that use it maybe once. And that was when words like "chagrin" were used. Bloody hell, someone smack this woman.

(Reply to this)

Little help. :-)
[info]mistvieh
2009-06-05 07:22 pm UTC (link)
'Placate' and 'petulant' are two more for your list. :-)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Little help. :-)
[info]stoney321
2009-06-05 08:08 pm UTC (link)
now I'll have to call the printers to make more cards! Shouldn't have laminated so many... ;)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]quixotic_otaku
2009-06-20 12:31 am UTC (link)
I have read/listened to these books and watched the 1st movie countless times. They are so entertaining, and awesomely bad. I think I'll try counting stalker/ing and the amount of times characters roll their eyes or how many times Bella sighs.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


(Anonymous)
2009-07-22 06:28 am UTC (link)
Don't forget to add incredulous(ly) to your list!

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]christiespace
2009-07-28 04:44 am UTC (link)
I have pimped your game in ontd_twatlight. Hope you don't mind.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2009-07-28 02:08 pm UTC (link)
Oh, nope, don't mind. The companion posts to this (the LDS Sparkledammerung) have had over 34,000 hits, so I'm immune to any wank at this point and I cackle with delight over the joint mocking. :)

(And thanks for liking it enough to rec, btw!)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

(no subject) - [info]christiespace, 2009-07-28 05:17 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]stoney321, 2009-07-28 05:39 pm UTC (Expand)
(no subject) - [info]christiespace, 2009-07-29 12:53 am UTC (Expand)

[info]pink_angel37
2009-08-18 01:37 am UTC (link)
The chagrin thing really got to me while reading the books. Even more so than the words perfect and beautiful.

I haven't read Midnight Sun, but I totally want to now. Edward sounds freaking creepy (like he wasn't already...).

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]stoney321
2009-08-18 01:55 am UTC (link)
Oh my god, how irritating was "chagrin????" Gah.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


(56 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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