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Wednesday - almost the weekend!

Every time I read this, I transpose key letters to make "hadron" ...not that. As a supporter of the abandoned Super Collider back here in Texas, the Swizz collider makes me very excited for the scientific possibilities. If they create black holes, my little nerd heart might explode. [ETA] a2zmom linked me to the particle accelerator rap, and it is a thing of nerdcore BEAUTY. THERE COULD BE ALTERNATE DIMENSIONS. I-

Folks, we are living in a glorious age. Now if only they could make a jumbo shrimp large enough to ride on, then you can eat it afterwards, then this will be the Golden Age of Mankind.

So I spent far more time than I should have today and yesterday afternoon using a 9 iron to rid my garden of grasshoppers. It makes a very satisfying "thowck!" noise, plus I get to work on my swing. PLUS, and more importantly, it keeps me a loooong way away from their horrid bodies. I KNOW they want to jump on my face, crawl inside me and lay babies in my brain. I know it. And so: FORE! *thwock!*

The paper today had the most delicious dessert I've ever heard of. Well, today. CAKE BALLS. Think: donut hole (and if you don't like donut holes... I don't think I have anything else to say to you. THEY'RE DONUT HOLES!) but actual cake with frosting (Unlike cake donut holes, which I am not a fan of. I don't prefer cake donuts. Oh, I'll eat one in a pinch, but give me a hot Shipley's any day.)

"Wow. My mouth is really watering just thinking about those balls."
"You have some beautiful balls."
"They're bigger than I expected."
"I can't wait to get my mouth around these balls."
"I like the way your balls smell!"
"Well, there's no beating my balls."

Okay, I love Alec Baldwin. Best host on SNL, or best host ever?

Basic Cake Balls

1 (18.25-ounce) boxed cake mix plus ingredients called for on box
1 (16-ounce) can prepared frosting
Almond Bark Coating or Confectionery Wafer Coating (both recipes follow)

Bake the cake according to package instructions. While warm, crumble the cake into a bowl with a hand mixer to a fine texture. Mix in frosting to make a paste, using 3/4 to a full can of frosting, according to taste. Chill the mixture for at least 2 hours.

Using a melon baller or your hands, form the mixture into 1 ½ -inch balls. Place the balls on wax paper; freeze at least 6 hours.

Working in small batches, remove the balls from the freezer and dip the balls into warm, melted Almond Bark Coating or Confectionery Wafer Coating, using toothpicks or forks to manipulate the balls. Remove the balls. Place the balls on wax paper to harden.

Makes about 30 cake balls.

Almond Bark Coating

In a double boiler, melt one (20-ounce) package vanilla- or chocolate-flavored almond bark, stirring constantly. Or, in a tall, narrow container, microwave almond bark for 45 seconds on High (100 percent power). Continue to heat in 15-second intervals, stirring between intervals, until melted; be careful not to scorch.

When almond bark is melted, stir in 1 teaspoon vegetable oil. If desired, stir in oil-based coloring drop by drop until you achieve the desired color.

Confectionery Wafer Coating

Melt 48 ounces confectionery wafers in double boiler or microwave oven per instructions for Almond Bark Coating. Omit oil. If desired, stir in oil-based coloring drop by drop until you achieve the desired color.

Chocolate-Carrot Cake Balls

2 C flour
2 C sugar
1/3 C baking cocoa
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
4 eggs
1 1/2 C vegetable oil
4 medium carrots, coarsely shredded
Cream cheese frosting (recipe follows)
Dark-Chocolate Confectionery Coating (recipe follows)

Preheat oven to 350 F; grease and flour 2 (9-inch) cake pans. Sift the flour, sugar, cocoa, salt, baking powder and baking soda into a medium bowl.

With an electric mixer, beat the eggs and oil together at low speed until well-combined. Add the flour mixture, beating until just combined. Stir in the carrots. Pour into prepared cake pans. Bake on the middle oven rack for 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of cake comes out clean. Remove from oven, allow to cool slightly; while still warm, crumble the cake into a large bowl. With a fork, mash in Cream- Cheese Frosting. Chill mixture for at least 2 hours.

With your hands, form the mixture into 1 ½ -inch balls; place balls on wax paper, and freeze at least 6 hours.

Using toothpicks or a fork, dip each ball into warm melted Dark- Chocolate Confectionery Coating, working in small batches. Set on wax paper to cool.

Makes 4 dozen.

cream cheese frosting
Cream 8 ounces softened cream cheese and 4 tablespoons softened butter with an electric mixer at medium speed until fluffy and smooth. Add 1 tablespoon vanilla extract and 1 cup powdered sugar; beat at high speed until creamy.

dark-chocolate confectionery coating
Heat and stir 48 ounces (3 pounds) dark-chocolate flavor confectionery coating wafers, using a double boiler or microwave oven, just until melted, stirring until smooth, using care not to scorch.

Here's a website with some cute ideas. I'm not normally a twee type person, but who wouldn't want to bite into a Charlie Brown happy face? ...or is that just my way of thinking? (Because I'm imagining a Jack Skellington one for Halloween.)

Cake Ball Tips
1. Chill the cake-and-frosting mixture well (at least 2 hours) before you shape the balls. Freeze the balls at least 6 hours before dipping. Before dipping, make sure the cake balls aren't frozen solid because after being dipped, the coating has a tendency to crack when drying. Pre-dipped cake balls can be kept frozen for weeks.

2. To form the balls, use a melon scoop for uniform size. Small balls are easier to eat.

3. Work in small batches when dipping, keeping the rest in the freezer.

4. Use toothpicks, a fork or a skewer to manipulate the balls when dipping. Perfectionists may want to buy a candy-dipping fork because it ensures even coating of each cake ball to make it look like a truffle.

5. Use oil-based candy dye to color frosting. Start with a few drops, and add a little at a time.

6. Lay the dipped balls on wax paper to harden, placing the spot where you pierced the ball down to cover the hole, or cover the hole with decoration.

7. For decoration, fill a narrow-tip plastic squeeze bottle with a contrasting color of melted coating and paint stripes over the balls, or sprinkle on rainbow jimmies, colored sparkling sugar or finely chopped nuts. (If you are using oil-based candy color to tint coating made from white- chocolate disks, decorate with sprinkles quickly as the oil candy color causes the coating to set rapidly. <

8. Dipped balls will keep at room temperature for days; if you refrigerate them, the coating will sweat. And who wants Schweatty balls? (I couldn't help myself.)

Clearly I need to get in the kitchen and whip up a little somethin' somethin'. Is it too early in the year for fudge?



( 42 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 10th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
Man, I am totally twelve. I laughed all through that balls recipe.

Is it too early in the year for fudge?

What kind of a question is that? It's never too early for fudge!
Sep. 10th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEEEEEE. "You're balls are really misshapen..."

I just added a link that has lots of ideas and pictures. Um, I really want a treat right now.

(And hahaha - I LIKE YOUR STANCE ON FUDGE. *Votes for you*)
Sep. 10th, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
I mean come on, "Small balls are easier to eat." What was I supposed to do with that?

Those smiley face ones are cute. And making me extremely in need of something chocolately now. *goes to root around in freezer for secret stash of dark chocolate chips*
Sep. 10th, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
A friend and I are going to road trip to Switzerland for clocks and chocolate and the end of the world. Wanna go? Heehee.
Sep. 10th, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
YEEEESSSSSSSSS. and those "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiicolaaaaaaaaaaa!" horn things, don't forget one of them! :D
Sep. 10th, 2008 07:38 pm (UTC)
Right!? We'll use them to battle the fourth dimension.
Sep. 10th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
They may actually call open a portal home! SAFETY FIRST.
Sep. 10th, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
nothing like a running ball gag.

Sep. 10th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)

Hey everybody have you seen my balls, they're big and salty and brown? If you ever need a quick pick-me-up just put my balls in your mouth. Ooooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls. Put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em!

Sep. 10th, 2008 08:12 pm (UTC)
I made bacon fudge a few weeks ago. Nummy! Never too early for fudge!
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:01 pm (UTC)
That sounds really good to me right now, I have to say.

The state fair this year promises deep fried bacon. I'll try it, but I'm not sure about that one. (But then again... isn't everything better when it's deep fried? We'll find out!)
Sep. 10th, 2008 08:14 pm (UTC)
You people cannot possibly have Shipley's up there! lol. I thought that was just a Southern chain. Oh, wait. Texan.. yeah the brain finally caught up, lol.

And you have successfully succeeded in making me hungry, just fyi :P
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:02 pm (UTC)
There aren't any Shipley's immediately by me, but yeah - Texas. :D I'll take one of those over a Krispy Kreme ANY DAY. (Ooooh, or Southern Maid donuts. Those are pretty awesome, too.)

Hahahaha, MY WORK HERE IS DONE, muwah ah ah!
Sep. 10th, 2008 10:01 pm (UTC)
Definitely! I've never understood the Krispy Kreme craze. It was always one of my HS's biggest fundraisers and I was all hmm.. ok. I don't reckon we have a Southern Maid. I'm pretty much a Shipley's faithful. There's one close to my dad's and one close to my summer job. Oh, nothing wakes you up better at 7am than a Shipley's sugar high <3

YOU DROVE ME TO CHOCOLATE. And I was doing so good this week! (I'm trying to cut back on my sugar. I will not get the freshman 15! lol) Oh well..
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:04 pm (UTC)
how yummy do those cake bites look? (I'm assuming you clicked on the link. YUMMERS.)

Anne, I haaaaaate grasshoppers. Hate them. And you know, I'm pretty chill about bugs in my garden. But these are those huge, brown, voracious-appetite grasshoppers and they freak me out. BLECH.

Isn't the world of physics so exciting right now?! I can't wait for it to get all souped up and then BLAMMO! New worlds!
Sep. 10th, 2008 08:24 pm (UTC)
That's a brilliant idea. I'm going to have to try that the next time I make carrot cake. I'll just use my own recipes but crumbling then mixing in the frosting? Genius! Thanks for sharing.

Now I've got "Chocolate Salty Balls" from South Park in my head. Thanks.
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:07 pm (UTC)
I read it and was all, "YES, HAVE SOME." I want them in my mouth right now.

And you're welcome for the ear worm. ;)
Sep. 10th, 2008 08:45 pm (UTC)
Your icon is so perfect!

I never thought I would learn so much about cake balls.

Australia's national cake-like object is the Lamington, which would make you weep inconsolably. Here's the "recipe" so you can mourn my country's cakely ineptitude.

1. Cut a big square/rectangular pan of plain sponge cake into biggish cubes of plain sponge cake. Use the most commercial, longest-keeping, tasteless sponge cake you can find. Then let it lie around a bit to dry out.

2. Frost it with a vaguely cocoa-tasting spread. Make sure it's gritty and dry.

3. Roll the cubes in old, dry, tasteless coconut.

4. Serve at every fête, fundraiser and festival. Rave about it to everyone. Invent "gourmet" versions for food magazines. Laud it as Australia's great culinary tradition.
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)
You know, if the cake wasn't dried out and flavorless, and the filling not gritty, that sounds really flippin' good. however I am sad that you rarely (if ever) get fed a good version of it.

But hahahaha to the "gormet" versions for food magazines. That's how coconut cake is here, too. REAL coconut cake is as hard to find as hen's teeth. The versions usually available are dry, dusty, and flavorless.
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC)
I guess you don't want to live in the world without shrimp.

Cake balls. I'm sure there's a moist and delicious joke in there somewhere.

And particle accelerator rap. Because scientists like to dance.
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:10 pm (UTC)
Never in a world sans camarones! Yo soy love shrimps. :D

HAHAhAHAHAHA - thank you so much for that link!! That's awesome and hilarious.
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC)
Did you see their link to the actual lyrics and a download?

I can't stop singing this! My son is now theorizing about all the new dimensions they'll find.
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:51 pm (UTC)
When they started singing about rolled up dimensions, I once again decided that I would have flunked theoretical physics. It gets way too weird.

But seeing the lyrics was way cool. It really does explain things (and I am now flashing back to Tom Leher.) My favorite part of the vid was when they showed evil Spidey and sing about anti-matter. hee.
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:14 pm (UTC)
using toothpicks or forks to manipulate the balls

I'm doing the Beavis and Butthead "huh huh" laugh riiiiiight now.
Sep. 10th, 2008 09:29 pm (UTC)

I'm right there with you. And BWAH HA HA to your icon!!
Sep. 10th, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)
no recipe for Chocolate Salty Balls?

I haz disappointment
Sep. 10th, 2008 10:42 pm (UTC)
I'm still needing it! and chef died

In his honor:
Hey everybody have you seen mmy balls?
They're big and salty and brown.
if you ever need a quick pick-me-up just still my balls in your mouth.
Ooooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls.
Put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em!
Sep. 10th, 2008 10:46 pm (UTC)
Yes, Chef died...but his recipe lives on forever. here you go:

Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls

1C Graham Cracker Pie Crust

1/3 to 1/2 C Corn Syrup

1C Chopped or ground nuts.


Mix Cracker Crust and nuts in a bowl, slowly add corn syrup until they get to be a stiff gooey mix. Don't make these to soft. You want them to hold together and be slightly tacky.

Kneed the mixture with your hands, which is especially fun for kids, or use a wooden spoon. If they are too soft add more nuts or more crust. You can also let this sit out and it will become harder.


Melt 6 oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips, in a bowl, a double boiler is better, but a microwave is fine chocolate will not look melted in the microwave so just try 1 1/2 to 2 Min. maximum! Then stir and it will become a soft mixture.

Make a dry mixture of 2T granulated sugar and 1t salt

Make balls about the size of a shooter marble that's about 3/4" or smaller.

Roll the balls in the sugar and salt mixture then roll then in chocolate. Make a thin covering. You can use a spoon, or two forks. Or your fingers. Whatever.

Put the soft, warm, chocolate salty balls on wax paper or aluminum foil and put them in the Fridge to cool.

After the chocolate cools they are ready to serve...
Sep. 10th, 2008 11:06 pm (UTC)
Bad ass! Thanks for that!
Sep. 11th, 2008 12:07 am (UTC)
Sep. 11th, 2008 11:49 am (UTC)
I mean.... it's cake! Who doesn't like cake? on a STICK!
Sep. 11th, 2008 12:27 am (UTC)
I love the idea of Jack Skellington cake pops! You can get black pipe cleaners for arms. Oh, all the round headed possibilities.
Sep. 11th, 2008 11:50 am (UTC)
I plan on going nuts for Halloween. How freaking cute would Jack Skellington be? Chocolate inside (ooooh, or red velvet for the blooooooood)
Sep. 11th, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
Only for you, Stoney. Only for you.
Sep. 11th, 2008 11:48 am (UTC)

Oh my god, that's hilarious. <3
Sep. 11th, 2008 03:03 am (UTC)
I'm stealing your balls.
Sep. 11th, 2008 11:51 am (UTC)
They're sewed on, yo! *grabs and grunts*
Sep. 11th, 2008 05:06 am (UTC)
It is NEVER too early for fudge.

Just sayin' ...
Sep. 11th, 2008 11:51 am (UTC)
You know, you are 100% right.

Sep. 11th, 2008 03:18 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, that blog has such great ideas! I loved the cupcake bites, so purty!
Sep. 11th, 2008 03:55 pm (UTC)
I knew you would love that site! All the cuppie cakes! The weetiny bites of yumness!! <3 <3 <3
( 42 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
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