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Open mouth breathing

okay, so maybe kinda you could say Palin won the debate because
  • she didn't crap her pants
  • she didn't stick her tongue out at Biden
  • she didn't clomp to the podium in a Pretty Princess Outfit with a foil and rhinestone tiara and a feathered sceptre in her mommy's Fancy Shoes
  • she didn't mis-pronounce words, just used the wrong ones
  • she didn't go into a trance and cast demons into her opponent
  • she didn't carry a Bible to the podium to glean her facts for the basis of various arguments

So, if that's the bar set for her to "win" the debate, then yes. She did. The rest of us that are tired of "noo-kyoo-lar" and "strategery" feel that she is an intellectual boob that is only a believer in Women's Rights if that means all the Cosmos the boys can buy you, free reign at the shoe shop, the freedom to have a Girls Night to watch the latest RomCom and then write on sparkly notebook paper with glitter pens how you feel about each one of your bestest buds and share it while getting facials.

In my best Palin goose honk: "I'd like to send a shout out out to my homes, Ceephus and my baby daddy Tahd. Lil' Ree Ree and Big Mike, I've got big ups for ya [wink] and to all my hahkey mahms kickin it at field number Nine... [fist heart peace kiss] For those that couldn't be with us here today.... [pours gatorade from a 40 oz. size bottle on the stage] Gahd bless."

Biden. I believe the kids say: PWNED.

(Guys, I'm almost hung over from the drinking game my husband and I played during the debates. Wink? Drink. Misunderstanding the things coming out of her mouth? Drink. Using the former Press Secretary's name instead of the actual commanding officer in Afghanistan? Drink. Etc.)

[ETA] Palin Debate Flow Chart. AHAHAHAHAHA. Awesome.


( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
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Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:23 pm (UTC)
I think your icon pwns everything.

Speaking of hangovers... check your e-mail! *hugs*
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:29 pm (UTC)
Ooooooh! *zooms*
... - lynnenne - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:31 pm (UTC)
Good lord. Is she REALLY that bad? o.O
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:37 pm (UTC)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:35 pm (UTC)
She did mispronounce words, though, didn't she? I mean, of the 20 times I heard her say "nuclear," only ONE was said properly, the rest were all "Nookyouler" as far as I could here.

And, for the record, I lived in Alaska for a couple years, and I never, ever heard that accent of hers except on people who were visiting from North Dakota. And they used their mouths to speak, not their noses.

I didn't see anyone actually win that last night. I think that so many people went in to the debate looking for a train wreck (Dumb person vs. Smart Person who says relentlessly dumb things!) that it was pretty anticlimactic. They were both prepped within an inch of their lives and held to the approved talking points just fine. So, yeah, whatever. Not really a vote-changer. The punditry folk at the 24 hour news channels must be so disappointed. The only thing that would have been better for them than a VP cage match would be if noted White Girl Sarah Palin disappeared under "mysterious circumstances" or if Joe Biden did some silly voices and waved his hands around while shouting about stock picks.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:40 pm (UTC)
Well, considering the latest White house boob has been mispronouncing it for 8 years, I think the general populace thinks it *is* pronounced "nu-kyoo-lar."

Oh' she's freaking Fargo with the "ya betcha!" accent, not Alaska, absolutely. I dated a guy in college from Dead Horse, and you don't get more ALaskan than that. Didn't have much of an accent at all.

I do think that Biden showed that he actually knows what he's talking about, that he understands an exponential amount in comparison. Because my dad is "undecided" (meaning, he wants to vote Repub as per usual, but doesn't know if he can this time) I thought Biden won - won my dad, that is.
... - spiralleds - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - bienegold - Oct. 3rd, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:39 pm (UTC)
Palin was mediocre at best, but maybe that's what it was - best according to her own standards. She didn't do embarassingly, infuriating horrid, so they're breathing a little easier. I'm just a little sad for Biden, being doubted by that is slightly annoying.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:41 pm (UTC)
Exactly: the standards were so low for her, she just had to not spill her drink down her front to be declared "the winner." How shameful - she has no grasp of world understanding, and we NEED INTELLIGENT PEOPLE again, you know? Geh.
... - icymorning - Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - bienegold - Oct. 3rd, 2008 11:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:52 pm (UTC)
*lol* Thank gahd you didn't play a "maverick"-based drinking game, huh? You'd be driving the porcelain bus today, missy. My 10 y/o was yelling at the screen by the end of the debate: "Look! Another wink! What is up with that winking?!" Both she and my friend C. were like, why must she talk to us like she's reading a children's story? Lordy.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:59 pm (UTC)
"talk to us like she's reading a children's story" BWAH HA HA hA!! Oh, that's perfect!

As is your icon, good god, I literally LOL'd at that. HEE
... - mere_ubu - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:18 pm (UTC)
She won, because she didn't lose. Honestly.

Fortunately, winning just means she didn't tank her candidacy NOW. I don't see much hope for her either way, but she forstalled the inevitable. With the moderator's choice of relatively soft-ball questions, I didn't see any chance for either person to express any real depth, and that's annoying. And she's the queen of shallow, so it worked for her.

Biden didn't win because Biden wasnt BIDEN. He was just this guy. He had only one 'human' moment, and had NONE of his traditional power. I was gravely disappointed with his effort. You can't shoot fish in a barrel if you never pull the trigger! As well, he wasn't there to debate Palin, but McCain. Had I been her, one of my rebuttals (at about 1 hour in) would have been "Hey, Joe? I'm **RIGHT HERE**. How about trying to debate ME, and not McCain?" It'd have been a defining moment. Of course, he can't debate her, because she's mealy-mouthed and hasn't got anything TO debate, but that's something that could have been capitalized on, and not ignored.

I noted that both of them had a way of not answering questions, but I admired Palin's "I'm not going to answer the way the moderator or you want me to", as it was solid to her constituency's belief that the liberal media and liberal politicians are joined at the hip (true or not). That Gwen would call them BOTH on not answering was pretty slick, too.

Nuclear, by the way, is uncomfortable to say, as the tonal order is not something we use a lot. And, with similar words like particular, peculiar, etc, it is VERY common for the alternative (not wrong) pronunciation to be used by native speakers. I use both interchangeably, depending on the speed at which I'm talking, because I stutter. The harsher form can tie up my tongue for a moment. Doesn't mean I'm ignorant.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:32 pm (UTC)
Wow, we are falling on opposite sides of a few things, mostly that I'm being funny here with my commentary on why she won.

Also, as I'm from Texas, which is commonly ridiculed for our way of pronouncing things, I've never heard "noo-kyoo-lar" but only the proper way to say it.

I'm not seeing a lot of agreement that she "won" on various media sites, only that she didn't stick her foot in her mouth enough to start a stampede away from her ticket. That's not a "win" in my book, but clearly we view things differently. *shrug*
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:23 pm (UTC)
I had to stop watching. After my gap-jawed reactions to things like "we need to tap our own energy sources" (read:oil) followed up by "and we need stricter environmental standards", then later "funny how the Democrats are focused so much on the past and the current administration's mistakes when we're talking about the future" followed by "we're going to look to the mistakes made by the current administration and learn from them" I began to feel my blood pressure rising to dangerous levels. I just...can't even...HOW CAN A PERSON NOT REALIZE THEY'VE SO COMPLETELY CONTRADICTED THEMSELVES IN THE SPACE OF A MINUTE? Gah!

It would've been much better had I done the drinking game, too. I may have ended up looped, but I also would've been happier.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:39 pm (UTC)
My husband jumped up and moaned, hands on his cheeks when she said in the SAME RESPONSE that 1) there's not enough gov't and then 2) there's too much gov't.

I think it's been scientifically proven that you cannot have your cake and eat it too, good lord!!

(Oh, and she called Joe Biden Senator O'Biden. Uh...)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:43 pm (UTC)
I honestly am so frustrated at the perception that it was a tie, or that she actually came out on top, just because she wasn't a complete failure. It aggravates me so deeply...gyargh. On the other hand, I sort of liked Biden before this but mostly thought he was crazy; I came out of this debate so energized by him I'd vote him for President, if Obama wasn't running! Hee. I think Biden not only "didn't fail," I think he legitimately won. He was far more in control of the conversation, eloquent but approachable, armed with facts and bird-dogging McCain as he should (because no matter whether or not he was there to debate her, people would've responded to him as 'attacking' Palin, which sucks! I agree! But that's how the world perceives it right now). I thought it was a stunning turn on his part. His final speech made our little group of people burst into applause. :)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:50 pm (UTC)
See, you've gotten my point, that just because she didn't start crying or drop her note cards that she wins?? NO. And most polls are agreeing with us: she's a BOOB.

I actually like Biden, and I have liked him. He's had a few moments that haven't made me a huge fan of his, but overall, I think he's been a competent public serviceman, and has been involved with some issues that mean a LOT to me. (Bosnia, women's rights, violence against women) My #1 beef with him is the damn 700 mile fence along the Texas/Mexico border. It's stupid, and none of us want it. NONE of the people on the border want it. I wish he'd give up on that.

Aside from that, he's intelligent, he's not bouyed by special interests, he's the second poorest member of Congress, for Pete's sake! I loved that he smacked Palin down with ACTUAL facts, something he and Obama both have the ability to do with intelligence and grace. They're not attack dogs, they're just strong enough to stand on their own, armed with actual information.

I actually missed his final speech, because of noise upstairs with my kids, and a DVR that cut out. ARGH. Thanks for reminding me to go YouTube it!
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:44 pm (UTC)
Nukyoolar drives me nuts, but then so do a lot of verbal language things by a lot of people. So while I flinched a little every time she said, I mostly ignored it. What got me was how well she managed to pronounce Ahmadinejad. They must have worked with her on that one for HOURS and written it down phonetically on her notes. I was amused by how many times she said his name rather than just saying "leaders" like Biden. It was like she was so proud of herself or something for being able to trot out that doozy of a name. Then she flubbed on Kim Jong Il and those hours of practice were pretty much confirmed for me.

I was so amazed by the Ahmadinejad though that I woke up this morning with it stuck in my head. *sigh* I will be singing "Ahmadinejad, Ahmadinejad" all day. And for that the debate was a lose/lose for me. ;-)

I did my pushups and crunches during the first part because it wasn't like they were breaking my concentration on form or even counting. Sad. Very sad.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:52 pm (UTC)
Hahahahaha, I bet you're right with her saying it over and over to show that she COULD. I did notice that she said the complete wrong name for the leader of the forces in Afghanistan - she said McClellan, who is not the Army guy. (His name escapes me, but then, I'm not running for the second most powerful job in the world, am I?)

Joe definitely spent the first 30 minutes feeling her out, her debate style, how far he could go. But once he found his groove, I thought he was an excellent debater. He and Obama have terrific skills in that arena.
... - moosesal - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - moosesal - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:51 pm (UTC)
"(Guys, I'm almost hung over from the drinking game my husband and I played during the debates. Wink? Drink. Misunderstanding the things coming out of her mouth? Drink. Using the former Press Secretary's name instead of the actual commanding officer in Afghanistan? Drink. Etc.)"

Geez babe, from what I've been hearing, shouldn't you have alcohol poisoning after all that drinking? LOL
Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:53 pm (UTC)

Possibly! (Good think I have charcoal pills to make sure I don't DIE.) :D
... - drusplace - Oct. 3rd, 2008 02:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:34 pm (UTC)
And she made diagrammable sentences for the most part. I mean, the content made no real sense, but they mostly resembled English.

I don't even know how one could SURVIVE a Palin drinking game. *cringes*
Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:46 pm (UTC)
"I don't even know how one could SURVIVE a Palin drinking game."

I'm 52% liver. otherwise, I'd be dead. ;)
... - tricksterquinn - Oct. 3rd, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2008 04:02 pm (UTC)
I wish I had known about her answering strategy for college exams..

Also, FUCK YEAH BIDEN. Who'da thought he'd be the most clear and direct of the four debaters?
Oct. 3rd, 2008 04:05 pm (UTC)
Yeah - it's like the joke about the test paper, "Find X." *points to the x on the triangle* "Here it is." That's her skill set!!!

You know, Biden gets into trouble when there's open ended time frames. When it's structured, he does well. just like my kids with the structure. :D
Oct. 3rd, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC)
*anoints you with oils to cast out the witchery*

Listen up, Alpacas! I gotta be straight-up now tell me do you really wanna love, me forever? oh-oh-oh you betcha! While you're knitting sweaters in Afghanistan from those magic goats you have there, I'm being cosmopolitan and reading a newspaper that I can't remember the name of. And then I'm going *winks* to see *winks* Freddy VS. Jason.

Or was it The Punisher VS. Spiderman?

No, no...it was...Ladyhawke VS. The Flaming Carrot! Youbetcha!
Oct. 3rd, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
Woman, go listen to your phone message from me! WOMAN!

Also: I have a bracelet too!
Oct. 3rd, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC)
I think Sarah Palin as a person is probably a sweetheart of a lady, as a VP candidate I want to slap her in the mouth. She sounds like she's running for Den Mother not the American VP. I hated her "dog-gone-it's" and "We're gonna fix America!" Talk like a politican, lady. It's irriating because you know so many woman out there are thinking "oh my God, she's just like me!" I can't stand her. Although, I was amazed she didn't completely blow it. But she definitley ignored every question and said what she wanted "I'm not going to answer the questions you ask me, I'll tell you what I have to say" or whatever the hell she said.

I think Biden did awesome. When he choked up about his son? Oh dear God!

The one thing that absolutely irked me about Palin was how she simply said "No, I do not support gay marriage." Honey, you live in a country that because of its freedoms you're allowed to even run for VP but you oppose gay marriage? WTF! I hate her.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 08:20 pm (UTC)
She totally sounds like she's angling for the President of the PTA to me, too. But I don't think she's really sweet IRL. She seems to me like the kind of woman that is surface sweet, but has a meeeeeean edge to her underneath, always looking for a way out. Like the kind of person that uses derrogatory language/slurs in her house with her 'closest' friends.

Biden did a TERRIFIC job, didn't he? Made me like him even more. (Oooh, and ditto again on the gay marriage statement. UGH.)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 07:57 pm (UTC)
You know I <3 you hard!
I'll stand by my Facebook status.
I was pleasantly pleased to watch Biden kick her loony ass.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 08:21 pm (UTC)
!!! *Goes to look RIGHT NOW!*

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I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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