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By "that" I mean the gauntlet thrown down by my son. Guess who just walked in the door with a copy of Breaking Dawn? My son. "I know you said I couldn't read this, but there's nothing you can do about it, now."

Oh, re-hee-heeeaaally? I walked off, hands on hips, sucking in air, trying to calm myself. Then I smiled. Mine is an evil smile.

"Fine. Your punishment for openly defying me and being a jerk about it is that you will read the book. All of it. Cover to cover. And believe me, you're going to want to stop. But I'm not going to let you. And there will be a quiz when you're done."

I walked off laughing, he sat there, stunned, the tiniest of lip quivers forming.

Score one for this mama.


( 52 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Deleted comment)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the dirt.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC)
When I told you to call me that, I told you to MEAN IT!
Oct. 3rd, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha! You sparkle!
Oct. 3rd, 2008 08:59 pm (UTC)
Hahaha. Nice.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC)


I now have this image of your son, penitent and begging you to let him stop reading, offering to do his siblings' chores and eat all of his vegetables.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:01 pm (UTC)

I'm going to print this out and keep it, just to show him when that inevitably DOES happen. :D
... - solipsiae - Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:01 pm (UTC)
Oh, it's on! I admire your skillful administration of the maternal smackdown. Can one of the quiz questions be: when will I learn that my mama is always right? ;)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEE!! *adds that to the growing list of questions."

#46 "Describe, using your own words, the sound of the dripping blood off the delivery table as compared to Bella's screams as her husband bites out a child from her organs. Use descriptors."
... - ellid - Oct. 4th, 2008 12:39 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:16 pm (UTC)
HA! Take that rebel son. Make him read ALL of them!
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:20 pm (UTC)
You could be arrested for child abuse, you know.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:24 pm (UTC)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:46 pm (UTC)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:54 pm (UTC)
Wow. That's harsh. I hope none of your readers report you to Child Protective Services.

Also, you may want to do his future girlfriends a favor, and let him know that women with brain cells to rub together do not find it quite so sparkle-rific when their boyfriends 1) Carry them around because they are too inept to walk 2) Stare at them while they sleep and 3) Vandalize their cars to prevent them from interacting with others.

And that'[s....one to grow on.

(Incidentally, I just remembered that episode of Friends, where Chandler goes ballistic at his new creepy roommate, who indignantly replies, "Don't get so mad! What about all those nights I watched you sleep and you *Didn't* wake up!?!?!?")
Oct. 3rd, 2008 10:06 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA!!! I forgot that ep of Friends!! And they finally convinced him he didn't live there by just having Chandler move back in. HEE. Oh, I loved that show.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 09:55 pm (UTC)
That...that might be the best thing ever. Should I have children, I look forward to being this evil. :)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 10:01 pm (UTC)
LMAO! That is such an awesome response. :D
Oct. 3rd, 2008 10:18 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA *Evil laugh*

So guess what I'm seeing tomorrow? Blood on the Highway. Oh yeah.
Oct. 4th, 2008 01:28 am (UTC)
NO WAY!! Oh, hooray! I'll say this: it starts off a little slow, then hits you full force. Feel free to tell me what you think.

As long as it isn't "you suck." HAHAHAHAHA.
Oct. 3rd, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
Lol! This made my day. Good for you! :)
Oct. 3rd, 2008 10:57 pm (UTC)
After he takes the quiz, will you please post the questions and his answers?
Oct. 4th, 2008 05:33 pm (UTC)
I second this motion!
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( 52 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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