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Random statement of purpose, etc.

I did something that you shouldn't do unless you're a glutton for punishment: I googled my user name. I had no idea how far-reaching that ridiculous Twilight/LDS comparison spread. I kinda knew, but... it's over 3 million hits as of this posting. O_O As a result, I have a lot of new traffic here, and I know that people can be lazy and not want to hunt around for stuff, so I'll re-state some things:

  • I do not pretend to be an essayist, a member of the literati, or that this blog is anything but a source of personal amusement and camaraderie. (Nutshell: I ain't a genius, and I ain't claiming to be one.)

  • I like to be ridiculous and laugh. I also like to cuss. A lot.

  • I don't have an ax to grind, this is just my journal, where I like to talk about things what crop up in my think box. And I'm fairly certain that's what journals are for, yes?

  • I have a great rack and pretty ankles. Contrary to how I may come across here, I'm fairly nice and likeable with occasional moments of bitchery just like everyone else, I suppose.

  • I don't automatically friend people back, and I think it's a little weird when complete strangers demand that I do. Jeez, buy me dinner before you expect to get a little, you know? (lol) It's a reading list. Just like how you don't read every section of a newspaper, I don't read every journal/blog on the intertubenets. If that's upsetting to you, you might need to breathe more deeply. Or not read me, whatever keeps your blood pressure level. Or you know, start talking with me so we can get to know each other online. That's really easy; I like talking.

  • I try to answer every comment I receive, but it's not always possible. It's not meant as a slight, I just have lots going on in my actual life, and some things slip through the cracks. Just ask that one child I think I gave birth to... I feed it, so I guess I birthed it. Where did that kid go? We were on a pier - wide spaces - loud splash - and something happened. Huh.

  • I'm attempting to publish a book. It may never happen. It's specific, and it's meant to be funny (and teach you some things all sneaky like.) You can read first draft excerpts here, which is also where I keep the majority of my religious-discussion posts.

  • I go back and forth on whether or not to mark this LJ as "adult concepts." For one, I don't like that I have to define my LJ as that, since it's not always "adult." But then, I don't want to get in trouble for dropping F bombs and laughing about bad pr0n, either. Subject to change, I guess I should say.

  • I listened to two Australian guys talk about Twilight last night on a podcast, and not only are they funny, they state that everything they needed to know about Twilight, they learned from me. How freaking cool (and crazy!) is that?

  • I like tequila. And nachos. Both of which sound delicious right about now. Lunch?


( 73 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 8th, 2009 05:07 pm (UTC)
I did something that you shouldn't do unless you're a glutton for punishment: I googled my user name.

I did that and found out there's another fiveandfour out there. She seems to be completely different from me and lives on the other side of the world, so I don't suppose the two of us will get confused too often. Still and all, I found it weird. I had a certain logic in choosing the name, so I couldn't help but wonder how she came up with the same one. (I haven't googled the name in awhile...now I'm tempted to do it again, dammit!)
Jan. 8th, 2009 05:14 pm (UTC)
If you wanna really trip out, use www.searchme.com and you can SEE the pages where you're linked, which is really cool. (edited to add that I just put their widget on my user info page.)

There are two other Stoney321s out in the ether but they're not actively online much. I'd love to just be "stoney" but the name has a squatter on it.

Edited at 2009-01-08 05:16 pm (UTC)
Jan. 8th, 2009 05:21 pm (UTC)
I think I 'met' you when someone pointed out something you'd posted about some bit of prejudice concerning a tv program, someone who had a 'garden' business, and an objection to the gay relationship portrayed on said program.

I admire you because you say what you think, and you say it well.

Make that podcast. I think "C".

Have a shot of tequila for me - I may be snowed in at work tonight!

Jan. 8th, 2009 05:42 pm (UTC)
Ah, the Outside Pride hate mail, yes, I remember that. Yeesh, I was innundated with comments on that one - I was completley unprepared for that!

Shot of tequila for you, check. Better make it two. ;)
Jan. 8th, 2009 05:25 pm (UTC)
I may have said this before
but it's been a while and it bears repeating: I think I love you. You are made of The Most Awesomest Awesome of All. It is good that I am vindicated in my opinion of you.

Jan. 8th, 2009 05:42 pm (UTC)
Aww, that's sweet, Mae.
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 8th, 2009 05:43 pm (UTC)
I'm a big ol' fan of bullet points! Lists for everything!

Feel free to stalk it! Lurk, comment, all good.
Jan. 8th, 2009 05:40 pm (UTC)
C: All of the above. DO IT.

Tequila and nachos are always a valid lunch, and I don't even drink tequila anymore. Stupid spending formative years living on the border of Mexico. UGH.

Random: I've been painting my cousin's new house and thinking of you. ♥

Jan. 8th, 2009 05:44 pm (UTC)
*takes note* I need my voice back to normal (had a cough and I'm very Kathleen Turner Overdrive right now.)

Aw, painting = me! Funny, I first read that as "partying" and was equally as touched, LOL.
Jan. 8th, 2009 05:57 pm (UTC)

I listened to two Australian guys talk about Twilight last night on a podcast, and not only are they funny, they state that everything they needed to know about Twilight, they learned from me. How freaking cool (and crazy!) is that?

It's EXTREMELY cool. But not surprising, since your posts on topics like that are always so awesome. You are famous on da interwebs!
Jan. 8th, 2009 06:04 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, I totally want to get business cards made up that read:

Internet Celebrity

I'VE ARRIVED! You hear that, World?! ;)
... - beadattitude - Jan. 8th, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 8th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
OMG, do the letters thing. OMG.

Also, I do not like when the people insisting that you friend them whine. A-like so:

Friender: Pleeeeeeeese? Pleeeeeeeese? Pleeeeeeeese friend meeeeee?

Me: No. ::stab::

Have purchased everything to copy your pork roast recipe. I drooled all over my grocery list. Luckily, I was alone at the time.

I cannot WAIT to go read OhMyHeck, so, forthwith, I shall not wait. ::squishes you::
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
Oooh, hope the pork turns out great for you, too. And really: the longer you roast it, the better it gets!
Jan. 8th, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
I like your journal(s) just the way they are, I wouldn't change a thing. I did discover, upon web searching my screen name, a whole bunch of entries into places that I had forgotten existed...but no other person who is just like me.
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
Of course there's no other person just like you! We're all special snowflakes. :D
Jan. 8th, 2009 06:38 pm (UTC)
Did you hear about what's going up here in Canada?



:) Saw it on the front page of the local newspaper and thought of you, haha.
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:06 pm (UTC)
I did! I need to add an ETA to spare y'all from coding on my behalf. ;)

Thank you for thinking of me, though.
... - effervescent - Jan. 8th, 2009 07:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 8th, 2009 06:59 pm (UTC)
Hi Stoney!!!
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:06 pm (UTC)
HI BABE! The best advice I got in 2008 comes from you, btw. Massage = better overall health! <3
... - turnonmyheels - Jan. 8th, 2009 07:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 8th, 2009 07:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - turnonmyheels - Jan. 8th, 2009 07:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 8th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:19 pm (UTC)
There isn't that many kseenaa's out there. Gladly. Sadly though my nick that I wanted to have, KSena. And that people call me is taken. By a russian. :-P
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:55 pm (UTC)
Bah, it's frustrating when you want a handle, but it's already taken. I wish I could nab the "stoney" journal, but there's a guy that's sat on it for years without updating.
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:27 pm (UTC)
Damn, girl! You famous n shit!

I feel privileged to be on the fringes of being friends with you. *nods*
Jan. 8th, 2009 07:56 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, I'm SEW AWESUM. You can kiss your screen when it's on my user info page. I shall allow it this time.
Jan. 8th, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
I stumbled upon your LJ through various arcane means. Your Twlight reviews made me waste a bunch of time at work, mostly trying to keep myself from breaking out in hysterical cackling. I most certainly will be adding you to my flist!
Jan. 8th, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
Welcome aboard! I'm really relaxed here, lurk, comment, whatever, it's all good.
Jan. 8th, 2009 08:39 pm (UTC)
OMG PLEZ FRIEND ME! I will die without your friending touch, I will be invalidated, drifting about the internet alone and unloved. Only you by hitting a button on LJ which means you may or may not be reading my posts give me the acceptance that I've always craved for. Having your name on my userinfo post will instantly lift me up into the A List and I'll be invited out to all the cool Internet Parties that nobody tells me about.

It's not that I just want you as my friend, because god knows friendship is instantly born by putting a complete stranger on your reading list, but you could make or break me on LJ. Using you I can be introduced to all the IT Girls and become one myself, popular, beautiful, mainlining thousands of grams of comments every day.

And the way to win your heart, to make you realise that friending me is the smart thing to do: whining caps in broken english and passive aggressive guilt trips. \o/ FOR THE WIN!
Jan. 8th, 2009 08:51 pm (UTC)

Your whole comment is made of puppies rolled in glitter, ran through a sausage maker, and fashioned into a bunny-shaped cake. (They grind up better than bunnies, who knew?)

YOU, my friend, are for the win.
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 8th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
You did? Which one? [/narcissist]

Hahaha, how sad is it that I practiced different voices last night? SO SAD.

Oooh, way to go, lady! Melted carrots on lettuce is no substitute, though. :(
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 8th, 2009 09:56 pm (UTC)
I figure now would be a good time to say hi. So hi, there. I found your LJ on the Reddit, when someone posted your Twilight review. I lol'd pretty hard. I check here every now and then. You have a great writing style and an awesome sense of humor.

Good luck on your book. From what I've read, I'd love to read more. Some of it rings pretty familiar to me. I grew up as a Jehovah's Witness, so reading about your experiences is very enlightening.
Jan. 8th, 2009 11:39 pm (UTC)
Hello! And how nice of you to say! I'm really just a spazz that sits down and brain dumps, so it's a wonder I'm able to communicate any ideas...

Oh, there are LOADS of similarities with the membership of JW and LDS, yes. I've had some friends from devout families (are there any other kind?*G*) and we have a lot of things in common.
Jan. 8th, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
Hi, I'm friending you because of the Twilight-LDS thing this entry mentioned. You get extra love for me because I was raised LDS in Utah and like you, I am also working on a book about that whole experience (although mine is a bit more serious than the hilarity I read at your other journal), plus you are funny. No need to friend me back if you don't want to; I just like reading your stuff.

Okay, now I sound like a total stalker. I'll leave you alone now.
Jan. 8th, 2009 11:38 pm (UTC)
Nah, to sound like a total stalker, you'd have to describe what I'm wearing, like how you're wearing those old jeans of yours and that favorite hoodie. You wore it last Wednesday, too. (Hahaha.)

I'm glad to know I didn't piss you off with my LDS stuff! That's always reassuring to hear. :)
... - soalivesofree - Jan. 9th, 2009 09:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 9th, 2009 10:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 8th, 2009 10:40 pm (UTC)
I love that your Twilight/LDS comparison is being lauded far and wide. I've recommended it to a couple mothers who have no freaking clue what their children are reading.

I read this completely wrong: I have a great rack and pretty ankles. Contrary to how I may come across here... Yeah, my brain totally missed both punctuation and capitalization in that little passage. Actually, you come across with a great rack, pretty ankles and six pack abs. You always come off very toned!

I would love to hear your dramatization of the Edward Cullen letters. I'm laughing just thinking of it.
Jan. 8th, 2009 11:37 pm (UTC)
I like that I come off toned, that is great! Hahahaha.

Oooh, I'm glad the idea of the Cullen letters is a do-able thing. I'm so lame and needy, LISTEN TO ME! READ ME! LOVE ME! Ahahaha.
Jan. 8th, 2009 10:51 pm (UTC)
I so want to hear your Cullen letters, so I am all for it. *waits*
Also you forgot to mention your purty face and that you rock the mike.
Jan. 8th, 2009 11:34 pm (UTC)
Girl, I'm getting funky on the mike like an old batch of collard greens!
It's the capital S (oh yes, so funky fresh)n, double o p, D o double g y d o double g (ya see?)
Jan. 8th, 2009 11:24 pm (UTC)
Sometimes it's good to bullet point the basics! You could link from your userinfo, if you want a place to send people when they don't seem to understand stuffeses.
Jan. 8th, 2009 11:35 pm (UTC)
Look at you with the smarts! Derp. That makes all the sense in the world. (But you know first hand that I'm filled to the brim with nonsense. *G)

Jan. 8th, 2009 11:32 pm (UTC)
Look at you with the fame and fabulosity! Why haven't I heard anything about your new movie?

Hey, I meant to tell you, when I was in San Francisco I had this wine, and it was DE-LISH-OUS. Like velvet in my mouth, it was so smooth. It even worked with shellfish, which is a rarity among cabs. If you happen to see it, give it a try. (I am pouting because they can't ship it to Canada. Stupid liquor laws.)
Jan. 8th, 2009 11:36 pm (UTC)
I'm been asked to not mention anything about St. Nick until the director releases info, but suffice it to say that you will hear about it soon. *bites lip*

Oooh, I've not had that, but I've liked a lot of the Sonoma wines. I'll give that a try for sure!! <3
... - lynnenne - Jan. 8th, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 8th, 2009 11:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - lynnenne - Jan. 9th, 2009 01:41 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 9th, 2009 01:32 am (UTC)
>>>>I have a great rack and pretty ankles. Contrary to how I may come across here, I'm fairly nice and likeable with occasional moments of bitchery, just like everyone else I suppose.<<<<

Wow! Me too! Are we long lost sisters?
Jan. 9th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
I think we are! Can I borrow your jeans?
Jan. 9th, 2009 02:01 am (UTC)
Someone linked your Twilight/LDS entries to a forum, and that's how I found you. It was very fascinating, because I hate Twilight and I hate the LDS...who knew it was because they were so interconnected?

I have quite a history with the Mormons, but I won't go into it here. It's too long for an LJ comment. But it involves kidnapping, brainwashing, and child abuse. A regular movie of the week type of thing! I managed to escape and grew up normal enough, but my four little half-siblings are still being raised Mormon. It drives me nuts because I really can't do anything about it... :(
Jan. 9th, 2009 01:54 pm (UTC)
Oh, good lord! How horrifying! That sounds like FLDS to me - were these polygamists? (And I understand your not wanting to discuss it.) I'm so sorry you suffered like that.
... - jadeddm - Jan. 9th, 2009 05:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jan. 9th, 2009 10:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - jadeddm - Jan. 10th, 2009 01:23 am (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 9th, 2009 03:15 am (UTC)
You're the bestest, my source for laughs and recipes!
Jan. 9th, 2009 01:54 pm (UTC)

*eats your icon*
Jan. 9th, 2009 06:26 am (UTC)
It comes down to this: The internet is serious business.

Despite having been linked by another person to your Twilight summary, I enjoy reading what you have to say anyway. It's your journal--do what you want with it. :)
Jan. 9th, 2009 01:55 pm (UTC)
ZOMG, it's sew sirius. (Hahaha, you're awesome.)

And one day, when I'm finished reading all the blogs ever, I'm going to be an internet lawyer! ;)
... - oleandervyce - Jan. 10th, 2009 04:07 am (UTC) - Expand
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( 73 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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