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I have a +6 bag of stupid

I don't know what freaking day it is. I have a week and change until Zombie!Jesus day? Alrighty, more time to plan, then.

I blame D & D for infecting me with demons. Anyone have a vorpal sword to smite them with? (Ahahaha, thanks for the awesome "D&D will cause suicide" links, sdwolfpup!)

In return, I leave you with a Jack Chick Tract that clearly illustrates the dangers of role play games with WITCHCRAFT and SATANISM. *tongue firmly in cheek* Won't someone think of the children? 20 sided-di = SUICIDE, I mean, it's all there for those willing (and brave enough) to SEE IT.

Comments

( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
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empresspatti
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:02 pm (UTC)
But hurray!! Some white guy comes along to save the day. Whew!
stoney321
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:03 pm (UTC)
That evil Dungeon Master got that little girl with the dragon toys to kill herself, woe!

I believe, I believe!!
sdwolfpup
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:08 pm (UTC)
D&D was to prepare me to enter a witches coven?!?

AWESOME. Why didn't I ever get MY initiation??? I CALL SHENANIGANS.
stoney321
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
No coven opened their doors to me and as a result, I didn't have the ability to cast binding spells over MY dad to let me buy $200 worth of DnD stuff!

SHENANIGANS IT IS!
dovil
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC)
I never played D&D but at university a group of us used to eat lunch in the Quad while upstairs the D&D players used to be yelling and screaming while the NORMAL (pro-marijuana group) used to meet up next to them. All I know is that they're an excitable lot and I always had the munchies.
stoney321
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC)
I was always DnD adjacent, woe. If only I had joined THAT cult instead of the one I grew up in!
... - dovil - Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
tabaqui
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:12 pm (UTC)
BWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

If only i could have cast a mind bondage spell on the guy at the bank, gotten him to give me some money!!

:)
stoney321
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
Man, the power I COULD have had if only I was a level six Ranger!!
... - gehayi - Apr. 3rd, 2009 07:18 am (UTC) - Expand
wickedsin
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
LOL I have that Chick tract saved to my favorites. I love showing it to people

(for mockery purposes only, of course)
stoney321
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
(oh, of course - the guy's CRAZY CAKES.)
... - wickedsin - Apr. 3rd, 2009 12:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
mangosorbet007
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC)
That site is highly disturbing. o_O (I'm an atheist myself, but ... wow.)
stoney321
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:42 pm (UTC)
You can't let it disturb you or you'll go crazy from the stupid over there. you just sit back and mock and feel superior. (Hey the Born Agains have been doing that to us atheists for years, right? *G*)
jgracio
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:20 pm (UTC)
It's silly.

I mean, females playing D&D? Absurd!

Now, if it was World of Darkness... :D
stoney321
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
Females CAN'T play role play games, because we're too busy having babies and cooking supper, am I right?

*scrubs linoleum obsessively*
... - jgracio - Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
ozma_katiebell
Apr. 2nd, 2009 10:27 pm (UTC)
I gotta tell you, as someone who also grew up isolated in religiosity, I enjoy your posts SO much it's almost sinful. That is, if I believed in all that sin shit. But yes, the D&D stuff takes me back. Not to mention backmasking, disco, and all of Satan's other sneaky tricks. The zombie Jesus thing is killing me! Keep it up!
stoney321
Apr. 2nd, 2009 11:16 pm (UTC)
Things of Satan...
And heavy metal being satanic, and early rap, and sleeveless tops, and jello without shaved carrots, and... ;)
... - tricksterquinn - Apr. 3rd, 2009 03:06 am (UTC) - Expand
domenowtrent
Apr. 3rd, 2009 02:44 am (UTC)
Last time I played, I had a Holy Vorpal Sword +10. I'll see if I can't find the character sheet for ya. ;-)

Also, at BYU I wrote an 18-paged paper on how D&D could be used as treatment for schizophrenia. Totally got an A.
tricksterquinn
Apr. 3rd, 2009 03:01 am (UTC)
I MEAN. WHAT?

You know. I don't even know where to start with that. *blinks*
gehayi
Apr. 3rd, 2009 07:13 am (UTC)
Oh, Dark Dungeons! That one's a classic. Have you ever read the MST of it? (Warning: This has audio files in the intro.)
(Deleted comment)
denelian
Apr. 3rd, 2009 09:25 pm (UTC)
so, D&D was often SILLY for me, as about the half the games i played before i was 15 were in family games.
my mom ran an ultimate Monty Hall sort of game.... so i ended up with +5 Vorpal Rocket Breasts of Returning when i was 14 (she was protesting having to buy me all new bras AGAIN).
she was trying very hard to be Christian at the time (1990, give or take) and she was given the Chick Track, because we all played D&D.
her first question was "why didn't that girl just roll up a new character?"
her second was "why don't you kids learn how to do this? you could mind control your father to pay more child support"

if i COULD have learned that spell, i would have had a MUCH cooler prom dress...
sockmonkeyhere
Apr. 4th, 2009 05:25 am (UTC)
*dies laughing*

Oh, Chick Publications, never change. The only thing creepier than you are the Spire Christian Archie comics. Gawdammit, I didn't spend my collection plate money allowance to see Big Ethel quote the New Testament, I spent it to look for stories where Betty and Reggie made out.
setdragonfriend
Apr. 4th, 2009 10:47 am (UTC)
Oh my god! That's what's wrong with my life! I actually own an Advanced Dungeons & Dragons manual!

(Actually, I own a copy of The Satanic Bible, too.)

Gee, if I burn all that right now and get on my knees and worship Jesus, you mean my whole life will turn around? Golly, it's all so EASY! One lobotomy coming up! *grabs matches and coathanger to surgically remove my own brain*
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( 30 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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