?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Yes, that means everyone is gone for their vacation and Mama's all by herself living it up.

So I'm watching on Bravo the astounding train wreck that is The Really Awful Housewives of Nouveau Riche-land, boggling over the money wasted on absolute crap, right? And there's a commercial for the GREATEST SHOW MAYBE EVER.

thebratqueen?? PAY ATTENTION: NYC PREP. It's like Gossip Girl, but REAL. Er. Realer.

Boarding school fixation? Check. People who have no clue as to what life is? Check. Sleaze and Intrigue? Check. They throw Vincent Kartheiser look-alikes in there and I'll claim it to be the greatest show ever put on celluloid. (Esp. if one of the boys also looks like Peter from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I'm just saying.) STUPID RICH KIDS WHO THINK THAT WHAT LABELS YOU WEAR IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER. *cough* Meanwhile, back in Mombai... Little Hadji climbs out of a mudhole to try and find food for his dying three-year old sister. WHO CARES, ALEXIS WORE LAST SEASON'S BALL GOWN TO DINNER, WHAT.

In conclusion, if I could get a job where I watched that stuff, made jokes publicly, and drank booze, that would be the best job ever. In a nutshell, I'm saying I want to be a lazy drag queen. :D

Comments

( 44 comments — Leave a comment )
ateenwriter
Jun. 12th, 2009 01:37 am (UTC)
lmao
I vote for more drunk posts
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 01:57 am (UTC)
I WILL DO MY BEST. *salutes*
lynnenne
Jun. 12th, 2009 01:50 am (UTC)
In conclusion, if I could get a job where I watched that stuff, made jokes publicly, and drank booze, that would be the best job ever.

I believe this job is called "TV Critic". YOU WOULD BE PERFECT.

I want a bottle of Bordeaux, now, too. *slurps*
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 01:57 am (UTC)
HOOK ME UP. I spent the afternoon looking for jobs with my qualifications locally and they all seemed to involve getting people coffee and/or knowing how to use a chainsaw. Ahahaha.

When you come see me I will bring you wine! We will go to the awesome wine shop close by your hotel and get you a bottle or two (whatever your limit is) of fabulousness!!
lynnenne
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
WHEEEEE! I think I'm allowed to take 40 ounces on the plane home, so we'll LOAD UP THE SUITCASE.
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:01 am (UTC)
40 oz? That's the booze of gangstas! If you buy a 40 oz of mad dog and take it home, I'll wear my pants sagging, I'M JUST SAYING.
lynnenne
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:05 am (UTC)
Just checked the customs web site: I'm allowed two bottles of wine. So we'll buy the good stuff!
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:06 am (UTC)
SWEEEEEEEET. This little place in the middle of nowhere has a FABULOUS world selection. WE WILL SHOP.
lynnenne
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:10 am (UTC)
I cannot wait! <333
fitofpique
Jun. 12th, 2009 01:58 am (UTC)
OH GOD I MUST HAVE THIS SHOW IN MY LIFE IMMEDIATELY.

*CLINKS WINEGLASSES WITH YOU*
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
WHICH ONE THEY ARE ALL SO HORRIBLY AWFULLY WONDERFUL!!!

Pique, I'm a bit toasty. You know what that means... *climbs into laps* Inappropriate hour is nigh!
fitofpique
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:03 am (UTC)
NYC PREP

GIVE IT TO ME. ALSO A POPSICLE.

I like you toasty!

*groh-oh-oh-opes*
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:06 am (UTC)
I mean... prep school in Manhattan with all the attitude and none of the life skills!!!! YES. And pretty, damaged boys that ultimately seek each other out for comfort *fist gnaw*

I like me toasty, too! I AM AWESOME, WHY AM I ALONE WITH ALL OF THIS AWESOME TO SHARE?! *unbuttons one more and looks coy*
bitchygrrl
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:01 am (UTC)
OMG I need to see that show now. Also you would be perfect for TWOP and one of their reviewers did leave recently, I'm just saying.
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:04 am (UTC)
If they pay, and I can work from home, SIGN ME UP. <-- desperately seeking susan seeking employment

There's a guy named Flip that writes for.... TVGasm, and he's SO FREAKING funny. I want a job like that. help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope!
bitchygrrl
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:06 am (UTC)
I know BRAVO purchased them, last year so they should pay. Other than that the only other job I can get you is phone sex *lol*
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:08 am (UTC)
I WOULD BE SO GOOD AT PHONE SEX I HAVE A HIGH-PITCHED VOICE, BRING IT.

Or you know... the writing/legit gig. WHATEVER, MAMA NEEDS TO GET BABY NEW SHOES.
bitchygrrl
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:11 am (UTC)
Hey don't joke, I'm an independent pso now, but I'm actually strarting my own co. I do no a few places that would probably hire you though. Umm TWOP does have a site link about how to get on with them I think.
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:13 am (UTC)
I DON'T JOKE ABOUT SEX. Even when I show up in clown shoes and grease paint.

They do, do they? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......
bitchygrrl
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:17 am (UTC)
There's a fetish for that I'm sure probably among ballooners.
dovil
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:06 am (UTC)
HEY YOU! I read the book - and lo, it was funny!

I will join you in your fantasy job!
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:08 am (UTC)
Wait, what book? AM I THAT DRUNK? It's not possible, although I have a low tolerance for booze lately as I've been very good and exercising. DAMMIT.

If I get that fantasy job, clearly I will have it in my contract to hire you, too. THAT'S HOW I ROLL.
dovil
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:13 am (UTC)
Well it has been 24 hours since we talked about it, so I'm not surprised that the wine zapped those brain cells first. Ironically enough: Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher.

I like the way you roll! I can make you coffee and call you Mam and hire you hookers and babysitters in equal measure. Plus I can type 75 words per minute so with dictation your drunken posts can happen that much faster!
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
THE BOOK. Jesus, keep up, me. Oh man, isn't it hilarious?! I'm reading two other of her books right now, and while I love them, I think the wit in Wishful Drinking is the most like you and me at a bar. Ahahahaha.

I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB. Even though it's against the Torah. Hey-O!
thebratqueen
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:10 am (UTC)
INORITE???? And RHoNJ is awesome. I cannot WAIT for next week and Teresa throwing the table.
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:12 am (UTC)
WHAT THE HELL IS THE UNIVERSE DOING TO ME!?!?!?!? It's like all my secret wishes are coming true...

*wishes for a three way with me, a billion dollars, and Jack Davenport's voice/Johnny Depp*

Oh my GOD the table!! "YER A HOO-AH!" *incoherent dolphin noises*
thebratqueen
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:16 am (UTC)
I was having lunch with a coworker today and I was all "Did you see this week's RHoNJ?" and she was all "No. PLEASE TELL ME I DID NOT MISS THE EPISODE WHERE TERESA FLIPS A TABLE."

True story.
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
How do I have that level of awesome co-worker, in bullet points, pls.
thebratqueen
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:20 am (UTC)
Come work with me at Primatech, naturally.
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:26 am (UTC)
Why can't they be HERE, though? *kicks all the maps about* Stupid earth being too huge...
thebratqueen
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:28 am (UTC)
We need teleporters.

And I do mean us specifically. I don't trust the ex Miss California with this kind of power.
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:33 am (UTC)
We need to make sure the fly strips are on the OUTSIDE, though.
entrenous88
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:39 am (UTC)
The shows about NYC rich kids are just not for me, because just way too much of that while I lived there, way too many people I know who came from that background.

But hey, I'm totally taken by some show in which southern moms put their seven year olds in Little Miss Pageants and obsess over their Wow Wear, so we all have our thing!

Enjoy your fancy schmancy wine and free time!
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:44 am (UTC)
But but but.... I like to think of you associating with the rich INTELLECTUAL kids, knowing you as I do, because of your brain meat, and the people on these shows are all about labels and stupidity. In a nutshell, I invision your life as running with mini-Prousts. :D

OH MY GOD, the pageant shows!!! Aren't those horrible and shocking and addictive? They put FAKE TEETH on six year olds. OH MY GOODNESS. It's crazy!!
entrenous88
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:52 am (UTC)
You can't live in the city, be around anyone attached to that lifestyle and completely avoid the craven ones! They're all over.

They. are. FASCINATING! Recently the weirdest part seems to be the huge polarity of the families: either poor as poor can be, or filthy rich. I think the middle class groups seem to avoid those contests to some extent. Rightfully so as it is insane to spend two thousand dollars on evening wear for a seven year old while the trailer park is falling down around the parents for the poorer families, or for the wealthier ones stuffing hundreds of thousands of dollars into the fists of "coaches" that could be put to their kids' educations. But yeah, hard to look away -- so, so foreign to me that it's riveting.
moosesal
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:46 am (UTC)
I cannot wait for NYC Prep. I kept seeing the ads during Make Me A Supermodel. *blush* It's the Gossip Girl/reality show mix that is just totally irresistible to me.

I've totally outed myself as shallow, haven't I? Oh well.
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 02:51 am (UTC)
I'm drunk, blogging about the crappiest shows ever, and you're worried about YOU sounding shallow? AHAHAHAHAHA.

ILU, SAL. We'll totally email and giggle over the Prep school show, promise.
minstrel666
Jun. 12th, 2009 06:31 am (UTC)
"In conclusion, if I could get a job where I watched that stuff, made jokes publicly, and drank booze, that would be the best job ever."

Film it on a camcorder, send it over to the guys at thatguywithttheglasses.com and rake in that sweet, sweet Internet money.
maybe1ce
Jun. 12th, 2009 04:05 pm (UTC)
"In a nutshell, I'm saying I want to be a lazy drag queen. "



Don't we all?
ruthless1
Jun. 12th, 2009 04:21 pm (UTC)
Seriously - I think Comcast has jobs like the one you are wanting. I knew someone who was paid to watch tv forty hours a week - he had to make sure all the shows went live and played correctly for a JOB!!!!! jeebus.
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 08:04 pm (UTC)
HOW DO I GET THAT JOB?? Oh man, we live in the land of milk and honey...
ruthless1
Jun. 12th, 2009 08:05 pm (UTC)
Plus they got time in their work day to go work out since they had to sit and watch tv for so long! It was a crazy job that this student had. He was making like 10k a year MORE THAN ME! feh I say. Feh!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jun. 12th, 2009 08:04 pm (UTC)
Anne, it's SHOCKING, these people. I'm completely hooked on it, because it's SO BIZARRE. It's so foreign to how I live and think, it's like watching something on National Goegraphic.

Mmmm, dumb boys. Hahahahaha.
( 44 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      
Powered by LiveJournal.com