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When you get to the skydiving place, they weigh you. The tandem weight limit is 210 for the new jumper, so they want to make sure you + your tandem master isn't over the total limit. I hop on the scale and call my weight out to the gal writing my info down, because I am not self conscious. Hey, I've been busting my butt, right? So with clothes and heavy shoes I was at 135. No big.

Another girl came in to get weighed, and she had that "I'm being a daredevil for my boyfriend so he'll ask me to marry him" vibe about her. Now, I'm going to be bitchy, but I feel that I have the right (you will, too, I believe.) She's shorter than me, petite, but in that soft, no muscle tone kind of way. Flat chested. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just an observation I make. (Triangle legs with no definition.) I jokingly cover my eyes and back away, because let's face it: we girls don't like to advertise our weight.

She laughs a bit, then wags her finger at me and says, "Uh oh, you left your weight up here! Now I know that you're 135!"

The hell? Good thing I'm not conscientious about that. Then she says smugly, "I'm only 132. Ha."

I almost ALMOST said, "Well, boobs and muscle weigh more than little boy chests and flab. Also, you're two inches shorter than me, so..."

But I didn't, because I'm a fu*&ing lady. I mean, honestly. Who does that? And now, I'm going to go eat my delicious lunch after burning 760 calories in my workout. And then I'm booking jump #2 for the weekend after next. THAT IS HOW I ROLL.

[Off topic, I got an iPhone for my birthday, and guys, I'm so phone stupid it's not even funny. I wanted to trade in my blackjack for a Jitterbug. LOL. But I LOOOOVE it. Now I need apps! Isn't there one for Kindle? I got a facebook one, one for LJ, and... what else do I want? Teach me, oh wise, hip flist.]


( 59 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 11th, 2009 06:10 pm (UTC)
You are a much calmer head than I. I would have said, "Bitch, when you've pushed out two kids, then we'll compare."

But that's me. And yay for technology!!! I can't help you there though as I'm madly in love with my Blackberry. *licks it* But I know people who LOVE their iPhones. (and they might even just LOVE their iphones if you know what I mean)
Aug. 11th, 2009 06:18 pm (UTC)

Make that 3 kids!! I don't get some people.
Aug. 11th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
I went skydiving for the first time in June. I fucking LOVED it! Wish it wasn't so expensive though.

You are much more restrained than I ever could be. Though if life and chick flicks have taught me anything, he'll probably cheat on her for someone who weighs about 135 with much bigger boobs anyway.
Aug. 11th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC)
HA! Agreed.
And then I would laff and laff at her, because I'm mean.
... - stoney321 - Aug. 11th, 2009 09:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 11th, 2009 06:15 pm (UTC)

Now that's just rude. *shakes head* Good thing you're a lady. I might have been rude right back.
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:45 pm (UTC)
TOTALLY rude. And ridiculous. 3 pounds? And I'm taller than her with muscles? Dummy.

I think I was still shocked that she was saying what she was saying. I always expect people to be nice like I am, I still get shocked when they're not.
Aug. 11th, 2009 06:18 pm (UTC)
Get the one for Kindle and you'll be able to be connected AND entertained. Anywhere. Anytime. I've read 75 books on mine and don't have to find shelf space for any of them! Muwahahahahahahaha!

I love my iPhone SO MUCH. I mean. SO. MUCH. ::waves arms for emphasis::

Also? That bitch. ::smacks her for you::
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC)
I just dl'd the Kindle one, so now I need to sync it up with my iPhone. WHEE!
... - beadattitude - Aug. 11th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 11th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC)
OMG. I would have hit her. You're a better person than me. ;)

Way to drink the apple flavored Kool-Aid!!!!!!

Apps you must have:
LIGHTSABER (endless fun there)
Amazon has a Kindle app that is amazing
Shazam lets you know what song your listening to
Games: Sonic the Hedgehog, Flight Control, and Stick Wars are what I'm addicted to at the moment
Zippo Lighter and Flashlight
BBC Reader for news

Edited at 2009-08-11 06:43 pm (UTC)
Aug. 11th, 2009 07:03 pm (UTC)
... - risingtofall - Aug. 11th, 2009 08:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Aug. 11th, 2009 09:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:48 pm (UTC)
My response when people try to argue is to immediately say, "You're right." It's fun to watch them deflate. :D
Aug. 11th, 2009 06:52 pm (UTC)
She laughs a bit, then wags her finger at me ...

and you didn't snap her neck?

I'm very proud of you. Because I would've.

What a total bitch. And yay! Second jump! Whoooooooooooot!

Aug. 11th, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
The finger wag is what's sticking in my craw. All right, Nellie Olson, what the frak??
Aug. 11th, 2009 06:59 pm (UTC)
You + skydiving = awesome.

If she's insecure enough about her weight that she has to brag about being 3lbs under Random Fellow Customer, then I'd just feel sorry for her.

The iPhone is awesome. You need PhoneSaber. :) And, well, I'm not really that into apps, but I do like WeatherBug better than Apple's Weather.
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
YAY!! It's totally awesome.

And seriously - talk about self esteem issues!

PhoneSaber, check. Oooh, something better than the Weather app that came with it, YES. Thanks for that!
Aug. 11th, 2009 07:03 pm (UTC)
It's not how much you weigh but how you wear it, innit?
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
Preach on, Preacher! True, true!
Aug. 11th, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
I have apps for all of the major news sources (NYTimes, WSJ, HuffPost, MSNBC, etc). I also have Shazam, which is a free application that "listens" to music on the radio and then tells you who sings it. I also love epicurious's application (also free--all my apps are). And, I like urban spoon, and flickster, which finds movie theaters near where your phone is located and movie times (also has release dates for movies and dvds, etc.).

Aug. 11th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)
Oooh, someone else was telling me about Shazam, too. That's a must have. FLIXSTER! Thanks for those!
Aug. 11th, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
What a bitch! Who cares how much she weighs? She's completely insignificant.
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:51 pm (UTC)
She's obviously insecure. I remember being like that (insecure, not a bitch) So glad I'm happy with myself.
Aug. 11th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)
Hee, I just got an iPhone as well!! If you like brain teaser games, there's a Brain Challenge app both in free and paid versions, and I think it's worth the 5.99. Twitter has a few apps, I'm using Twitterfone (free) and love it. New York Times has a free app. Google Earth is pretty awesome, I just downloaded that.

Oh, and if you already have songs on your computer, and want a pretty easy way of making/finding ringtones: http://audiko.net/ is pretty awesome. :D
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:53 pm (UTC)
OOOOOOOOH BRAIN TEASER APPS. Yes, please! I'm not a Twitter person, though. I just don't have that much to communicate, unless I can be long winded, lol. Google Earth, I forgot that one, thank you!!
Aug. 11th, 2009 07:12 pm (UTC)
The FUCK? That's hella rude! I am totally proud of you for weighing 135 (and you're not a short woman, either, are you?), that is amazing. Your bod is smokin'. You could weigh 150 and I'd still be impressed.
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)
Isn't that breath taking? I kinda stood in one spot for a minute, rooted there by the audacity of it. And I dunno, is 5' 6" tall? Pretty average, I thought, but I'm not unhappy with how I look at all, so she had the wrong girl in her sights. :D

Aug. 11th, 2009 08:13 pm (UTC)
Was she 12? Because that seriously sounds pre-teen.

You should be proud of your ladieness.
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
How redonk of her, huh? (And because I know you'll laugh with me, she was shorter than me, had NO muscle tone at all. She had those tube legs that are the same from the top all the way down. Um, excuse me while I randomly flex my calves...) Hee.
Aug. 11th, 2009 08:35 pm (UTC)
Uh... Well, fun for you, at least I got boobs. :-P
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:56 pm (UTC)

huh? This wasn't directed at you, but to some woman that tried to make me feel bad about my weight. Which I don't, regardless of what the scale says.
... - kseenaa - Aug. 12th, 2009 01:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 11th, 2009 08:49 pm (UTC)
hahaha thats awesome.

I'm so addicted to my iphone! I'm sure you've got some good suggestions but I wrote this comment before I looked at your comments so there might be some repeats of iphone apps.

Loopt is fun if you have a lot of friends that use iphones.

Shazam is awesome to have when you hear a song on the radio and don't know what the name of it is or who it is by.

I sleep using 'White Noise' App. which plays soothing sounds.

iscopes for my daily horoscope

Google Earth because it's free and I just like it.

Flixster for movie times, locations and trailers near you.

Tipulator for figuring out the tip when your with a bunch of people

Flex photolab for editing pics you take on the iphone

AAA Discounts if your a AAA member

Howcast - shows you videos on how to do...pretty much anything

MapsBuddy is good, it shows you things that are near you. Recently I was lost in the country and my gas tank was on E and using Mapsbuddy I found gas stations and then the closest place to get an iced coffee.
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC)
Pfft, repeats only mean extra stars! It seems like Shazam, Google Earth and Flixster are must haves. I'm fixing that right now. I love the idea of the maps buddy app, too - that would DEFINITELY come in handy!
Aug. 11th, 2009 08:56 pm (UTC)
omg what a BITCH
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:57 pm (UTC)
It's just laughable. And sad for her that she needs to (try to) put someone else down to reassure herself. Whatev, she picked the wrong girl to try that on!
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC)
It was good you didn't hit her. Or, you know, challenge her to find out how many pushups she can do in a minute. Because she'd never match you.

Also -- I found this book the other day and wondered if you'd read it yet -- Starting Strength. My trainer *swears* by this book, says the author was very influential for him.
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA, I should have challenged her to pull ups! And squats! And wide-fly-row push ups! :D

I've never seen/heard of that book before, so thank you! I'll check it out.
Aug. 11th, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
she's seriously claiming superiority with three pounds and less definition?

but a skydiving girlfight might be awesome to watch
Aug. 11th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, I know, right? Just... lamest fight ever.

At least try and make it about hair or a man. LOL. A skydiving fight should look like this!
... - chrryblssmninja - Aug. 11th, 2009 10:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 11th, 2009 10:25 pm (UTC)
You should have thrown up on her. "Well, now I'm thinner, beeyotch!".


Edited at 2009-08-11 10:26 pm (UTC)
Aug. 11th, 2009 11:04 pm (UTC)
Ahahahahaha. No revenge like sticky, smelly, sickening revenge, am I right?

Her smugness was.... bizarre. Also, I have a strong feeling she either a) cried or b) chickened out.
Aug. 11th, 2009 10:53 pm (UTC)


I'll agree with the too shocked to say anything. Guess you must be bloated from not giving a shit. Ba-dum-dum!
Aug. 11th, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I was just baffled. Did this just happen? is someone really saying something that makes them look like this big of an asshole? WOW.
Aug. 11th, 2009 11:41 pm (UTC)
So... how do they adjust for say males who weigh usually 160+? The bigger people get the smaller experienced sky diver? And what exactly is the difference they adjust~~ is it the height jumped from, the size of the parachute... ? I can't believe I'm sitting here fathoming the physics of sky diving, but I'm curious.
Aug. 12th, 2009 12:14 am (UTC)
The weight limit is 210, so they have experienced divers to match up with whomever. The person that's the tandem master doesn't have the wind resistance, so their weight won't press down (or pull up) whomever they're attached to. It's mostly about the harness's weight holding capabilities and the parachute's weight limit.
Aug. 12th, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)
That girl was a bitch. Good thing you're a class act.

I don't believe in cell phones. My kids make fun of me.
Aug. 12th, 2009 12:25 am (UTC)
I haaaaaaated cell phones. I just wanted a Jitterbug for in and out calls for emergency, and nothing else.

And now... Oh my god, I love my iPhone. I'm very anti-Mac (it's a lifestyle/fashion statement, and I'm not in graphic design so why spend three times as much for internet and word processing?) but crap. I get it now.
Aug. 12th, 2009 01:47 am (UTC)
1. Like I give a crap about 3 pounds.
2. Boobies!
Aug. 12th, 2009 02:05 am (UTC)
1. Like *I* give a crap about 3 pounds! :D
2. They make everything better. (My skydive pictures are one back, if you're interested in the crazy. There's also a COOOOOOL link at the bottom of a bunch of people breaking the world's record for relative work (belly fall) with 400 people. Awesome stuff.

Hi, Dave!
... - dlgood - Aug. 12th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 12th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
Exactly! I always expect people to have a civil tongue in their head, and get shocked constantly when they don't. (I'm having extreme difficulty watching the news about the Town Hall meetings, for example. GAH.)

The ease of the internet with it!! I love that. Looking up stuff quickly, replying to emails with convenience... I no longer cringe and remember the days of the two-way pager. :D And now I've dl'd Scrabble, I'm doomed. Hee.
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I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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