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Look. I'm spammy today. But it's Monday, the weather is weird, I'm avoiding housework, and I was linked to a WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE story. And I loved it so much, I made a podcast with me reading the story as a Ukrainian immigrant. With no offense meant to any Ukrainians, I find you to be lovely people. I just wanted to be a little ridiculous, and believe me, my phony accent is completely ridiculous.

Here! Listen to me read you a bed time story!

or...

Here! Read along with me as we share special times together! FUN TIMES FOR MONDAY. (No swear words, just... the story is Bart and Lisa Simpson making a baby while freezing on a mountain. WHAT.)

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Comments

( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
tundrabeast
Sep. 28th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
WHAT AHAHAHAOMG

"So you see... Live ghost on."

no no this is not real.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 06:42 pm (UTC)
IT HAS TO BE A TROLL. Or the universe really loves me, I'm good with either being true.
tundrabeast
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC)
With such a fabulous oppurtunity to do such a fabulous accent, I'd say it's the latter. Where are the other chapters you don't really love us do you :(
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
I figured that I 'd hit my narcissism quote for the day and chose to spare you all. :D (I'm itching to do a podcast of a fic I wrote a while back where it's essentially a Chav-off. British WT for the win!) LOL.
tundrabeast
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:31 pm (UTC)
Hahahahahaha I have exposure to chav I'm interested to see what you do I look forward to it :D
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:36 pm (UTC)
LOLOLOL, that icon!!! I've seen a version of it with bulldozers that appear and scoop her brows off, too. HEEE.

Here's the fic in question, Little Britain's Vicky Pollard meets Catherine Tate's Lauren Cooper with the Little Britain narrator. WHEE, I'm on crack! Lol.
tundrabeast
Sep. 28th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC)
It's brilliant and amazing! Especially once you get into the conversation, perfect always forever <3
caoil
Sep. 28th, 2009 06:57 pm (UTC)
AHHH MY EYES CANNOT UNSEE
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
IT'S BEAUTIFUL!!!

Edited at 2009-09-28 07:02 pm (UTC)
caoil
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:09 pm (UTC)
I don't know where the link was meant to go, but it made lj's webserver sad.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:29 pm (UTC)
But.... I tested it! ARGH, lemme just put the link here. I FAIL.

IT'S THE CAT IN YOUR ICON! *gives you fifty thousand awesome points*
caoil
Sep. 28th, 2009 09:55 pm (UTC)
HA HA!
*high fives you*
poshcat
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! There is no other way to experience that story except to read along with you! That was magnificent. ::wipes eyes::

You probably need to know that to my ears you kept slipping into a Swedish accent, which only improved the story. Bravo!
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
Ukrainian and Swedish are SO SIMILAR, zomg!! Hahahahhaa. I probably should have watched Eastern Promises and oogled Viggo Mortenson refreshed my ear.

Isn't that story WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE??? It's truly a thing a beauty. I hope your dotter doesn't die today. D'oh!

Edited at 2009-09-28 07:07 pm (UTC)
thefuzzyhat
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:08 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I lol'd.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
It is maybe my all time favorite tale of love and heartbreak, now. Suck it, Romeo and Juliet!
julia_here
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:25 pm (UTC)
Wow. New dimensions of suck, indeed.

How do people's brains come up with these things and not immediately decay into a putrid pool of fail?

Julia, the children I knew who told stories like this are all in jail now, I believe

stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)
It just has to be a troll. Or a babelfish to babelfish to online posting. I love it for it's complete suckitude.
brunettepet
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:25 pm (UTC)
Such a beautiful story of love and loss and sacrifice. I need this tattooed around my ankle, so I can remember this heartwarming tale: By the way Maggie is older because Lisa is old enough now to get pregnant and Bart to produce his man sperm! I wish I could somehow convey man sperm being said in a Ukrainian accent in a tattoo...I love author's who give us instructional asides to help their story make sense.

I hope the guy was laughing his ass off as he was typing. I know I was while listening and reading along.

stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 07:29 pm (UTC)
One day you'll be able to embed an mp3 chip in your ankle that will say, "man sperm" in a thick accent and all will be right with the world. ALL WILL FINALLY BE RIGHT.

I laughed so hard reading this, I don't know how I managed to read it aloud and not crack up.
roonilwazlib6
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
LOL OMG. OH. MY. GOD.

I have to show this to... everyone.

Also, is that an "Always Sunny" icon?
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:30 pm (UTC)
YES!! I LOVE IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY. It's one of the best damn shows of all time, imo!!
roonilwazlib6
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:35 pm (UTC)
lol My fiance loves it, and I'm starting to get into it. He showed me the episode when they tried to get the pub registered as a national historic landmark because colonial America is my jam, and the other day "The Nightman Cometh" episode was on and I died.

"You gotta pay the troll toll, to get into this boy's hole..."
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 08:37 pm (UTC)
The nightman cometh is REDONK with the awesome. I was sold on S1 ep 2, where they fight over who would have sluttier chicks, pro or anti-abortion rallies. LOL!!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC)
I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THEY GET WRITTEN. I only know that I see it as the universe gifting me with the meaning of life.

The fact that Google Ads knew you were up to some shenanigans is the best thing I've heard all day, lol!!
zyrya
Sep. 28th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC)
Sweet merciful crap!

Shakespeare lives.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC)
HE DOES! He has been reincarnated into this brilliant man. If you squint, it's iambic pentameter. Also, you need to be drunk.
dioschorium
Sep. 28th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
My stomach hurts now. I don't think I've laughed this hard since I read "Tentacle Moon."

THANK YOU.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 11:03 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE WELCOME. (And as I've not yet heard of Tentacle Moon and now I'm about to enjoy life to the fullest, THANK YOU.)
lynnenne
Sep. 28th, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC)
GASPING! I AM GASPING FROM LAUGHTER!
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2009 11:04 pm (UTC)
Is to be laughed at! His man sperm make babies in cold of winter so there is glorious harvest!
dragonflylady77
Sep. 28th, 2009 11:33 pm (UTC)
Ohmigod!
There was no other way to fully enjoy it than to read along while listening to you reading it.
By FAR the funniest thing I've heard on my birthday today!!

Thank you for being so awesome!!
stoney321
Sep. 29th, 2009 08:55 pm (UTC)
WHEEEE! Glad you laughed, huzzah!
jibacoil
Sep. 29th, 2009 02:43 am (UTC)
A+++++ I LOL'D SO HARD
stoney321
Sep. 29th, 2009 08:55 pm (UTC)
I am adorning myself with gold stickers, YAY CAKES!
bu_doodlebug
Sep. 29th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC)
Oh. My. GAWD!

That was pure genius. I haven't laughed that hard...since I took your "character" headshot this morning.
stoney321
Sep. 30th, 2009 12:01 am (UTC)
Ahahahahahahahaha, YAAAAAAAAY!!
( 38 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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