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  • I have an awesome flist. Just putting that out there. :)
  • I am NOT going to procrastinate today, I'm going to get a huge list of chores done, revisions done (I FINALLY figured out what is wrong with my ms: I'm trying to do both speculative fiction AND narrative. Pick one, doofus!)
  • I am going to do my hardcore yoga today and I AM going to do reverse half-moon, damn it. *cries*
  • I am going to put up the rest of the Halloween decorations today. My house without Halloween stuff is like a rainbow without a pot of gold.
  • I am going to bake bread, and time willing, I am going to make ginger orange rolls. I MEAN, COME ON. That needs to be in my mouth this second.
  • I love Chuck Wendig's blog - he's hilarious. (Warning: he swears a lot, and I - shockingly - have readers that aren't down with the cussin'.) This is my favorite post, mostly because he uses the word "Slugabed." That's now in the daily vernacular. :D
  • I dare you to not cry when you see this old man, lifelong Republican, WW2 vet, 54 year married straight man tell his government that equality for marriage is simple: it's American. "What do you think I voted for at Omaha Beach?"
  • And to lighten the mood, these panels were made to fit perfectly inside those spam envelopes that come with credit card offers, etc. OH MY GOD, SO FUNNY. Some (cartoon) images are unsafe for work (starting with panel 9, so you can check it out up to that point.) I need to print them off and start sending them.
  • These ice cube trays are totally cool. Gin and Titonic. LOL.
  • For all of my hyper-organizers (and wanna be organizers) out there, THIS SITE is just freaking amazing. how to declutter your kitchen, woot! The slide show on the right is neat-o pa-tee-to (patio burrito) <-- local joke. :D

Top Chef went vegetarian last night. I was a little disappointed in how tripped up they all were. Granted, they had spent the night developing recipes for a steakhouse, one of the better ones in the country, they had their meat in hand, then were told nope, two hours, something different, one of you is going home. Kevin continues to be just a total bad ass. Most of the people I've worked with in the film industry here are Vegans, so I've always been fed vegetarian (mostly vegan) foods that are filling. I guess they felt that faux eggs, or whatever, wouldn't look elegant enough on the plate? Hmm. Check out my friend's restaurant, The Spiral Diner. They're consistently fantastic. And guys, I'm a carnivore. Their Sweet Luv'us Veggie Wrap is insanely good. (I'm kind of anti-vegan because of their stance on honey. Beekeeping and honey collecting help bees to thrive, and their populations are declining at an alarming rate. Everything else I'm good with. Not for me, but hey, awesome that they do it happily.)

I love the Voltaggio brothers (mmm) but I think Kevin is more at home in the kitchen. I still want the brothers Volt, Kevin, and Jennifer i the kitchen. Eli, while clearly talented, is just a bit too young and douchey for me. He needs some life experience. Also, Natalie Portman is TINY. Does that mean Daddy Tom is only 5' 5" or something?! Natalie is like... 5'1" or something. Put her in some tall shoes and she was almost eye level. Sorry, guys, I don't do short men. Lol.

Modern Family cracked me the hell up last night. I think every baby should be put in a "Diana Ross from the RC years" wig (I thought that was obvious) and get a portrait taken. I love it.



( 46 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 29th, 2009 01:32 pm (UTC)
I wrote 'stop sending me this shit' and mailed back the cc offers in their envelopes (costs them $). It was hugely effective, but not as funny.
Oct. 29th, 2009 01:36 pm (UTC)
LOL, that's a good way to handle it, too! Aren't those panels hilarious!? I freaking boggled with the awesome for several minutes when my friend sent me the link. Clever & sarcastic people = my favorite.
Oct. 29th, 2009 01:37 pm (UTC)
The "What do you think I voted for at Omaha Beach?" link has a 'malformed URL' but I'd love to see it if you can sort that out.

Have just downloaded the 'How to declutter your kitchen!' for future reference--too big a job to tackle yet. Tiny kitchen, bulging cupboards.
Oct. 29th, 2009 01:40 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you for bringing that to my attention - I'm fixing it right now. I want that one available more than any other.

That site has LOADS of great ideas for small kitchens. Also, check my links on my home LJ for The Kitchen. They did an article today (that led me to that link you mentioned) and there were excellent bullet points for tiny kitchen helpers.
Oct. 29th, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for fixing the YouTube link. What a wonderful man. His experiences during WW2 could have embittered him but they didn't. How marvellous that he feels strongly enough about the issue to make the effort to speak in support, in spite of his age. His family must feel so proud of him.
Oct. 29th, 2009 04:44 pm (UTC)
I love that he was old, visible feeble, but passionate about something to the point of speaking out publicly. Lovely.
Oct. 29th, 2009 02:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the blog! It's fantastic!

Fortunately, I don't need to declutter my kitchen - I don't have one! I use the communal one down the hall and I only have a bowl, a plate, a cup, two spoons, two knives, two forks, a bread knife and a sharp knife. And I'm doing all right.

Except I'd really like a baking tray.
Oct. 29th, 2009 02:25 pm (UTC)
Isn't that a great site?! Reduce and simplify has been my mantra for several weeks, now. That's on my list of things to accomplish today - declutter and rid myself of excess.

I don't know what a baking tray is... Is that what we call a hot plate? Because those are VERY helpful. I had one of those (and a microwave) in college - no kitchen of any kind - and it made my life much happier.
Oct. 29th, 2009 02:48 pm (UTC)
It's a tray with high walls used to bake meat and other things. I want it so I can do all those British roasts. They bake vegetables here and they are delicious.
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Oct. 29th, 2009 02:46 pm (UTC)
Brian is fantastic, but i will say Mike is more daring. And there's something about him that I find incredibly sexy. HEE. (Oh, who am I kidding, Brian is hot, too. Men who cook FTW.)

Which means he's 5"7. Hahahaha. Women - you add 10-15 pounds to what they claim and you knock off 2 inches for men. Generally speaking. :D
Oct. 29th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)
I make no qualms about it and always give the height I have in my national ID card (which doubles as a passport - go Schengen Zone!) - 168 cm. I'ma short mutha'. Fortunately, Anna is shorter.
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Oct. 29th, 2009 03:17 pm (UTC)
I thought I have that gif on my computer, but I can't find it!!

DUDE. Organization. HAPPY MAKING.
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Oct. 29th, 2009 03:51 pm (UTC)
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Oct. 29th, 2009 03:17 pm (UTC)
SON OF A BITCH. No, I've not seen that. She's an actress, comedian and mormon with a memoir!? God damnit, I've been jossed!

And you do way more because you take care of two babies, so that AND scrapbooking is massive! (And haha, you didn't articulate anything about the book, nerd! See: two babies and the perpetual pass you have as a result. *G*)
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:19 pm (UTC)
Err, just realized you might thing I'm mad at you or something. NOT AT ALL. I'm just... damn, she's written a book that I want to publish. Gargh. (Kinda. Her's is all about dating.)
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Oct. 29th, 2009 03:52 pm (UTC)
LOLOLOL. Here's why we are MFEO: I saw that she was a NY Mormon - a CONVERT. And I'm all, BITCH I CAME IN ON HANDCARTS. Hee.

I WILL. Also, you should try a mini-nano, 500 words a day when the babies are napping, or something. Let the house get dirty for a month. :D
Oct. 30th, 2009 01:42 pm (UTC)
I haven't read the book...but, I'm pretty sure she's not a convert, but was raised Mormon and chose to move to NY as a young adult. I've heard her storytelling on This American Life, The Moth, etc, and lots of her tales involve being a morbidly obese gung-ho religious teenager. (If you use iTunes, you can hear her tell one tale on the current edition of the new podcast called "Risk," in which she talks about the very ineffective seduction technique of using a maxi pad to stop your head wound from bleeding all over the object of your affections.)

Oh, and I win the Disgruntle-Olympics. Back in 1995, I wrote two chapters of a young adult book about a kid being told that she would be going to a special secret school because she had magical powers. Then, I started planning my wedding and never went back to it. Doh.
Oct. 29th, 2009 08:30 pm (UTC)
Well, I think the big diff is she's still Mormon. Bless her.
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:11 pm (UTC)
I have no patience with anyone who claims to be a cook -- not even a chef -- who can't adapt to special diets. Any special diet. I hope they do one of my favorite research projects from the early 1990s.

There was an inter-religious conference that I had to do the planning for. No one was vegetarian, but two had to be "heart smart" and one was allergic to mushrooms (but didn't tell me until the day, even though I'd sent out a request for the information months earlier.). Plus of course we had Jews, Muslim, Hindu and 51 varieties of Christian (OK, only 15 people attended, but allow me my hyperbole. *G*).

Fish with scales and a bone baked in honey and lime, boiled potatoes with parsley and dill and spinach with nutmeg were the main course. We started with a vegan mushroom soup (heavenly, and we found a salad for the idiot who didn't tell me about her allergy), and we finished with fresh fruit. There were three toppings for the fruit -- ice cream, chocolate sauce, or sabayon. Everything was prepared in a kosher kitchen, just to be safe.

Sorry didn't mean to take up so much comment space, but seriously, cooks should be used to having to come up with something different quickly. *G*
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC)
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:33 pm (UTC)
So, for Natalie Portman, I'm thinking a tian of sunchokes, carrots, and chestnuts seasoned with nutmeg and thyme with sides of quinoa cooked with seasonal mushroom and toasted pine nuts and either kale or collards quickly stir fried in olive oil.

Still hungry? *G*
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:29 pm (UTC)
Our neighbors put up Hallowe'en lights that rival most families Christmas lights. It's awesome to walk by a 10' spiderweb with a 3' spider every day for a month. No I'm not kidding.

This cracked me the hell up: Sometimes, the words just aren’t working because you’re pointing the gun the wrong way, or you’re holding the lemur incorrectly. Never hold the lemur incorrectly. He’ll bite your fingers. Little fucker. Calling writers thieving raccoons for co-opting this universal state was also hilarious. I'm going to have to start reading his blog.

The ice cubes are so clever! Now I want little floating people ice cubes to look like they're drowning in my drink!

Haven't watched Top Chef yet, we're all about the World Series this time of year *note to self, need more peanuts and beer*
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC)
Wasn't his blog so funny? And smack on, too, I needed to read that about no such thing as writer's block, it's writing laziness. :D

AHAHAHAHA, I didn't think of little people! That's perfect!

Go get ya some peanuts and bring me back some spicy pecans while you're out. I'll set up the beer.
Oct. 29th, 2009 04:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the linkage. :)

Glad you guys like. Always happy to have more readers! (And even better, commenters! Er, commentators. Commentors? Hrm.)

-- c.
Oct. 29th, 2009 05:05 pm (UTC)
Absolutely, I'm ashamed I haven't been reading your blog longer. (And I'm surprised I'm not getting more commentary here about the funny...) Dickbucket is maybe one of my all-time favorite new words.

If you're good with women that have trashy mouths and sharp brains, I'm there. ;)
Oct. 29th, 2009 05:20 pm (UTC)
I will also accept women with trashy brains and sharp mouths. Either are welcome with open arms. :)

-- c.
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Oct. 29th, 2009 03:55 pm (UTC)
Harvesting the honey kills at least a few bees. Sorghum, maple syrup, molasses, or just plain sugar are better for vegans.
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:55 pm (UTC)
Wasn't that video just heartwarming? Made me so happy.

NO THEY DON'T. Because it's from an animal and they're all about the non-explotation of living things. Unless they're unattractive organisms like yeast. Or plants? I... I just don't get it. Mazel tov if you can pull it off, but my mouth was designed with canines for tearing into delicious meats. (On occasion, not every meal or every day.)
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:52 pm (UTC)
I am crying MY EYES OUT over the vid. I just want to give him a big hug. And you, too. ♥
Oct. 29th, 2009 03:56 pm (UTC)
Oct. 29th, 2009 04:22 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad that my beloved Brothers Voltaggio didn't join in the chorus of "Vegetarians are weirdos!" I expected that attitude from Douchey Eli and pretty much everybody else, but not them, and I'm glad I wasn't disappointed.

Tom said on his blog yesterday that when Kevin beats the brothers, it usually comes down to seasoning, not technique. I think that's fascinating. Are they under-seasoning? Over-seasoning? I can believe Michael would do that, but I'm really surprised that Bryan wouldn't have his seasoning exactly right. (Also I love them and I will be sad when this season is over).
Oct. 29th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
I freaking love the Votaggio bros. I love Jen, too, but she's made no bones about loving meat. Esp. tube steak. Lol.

Oooh, that's interesting! You know, they always talk about how kevin's food is so hearty. I wonder if he's making heavier tasting food and the bros food is more light, which wouldn't linger on the palate as long? That's really cool to thing about. And man, I have LOVED this season. Best collection of chefs, yet. I can't imagine how they're going to top it.
Oct. 29th, 2009 04:53 pm (UTC)
It was surprising how many of them were thrown for a loop by having to do a vegetarian main course. I would like to state for the record though that although I don't think Robin should still be there, I was hugely pleased that Mike was sent home ahead of her. He's such a pompous misogynistic ass.

I LOVE Kevin. I want to take a detour to his restaurant when we go to Savannah in Dec. sooooooooo badly.

And the Voltaggio brothers? Make the show with their arguing and tension and one-upping each other. However I tend to want to kick the tattooed brother a lot of the time for his supercilious attitude and poor sportsmanship--could he BE a poorer looser?

Thanks for the organization link...maybe it will help. Maybe.
Oct. 29th, 2009 05:07 pm (UTC)
Mike is a dick head. I don't see him as misogynistic, I just think he really really hates Robin. The girls hated her, too.

But seriously, how great is Kevin!? One of my friends (oatmellow) commented on him being a living version of the Heat Miser. HAHA! SO TRUE. I want to eat his food, too. Mike V is a terrible sourpuss. But I want to gnaw on his arms and that bump on his nose, I won't lie. HEE.
Oct. 29th, 2009 05:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Top Chef - do these people have no vegetarian friends? Never eaten in a vegetarian restaurant? WTF? Vegetarian doesn't mean only vegetables. Natalie Portman isn't even a vegan!

Kevin continues to rock my socks. I think I've wanted to eat every dish he's made so far and he's coming off as a pretty even keeled, nice guy.
Oct. 29th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
Kevin is consistent with his food. I love Jen, her food always looks fabulous, but she's not consistent (lately.) He does seem like a nice guy, I want to eat at his restaurant!
Oct. 29th, 2009 06:48 pm (UTC)
I giggle at your icon. :P

The menu at that restaurant looks scrumptious. Those food pics! *drool*
Oct. 29th, 2009 06:56 pm (UTC)
I knew you'd go nuts for their pics. The food is fan-freaking-tastic. I'm trying to help them build a roof top garden so they can boast organic LOCAL produce. It doesn't get much more local than that!

Seriously, their migas fooled the camera guys. They simply could not believe what they were eating wasn't actual eggs. :)
Oct. 29th, 2009 08:33 pm (UTC)
You are just so awesomesause. Have some honey-glazed ribs, baby. Ooh, here's a napkin, too.

You ain't never heard slugabed? Girl. Tell yer momma I axed how she durrin.
Oct. 29th, 2009 08:38 pm (UTC)
You know how you get away from a group of people and your vocabulary changes? And you forget things? That's where I was.

But tell ya momma I axed how her tomatoes was durrin.
Oct. 29th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC)
That WWII vet was just awesome. :-)
Oct. 29th, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
I did cry! What a wonderful man, what he said is so incredibly true, and important. There are consequences to treating a part of the population badly!

Gah, I'm posting that EVERYWHERE!
Oct. 30th, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC)
Kevin is awesome and I'll be really surprised if he doesn't win the whole thing.
( 46 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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