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Ahahahaha, awesome.

In case y'all need to take me off any reading lists/RSS feeds, whatever, you should know that apparently I'm a "racist cracker." Oh, sweet sweet ironic statement of awesome!

Twilighter, of course. (reasoning: because I don't mock the black vampire in Twilight, I'm a racist. I also didn't mock any Javanese vampires, Eskimo vampires, or CHAV vamps, but that's because I secretly AM a CHAV vamp, innit though?)

Dear Internet: you are full of sparkle wonder and people who spend a lot of time on things they shouldn't. (Ahahaha, irony, wot?)
I love you, Stoney.

(I'm waiting to be told that my icon is racist. Or homophobic. Or makes them look fat. Take your pic. *G*)

Comments

( 71 comments — Leave a comment )
vixielamenta
Dec. 1st, 2009 10:56 pm (UTC)
OH NOES! Someone on the internet can't take a joke! /wrists
stoney321
Dec. 1st, 2009 11:00 pm (UTC)
I think they are the first one, too! On the entire internet, I mean.

Twilight bashing is SRS BZNS, you guys, won't someone think of the Asians? There was a DISTINCT LACK OF MOCKING ASIANS in that post, GOD I am such a racist cracker!!
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cityphonelines
Dec. 1st, 2009 11:06 pm (UTC)
you should know that apparently I'm a "racist cracker."

THIS IS NOT BRAND NEW INFORMATION. You've been oppressing me for YEARS now.
stoney321
Dec. 1st, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC)
THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE TWO *BANG* TWO *BANG* TWO RACES IN ONE!

Double the racism from me to even you out, greedy guts.
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(Deleted comment)
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maybe1ce
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:01 am (UTC)
If it's on the Internet, it must be true!
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:46 am (UTC)
Just like all of those Elvis sightings!
dovil
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:02 am (UTC)
Oh, my little bigoted biscuit, your icon is obviously Anti-English, what with it's reference to Prince Jug-Ear Charles - WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THE OBVIOUS TRUTH?! Which is both sad and hilarious. Why, even downtown Idaho thinks so, from wence I have an Islamic Taiwanese friend.

Also check out that pouty big nosed death mask on that guy, PHWAR!

Also, it's worth noting something that isn't, I use the word heck outing me out as a Mormon, something else irrelavent where I try and destroy your arguement and don't, but then call you a bigoted cracker.

In conclusion: your taste in music sucks.

/I get the boring emo crazies, you always get the fun ones!
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:48 am (UTC)
See, I just hit on a phenomenon that is both a religious and pop culture combo of WIN. I'll create one for you to mock, then you can have fun, too!

...Adam Lambert and Judaism. Adam represents anti-Semitism, GO! (I figure that Muslim/Islam would bring about death threats. IS THAT IN ITSELF RACIST? I can't tell anymore!!)
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almlore
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:19 am (UTC)
That was beautiful. I've been called a cracker once. I laughed so hard that I think I made the guy who said it just confused.

Here's a weird name for your collection. A friend of mine had a kid in her class called /she-THEED/. It was spelled S-H-I-T-H-E-A-D.
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:49 am (UTC)
NO. FUCKING. WAY.

I went to school with a "Shuh-theed" almost 20 years ago! Spelled the same way! IT HAS TO BE HER DAUGHTER/SON.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:49 am (UTC)
I stopped replying to those a loooooong time ago. Every now and then I have to, though. Like this particular comment. :D
tabaqui
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:30 am (UTC)
*snickers madly*
Whoo hoo!

And....are they saying that...your ex-Mormonism isn't the right kind or something? OR that you are a stupid ex-Mormon who never really understood your own faith?

*is confuzzled*
*and amused*
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:50 am (UTC)
I REALLY don't know his point, but dammit, HE BELIEVES IN IT, so good for him! Or something. LOL!
slasheuse
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)
How sparklefabulous would a chav vampire even be though?

IMAGINE CATHERINE TATE'S LAUREN AS BELLA

TELL ME IT DOESN'T IMPROVE YOUR DAY LIFE
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 12:52 am (UTC)
I NOW NEED TO REWRITE TWILIGHT WITH LAUREN AS BELLA. AND DA ALI G AS EDWARD.

IT IS TOO PERFECT OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD!

Da Ali G is all "Naw, I'm perfect, wot? Look at me shimmer! That is well fit." And Lauren would go, "I ain't bovvered."

AND THEN VICKY COMES IN AND IS ALL "Yar but, no, but, yar, but, no, but, 'im's WELL FIT!"
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semby
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:21 am (UTC)
I think what confuses me the most is the winky smiley face after the cracker insult. What does it MEAN? "You're a cracker (teehee)! You're a cracker (but you're still cool with me)!" Kind of like those people who think any sentence can end in lol ("my grandpa just died lol"). Oh, trolls...
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:22 am (UTC)
I don't think he's cool with me AT ALL. I take it as "Haha, you're a cracker. *wink because I see through your LIES, your insidious non-understanding of Mormonism and yoru hatred of black vampire LIES*

Hahahahaha. Okay, dude. Lol. <-- hee.
jssangel
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:24 am (UTC)
I just stumbled across your journal in a twilight link fest, and went on to read your instructions for brining a turkey. Good stuff! I therefore friend you!
jssangel
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:25 am (UTC)
oh man - I just realized that I was messing with my userpic and set it to be my nursing icon - which is a little intimate for new friends. Sorry about my boob.
(Deleted comment)
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wickedsin
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:39 am (UTC)
to say that I only read your LJ for the comments would be a lie, we all know I like to look at the sparkly links too, but your comment streams seriously have me nearly snorting Dr. Pepper out of my nose.

which is dead sexy, let me assure you
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:53 am (UTC)
Mmmm, I'm a Pepper! Except that really stings. :D
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:54 am (UTC)
Um... clearly weird names are universal, I was addressing a SPECIFIC TYPE of bad name. But...

why am I defending myself to that dimwit? LOL.
ethrosdemon
Dec. 2nd, 2009 02:38 am (UTC)
Did no one tell him that blacks can't go to Mormon heaven?
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 02:42 am (UTC)
WELL HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT MORMONISM THAN ME, SO I'VE BEEN WRONG ALL OF THESE YEARS WITH ALL OF THIS EVIDENCE IN FRONT OF ME.

Oh man, his comment is so fully of smug douchebaggery wrongness, I want to roll it in sugar and eat it!
bienegold
Dec. 2nd, 2009 03:24 am (UTC)
Is it bad that I'm hung up on the name thing? Girls have been co-opting guy names for years.
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, this guy is making no sense in his rage and fake derisive laughter, just ignore it. I mean, the guy thinks I'm racist because I'm NOT MAKING FUN OF A BLACK VAMPIRE. Uh...
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:42 pm (UTC)
But let's face it: I *am* a leading Mormon authority because I'm the only one that will admit to the weird shit they believe. :D
cordelianne
Dec. 2nd, 2009 03:54 am (UTC)
heeee! I boggle, I boggle. Although this totally amused me and cheered me up after a crappy day. Oh twilight fans, you convince me more and more to never read the books! O_o
arcana_j
Dec. 2nd, 2009 06:12 am (UTC)
Aw, man! It's like Christmas has come early! You get the bestest trolls ever.
underthethrow
Dec. 2nd, 2009 06:27 am (UTC)
Omg how retarded. There is nothing to mock. For christ's sweet sake.
geminai5
Dec. 2nd, 2009 07:11 am (UTC)
I can only imagine that the person thought they were being funny with the "racist cracker ;)" comment, hoping to ape your style/voice, and failing. Royally.

As for you "ignoring" Anne Rice, et al., and their contributions to vampire lore, since SMeyers ignored them too, having admitted to never having read Dracula or watching/reading any horror movies/novels because they are "creepy", I think it is safe for you to ignore them too in your Twimock.

And since a writer, and I use that word loosely for SMeyers, can only write what she knows, of course the whole series is about a Mormon girl from Arizona who wants her prophet. Duh. :D

Thanks for the original Twimockery, and for sharing the "sweet sweet ironic statement of awesome!". ^_^
chrryblssmninja
Dec. 2nd, 2009 08:36 am (UTC)
needs moar chav vamps
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:27 pm (UTC)
IT WILL HAPPEN, it's too funny to not.

In the meantime, here's a Lauren/Vicky fic (not slash) that I wrote a while back to tide your chav needs over.
toxic_corn
Dec. 2nd, 2009 09:25 am (UTC)
Yeah, okay, now molasses cookie came out my nose. It's the most deliciously disgusting thing that's ever happened to me.

...would LOL again, though.
weaver42
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:39 pm (UTC)
Sexist cracker liberal Pakistani!

You go back to your Canadian Province and eat a big bowl full of intolerance!

...

Or something.

-- c.
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:43 pm (UTC)
I will NOT forget to put some sprinkles of hate and malice on my intolerant flakes, either.

AND THAT WILL BE WHITE MILK, NOT CHOCOLATE, because I'm just that hateful. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
furikku
Dec. 2nd, 2009 03:56 pm (UTC)
ALSO YOUR POST DOES NOT INCLUDE ENOUGH ACADEMIC CITATIONS YOUR TWILIGHT RESEARCH PAPER GETS A D MINUS

Why do people decide they need to TELL some nerd on the internet HERE IS WHY YOU ARE WRONG AND BAD AND THEREFORE I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOU rather than just closing the window and going to lolcats or whatever? Photobucket
stoney321
Dec. 2nd, 2009 04:21 pm (UTC)
THAT IS MY RESPONSE, TOO, ILU.

"Hi person I don't know. I feel SO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED in telling you why you are wrong with this this and this point."
kseenaa
Dec. 2nd, 2009 07:32 pm (UTC)
*smirk* Oh, that is just awesome. X-D
journalfag
Dec. 7th, 2009 04:05 am (UTC)
OK...So yer troll reads Twilight- a "book" that is really quite racist towards Indians- yet has the cojones to call you a racist.


*blink*


stoney321
Dec. 7th, 2009 01:28 pm (UTC)
It's quite delicious. I've just gotten another troll that is calling me a bitter asshole for writing my opinion online. After they took the time to tell me their opinion online.

THE WORLD IS GLORIOUS IN ITS WANKERY.
( 71 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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