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Some might call me an attention whore, I call it practice for my day job (acting/voice over work.) Now. A reminder that I'm Texan, and I know chavs through the beauty that is Vicky Pollard, etc. Not a lot of them in the prairie. Any mistakes with pronunciation are yours. I mean, mine.

It's Twilite, Innit? just under 4MB, mp3. And here is where you can read along, minus the "chime will sound when it's time to turn the page" noises, woe. (And side note, because I have issues, I did a run through, then recorded this, then felt that I was spending way too much time on an internet post, lol.)

In other news, I'm trying to coin phrases for all of the cast of Jersey Shore for tomorrow's podcast because I have a sickness. I can't wait for the douchescrotetards™ to be on my TV screen. I mean no disrespect, I respect them all very much, having said that, they're friggin' retahded. No disrespect. I also found a picture of a dude that looks like someone tried to make David Boreanaz out of chocolate cake then somehow, through the evils of science and technology, brought his creation to life.





WHAT THE EVER LOVING WHAT.

SERIOUSLY. DB as fashioned out of chocolate cake, you see it, right? It's not just me???


That is too much tan, sir. That has moved into Ban de Soulpatch. (For the San Tropez douche.)

Comments

( 31 comments — Leave a comment )
kita0610
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:06 pm (UTC)
Stop it. That is not even real. I don't believe you.

HAVING SAID THAT.

I miss you guys. :(

*clings*
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:10 pm (UTC)
HE IS A CAKE MAN. WHAT THE HELL. He needs to stop it right now. Having said that...

I MISS YOU, TOO. :( I'd hug your bones if you weren't so far away, waaaah.
kita0610
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:10 pm (UTC)
IT IS NOT REAL. NOT REAL. THE SCARY MAN IS NOT REAL.

Poopy.
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:12 pm (UTC)
I WILL HOLD YOU. He is a Poopdouche - that is the WORST LOOKING TAN EVER.
maybe1ce
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:09 pm (UTC)
Is that really a tan? Or, is he the Last Known Human to Find Blackface Acceptable? Who is this man? I am intrigued by him, and his home planet.


Your chav obsession is cracking me up. I was finishing off betaing a Harry Potter fic and now cannot stop imagining Crabbe and Goyle as total Chavs. There. Now you can't, either.
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:11 pm (UTC)
I KNOW RIGHT?!!? When you're garnering comparisons to Al Jolson, you have GONE TOO FAR.

Oh, I've always heard Crabbe and Goyle as chavs, so we're LIKE MINDED.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:11 pm (UTC)
HAHA. It is the rare and elusive actual voice of Stoney! :D
sdwolfpup
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:53 pm (UTC)
Wow, yeah, I thought he was attempting blackface there. This fails on so MANY levels.
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:56 pm (UTC)
I found his picture on a website that talked about tanning in Miami, so....

WOWOWOWOWOWOW.
chantal87
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
This will never get old.
It reminds me of the character Magda in There's something about Mary.
F'ing awesome.

ooh and on totally OT. I am caught up on Dollhouse and I so need to watch the last two episodes again. I have so much love for Topher and Summer Glau. She plays crazy so well. ooh and Faith and Wesley. I so went to a happy place when they were beating the crap out of each other. Joss Whedon has ruined me for everyone else.
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC)
Magda, lol! I love that movie. FRANK AND BEANS!

Oh man, how awesome was the interaction between those two?! I LOVED IT. Her crazy was great, and I loved that she had a "dead arm" and that made her more appealing to Topher, ahahahaha.
ethrosdemon
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC)
Er.

IT'S EYES IT'S EYES ARE EATING MY SOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLL.

I like how the chick next to him is like a half second away from flashing two thumbs up unironically.
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
He seriously looks like rye bread dough. I think his hair is what's creeping me out the most. His eyes match his skin tone, WHAT.

And the glossy, coco-butter sheen'd chin. That's pretty awesome.
minstrel666
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:41 pm (UTC)
"Jersey Shore" is unavailable in Britain because the MTV US streaming site is restricted to the US. TДT

Also, the podcast: brilliant. Very close to the chavs I hear at the council office.
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:54 pm (UTC)
BOOOOOOOOOOO. I don't know of any DL sites, but I would be shocked to find they didn't exist. (Hulu?)

Why fanks! I was nervous posting that, lol. Let's face it: I'm Texan, and I don't run around with a lot of chavs, do I?
minstrel666
Dec. 10th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)
Hulu also doesn't stream in the UK :(. I think the only ways for me to watch JS are illegal (bootlegs/rips/proxies).

And to authenticity: bah, don't worry about it. The only part I found unrealistic was Bella swiping silverware for booze - the choice poison down here in London council housing seems to be cider (it's sold in big 2L bottles that look like Cokes).
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
CIDER. bah, and I knew that one, too!!

You'll just have to go illegal, then. I mean, they aspire to be like Scarface, a little illegality is warranted, I say. :D
pickledprose
Dec. 10th, 2009 07:09 pm (UTC)
THE FUCK? It looks like he's wearing blackface
stoney321
Dec. 10th, 2009 07:12 pm (UTC)
That's what I said! And the thing is, he's NOT doing it in an Al Jolson way, but in a "Look how deep my tan is, I'm hot!" way.

NO. No, sir, no.
pickledprose
Dec. 11th, 2009 01:38 am (UTC)
Haha, yeah you can tell he totally thinks he looks hot! Oh Lawd, some people. I wish someone would be a real friend and just tell him to stop.
tabaqui
Dec. 10th, 2009 08:47 pm (UTC)
What. The fuck.
*recoils*

That's the most revolting thing i think i've ever seen.
may_lyn
Dec. 10th, 2009 10:06 pm (UTC)
keep that boy out of the sun....he'll meeeeeeeeelt!

i know white guys like to act all ghetto, but this is redonculess!
maybe1ce
Dec. 10th, 2009 11:16 pm (UTC)
maybe1ce
Dec. 10th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC)
Also: http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

Sigh. So many men with orange skin and peroxide spikey hair.


What is this world coming to?
(Deleted comment)
killerweasel
Dec. 11th, 2009 02:54 am (UTC)
I saw this and thought of you- http://www.hbo.com/biglove/junipercreek/
stoney321
Dec. 11th, 2009 02:04 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHA. That's funny.
ethrosdemon
Dec. 11th, 2009 05:04 am (UTC)
I'm damned impressed by the podcast. I will link tomorrow when people are awake.
stoney321
Dec. 11th, 2009 02:04 pm (UTC)
Thanks, BB! I seemed to have distracted everyone with chocolate frosting face man.
zyrya
Dec. 11th, 2009 06:08 am (UTC)
Never open a Stoney post when you have hiccups, for lo! the hiccup will intersect with the giggle and there will be much choking and coughing and spluttering.

This is a Halloween costume, yes? He's a chocolate-covered orange?

The dog's thinking "Dude. Pan right, FFS, get me outta this freakshow."
kseenaa
Dec. 13th, 2009 07:21 pm (UTC)
Oh gawd. o.O *is scared off the cake-man*
( 31 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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