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I've gone on and on before about blood atonement, etc., so I'll not revisit that. I did love having all of the "original" Hendrixes all together - all of the blood relatives, that is. We all know that Frank is an ass, Lois is wacko, Bill is self centered, and now we also have concrete canon on Joey also being self-centered. Ben is, too, to some degree, but I imagine growing up in a "normal" environment for the formative years helped him not be so self-focused. Also, his age has a lot to do with it.

Frank The "death bed" confession with Lois about how Roman told him that Bill would grow up and break up the family, and that's why he sent him away just confirmed that he only gives a shit about himself and his "things," and not his deep love for his "wives" as he would like Lois to believe. And she didn't, in true Lois fashion. He flits in and out of his family's lives as he pleases, takes over their money and finances when it suits him, and is King Coercion. He gets people to cow-tow to his whims pretty easily. In the beginning of the show we're supposed to look at him, see his Evil, and then see how kind and loving a father Bill is and think they're totally different. Uh huh.

Lois Her "death bed" confession to Jodene was hilarious. She is in desperate need of sympathy (and boy, no one plays the martyr card quite like Lois) and knows that Frank won't give it to her, and she wants a female to give it to her. And Jodene ain't havin' it. I loved the pissed off exasperation that flashed on Lois' face when she realized that, then decided that it didn't fit in with what she had imagined the response to be, and so carried on with her own agenda. "I'm hugging you and telling myself that you have forgiven ME, because I'm the focus here."

Ben He's freaking out - warranted - but his selfishness is what got him here (just like with all of the others.) He wanted something with Margene, and he got it. He pushed that situation by playing the innocent, when he is far from it. You could tell that he liked the attention Margene gave him, put himself in situations to get more of it, then got really mad at her when she tried to turn the dial back to 1. That's not what he wanted. And so he goes off with his loco Gran knowing it would piss off his parents and got a whole lot more than he bargained for.

Joey He wants revenge. He doesn't care about anything but that red bullseye on Hollis' head, not his wife, his child, their safety or any repercussions that may come from his actions. He murdered Roman for the same reason and with the same lack of concern for what it could mean to his loved ones. He felt it was the right thing to do and roped his crazy wife into the whole ordeal, and now she's alone with her crazy brother (I've got something to say about that whole thing in a minute) trying to hold it together and barely making it.

Bill His wife is dealing with a BOMB THREAT in the casino that she wasn't in support of in the very beginning, and got saddled with the whole job of running it, and he can't focus on anything she needs. Yeah, yeah, he was going to get their son, but Jesus Please Us, they were pulled over by Mexican drug lords who were clearing executing people right there, and he's got it in his head to do something, and he's going to do it. Ana could have a normal life with her new man, but he has to be a part of yet another child's life (and Barb is an accomplice here, too - there's her selfishness to be In Control as First Wife) and it's all about HIS religion and HIS morals etc. Forget that he's going to make Ana miserable, or that Ana wants nothing to do with the lot of them, Bill wants it, and so it is.

They're all the more palatable version of Hollis and his family. Hollis gets what he wants, demands them to obey him, and they all do. He's just way up front with the crazy. And while I adore Grace Zabriskie (Lois) I was pretty disappointed with the final take of her chopping his arm off. It looked pretty cheesy to me, her just raising her arm and lowering it without any effort. You're chopping a man's arm off, for God's sake. And seriously, how awesome is the actress that plays Selma Green, Sandy Martin? That poor tortured soul, so twisted and awful because of the life she's been forced to live. I can imagine that actress is thanking her lucky stars for this role - she's hilarious as Mac's mom on Its' Always Sunny - but this is a character you can sink your teeth into. She's the more tortured, controlled version of Lois, I think. If Lois hadn't run off, she'd be just like Selma.

JJ Theories Okay, he continues to be disgusting and creepy, and that whole thing with him packing up and Wanda freaking out... I'm not quite sure what that's all about, but I have an idea. Nikki goes to see JJ's son about her infertility (and how creepy was that guy with his benevolent smile??) and I think he's "so successful" at getting women pregnant because HE'S impregnating them. If they actually go that route, I'm going to have my mind blown. And Wanda knows this, and she's disgusted by it.

Hmm, we'll see.

I made a "cream biscuit" recipe last night to go with our stew, and holy smokes was it easy and crazy delicious. I'm trying to teach the kids how to make some basics that are straightforward and simple, and this fits the bill. I do have some notes that I've added to the original recipe.

Cream Biscuits

2 C all purpose flour (I used bread flour, made no difference)
2 1/2 tsp sugar
2 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp kosher salt (we used sea salt, and it needs to be reduced to 1/2 tsp in that case - too salty)
1 1/2 C heavy cream (divided use)

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper, preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

In a bowl, mix the dry ingredients together with a whisk. Stir in 1 1/4 C of the cream (leaving 1/4 C) with a spoon until it starts to come together, then dump out onto a well floured surface. Make a well/divot in the center, scrape the shaggy bits that are still in the bowl into the divot along with the remaining 1/4 C of cream and knead briefly to get it all to combine. This is maybe 30 seconds worth of kneading, and make sure you have well-flour hands.

Shape into a rectangle and with a floured rolling pin, roll it to about a 1/2" to 1" thick. (Ours were 1 inch thick, and I actually thought they would benefit from being thinner.) Cut the rectangle down the middle into two long and thin rows, half each of them horizontally, then half those, making 8 biscuits. You could make them smaller, it's just whatever floats your boat.

Transfer the biscuits to your baking sheet and bake for 15 - 18 minutes or until golden. Absolutely fantastic, delicate, fluffy goodness. Have butter and jam ready for when they pop out, I'm just saying.

Next time I make these I'm going to work in some freshly grated Parmesan and some chopped rosemary. Cheddar and chives would be nomtastic, too.

We're going to attempt this pastry cream today. We might just have to eat it with a spoon, who knows. :)

And because it's so damn quotable, and also because I can't stop hollering out "Karate Chop noise!" and "We will fricassee they honkey asses!" I give you the Black Dynamite Quote Engine. I said, can you dig it? Yeah, I can dig it. Stick with me, baby, I'll have you farting through silk. (LOL.)

Use kung fu when he wants, has sex when he please! DYNOMITE!


( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 22nd, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC)
LOL, you're gonna love my nuts! (Beth's catchphrase.)

And seriously, these are slap ya mama good, even if you don't have my mama. And I know you're laughing at that, which is why you're a winner. CREAM BABY. That could be either very violent (no comma) or with a comma, incredibly dirty.
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 22nd, 2010 07:26 pm (UTC)
I loved those biscuits so much, I'm thinking of making some as an afternoon snack for when the kids get here, they're that easy to whip up. Also, I am nearing the expiration date on my container of cream, so...
Feb. 22nd, 2010 07:31 pm (UTC)
Two languages! These sound gorgeous, but are much closer to scones than biscuits, which are what we call cookies. What we use the word "cooky" for is very big, flat, irregularly roundish, slightly soft in the middle and often full of chocolate chips.

All of the above strike me as yummy. Must be tea-time. *g*
Feb. 22nd, 2010 07:37 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm southern (US southern) and we call bread that doesn't have yeast (which would be a roll) a biscuits, but this is a simpler way to make them without butter and/or buttermilk. Also, these are very light and fluffy, not quite as dense as any UK scones I've had.

We would call that a cookie - the chocolate chip recipe? Also, any hand held round sweet is a cookie.

Ive got some Earl Grey Biscuits waiting for my afternoon tea, as well! :D
Feb. 22nd, 2010 07:35 pm (UTC)
I must admit, I prefer buttermilk biscuits, but those do sound rich and good.

Feb. 22nd, 2010 07:37 pm (UTC)
I love buttermilk biscuits, too, but I can promise you that you won't mind these not having them in it. They are ridiculously delicious and light.
Feb. 22nd, 2010 08:08 pm (UTC)
Hey, a baking recipe I have the utensils for!

Will try it out... *checks calendar* on Thursday. :(
Feb. 22nd, 2010 09:27 pm (UTC)
A spoon, a baking sheet and an oven! Doesn't get much easier than this!
Feb. 22nd, 2010 10:27 pm (UTC)
No, there is a simpler one: microwave brownies.

1) A microwave.
2) Everything else can be done by hand and the bowl is only there to not make a mess. :D
Feb. 22nd, 2010 09:52 pm (UTC)
Have I ever mentioned how loathsome I find Bill?!! /grumble

The whole JJ sitch is just getting weirder and weirder. Remember how, when he first showed up, he was threatening Wanda by reminding her that he has "something she loves very much"? Then Adelene is pregnant "because JJ said I am". Uh, really? That's how it works these days? Then Wanda freaking out because JJ "promised to stop" whatever the hell she's referring to.

Something is totally up with the doctor, I agree, but if he *is* impregnating women, he's gotta be either knocking them out cold and raping them, or using the ol' turkey baster. I don't think Adelene would agree to have sex with her "son", no matter how much of a quack she is.

And yes, I love Selma. Poor thing.
Feb. 22nd, 2010 10:07 pm (UTC)
Bill is such a villain - anyone who doesn't see that...

I'm so ready to find out what's going on with JJ/Adele/Wanda, for sure. I just got such a creepy vibe from the doctor when he was smiling at Nikki - something very wrong is going on with them.

I wonder if JJ has a baby that he forced on Wanda? (Blech.)
Feb. 23rd, 2010 12:19 am (UTC)
Do you watch Lost? Remember Ethan, one of the "Others" and, interestingly, a baby doctor of some kind? He and JJ's son give me the same kind of wiggins -- baby faced, totally innocuous, but you just *know* something sinister is swimming beneath the surface.

They better start 'splainin' some of the JJ/Wanda shiznit soon, or I'm going to implode from rage and annoyance.
Feb. 22nd, 2010 10:14 pm (UTC)
Is that recipe from Smitten Kitchen? I added it to my million recipe links recently cause it looked so tasty.
Feb. 22nd, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC)
No, it's from "The Kitchen." (there's a link on my LJ home page's links list) I'm thinking of making Smitten Kitchen's granola tomorrow, though, because I keep looking back at it...
Feb. 23rd, 2010 02:13 am (UTC)
I must now see Black Dynamite!!! And may I offer you Pootie Tang? I LOVE it! Here's a You Tube of some of it's sillyness,...
Feb. 23rd, 2010 01:44 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, I saw Pooty Tang IN THE THEATER. I'm all about the comedy/parody movie!
Feb. 24th, 2010 03:17 am (UTC)
I had Hubby Apple it, and
WE JUST WATCHED BLACK DYNAMITE!!! It was awesome!!! It's really really awful and fabulous and funny and I am going to make my friends watch it too!!!
Feb. 23rd, 2010 02:52 am (UTC)
Totally agreed on how Lois should've shown a little effort. Was the guy's arm attached with velcro? (Actually with the Greens I wouldn't rule that out... ;) )

Also shut it, Margene.

And much love for "PEE. [doorslam]"
Feb. 23rd, 2010 01:44 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I thought it was weird that they went with that edit for Lois. It seemed so... disaffected. As she's machete-ing a man's ARM OFF. Really? Really?!
Feb. 23rd, 2010 04:38 am (UTC)
Mmm, cream biscuits. I have a recipe for those somewhere (wherever I put my Christian Women's Fellowship cookbook from the church I grew up in), although mine uses self-rising flour and therefore has only two ingredients. Must dig it out.

I've also got biscuit recipes with yeast in--angel biscuits do. OTOH, I never make angel biscuits, because if I want to fool around with yeast, I'd be baking bread, thank you very much.
Feb. 23rd, 2010 01:46 pm (UTC)
Oh, I've seen that recipe, with the two ingredients?! I NEVER have self-rising flour on hand, though, and this is only 5 ingredients total, not too shabby!

And I'm right there with you re: yeast. I might as well make bread/rolls.
Feb. 23rd, 2010 02:14 pm (UTC)
I generally have it on hand (it's also a major ingredient in a couple of recipes, like my fruit cobbler, that I don't bake often, but I *do* generally bake on impulse), so it works out for me, but yes, it's not worth keeping on hand for something like this. Either way, they're incredibly easy, and *good*.
Feb. 23rd, 2010 05:26 am (UTC)
I've been wondering about what's behind the JJ-creep factor. I keep looking at the wife who is obviously wearing a wig and thinking munchausen by proxy. I'm wondering if he doped Adalene up with hormones that are making her feel great and with the added benefit of giving her a positive pregnancy test.
Feb. 23rd, 2010 01:47 pm (UTC)
Side note: there are more naturopaths per capita in Utah than anywhere else in the country. They're all about the tinctures and tonics and herbs and such. (The former leader of the UE"B" - P in real life - was a doctor and certified naturopath, he's the one that LeBaron [Hollis Green] killed.)

I say that because maybe there's some of that stuff going on - like you mentioned with the hormones. Verrrrrrrrrry interesting idea you have there! I like it.
Feb. 24th, 2010 05:57 am (UTC)
I wasn't aware of that - thanks for the extra info. When the show started, I did some research because I didn't know much about LDS. One of the books I picked up was Under the Banner of Heaven, so yeah! the real life parallels for the compound and it's major players; it's all there.

...actually, the more I thought about the hormones today, the more twisted it became.

Disclaimer: I'm not a medical person, but I'm an engineer that helps design immunochemistry blood analyzers - Test hormones we canz!

So thinking about what I've picked up in discussions around the office about the various hormones and their effects, I've got a new scenario.

To get a positive result on a pregnancy test, there needs to be hCG in the system. The reason we can have home urine tests for this is because as we say, you're pregnant or you're not. In a normal person, hCG should be zero and if it's up, you're pregnant. (If a guy tests positive for hCG, he's probably got prostate or testicular cancer.)

All of the fertility hormones are *scary* powerful and largely uncontrolled by the FDA - no really, they aren't. This is why it's so easy for atheletes to obtain steroids for abuse. Also, there are tons of high end hair products that have added estrogen or testosterone. And by scary powerful, I mean that they are absorbed through the skin and that if you exposed 6 year olds to some of the stronger products, they will begin to develop their secondary sex characteristics.

Now back to Big Love:

Adalene has hCG in her system - she's either pregnant or been doped with hCG. Laying aside Nicki's issues, even Adalene is surprised that she's pregnant - that it's a miracle.

I poked at false positive hCG results and sure enough, hCG is sometimes contained in fertility drugs. So why would JJ want Adalene pregnant, right now? I don't think he does. I think he's drugging her to hyper-stimulate the ovaries into producing multiple eggs - it's what they do to egg donors. The eggs can be harvested vaginally and used for artificial insemination.

This is like fundamentalist Mormons meet Frankenstein. They want to encourage tons of kids. Some women are bound to be infertile. They start a business where they harvest eggs off their wives and used them to inseminate women who can't get pregnant. I'm ready to lay money on the idea that Nicki is going to end up carrying Adalene's baby - oh, Adalene and JJs for extra ewww.

Infertility treatments can be nasty business on a woman's body - they use large quantities of the scary-powerful sex hormones. I chatted with some lab techs from a fertility clinic when they were in for instrument training one day. The female tech said that if she ever had to go through infertility treatment, she'd go for a hysterectomy once she had her kid for fear of the lasting effects of the drugs. I'm thinking about that wife with the wig. I'm thinking that she's got cancer somewhere in her reproductive system. I'm also thinking she knows all about it and feels like she's serving god by her sacrifice. ...although, it might not be cancer. Maybe just hair loss due to the drugs.

That's my new theory and I'm sticking with it (for not ;-), because in what universe would they pass up the opportunity to get Nicki pregnant with Adalene and JJs baby?

Feb. 24th, 2010 01:23 pm (UTC)
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS THEORY. Not knowing how all of the infertility medicine works, I didn't know to go here, I just thought there was a little "animal husbandry" happening. THIS IS MUCH CREEPIER. AND BETTER.

Dude. Well done on the research.

(And The Mormon Murders is another interesting book, if you're curious. It's not as well written as Krakauer's book, which, not many are, but it's interesting to see how it all works, nonetheless.)
Feb. 25th, 2010 05:28 am (UTC)
I get the basic logic of the situation as you describe it, but I don't see why they are using eggs from older women. I see that they are the ones least likely to get pregnant and most likely to accept using fertility drugs to achieve pregnancy, but older eggs may not produce healthy babies. Adaleen said she thought it wasn't likely; why would she even go to a doctor to begin with? Wouldn't she just accept Heavenly Father's will? And she and JJ hadn't been married that long; would he order her to a reproductive endocrinologist immediately, without waiting to see if she could get pregnant on her own? I guess what I'm asking is: considering that both JJ and Adaleen had had multiple children already, would it be reasonable for both of them to be so eager for babies that they would start a marriage by making an almost immediate appointment for a fertility workup?

Mind you, I'm coming from a position of almost total ignorance of LDS mores; I know they're big on having kids are they so eager that they will accept the risk of less than healthy babies? What's the big thing about having kids, anyway? Not that I pretend to understand any of it, but it seems to me to devalue the actual adults in the relationship.
Feb. 25th, 2010 01:44 pm (UTC)
I'll leave the LDS/FDLS cultural questions to Stony.

You're right about the eggs of older women being potentially damaged. I think that JJ doesn't care and/or doesn't understand that. Remember, the FDLS folks also don't seem concerned about the genetic damage that can happen with incest.

I don't think for a second that Adalene knows what's going on at this point. I think that JJ is giving her "vitamins" or some other homeopathic meds, which she takes because she must obey her husband. Also, see above what Stony said about homeopathy and FDLS. In fact there was a scene for next week where she's upset and angry with JJ. She demands to know what did you do to me?. My bet is that JJ will tell her to visit his brother the ob/gyn and he'll extract the eggs. I think that Adalene will be opposed to all of this at first, but knowing how Adalene believes in "perfect obedience," she'll end up going along with JJ.

Actually, I think this is also where Wanda fits in. I think that Wanda has seen women become very ill from the process and at some point JJ told her he wouldn't do it again just to shut it up. This is why Wanda was so upset when she heard Adalene was pregnant.
Feb. 23rd, 2010 11:54 pm (UTC)
Feeding her some Sabor De Soledad perhaps? ;)
Feb. 24th, 2010 05:12 am (UTC)
Feb. 23rd, 2010 09:29 am (UTC)
yay for yummy food
Feb. 23rd, 2010 01:48 pm (UTC)
SO yummy. And so easy to whip up, even better!
Feb. 23rd, 2010 04:13 pm (UTC)
I waited to read this until today because I didn't get to watch Big Love until last night.

I totally agree with you and the baby doctor being the baby daddy. That was my first thought last night. If they go another route with that story line, I'll be very shocked.

Am I the only one who loves the fact that Margene got married to Ana's boyfriend? OMG I think it's awesome. I've kinda enjoyed her blossoming independence even though she can get on my ever loving nerves sometimes.

Also I'm waiting for Barb and Tommy to hook up. Because wouldn't that just be something?

Bill is the softer version of his father. And by 'softer' I mean more subtle I guess. Because he's just as mean and vindictive, only he pretends he's not.

Now, onto the biscuits...YUM. I'm so gonna try those out.
Feb. 23rd, 2010 04:20 pm (UTC)
Oh my GOD, how much did you think Tommy wanted to throw Barb onb that table and show her how long Pow Wows can be? Ungh.

And you're exactly right about Bill - it's definitely a more subtle (and palatable) version of Frank, hit the nose, you did.

Oh man, those biscuits were ridiculously fluffy. Like, no southern woman would scoff at them, even if they were in the DAR. ;)
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 23rd, 2010 05:44 pm (UTC)
That would be pretty boss. And yes, it would also be the end of the show, but THOSE POOR WOMEN. Lol.
Feb. 23rd, 2010 08:51 pm (UTC)
I never think of them as poor women. I mean, I can feel (slightly) sorry for Barb, because she really did want more kids and then had cancer, so she's officially got a reason for sympathy. Nicki, I suspect she's right when she says she thinks she's damaged. And Margene, she was dragged up by a drunken mom. All three of these women have been damaged somehow, which I believe is why they made the choices they did, but we all have our issues. They're all adults, and the question is what are they going to to about it now? None of them are beaten, starving, begging, drug addicted- they're comfortably off and secure, so now it's time for them all to take a big girl pill and decide what they want to do with their lives. I think Margene has been trying to do that with her home shopping business. Anyway, with their situations, I can't think of them as "poor." (In either the financial or the sympathy sense.)

I was interested to see their expressions last week when Bill showed them the Big House he wants to move into. I felt I could see them thinking: how the heck do we clean that? Because that is a LOT of territory to keep clean to LDS standards, from my impression. Bill's not going to hire household help, I bet. And aren't those standards just another way to keep women around the house and busy? :::she says as she eyes dusty living room:::
Feb. 23rd, 2010 09:10 pm (UTC)
Well, I guess I come from a place where I know the culture that they're born into and they're raised to believe that they only have X# of options in life because they ARE women, and so they pick from the crappy choices they're given. That's what upsets me. Like how Nikki's life is ruined because she's infertile, because that's all she is. Even though she made a comment like, "we're not brood mares here." She still feels that way. That's why they get my sympathy.
Feb. 24th, 2010 12:05 am (UTC)
It's very difficult to get away from the expectations we were raised in, I know. You managed it, though, and though I don't know the details I'm sure it was difficult. So I think they could, and they're adults. But none of them seem to see a problem with their way of life. I mean, Barbara thinks it would be fine if only Bill wouldn't cheat with women he's not married to, and Nicki thinks it'll be fine if she has another baby, and Margene thinks it'll be fine so long as she can keep her business going- I think it'll be fine if they realize they don't need Bill. Wondering how long they can keep the series going and why they brought back the Teenie character, here.
( 40 comments — Leave a comment )


Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

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