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I got an audition call last night for a part so awesome, it might as well be ret-conned into Raising Arizona. THAT AWESOME. (Very small part, one scene, but one of those "Son? You got a panty on your head." kind of scenes.) OH MY GOD, WANT WANT WANT. I just need to hire a videographer to film my audition and then sacrifice a goat. *crosses everything, except Ts, and they know why. Bastards.)

But you came here for the apocalypse talk, let's be honest. There's a "get to know me!" meme going around, and one of the questions is "which is worse, zombie or robot apocalypse" and I'm like "REALLY? THIS IS UP FOR QUESTIONING?" If you answered robots, then you have not watched enough movies.

1. 28 Days Later (I KNOW. THEY AREN'T ZOMBIES. BUT IT WOULD BE THE SAME.) vs. Terminator? One movie has everyone EATING EVERYONE ELSE and the other has the Governor of California stalking a chick with acid washed pants tucked into puffy socks. (Note: T and T2 are some of my all time fave movies, just to be fair.)

2. Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaains! vs. "We used poisonous gasses and we poisoned their asses" although that last one does mean no more yogurt and stairs. STILL. DOES NOT COMPARE.

3. Camping out in a mall with a few douchenozzles (and a secretly pregnant zombie lady that will kill you all) as hordes of hungry zombies surround you looking for a way to eat you vs. "we are in Zion" rave of perfectly beautiful people all of the same age and all are very very sweaty. HOWEVER: you have to endure the monotone of Neo in that last one. DOES NOT COMPARE.

4. Having to off your mum after she JUST MET the love of your life (who has dumped you, let's be honest) while you're leading a group to safety at the Winchester through a zombie horde in hopes of a mythic loaded gun vs. DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME? DOES NOT COMPARE. (The computer didn't launch the nukes, so.... Tic Tac Toe destroyed the threat. THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MINUTE. TIC. TAC. freaking TOE.)

And if you can't figure out which movie is which, I AM NOT GOING TO HELP YOU. That is an education you must reach for on your own, Grasshopper. Robots will kill your computer and car, you can live in the woods or an island, and quite happily. Or you know, in a magnet factory (my first line of defense.) Zombies will EAT your FACE MEAT. Being eaten is far worse than being denied ICanHazCheeseburger or having to play a game of computer chess, I'm just saying.

(And think about my icon: robots will destroy the sign THAT WARNS YOU ABOUT ZOMBIES.)

Comments

( 41 comments — Leave a comment )
moosesal
Mar. 9th, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
My problem with zombies being scarier though is that I don't believe in zombies. But I believe in the future possibility of robots taking over the world. So it's not that zombies wouldn't be worse if they existed, it's just that I don't think that's realistic.
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 03:53 pm (UTC)
YOU HAVE NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION, which means you'll be the first to go, and I will mourn you and pour out some of my 40 oz. on the ground in your memory.

THE VIRUS IS COMING, SAL!! (There are too many hackers and magnets. Robots are easy. Why do you think I carry around this 10 pound magnet in my bag?) LOL.
moosesal
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:13 pm (UTC)
Whatever. I'll just become LDS. Jesus will save me. I know he will, I learned that from reading you.
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:14 pm (UTC)
He will. His followers will enact a telephone tree to make sure that you get "translated" into your spirit person where you can make jello salad and felt board stories about white Indians FOR ETERNITY. <3
moosesal
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:15 pm (UTC)
Whee! My grandparents would be so proud of my white Indian felt board stories. I'm sure they'd pop right over from their own spirit world to join me.
aimeelicious
Mar. 9th, 2010 03:57 pm (UTC)
You used one of my favourite movie quotes EVER! Another prize from Raising Arizona: "You got any of them balloons in funny shapes?" "Not unless round is funny." HAHAHAHA. I might need an icon.

Uh, anyway, good luck with the audition, hope you get it! *winning smile*

Edited at 2010-03-09 03:58 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:04 pm (UTC)
I can pretty much quote that movie from top to bottom, it is my FAVORITE all time comedy, hands down. "Recidivist! You like the sound of that?" "No, sir, that's one bone headed name." "....okay, then."

LOL!! (And thanks!)
roonilwazlib6
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:13 pm (UTC)
I love love LOVE you for referencing Shaun of the Dead. <3
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:15 pm (UTC)
It's truly one of the best zombie movies out there. "HE'S NOT MY FATHER!" "Really, Shaun! Still?"
roonilwazlib6
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:24 pm (UTC)
It's the reason I started watching zombie movies in the first place. And Simon Pegg is just way too cute.
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:27 pm (UTC)
The Dawn of the Dead remake remains my favorite. The clips over the credits are the scariest bits of the movie, too.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:20 pm (UTC)
Powering down noise vs. sKull exploding like a watermelon at a Gallagher concert? IS THERE ANY CONTEST? I'd say not.

(holy bad spelling on my part, WHAT'S UP BRAIN???)

Edited at 2010-03-09 04:24 pm (UTC)
brunettepet
Mar. 9th, 2010 04:57 pm (UTC)
"Night of the Living Dead" was the first movie to give me nightmares. Zombies totally trump robots.

It's a good thing the mister likes cabrito *sacrifices goat on your behalf*
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 05:03 pm (UTC)
THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. Things that can EAT you = infinitely worse than things that can wreck your credit score.

Mmmmm, cabrito. Muchas gracias, Amiga!
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC)
They really are scarier and worse than robots, I mean HONESTLY. No comparison, in my book. Watching movies you love with your kids is so fun! The Boy saw Total Recall a few weeks ago and loved it. \o/

Thank you, me too!
minstrel666
Mar. 9th, 2010 05:26 pm (UTC)
Zombies are way scarier than robots and robots are in fact easier to outsmart (zombie do not think and do not act rationally, so they cannot be confused, while robots are 100% rational, which makes them easy to boggle)... but have you ever read "The Invincible" by Stanislaw Lem (hey! I'm namedropping a Polish author again! Take a sip!)?

In it there's basically a zombie fucking planet made out of the nanorobts that eat all shit. And do not, I repeat, do not get me started on God-turned-Devil-turned-AI from "A Fire Upon The Deep" by Vernor Vinge. You owe it to yourself to read that book (and the entirety of Lem, who predicted the Matrix 20 years before the movie and whom Philip K. Dick thought to be an acronym of the Polish KGB).

(Wow, that's a lot of brackets.)
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 04:13 pm (UTC)
Robots can be hacked! Zombies can too, but it's much more tiring. :D
a_mistletoe
Mar. 9th, 2010 06:29 pm (UTC)
Zombies ftw and then eat it. Robots go round in circles waving their arms going 'Danger Will Robinson'. NO CONTEST. Besides. I think I am partially magnetic so I will repel robots naturally.

stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 04:13 pm (UTC)
I ALWAYS KEEP MAGNETS ON MY PERSON FOR SUCH AN OCCASION. (Not really, but I AM NOW.)
mumsisdaughter
Mar. 9th, 2010 07:01 pm (UTC)
Whilst reading and trying to work out the films you mean, I had an image of Shaun's Mum having a heart to heart with Marvin, the Paranoid Android :)

I agree with you wholeheartedly (that's with extra heart and brains), zombies are scarier than out-of-control robots.
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 04:14 pm (UTC)
Zombies are way worse. WAY WORSE. How can people think otherwise?!?! Lol.
luvxander
Mar. 9th, 2010 08:42 pm (UTC)
But....what if the robots killed the zombies and THEN turned on us. Or, heaven forefend....what if they were zombie robots?
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 04:14 pm (UTC)
Zombie robots would be something, but the robots would become our FRIENDS if they killed the zombies. I mean, tchuh. ;)
luvxander
Mar. 10th, 2010 07:03 pm (UTC)
Not if they were evil and only killed the zombies because of a gang turf war!
lynnenne
Mar. 9th, 2010 09:41 pm (UTC)
Clearly I have not seen enough robot movies. Or enough zombie movies.

I HOPE YOU GET THE PART! *crosses appendages for you*
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 10:17 pm (UTC)
YOU NEED TO REMEDY THIS THEY ARE AWESOME! (And bug/alien movies. Alien/Aliens 2 are the BEST FEMINIST MOVIES EVER. Fer serios.)

No, no, I'm performing! It's a story-slam. FUN! <3 <3 <3
stoney321
Mar. 9th, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC)
DERR, I FORGOT THAT I PUT BOTH THINGS HERE. I r stupid.
semby
Mar. 9th, 2010 10:28 pm (UTC)
Oh, zombies way worse. Way. I think I'd stick it out if there were ever a robot apocalypse, but the first mention of a zombie attack, I'm shooting myself so I don't have to know I'm getting eaten. (Plus, we can always just make robots with power cords of a certain length so they can't chase us, as Dwight Schrute once brilliantly suggested).

Although, your last little mention of your icon made me a little more worried about robots: say there is a robot apocalypse, they destroy the sign that warns you about zombies, and then we never see the post-robot-apocalypse zombie apocalypse coming! Ahhhhh!
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 04:15 pm (UTC)
Robots were defeated by an LED Frisbee in Tron. THEY CAN'T BE THAT DANGEROUS.
a2zmom
Mar. 9th, 2010 11:50 pm (UTC)
Also, there's that whole religious fanatic thing with robots. What's up with that?
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 04:15 pm (UTC)
Wait, what?! I'm off to google because WAIT, WHAT?!
a2zmom
Mar. 10th, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
ha.

a Battlestar Galactica reference.
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 10:17 pm (UTC)
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE AWESOME? ZOMBIE CYLONS.
a2zmom
Mar. 10th, 2010 11:31 pm (UTC)
The one true god wants your braiiiins.
gabzilla
Mar. 10th, 2010 12:00 am (UTC)
Zombie Jesus wants into your heart... and Braiiiiiiins, of course.
I love you.

(wouldn't leaving T's uncrossed make them baslards?)

Hope you get that part! :D
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 04:17 pm (UTC)
Re: Zombie Jesus wants into your heart... and Braiiiiiiins, of course.
Baslard is my new favorite word.
shank_lander
Mar. 10th, 2010 12:57 am (UTC)
Plus, you can get insurance for when the Metal Ones come for you!

And... just thought I'd share, but my Mormon upbringing has left me with a rather quirky, irrational fear of the apocalypse. It’s not the roving bands of lawless, raping, murdering heathens that will take over the Earth but rather the fact that I don’t know how to milk a cow – yes, you heard me, but to clarify, I fear that my reliance on modern technology has left me ignorant of basic survival skills – like baking with raw, fresh ground flour. This fear has gripped me since I was just a wee lassie learning about the apocalypse – and in fact, to this day, almost every time I watch, say, a cooking show that uses even something as minimally processed as olive oil I think “You fail show?! How is this going to help me when I can’t just go down to the store and purchase my EVOO, huh?! What do you think of me? I don't know how to press olives! Show me how to make my own Herb de Provence, why don’t ya! You suck!”

Ahhh, thank you Sunday School Teach for extolling the horrors of the apocalypse to my young, impressionable mind.
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 04:18 pm (UTC)
Robot insurance! They just want to steal medication from the elderly.

See, my LDS upbringing has made me feel like I'm totally ready for the Apocalypse, because let's face it: that's what girl's camp and scouts are for. CLEARLY YOU NEED AN LDS PREPAREDNESS MANUAL, IT TELLS YOU EVERYTHING! (Like how much ammo to buy, how to hide your food storage from pesky neighbors, and that you may have to kill people. NO, REALLY.)
chrryblssmninja
Mar. 10th, 2010 01:13 am (UTC)
YESSS I know all these movies
stoney321
Mar. 10th, 2010 04:18 pm (UTC)
THAT IS BECAUSE YOU RULE.
( 41 comments — Leave a comment )

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