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5 Things + A Bonus Pic

Boy, what a busy weekend. Everyone's at school and work, so I can finally breathe deep, pick my nose, and not have to be in charge for a few hours, WHEW. Here's some stuff making me happy.

1. My strawberry tree came from these plans, and has over 50 strawberry plants (plus 4 thymes, 2 curry plants, and a rue to deter the bunnies) in it. 20 of the plants are bare roots I've planted so I have continual berries to nom.

I had to put it on black plastic and flagstone so the Bermuda didn't invade. The bunnies were going to town on my original strawberry bed, and I'm tired of the nightly bloodshed with my evil black cat, so this was our solution.




NOTE: I would have slanted the laterals more, personally, but since I wasn't wielding the drill, I didn't get that, now did I? But if you make them, angle them more steeply, it'll help the roots in the end, I think. ALSO: I slipped a plastic pot over the center post so there wasn't a ton of wasted space for dirt in the middle. It took 2.5 20 pound bags of soil to fill this with the plants, for the record.




2. The Pugilistic Teacher that was giving us so much grief last week did not reply to me, but there was a board meeting and she is no longer allowed to humiliate students. (I mean, it took a BOARD MEETING? Sheesh.) She also is "out" this week, I'm guessing someone needed a breather? IDK. I also DC. (Don't care.) :) To her credit, she hasn't treated my son worse as our communications deteriorated, as I half expected, so. Four more weeks, four more weeks...

3. In case you ever caught a unicorn and wanted to butcher it for wintertime eatings (who wouldn't, am I right?) here's is a handy butcher chart for your unicorms locations of hopes, dreams, giggles, and superglue.







4. Through the joys of twitter I have discovered a website that cracks me up to no end. TO NO END. It is endless, like a line. (Unlike a segment, which has two ends. Like your mom.) Where did that double-butt mom insult come from? So go here and laugh your head off. Rosa DeLauro is a F*Cking Hipster. LOL. Also, if you followed me on twitter, you would have heard about me watching ladybugs have sex yesterday. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE MISSING.

Other Twitters that make me very happy: Joel McHale (seriously, I would wreck my marriage for him. Lol.) MacGruber! (He's stuck inside a power shed, and gonna blow up, he's MacGruber!) Mindy Kaling, and Aziz Ansari. Will Arnet has a twitter now, but he - like MacGruber - doesn't post too often. You know what would be great? If Keith Olbermann didn't retweet every asshole that attacks him, because he's about to go off my read list, because GOOD HELL. [I can't help it, guys, I think he's sexy. It's the grey hair and glasses combined with smart-assed confidence, I'm a sucker for it.]

5. We have a new ladybug house in the garden as the aphids have been ROTTEN this year, so we also bought ladybugs. Friday night at dusk (so they won't fly away) we released about 200 of them into the garden. Whee! I had a shirt sleeve of ladybugs for a bit - v v tickly. We already have ladybug larvae nomming up the nasties, which is great. (They look like aligators with red jackets. They apparently are the valets of the bug world.)

Here's this hilarious picture of an inter-species slow dance.





See, in my vision, the dog is wearing a Herbst appliance and has that saliva-slurp whisking-inhale thing. "Sshhhhho, yer mom ssssshaysh that yer into musssshhhhhhic? Me, too. Shhhhhhhk."

I like to imagine that the cat's mom told her to dance with the poor fellow, and that's the last time Fuzzy Bootkins lets her mom chaperone a school dance. Also, it's "Say You, Say Me," by Lionel Ritchie and Fuzzy Bootkins' friends are making redonk make-out faces under the basketball net at her.



Last, The Pacific. SIIIIIIIIIIIGH. Who's with me? I am just... at this point I'm just seeing it through, I have to say. (Put spoilers in your subject header if you talk about this, my Kiwi buddies are a little behind the US air dates.) OH AND KASSIE YOU WON. I stumbled on ep 3 of Treme and didn't hate Steve Zahn or John Goodman. So now I have another gee dee show to watch. *head desk*

Comments

( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
roonilwazlib6
Apr. 26th, 2010 02:55 pm (UTC)
Band of Brothers was made of so much more win.
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 02:58 pm (UTC)
It really was. Better execution, but mostly a better screenplay. (The Pacific was written by Ambrose's son - explains a lot?)
roonilwazlib6
Apr. 26th, 2010 03:00 pm (UTC)
AND it had Michael Cudlitz!! <3
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC)
THIS.
gabzilla
Apr. 26th, 2010 02:59 pm (UTC)
Yay for the teacher taking a week off, and for being told to stop humiliating her students. Hopefully everyone can just ride out the last few weeks without incident.

I think it was ThinkGeek that had the canned unicorn meat, complete with sparkles. The picture is... well, it's iridescent meat substance, what more can you say? (other than *HURRRRK* *HORRRK*) :p

Speaking of sparkles, my sister found this, and I thought you might want to have it handy in case of Twihard attack. One! That's one knuckle sandwich! Ah Ah Ah.

Poor slow dancing kitty.. The Lionel Ritchie is just the final humiliation.
gabzilla
Apr. 26th, 2010 03:02 pm (UTC)
Grade A Unicorn Meat
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 03:16 pm (UTC)
Yep, that's where the image came from.

No one should be forced to slow dance to lionel Ritchie, unless it's HELLO! IS IT ME YOU'RE LOOKING FOR? I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES... which is RUDE, Lionel, because you've depicted her as BLIND. He's so insensitive.
lynnenne
Apr. 26th, 2010 03:14 pm (UTC)
You know, I always wanted to ingest the hopes and dreams of a unicorn. But know that I know it's nothing but neck and snout, I say blergh. BLERGH, I say!

Yay for teacher being sent to the corner to think about what she did.

stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 03:17 pm (UTC)
SNOUT AND FEET, Lynne, SNOUT AND FEET. (Although the anus is the stuff of rainbows, as evidenced by the handy chart.)

True fact: goblin arm pits are the stuff of nightmare, but has the piquant taste of almond.
dancetomato
Apr. 26th, 2010 03:17 pm (UTC)
I too have the schwing for Keith.
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC)
HE IS DELICIOUS.
julia_here
Apr. 26th, 2010 04:31 pm (UTC)
I'm always sad to learn that there are still teachers who think they have a right to their own rules and style of pedagogy; the one who took and threw away the topaz-studded cross my Grandmother bought me when I wore it to school the first week back at school after her funeral was fired at the end of the year for all her little ways (including assigning all her home room students five paes of multiplication problems every night, even though we were mostly not in her math class. Contemplate how much that improved my life, given that I was the very H ADHD kid in her class) but my necklace was gone forever, and I do't think the kindergarten teacher ever recovered from nearly being smashed like a bug by the desk, attatched chair, and disrespectful 9-year-old boy who Mrs. O'Neil threw bodily out of her room.

Bad teachers. They cannot be described in simple sentences.

Julia, would that they all were snet to their next lives as aphids in a world full of ladybugs.
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 06:13 pm (UTC)
Oh, what a terrible story. That horrible, horrible woman.
brunettepet
Apr. 26th, 2010 05:11 pm (UTC)
That slow dance has me laughing. Fuzzy Bootkins wants Senor Saliva-slurp to get his frakking paw of her teats!

I hope you had some of this gorgeous weekend weather. Aaah, Spring!
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 05:29 pm (UTC)
Senor Saliva is all with the sneak-kiss and Fuzzy Bootkins is shooting daggers at her former BFF Pussy Flurblebuns - a Siamese, and you know how bitchy they are - who ORIGINALLY told Senor Saliva that she was totes into him and then requested Lionel Ritchie from the DJ and is totally dead to Fuzzy now.

TOTALLY DEAD TO HER.

How gorgeous has it been??? I've been outside just about every minute I can be, including in five minutes from now when my lunch is ready for eatings.
dampersnspoons
Apr. 26th, 2010 06:26 pm (UTC)
Strawberry pyramid of Giza!

Also, my ex-roommate Wells had a first date with a guy years ago who brought three boxes filled with ladybugs and released them on her on a park bench and took photos. He also had coke-bottle lens glasses like that nerd bug guy from Silence of the Lambs, and I know you know what I'm talking about without even having to SAY it. I digress...it was an awesome first date story. Hope you took pictures!
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 06:47 pm (UTC)
It was designed by Evo Shandor, he was also a doctor, did a lot of "unnecessary surgeries" in the 1920s.

Sometimes... leaves and bugs get in thar. (Wrongful death PPPTIIIIIING! Wrongful death.)

It would take a miracle for you to unravel all the references there, BUT I KNOW YOU CAN.
minstrel666
Apr. 26th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
You know the weirdest part? I did butcher a unicorn once. Heck, a couple of them at the same time. I then ordered meatpies made out of them, their leather tanned and turned into armor for my fortress guard.

Okay, it was in the "Dwarf Fortress" video game, but that still counts, right? I mean, navigating that games menus is as hard as actually hunting. ("Press 'A' to activate the dwarf as a combatant. Pull up the military menu using 'm' and station the dwarf near the unicorns. Using the orders menu...").

Also, I relate to Fuzzy. I had to dance with my homeroom teacher in junior high. She wasn't bad, but the faces they were pulling her back. D:< Oh, the awkward.
dovil
Apr. 26th, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC)
Put spoilers in your subject header if you talk about this, my Kiwi buddies are a little behind the US air dates.

Awww, bless you my child!

1. Good thinking with the strawberries.
2. You smote that teacher good. That's a bonus 200 points awarded to you and you get to go up to the next level to fight the new Big Bad.

Joel McHale is alllll mine! Once I get my chloroform and kidnapping plan swinging into action. I too would wreck your marriage in order to get my hands on him.

Your description of the cat/dog apocolypse slow dance is dead on - I personally would rename them Buffy and Spike.
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:24 pm (UTC)
You were exactly who I had in mind, my dear!

YOU MAY NOT SHARE MCHALE WITH ME. I will send you his filthy underclothes, but the rest is all mine. ALL MINE. (Do y'all get Community out there? If not, I WILL AMEND THAT.)
dovil
Apr. 27th, 2010 01:11 am (UTC)
You are a dear, dear LJ person, though I will break your fingers in order to get my grubby hands on McHale - Hey you have Farrell, you can't have all the tall comedians!

I am rubbing my nose in his jock strap and rolling my eyes in ecstacy, right this minute!

And noo, we don't have community yet, but we're bound to do so soon, new season line-up swinging it's way soon, so don't you worry. Save your postage money for more celebrity g-strings.
a2zmom
Apr. 26th, 2010 09:40 pm (UTC)
I had no idea superglue came from dead unicorns. Shows what I know.

Your strawberry tower (or, as I privately call it, an apartment building designed by Frank Gehry) is very nifty. I am expecting delightful recipes when the time comes.

I am so glad to hear that teacher is off licking her wounds somewhere.
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:23 pm (UTC)
Regular glue = regular horses.
Superglue = EXTRAORDINARY horses.
Gorilla glue = sloths, which isn't what you'd think.

I'm very excited about my strawberry tower, and I have to say, he knocked it out in less than a day and had two beers while crafting. So. That means it might fall apart in a week, we'll see. (The Mr.s home brew is shockingly strong.)
affectingly
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:03 pm (UTC)
How could you ever NOT love Steve Zahn? Well, unless you saw Comanche Moon and wept hot, bitter tears as I did. That movie had Steve Zahn AND Karl Urban and it STILL couldn't be saved. I suspect because it was called Comanche Moon and was a prequel to Lonesome Dove. SAD!

The only good thing to come out of that movie is this:
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:22 pm (UTC)
See, here's the thing: I normally LOOOOOOVE Steve Zahn, but something about ep 1 rubbed me so totally the wrong way with him. His character AND Goodman bugged the shit out of me. I didn't even finish the ep. Then I turned it on last night, caught up 20 minutes into ep 3 and went, OH HEY THIS I LIKE.

I like to think that the cowboy you have given me is offering me a raw gem for my raw love.
affectingly
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:31 pm (UTC)
It is a love token toad! Hurry and accept it before it hops away and leaves you forever! ...or something. IDK, honestly, I was just using it as an excuse to spam you with a picture of Karl Urban. It's what I do. WELCOME TO BEING ON MY FLIST!

stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:57 pm (UTC)
I ALWAYS APPROVE OF PICSPAMS. Especially of hilarious men with their pants down carrying toads.

I thought it might have been a toad, but thought, naw, he's a gold prospector, that thar is a chunk o' the future!
futbol16_4
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC)
Why haven't I seen this before!!! It's a love token toad. <3 I would name it Bump. :)
affectingly
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:28 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the only time I'd be persuaded to keep a toad as a pet is if Karl Urban gave it to me.
futbol16_4
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:29 pm (UTC)
Have you discovered Misha Collins? http://twitter.com/mishacollins
stoney321
Apr. 26th, 2010 11:58 pm (UTC)
He is very very funny, I like that about him. I wasn't sure if I needed to be an SPN fan (omg, don't kill me, I don't watch that show) to get the best of him. I CLEARLY WAS WRONG.
futbol16_4
Apr. 28th, 2010 02:04 am (UTC)
No problem, it is getting harder and harder for me to convert the unknowing populace into Supernatural followers--I blame these last couple of seasons as being completely myth-arch-ic (forgive me, I'm slightly *happy* right now). :)

But yes, Misha (not actually short for Michael) is crack: cheap, universal, and easy to get!
elizardbits
Apr. 27th, 2010 12:15 am (UTC)



I still haven't started watching Treme, idk. I tried, with the first ep, but there were no explosions or vampires or zombies or ninjas. I HAVE NEEDS, DAMMIT.

I will prolly end up downloading eventually, if only to appease the madness of Kassie, who is still surly and bitter over my indescribable loathing of The Vampire Diaries.
stoney321
Apr. 27th, 2010 12:19 am (UTC)
I felt like they were making sure I knew that I Was Watching Something Important with every line, and flipped it off halfway through ep 1. IDK, there was more realism/character development/less abrasive acting in ep 3, so... *hands* BUT YES. WHEN IS TRUE BLOOD BACK ON, I NEED TO LAUGH AT SUCKY AND BEEL.

And I know she stared at the IM window on her computer when I said, "Bleh, Treme." I'm not on her good side since not watching SPN because I have RESPONSIBILITIES. (lol.) She watches LOST without hatred, and we'll make a deal.
elizardbits
Apr. 27th, 2010 12:26 am (UTC)
OMG JUNE 13TH CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH. It is on my locally-visible Outlook calendar, much to the amusement of my coworkers.

Other items on my calendar: the time and date of the last three remaining shuttle launches, the last episode of LOST, reminders to buy summer blockbuster movie tix, and PMS alerts.
stoney321
Apr. 27th, 2010 12:37 am (UTC)
I HAVE BEEN ACTIVELY PURSUING A ROLE ON THAT SHOW FOR WEEKS NOW. Dammit. I just want to SEEEEEEEEEE.

I am going to be comatose the 24 hours after LOST ends. I have cleared my schedule for THAT. PMS alerts is s-m-r-t, I should do that...
elizardbits
Apr. 27th, 2010 12:49 am (UTC)
I find it valuable for two reasons: 1) it lets people know when I am most likely to try to fight them for very arbitrary reasons [like exhaling too hard near my carefully organized taxi receipts] and 2) it lets people know when to always make sure that there are potato chips available AT ALL TIMES. Just in case.
stoney321
Apr. 27th, 2010 12:59 am (UTC)
NOW I NEED POTATO CHIPS AND I AM COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY A LACK OF THEM.
elizardbits
Apr. 27th, 2010 01:03 am (UTC)
I AM TRYING TO DECIDE IF I WANT TO ACTUALLY PUT ON PANTS AND GO OUT IN THE RAIN FOR SOME DORITOS.

SURVEY SAYS: FUCK YES.
stoney321
Apr. 27th, 2010 01:06 am (UTC)
WHEN WILL FWOOMP TUBE TECHNOLOGY CATCH UP WITH MY DELIVERY NEEDS?! You might as well grab something sweet and a soda while you're out BECAUSE YOU JUST DON'T KNOW.

...or is that just me?
elizardbits
Apr. 27th, 2010 01:10 am (UTC)
OH UGH IT IS JUST YOU. I haven't had a a soda in a non-deathly hangover situation in approximately eleventy thousand years. Horrible fizzy sugary death!

It occurs to me that the cupcake place is kind of on the way to doritoland. GODDAMMIT.
vermin_nz
Apr. 28th, 2010 06:40 am (UTC)
I know when you guys in the US get True Blood back, but have no idea when it'll eventually filter down here. I have an addiction that needs to be fed; that programme is so much fun to watch.

Back to the main post...I love the strawberry tree. That's the sort of thing my mum would love. (My mum and dad each have fabulous gardens, my maternal grandfather worked as a gardener, and my paternal grandfather could grow pretty much anything. I, on the other hand, have been known to kill cacti. :-/ )

It's also great to hear that teacher has been made to change her ways; so she bloody should! She shouldn't have had that approach in the first place, but at least your actions have now made a difference and will thus spare other children from going through the same kind of crap.
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2010 01:01 pm (UTC)
Every since I transplanted my strawberries to the tower, they've EXPLODED with fruit. They very much like their new little home, yay!
zyrya
Apr. 27th, 2010 08:10 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you warned me about The Pacific. It just started here and I was going to give it a go, but you have freed me!

Your strawberry tree is six storeys of win. Do you bed them with straw? My stepmother swore by straw.
stoney321
Apr. 28th, 2010 12:07 pm (UTC)
dovil is enjoying it, but she's into the dirty realism of the battle scenes. I'm finding it incredibly disjointed and unemotional, and that last one is the unforgivable trait! The boys that fought the Japanese had it the hardest, imo. Just a completely different kind of warfare and brutal.

I bedded them with a combination of pine mulch, compost, and potting mix. Mulching them with straw sounds like a really good idea, though! (I just have access to my mix in spades, straw isn't a very common planting medium here - that's cow food! *G*)
zyrya
Apr. 28th, 2010 10:43 pm (UTC)
My step-mother always planted them in rich soil and then gave them a thick top layer of pea straw to keep the berries off the ground and semi-hide them from scavengers.

Pea straw is apparently much less likely to seed than lucerne, and I can believe that after doing my last garden with lucerne and then wishing for a pony even more than usual.
( 47 comments — Leave a comment )

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