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Quick sum-up because it's another busy day

1. Remember how I was complaining about Firefox being a douche hole? Still is. There's an incompatibility with Java - it keeps me from uploading pics to FB, and other pesky things. Not to mention the hanging, shutting down, memory leaks, etc. I installed Google Chrome last night. HELLO, LOVER. I don't use a ton of add-ons, so it's perfect for me. It has the Delicious bookmarking tool, the tab-mix built in, I'm fine with that. Plus it uses way less memory/resources and has some nice features on its own. If you're not sold on FF 3.6, I recommend Chrome. On a scale of 1 to 10 Floppy Disks I give it 73 Glavins.

2. If you're new around here (and man, those Twilight posts of mine have been making the rounds again, it seems) you might need to know that I'm a really darkly humorous person. I'm nice and love kittens, but also think this is one of the funnier Onion articles I've read since their whole "Special Olympics? Pfft!" article of days long past. (Note: I've worked with the Special Olympics for over 20 years. I also have a sense of humor.)

3. Found on The Rejectionist this morning, 'Werner Herzog' reads Madeline. OH MY GOD, that is some funny, clever shit. Right off the bat: "In an old house covered with vines, the forest trying to reclaim its ancestral lands..." LOL. The "Western Masculinity" of the doctor, the appendectomy = menstruation... WHY ARE YOU NOT WATCHING YET? Lord, it's funny.

4. Remember how awesome 70s-style porn was? No? I guess I'm saying that what made 70s style porn (See: The Green Door) awesome was that the bodies were natural, the lighting was natural, the mustaches were full and glorious. Modern porn is kinda gross and oily and hyper-tanned and plucked, etc. So check out Jacques Magazine and their natural bodies of vintage beauty. Holy crap, the chick playing racquetball (and I totally want her pink tennis outfit with the rainbow belt) is redonk. Good lord. *fans self* Quit being uptight and watch some bouncing boobs, for crying out loud.

5. I spent yesterday laughing my head off at the Ricky Gervais podcasts. I have much more to say on those, but it will have to wait. (And hey, iTunes! If you have them advertising that one can buy the full-length podcast, YOU SHOULD MAKE THEM AVAILABLE. I think the plan is to release all of the "Guide To..." podcasts into one mega-audiobook, but still. Being a tease is asshole-ish.)

Okay, it's windy and horrible outside and I have loads to get done today. And then drinking time, YAY. My mojitos await the homemade mint syrup I made earlier this week.

Comments

( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
kita0610
Apr. 30th, 2010 03:09 pm (UTC)
Lush.
stoney321
Apr. 30th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC)
Hells yeah! (And seriously. GO TO THAT JACQUES MAGAZINE. Um... dauym, theys some hot ladies.)
kita0610
Apr. 30th, 2010 03:19 pm (UTC)
*bookmarking*
risingtofall
Apr. 30th, 2010 03:10 pm (UTC)
hahaha I think I need to reread those twilight posts of yours again for a good laugh.

also, I looove vintage gay porn for the reasons you listed lol
stoney321
Apr. 30th, 2010 03:19 pm (UTC)
I haven't seen any vintage gay porn in a LONG time, but I know that look is coming back, which is great. The white piping on colored tighty-whiteys, the big 'staches, the lean, lithe bodies of the 70s, that over-exposed lighting.... I love it.
risingtofall
Apr. 30th, 2010 04:51 pm (UTC)
hahaha it is! I personally love the fu manchu mustaches and knee high athletic socks.
entrenous88
Apr. 30th, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC)
re 5: Check out the animated versions on HBO/On Demand if you have that feature. They're freaking hilarious, and you would never get a true portrayal of the perfect roundness of Karl Pilkington's head except in animation.
stoney321
Apr. 30th, 2010 03:39 pm (UTC)
GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE.
Oh, I've been watching them faithfully!! The animation is half the fun, right??? (The podcasts are about an hour long! Even more Karl Pilkington hilarity. Oh my gosh, those have me ROLLING.)
entrenous88
Apr. 30th, 2010 04:09 pm (UTC)
Re: GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE.
I listened to some fo those podcasts when they put them up a long while ago, but I should seriously listen again. There were a bunch of things I didn't remember (p0ossibly from casts I missed?) in the eps I've seen.

But! Little animated Ricky totally losing it with the upturned shrieky giggle, and animated freakishly tall Stephen Merchant and animated baboon-ish Karl Pilkington are so odd-adorable. I keep rewatching the eps, and I think I need to advance order the DVDs for whenever the hell they finally put them out.

Anyway, we've been shrieking, "Oh, chimpanzee! That Monkey News!" and scaring the cat a lot recently.
stoney321
Apr. 30th, 2010 04:33 pm (UTC)
Re: GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE.
They've made some new ones - I believe the goal is to have an audiobook that has five or six of these new ones all together, called "Ricky Gervais' Guide To: blank," and they've got one on Philosophy, the human body, the Earth, etc. etc.

I really think the animation is half the fun, esp. when they break out to the imaginings of Karl's viewpoint, esp. I love that Ricky looks like Fred Flintstone, too.

AHAHAHAHA, I bet that has been scaring Frankie, lol!
tinkerbell86ca
Apr. 30th, 2010 04:21 pm (UTC)
My GOSH! That girl bowling! BOOBIES! . . . I wish that bra was made in my size :(

Oh Ricky . . . Now I want to go and re-watch Extras (a lovely show that he was in back in England, you might enjoy it, go watch it)
stoney321
Apr. 30th, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)
Seriously. Totally old school hot and makes me wish I looked like that, too, but not in a sad "hate myself" way like modern porn chicks do.

LOVE Extras -it aired here as well. I'm a huge Gervais fan.
tinkerbell86ca
Apr. 30th, 2010 06:38 pm (UTC)
A lot of modern porn girls look so, well . . , cookie cutter. Like sad desperate Barbies.

The bowling clip actually made me feel a bit better about my body; being rather large busted, it can be hard to look cute and not slutty, she kinda pulled it off. (well, as well as a nearly topless girl can)

And she ROCKED those high-rise pants like no body's business!
stephanierb
Apr. 30th, 2010 08:15 pm (UTC)

Wait, I thought it was Behind the Green Door.

Either way, your post reminded me of a story my Dad told me. He used to work for the IRS and one of his taxpayers was a *ahem* filmmaker during a period he referred to as the "golden age of porn". I shit you not, according to my Dad, those were his exact words. Moreover, he spent a good deal of time complaining about how home video ruined pornography because everybody and their brother started making pornos in their garages. There was no longer any quality to the process, I guess.

He apparently went about how hard (pun intended) it is to find men to work in porno while women are readily available. I guess there are only so many dudes that have the stamina for the job (pun intended, again). My Dad said he had a very difficult time keeping a straight face. That story cracks me up to this day.
stoney321
May. 2nd, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC)
Could be, it's not like I own that movie or anything.

LOL - that sounds like the end of Boogie Nights, video ruined porn! LOL.
lynnenne
Apr. 30th, 2010 09:09 pm (UTC)
*drive-by hugs*
stoney321
May. 2nd, 2010 12:29 pm (UTC)
LOVE TO YOU!
bienegold
Apr. 30th, 2010 09:46 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, Werner Herzog reads Madeleine is HILARIOUS. I think I might like WH reads Mike Mulligan and the Steam Shovel better, though.
stoney321
May. 2nd, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC)
They're all golden, I've rewatched them a bazillion times now. Exactly, literally a bazillion.
a2zmom
Apr. 30th, 2010 10:02 pm (UTC)
Werner Herzog is hilarious. I missed so much when I initially read that book!
stoney321
May. 2nd, 2010 12:31 pm (UTC)
Who knew the appendectomy was symbolic of menstruation? And all of the creepy men hanging about? AHAHAHHA
kseenaa
Apr. 30th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC)
I actually changed from Firefox the other day... *gasp* O.O Using Opera now, and I don't regret it. :-) It is sleek and it is quick, much quicker then Firefox for some reason. Maybe you should try it?
stoney321
May. 2nd, 2010 12:31 pm (UTC)
No thanks, so completely happy with Chrome.
kseenaa
May. 2nd, 2010 02:47 pm (UTC)
Never tried that one. Is it any good?

I picked Opera since it got the highest score in a test I read in a huge PC magazine here in Sweden.
elizardbits
May. 1st, 2010 12:15 am (UTC)
Remember how awesome 70s-style porn was?

NO. NO I DO NOT. BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE WERE HAIRY. SO HAIRY. One of my main fears about the zombie apocalypse is not self-defense, or running out of food and water. IT IS THE ABJECT TERROR OF WHAT WE SHALL ALL LOOK LIKE WHEN THERE ARE NO RAZORS LEFT.

*sobs*

haha also all those trousers are unacceptably high-waisted. SHUUUN!
stoney321
May. 2nd, 2010 12:33 pm (UTC)
MEN WITH HAIRY CHESTS ARE FABULOUS OH MY GOD. Unless it's like a pelt, and then I want to cut them with homemade shivs made from toothbrushes and table legs.

MY MAIN FEAR OF THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE IS THAT MY NEIGHBORS WILL REALIZE THAT I AM TOTALLY PREPARED WITH 2 YEARS WORTH OF FOOD AND FUEL AND THEN I WILL HAVE TO KILL THEM ONE BY ONE AS THEY TRY TO BREAK THE PERIMETER.

Eh, I don't like too many of my neighbors anyway.

HIGH WAISTS HOLD IN THE MUFFIN TOP, YOU HATE EVERYTHING!! Lol.
elizardbits
May. 2nd, 2010 12:42 pm (UTC)
OH GOD THE HORROR. I mean, the normal T-shaped chest hair is okay. But I have seen TOO MANY MEN that took off their shirts and appeared to be wearing mohair sweaters beneath. DO NOT WANT.

Anyway I live in fear of the hairy WOMEN, not the men. *flails* ASKJGHAKGHDAFGDFG HORROR DOOM SHRIEK.


AS SOMEONE WHO WAKES UP AT 5AM TO DO ALL MANNER OF HORRIBLE CRUNCHES, I SHUN THE HIGH WAISTS AS FALSE ADVERTISING.
stoney321
May. 2nd, 2010 01:31 pm (UTC)
I would like to state for the record that I am no fan of hair sweaters. If you have hair on your shoulders or back, you need wax, and lots of it.

As someone that worked in the Nat'l Park service for a period of time, let me go on record as well that it is VERY EASY to shave your pits and legs, dirty hippies! See, I was raised Mormon, so I'm all about having a personal grocery store for the End of Times, and that includes toiletries. AND I WILL NOT SHARE WITH THE NEIGHBORS, they are zombie fodder, I must say.

AHAHAHAHA. I'll assume you also regard Spanx in the same manner? I laugh at that stuff, because you bring a guy home, peel off your support, and have big, deep red lines from that stuff holding you in. (I too favor the AM crunches, etc., I just thought she was hot, GOD.)
thefuzzyhat
May. 1st, 2010 01:09 pm (UTC)
jdolbgkgjhbkfd;lgkjfdsf;

This post contains so much awesome. What a wonderful way to start the morning: glorious Madeline narration and a link to tits. Thank you Stoneyyyy. :3
stoney321
May. 2nd, 2010 12:34 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE WELCOME.
( 30 comments — Leave a comment )

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