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I don't meme. Except for this one time.

Blame elizardbits for posting one. When have you ever known a Texan and a New Yorker to not have a pissing contest? (Lol.)

Go to google and type "you know you're from [your state] when"> and bold the ones that apply. [Note:] if you do this, do this on your blog, not in my comments. They're huge. That may sound weird to some of you, but people do this all the time over here, I don't know why. Sharing is caring? IDEK. :)


Holy crap, this one was long. Well, it's the biggest state in the Lower 48, I guess? I did delete some, too. They were just "Yay Texas, Whoo hoo!" <-- normally what I would share. :D

  1. You see more Texan flags than American flags. We're the only state allowed to fly our flag as high as the US flag, btw.

  2. You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free. I do. I also used to go to Judge Roy Bean's with the family and get the 72 oz hamburger where we'd slice it up like a pizza and eat that. Damn.

  3. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots. [Okay, I don't, but I wouldn't bat an eye at that. It's not like someone would wear some Ropin' boots (Justins) but Luchesse's or Black Jack's, and those are hand made, gorgeous, and can get up to 10K. They're the cowboy version of Manolos.]

  4. You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries. [OMG, I've not been to a Dairy Queen in ages. Peanut Butter Parfait was my poison. Now that makes me want to puke.]

  5. You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds. Hell yes.

  6. You dress up to go shopping at the mall. Don't you? That way you can see how the outfit will look when you wear it, right?

  7. You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree. [SHUT UP. We don't do this, unless it's with irony. I'm assuming. I'm not living in the Ponderosa.]

  8. You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor. Chipotle in everything!!! Or at least some Ancho pepper.

  9. You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken. Spicy, wild chicken. Ditto for copperheads. :)

  10. You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards. [This is ridiculous. Armadillos are nocturnal and cowboys/folks don't keep night vision on their saddles. o_0]

  11. You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is. My husband drives one. :)

  12. You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud [This is stupid. It should be "Wayne."]

  13. Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department Sí! Es muy delicioso!

  14. You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents Or most things about "Texans." Minus FNL. Spot on. But then, Buddy Garrity is from Waco.

  15. You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine AUGH, PACE PICANTE COMMERCIALS MAKE ME RAGE. That stuff is what people OUTSIDE love. That stuff is crap. There are so many nuances to a fine salsa...

  16. You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen. [GRODY.]

  17. You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team" And guys? I don't even BELIEVE in God, yet I believe this. DALLAS COWBOYS!!!

  18. You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth. Pretty much.

  19. You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans. [EFF YOU. EFF YOU IN THE A.]

  20. Your Pastor wears boots. [WTF? Everyone wears boots, except for a few businessmen in Dallas. And my sister. Lol.]

  21. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin. [WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.]

  22. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. [How is this... Although, it's true. lol. There's a song: "The only Armadillos that you'll ever see in Texas are the dead ones lying in the road, kuthunk, kathunk, kathunk."]

  23. You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.

  24. The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops totally until Oct 2. Not entirely true, but it FEELS that way. Except for the breeze blowing right now. Hmm.

  25. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic. You better cry for ME, Argentina, because they came from YOUR LAND. *cry* I hate them with a VENGEANCE.

  26. Coldbeer actually is one word. [WRONG. It's COBEER. There is no L nor D in that phrase.]

  27. People really grow and eat okra. But I am not one of them. I'll eat it in gumbo or deep fried, but that's it.

  28. Fixinto is one word. Why doesn't everyone say this? "I'm fixin to go to the store." Fixin' to = about to/preparing to. Screw you, it's how I talk.

  29. Jeeet? is actually a phrase meaning Did you eat? The proper response would be: "Naw jew? Squeet." ;)

  30. You've had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day. If you don't like the weather, wait a few minutes.

  31. You know what cow tipping and snipe hunting is. Yeah, it's called summer camp. I think we all know this, though.

  32. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas. Lol.

  33. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. ZOMG I cannot wait for winter. LOL.

  34. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop .. its a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Yes. Always. Always Always. "You wanna coke?" Sure. "What kind?" Dr. Pepper.

  35. You can say 110 degrees without fainting.

  36. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. It works, too.

  37. You can make instant sun tea True story: I hate iced tea. HATE. (That's the old Mormon in me. I'm mostly alone on that one.)

  38. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance Parked at the end of the lot yesterday just because there was a tree, in fact.

  39. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets See: 110 degrees.

  40. No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning I feel bad when I see people from up north in their cars with the windows rolled down. You won't find a car sold here without A/C, unless it came from up north. Truly. It's practically against the law.

  41. You can drive all day and not leave the state 14 hours from Dallas to El Paso. And Dallas is 2.5 hours from Shreveport, the other end.

  42. You shop at HEB [I WISH! I loved Central Market.]

  43. The town you live in is bigger than Rhode island Well, that was true when I lived in Dallas, for sure.

  44. You see more trucks on your daily commute than you'll see in the state of New Jersey [What the hell do they drive in Jersey? Faux Bentleys? Lol. This shit is racist against Texans.]

  45. We don't have an ocean; we have a gulf CRY. :(

  46. You eat tacos for breakfast Sí!!! Migas, por favor, con chorizo.

  47. You think Dr. Pepper is the best damn coke in the world When I drink them, I drink the Doctor.

  48. We panic when there is an inch of snow on the ground What do you mean "we" Kemosabe? The natives? Yes. Me, who lived in the Uintas? No. :)

  49. Air conditioning is standard on every car sold here

  50. You have 10 favorite recipes for deer meat. And 10 more for Wild Boar!

  51. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo I will happily help y'all with that, too, should you need it. And add in Bexar, but why is Witchita Falls in there? How else could you say it? It's WITCH-ih-tah falls. ??

  52. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel. LOL. ....true.

  53. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. I love this, feminism or no. It's just respectful and not degrating. The idea isn't that you CAN'T open the door, but another person CAN. Example: I open a door for older women, too. It's a show of respect to their age, etc. *shrug* I like politeness, what can I say.




...those didn't really seem like the "you know you're from, when" type things, but eh.

Gotta pay a speeding ticket today (omg, my first ticket of any kind in almost TWENTY YEARS, WTH??) and I'm not happy about it. Mostly because I sped up to pass some Californian going below the posted limit. seriously, what is it with Californians and slow driving? Always true here, whyyyyy??? You don't go SLOWER than the speed limit, that's what we locals consider "the slowest you CAN go." Lol. And on country roads? It's just a suggestion. Hahaha. I'm surprised I've not had more tickets, after writing that. Look: it takes forever to get anywhere here because it's all sprawled out. So we drive fast to get somewhere.)

LAST THING: THE LEFT LANE IS THE FAST LANE, OMG. Get out if someone's going faster than you. It's also not the PHONE CONVO LANE. I think people ride in the far left while talking so they don't have to watch TWO lanes of traffic. That's my theory, and it feels sound.

My shoulders hurt from lifting weights. Someone scratch my nose for me.

Comments

( 63 comments — Leave a comment )
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swmbo
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:29 pm (UTC)
My favorite part is where you yell about where it's totally wrong. Particularly armadillos and 'secret' sin (I don't know what that means, either!!)

I like your phone convo lane theory.

*scritches your nose*
stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:49 pm (UTC)
IT IS TOTALLY WRONG!! And I have no idea what "secret sin" means. Help me, O flist!

*passes you some wipes for the sticky melon juice*
wickedsin
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:37 pm (UTC)
omg, this makes me miss Dallas so much

(even though I'm from California, I'm really a Texan, in my heart.)
stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
Spoken like a true Texan. :D
... - wickedsin - Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
menomegirl
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:43 pm (UTC)
Ah ha ha! I love your comments.

Hee-When I'm out in public, I rarely ever have to open my own door and I open doors for everybody, regardless of age, sex or disability.

#21-wtf?

stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:51 pm (UTC)
Yes yes yes - the door opening! It's just nice.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT 21 IS.
... - menomegirl - Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - veracity - Jul. 22nd, 2010 11:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
furikku
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
Quite a few of those Texas things apply to Alabama, too. Keen. :D
stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:51 pm (UTC)
There's bound to be some overlap. I assume you mean the "Wayne" bit? Lol.
... - furikku - Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
tabaqui
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:51 pm (UTC)
Maybe a 'secret' sin is one that nobody should no about, but everybody in Texas gossips so everybody knows? I have no clue.

I think every single one of these that i've seen has had the 'don't like the weather? wait five minutes' line. Everybody thinks that about their state, heh.

I mostly don't fit the Missouri ones 'cause my parents weren't 'from' here, really - my mom grew up in St. Louis with people from up north and Germany, and my dad in Massachusetts and were more like them than 'locals'. I've even been asked, in my life, on several occasions, if i'm 'from England'. Heh.
turnonmyheels
Jul. 22nd, 2010 03:56 pm (UTC)
I cannot resist. I must do it too.

stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 05:58 pm (UTC)
YAY!
(Deleted comment)
menomegirl
Jul. 22nd, 2010 04:00 pm (UTC)
oh my god, you gotta do it! cause I wanna read it!
(Deleted comment)
... - menomegirl - Jul. 22nd, 2010 08:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
... - dampersnspoons - Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
gabzilla
Jul. 22nd, 2010 04:03 pm (UTC)
Ok, that meme made me lol - remembering with a cringe life living in Plano. (btw, only 2 seasons in CO: Winter and Construction season, MD has 10billion different levels of humid swamp seasons)

Good God, yes you do have to drive fast to get anywhere in Texas. Although I do have to disagree with your theory about people driving in the fast lane while talking on the phone. I say they're just idiots. Plain and simple.
stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:01 pm (UTC)
Just so you know, I say "Matt. Damon." every time you use that icon. Not that it's a bad thing.

Plano! Where snobs and cowboys and immigrants don't mix, amirite?

Well, I think they're idiots, too, but I think that's THEIR reasoning.
heatherbird
Jul. 22nd, 2010 04:42 pm (UTC)
27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 37, 38, 44, 50, and 53 could all go for Virginia as well :)
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:01 pm (UTC)
I'm about to make and pass out bumper stickers, it drives me so crazy.
underthethrow
Jul. 22nd, 2010 05:26 pm (UTC)
What's the deal with the funnel thing
stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:02 pm (UTC)
? As in the tornado squestion? Tornados = funnel clouds.
... - underthethrow - Jul. 22nd, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
killiara
Jul. 22nd, 2010 05:27 pm (UTC)
As an El Pasoan... yes. To most of this.

And for the record, I wore white cowboy boots to my wedding under that fluffy dress. No one saw em till it was time for the garter toss, but boy was I comfortable.
killiara
Jul. 22nd, 2010 05:29 pm (UTC)
And 15. YES. Mein GOTT why do people eat that crap? Thanks to my favorite local restaurant, pancakes just don't taste right anymore without a lingering salsa burn on my tounge from the complimentary chips and salsa. ^_^
... - stoney321 - Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
ladycyndra
Jul. 22nd, 2010 05:57 pm (UTC)
We decorate tumbleweeds? *blink* Since when? WHAT DID I MISS?? AND YES ABOUT THE DALLAS COWBOYS!!!

*coughs* I got excited. <_<
stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:03 pm (UTC)
The decorate tumbleweed thing... maybe in a NYC magazine spread about "Texans" you know?
... - ladycyndra - Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
beyondrubicon
Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:08 pm (UTC)
You see more trucks on your daily commute than you'll see in the state of New Jersey [What the hell do they drive in Jersey? Faux Bentleys? Lol. This shit is racist against Texans.]

According to the Jersey version of this that I took we all drive Camaros. Never owned one which I guess is why I live in VA now. :)
stoney321
Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:23 pm (UTC)
LOL. And come on, how many Escalades are there in Wayne County? That's just like here. ;)
... - beyondrubicon - Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - veracity - Jul. 22nd, 2010 10:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
julia_here
Jul. 22nd, 2010 06:37 pm (UTC)
People from Waco put way more vowels in there than one would think possible. My husband's Cousin Horace, a retired Texas Ranger, can fit three of them before the "c."

Julia, having a particularly Washington summer, with, so far, two days above 80F
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( 63 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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