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"(Where?) Down in my heart! (Who?) Down in my heart!" Where is the Rod and Tod Flanders fic, you guys? There needs to be some. There also needs to be a story wherein the Old Spice Man and the Keith Stone (Keystone) guy meet and out awesome each other. I've been thinking of that last one for days, and even my husband wants that story.

I have officially become an old person. Why? Because I continually laugh at my old lame jokes that I continue to use, even though I know it's old and lame. You know that person, the "Hot enough for ya?" guy. That's me. Case in point: I have walked around my house squinting for a solid half hour, remembered that i should put on my glasses and said - as I always do - "I can't see a thing without my glasses!" in my Velma voice. And laughed at myself. AS I ALWAYS DO.

When you're ashamed of yourself for not being ashamed of yourself... A vortex should have opened sucking me into another galaxy, but it didn't.

It is raining today! It rained yesterday, too! Ease up there, Hoss, on the joyfulness of autumn because I STILL DON'T HAVE MY POOL. I don't care if I get hypothermia, once it's done I am going to sit on a damned floaty with a cold cocktail in my hand, teeth chattering, and float in that mo-fo until I feel like I have had my proper summertime pool experience.

I am wearing PANTS. (As opposed to shorts, I'm no exhibitionist.) it is chilled outside! It's like, 73! I may need a sweater. :) It is SO cold in fact (lol) that I am making cold weather food: chicken fried venison steaks, twice baked potatoes, and probably some sort of salad to make me feel less guilty. AND RED WINE. The first wine of the season. (I don't do white wine. Pleh.) OH SPEAKING OF,

I'm super behind on Top Chef [spoilers to follow] and saw it last night. The quick fire challenge where they had to pair the wine with the food? And one of the wines featured is one of the worst I've ever put in my mouth? It was like I licked a skunk's behind after it sat in fish scales for three days? EVOLUTION. I am not a fan of Oregon wines, first of all, and second of all, it was a white, and third of all, it tastes like an old sock pulled off the butt of said skunk. GROSS. I was bothered that Angelo won, mostly because there was red meat and red wine in that room and I wanted to eat it all. OM NOM NOM. Also, I'm super sad Tiffany is gone, because she was my favorite cheftestant. Ahahaha, I hate that word.

I don't even know what to say about Project Runway, for those watching this season. Tell me your thoughts.

In other news, I have a new internet venture that will hopefully be live in a week, so I fully expect all of you to click daily and make me famous. Ahaha. More to come on that next week! (Note: that's where I'm going to be talking about all of the crappy TV I love, like Jersey Shore, Real Housewives, etc.)

HAVE A LOVELY WEEKEND, FOLKS. Enjoy the time off, for those of you without work on Monday.

Comments

( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
essene
Sep. 3rd, 2010 03:41 pm (UTC)
wherein the Old Spice Man and the Keith Stone (Keystone) guy meet and out awesome each othe

FUCK YEAH!!! *makes grabby hands* It's ridiculous how much I enjoy those commercials. And maybe Mayhem from All State could come careening through.

I am also sad that Tiffany's gone. I think she's a much better chef than Kevin. And if Antonio wins this season...OMG...I will...I don't even... *tiny fists of rage*

Project Runway. 1) I'm sad Peach is gone just because she was such good people. 2) I HATE Ivy. I have never seen such a bitchy brown-noser in my life. 3) While I think that Gretchen is talented, I don't understand the other competitor's falling all over every word she says. 4) Michael. Each time he's won, I thought that there was a better dress than his (1st time: the other Michael, this time: Mondo), but I don't think he's the untalented hack that the other designers seem to think he is. I think it's going to come down to Gretchen, Mondo and Christopher this season.

Sorry about the pool bb. You shall have it soon! And then, for the rest of your life.
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 03:47 pm (UTC)
TV SPOILERS
I really didn't expect Kevin to make it this far, he's been so inconsistent! Angelo is a putz. I bet he makes fabulous food, but he's so pretentious. I love that Anthony Bourdain (ungh) was all, "I have no idea what you're talking about. And I'm Anthony - stand nekkid with a tomahawk chop - Bourdain."

I loved Peach, too, but her clothes were... not good. I hate Ivy so much, oh my GOD. She's rotten!! I didn't care for the dress Michael C made this time either, BUT. I think because there was some deign happening and it wasn't just a sheath (albeit a beautiful sheath) that Mondo made, that's why he won. But I wouldn't have worn it.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
I WOULD GET IT. And even better, I would laugh.

The longer eps are allowing for more backstage in-fighting, which is good TV, I won't lie.
shipperx
Sep. 3rd, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
I don't even know what to say about Project Runway, for those watching this season. Tell me your thoughts

None of them seem particularly talented but sanctimonious bohemian chick wears on my last nerve.
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 03:51 pm (UTC)
Oh, isn't she horrid?? That's Gretchen. She makes awful faces, too. Those I like, because it's to tsk tsk her by. ;)
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:26 pm (UTC)
!!!!!
MIMITW: I don't often drink beer-
Keith Stone: GASP!
MIMITW: But when I do-
OldSpice: I'm on a horse.
MIMITW: Stay thirsty, my friends. *hang glides away*
strtmyorange
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, man. I DESPISE!!! The Most Interesting Man in the World. He's The Most Annoying Man in The World to me. Hate those commercials with so much passion. I'm going to vote for a three-way with Old Spice, Keith Stone, and Mayhem from Allstate (mostly because I've always loved Dean Winters).
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:38 pm (UTC)
I hate the Mayhem guy - I love Dean Winters, but I think they're poorly executed commercials. *shrug*
strtmyorange
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:50 pm (UTC)
"but I think they're poorly executed commercials"

Yes, very true, but I'm blinded by my love for Dean!!!
bienegold
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:17 pm (UTC)
OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH MY REALITY SHOWS THIS YEAR.

The only contestant on Top Chef whom I even VAGUELY care about is out, and Project Runway is full of cattier bitches and people who produce abominations (and some of them overlap)! WOE.
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:26 pm (UTC)
THIS. BAH. What the hell, man? I NEED PEOPLE TO CHEER FOR.
bienegold
Sep. 3rd, 2010 05:25 pm (UTC)
Also? The PR judges are on CRACK this season. My only consolation is that Michael C. will be around for at least two more weeks to torment Gretchen and Ivy.
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 06:02 pm (UTC)
GAH, YES. Both parts.
blaueteufelin
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:23 pm (UTC)
Project Runway: Here be spoilers.

There were a lot of execution issues with Michael C.'s look, but the idea showed style and design chops. Mondo's and Chris's were both cute and well executed but really didn't read "fashion" to me. So I think he got the win for that (though I think I remember April's being really good and being surprised that she wasn't in the top 3).

Aaaanyway while I probably wouldn't have picked Michael C. for the win I did love the deliciousness of Ivy and Gretchen all flaily and angry because the judges loved his work again. Schadenfreude, it is so sweet.

Ivy is . . . I don't even know. She seems to have totally made up the rumor that Michael C was telling people she was a bitch. I think she's probably pretty unhinged from reality. And Gretchen just reads textbook narcissist to me.
blaueteufelin
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:24 pm (UTC)
Also, I'm pretty impressed by how much drama the judges are managing to milk out of this! They must have been totally salivating when Michael C. picked Gretchen for his team.
blaueteufelin
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:25 pm (UTC)
Err, I mean to say, the producers, not the judges.
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:28 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I think you nailed it with "didn't really read fashion to me." I think that's it.

Who's the guy with the bad skin and the ear chain? His shorts and top were fantastically made, but they were just shorts and a top. But they were impeccible.

Ivy is HORRID. HORRID.
blaueteufelin
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:32 pm (UTC)
With the mohawk? That's Andy. Yea, I'd totally forgotten about his entry - very well made, but not very memorable.
elizardbits
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:26 pm (UTC)
When you're ashamed of yourself for not being ashamed of yourself...

WELCOME TO THE POST-TOM HARDY ERA OF MY LIFE. I have watched that workout video approximately 47 times so far and am only taking a break for lunch. SEND HALP.

Edited at 2010-09-03 04:26 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:27 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

I have finally entered your realm, AND I AM NOT FULLY PREPARED. I don't even have a proper first aid kit. (Booze, remote batteries, Tom Hardy... toys, etc.)
elizardbits
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:30 pm (UTC)
SRSLY DUDE I fear I am only a few short crazysteps away from buying THIS, hunting him down, knocking him over the head with it, AND INCEPTING HIM WITH OUR LOOOOOOVE.

It occurs to me that I will first have to fight my way through the army of fangirls who just all had the EXACT SAME IDEA. *sigh*
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 04:40 pm (UTC)
YOU JUST INCEPTED YOUR IDEA. WAY TO GO, RUBE. That's a rookie mistake.

See, you need to come up with a unique plan where-in you are a Rap Producer of Note and want to hire him and PNut for a series of breakdance videos. AND THEN MAKE HIM YOURS.
captainofidiots
Sep. 3rd, 2010 05:32 pm (UTC)
I've been slowly easing my way into drinking wine, which I don't do as much as I'd like. I haven't really found a red that I like that much, but I seem to like really dry white wines. I want to like reds too!

Was so sad to see Tiffany go! She's been my favorite by far. I really don't want to see Angelo win the whole thing, but that's kind of what I'm expecting. Ugh. And Anthony Bourdain... mmmmm... I have strong urges to climb him.
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 06:01 pm (UTC)
"which I don't do as much as I'd like." You are someone after my own heart. I think it's the dryness of whites that I *don't* like. I like the big, bold, spicy flavors of red. (Have you had Santa Margherita's Pinot Grigio? That's the only white I like.)

I LOVE ANTHONY BOURDAIN. Ungh, he is delicious.
captainofidiots
Sep. 3rd, 2010 07:19 pm (UTC)
I haven't tried that but I'm going to add it to my list I'm keeping! I can never remember what I like and don't like, so I'm trying to be more organized about it. So if you have any red's to recommend, I won't complain. :) I'm still developing my palate and trying to decide what I really like.

Most recently I've been up to the Korbel Champagne Cellars near Santa Rosa, which was a lot of fun. Can't live near wine country and not partake!
ladycyndra
Sep. 3rd, 2010 05:35 pm (UTC)
It stormed BADLY here yesterday and I'm GLAD!! We need the rain and now its cool!! Its....well damn it WAS 78 and now its 85. That was fast. ^_^;

Boo for still no pool yet!!! HURRY UP, POOL DUDES! Stoney needs her summertime pool fun!!!
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 06:02 pm (UTC)
HEAR HER, POOL GODS, AND BRING ME PLEASURE!
dampersnspoons
Sep. 3rd, 2010 06:35 pm (UTC)
PROJECT RUNWAY SPOILERS.

I never miss a season of this show, and this season is WHY. I love the challenges, I love Heidi (OMG love her.) I love Tim Gunn (I am appalled that you allowed Gretchen to manipulate and bully you!) and this season is filled with drama.

Gretchen (as Chris says) looks just like John Malcovich, and is just as egocentric. Fuck, I hate her. Ivy is a little busybody who can't style her way out of a sack. I'm kind of rooting for Michael, in that weird sort of underdoggy way, even though he is kinda bitchy. I don't know, I love his bitchiness. I LOVE how he rubs it in. Because it makes for good TV.
dampersnspoons
Sep. 3rd, 2010 06:39 pm (UTC)
Also: CASSANOVA is so god damned fabulous that I want to dance to mees glaweea steffan weesout our choos on becawse we are soo facking cray-si. I dun cair da hee ees such a crybabies becawse he makes me go like dees--> :D Ang den he can make me some fantastico pantalones wees de teal seelky fabreeks.
stoney321
Sep. 3rd, 2010 07:00 pm (UTC)
I love the new, longer show and all of the behind the scenes stuff they do now. Heidi laughing at everything Michael Kohrs says is the best.

I love Michael C, too, and for the same reason. Oh man, the weird faces Gretchen made while chatting with her mom! BLEH.

I LOVE DE CAHSANOHVA SO MOOSH. He so cray cray an fabooluss.
bailunrui
Sep. 3rd, 2010 07:34 pm (UTC)
PROJECT RUNWAY SPOILERS

While I loved the Schadenfreude of the win, I... I didn't see the appeal of Michael C's dress. The top was all over the place and the skirt didn't wow me. I thought that Mondo was going to win that one. The construction on his dress was insane! Ivy can go DIAF. It was painfully obvious that she made up the rumor about Michael C. Insecurity much? Getchen wasn't such an ass this week, which was nice. I'm sad to see Peach go, but none of her outfits ever called out to me.
arcana_j
Sep. 3rd, 2010 08:36 pm (UTC)
It's 100 degrees here. I would gladly take all the joyfulness of autumn you can spare. In fact, if I may...

Spring be gone and summer too.
I bid your sunlit days adieu,
And gladly all your charms eschew.
I’m wholly sick of both of you.

Written by me, hating the heat.
txvoodoo
Sep. 4th, 2010 05:15 am (UTC)
Wretchen and Ivy are spawns of satan. The Mean Girls sooo much.

I was happy for this week's winner if ONLY to see them upset.

RAIN. COOL WEATHER. I has a happy. And it's still warm enough for pool. (Says the girl from the Northeast!)
ivyfree
Sep. 4th, 2010 02:39 pm (UTC)
I love that Lifetime has said, "We have a hit show here- how can we make it better? Oh yeah SHOW MORE!" and gave us the extra half hour of backstage. That's briliant! They didn't change the format, they didn't dump any of the people who work there, and nobody had to go into labor in the middle of an episode, they just gave us more of the same! Amazingly intelligent decision. Now I wonder what we would have seen if we'd had an extra half hour of Wendy Pepper driving everyone nuts, or Santino arguing with Nina, or even Kenley and Tim Gunn! Or Viktorya. Heck, every season there's been somebody bringing the crazy.

Best moment of the season, and one when I realized we'd shot way past crazyland and into an alternate universe: Last episode, when the losers left the runway, and Nina forgot her European cool, shook her head and said, "Wow."

Ivy Higa needs to go away right now. Somehow she's gotten selected by... I guess herself and Gretchen... as a possible winner. I do not think it's going to happen. She and Gretchen are going to make matching pink sweaters, rat their hair into beehives, and dump pig blood on Michael C.

Incidentally, I live in jeans and work in scrubs. I don't know fashion from a hole in the ground, and I didn't understand what was good about Michael C's garment until the judges explained to me what I was seeing....but once they talked about it, I could understand it at least. Not that I could ever wear it. (Or would.) DH bought us a hugh hi-def tv which annoyingly makes TV seem LESS real. Evidently I can no longer enter the fantasy, when TV looks too real.
polish_pirate
Sep. 5th, 2010 06:19 am (UTC)
PROJECT RUNWAY SPOILERS OMFG!!!

*ahem* I have to say that so far, I'm slightly unimpressed with the formatting of Project Runway this year. I feel like they're doing EVERYTHING THEY POSSIBLY CAN to KEEP PEOPLE WATCHING. Seriously, I feel like it's soooo overdone it's ridiculous. I have always loved the show as it was, but now I feel like they're just milking everything they can to add DRAMA and INTRIGUE. It's offensive to my sensibilities... (keep in mind the only "reality" type shows I watch are PR and Iron Chef, if that counts...)

That disclaimer aside... UGH. Ivy is a talentless hack.. How many monochromatic outfits is she going to pump out? All of her outfits have white or khaki pants- did she try to squeeze in all those pants BEFORE Labor Day. AUGH!!! They're so boring and BLAH. Not only that, she's two-faced just like...

GRETCHEN. I can't stand her. Oh my goodness, I thought she was going to be cute and sweet like Leanne, but after two wins she turned into a horrible beast woman. Yikes.

*sigh* No one on the show currently is super awesome. I feel like most of them have HUGE personality issues, which are probably just spawned by Lifetime's attempt to be DRAMATIC.

I just hope Mondo wins. He thinks outside the box and keeps to his vision no matter what. Awkward geniuses FTW!!!

/rant.
nijireiki
Sep. 5th, 2010 08:17 am (UTC)
I have not watched Project Runway for a few seasons because it seems like everybody is boring and/or unlikeable? And not in the same way as some of the contestants on RuPaul's Drag Race were boring and/or unlikeable. That shit's my new crack! The only reality TV I'm watching lately is RuPaul's Drag U and really late-night Cooking Channel challenges.

And speaking of, re: Anthony Bourdain, I think the Travel Channel is showing a No Reservations marathon this weekend leading up to the new season premiere! We love him in my house. My sister has memorized notes by imagining the sound of his voice reading them to her, and she reported this as being utterly non-sexual. The force is strong with him. (Although when my mom first saw him, she said he "looked like HIV." When we asked her what she meant, she just said, "You know. Immune compromised." She meant "looked like he went through some years of hard-living", but that's my mom for you.)

ALSO, I WOULD GET YOUR JOKE. I AM DRESSING AS VELMA FOR HALLOWEEN! I am even making a box of Scooby Snacks to carry!!
maybe1ce
Sep. 5th, 2010 06:31 pm (UTC)
1) Forget Commercial Fanfic: The delicious teasing at the judges table had me pondering the deliciousness of Anthony Bourdain/Eric Ripert RPF. Hellllllooooo, gentlemen!

2) Cassanova with his two weeks of awesome quotes: Last week's "And I'm getting Faaaaaaat! and This week's "Now we hafff TWO people who have won TWO times? Is'nt that wooooonderful?" Heheheh. Gretchen looked like she has swallowed her scissors at that.
( 38 comments — Leave a comment )

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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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