?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

My nostrils flare at the sight of him

Pursed lips, shady gaze, the whole nine. I'm talking about Scott Caan, which is why I'll apparently never be able to watch Hawaii 5-0. GUYS. Really? Really? He's a "sex symbol?" BLECH x infinity. His head is eighteen times too big for his squatty frame, first of all, second of all, I'm taller than him and I'm not that tall. I'm 5'6" for those who need to know. Jon Stewart is the only man that gets a pass on that with me, and it's because he's (mostly) proportional. And he's Jon Stewart.

I practically fast forward through Entourage eps when Caan's on screen because he's so disproportionate. Whenever he would get shirty on that show I would always shout out, "And my ax!*" to make my husband laugh. HE IS GROCE. (AND LIKE, ALL OF YOU LOVE HIM. Siiiiiigh. You can have my portion.)

There, I feel better. Except for how I found out yesterday that I AM OLDER THAN ANGIE HARMON BY TWO DAYS. How is that possible? That totes gave me a sad. AND I AM OLDER THAN GOOP. I feel like they're way older than me, and I'm 18 and why do these kids keep calling me "mom" and ... *cry*

Okay, to feel better I'm going to remind myself of the fantastic (and inexpensive) bottle of Calif. Cab I drank last night. Um, I did cook with one glassful of it, so it's not that bad that I drank the rest. NO IT ISN'T. Louis M. Martini Cab Sav, Alexander Valley, 2006 reserve. I'm getting a few bottle to cellar, because it's supposed to get better with age, and I don't know how that's possible.


*You cannot have my axe, though, because it's currently detailing my balls. <--- UM MY SON ASKED FOR THIS PRODUCT. FOR HIS BALLS. NO, THOSE WERE HIS WORDS. I blame video games. (Also, Old Spice Guy on Chuck!!)

That should be enough random for now, right?

Comments

( 63 comments — Leave a comment )
oatmellow
Sep. 28th, 2010 02:39 pm (UTC)
Sadness. I don't find SCaan that sexy but I LOVE him on that show. Seriously, for me the show is worth the chemistry and banter alone. Then there is Daniel Dae Kim. Mmmmm.

I'm also sad that I no longer have cable and cannot watch the polygamy trainwreck from your earlier post. Maybe I can Hulu it...
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 02:43 pm (UTC)
I love me some DDK, he is DELICIOUS. But that is how grody to the max I find Mr. Caaaaaaaaaan. Cannot endure him on my screen. It's like an allergy.

Oooh, I bet you could? Or on TLC's homepage, maybe? MEL. I FOUND OUT THEY LIVE IN MY OLD TOWN. WHERE MY DAD GREW UP. WHAT. It's like, population 413, no really!
... - oatmellow - Sep. 28th, 2010 03:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Sep. 28th, 2010 03:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
killabeez
Sep. 28th, 2010 02:47 pm (UTC)
Whenever he would get shirty on that show I would always shout out, "And my ax!*"

You just made me spew water. Also, I am with you on this.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 02:58 pm (UTC)
HAHA - but seriously, right?!?!
fitofpique
Sep. 28th, 2010 02:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, God. I just had to Google to see if he's the one in the posters who I find entirely unattractive and the first picture I clicked to confirm HAD HIS JUNK IN IT. WHY GOD WHY?

;___;
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 02:59 pm (UTC)
SEE WHY HE IS SO GROCE TO THE MOST? Also, James Caan isn't sexy, why would his get be any different!?!?
... - captainofidiots - Sep. 28th, 2010 09:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - fitofpique - Sep. 28th, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Sep. 28th, 2010 11:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
stephanierb
Sep. 28th, 2010 03:23 pm (UTC)

I do not find Scott Caan sexy, either, but I agree with the first poster - he's very good on H50. He has good chemistry with the lead and some very funny lines.

I'm a little slow today, but what product did your son ask for? And did he really mention his balls?
judetwee
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:27 pm (UTC)
Axe body detailer scrubber thingy! There's this dumb ad with a pair of women holding various types of balls talking about how Axe makes them like way tempting and women will want to play with them and stuff.
... - stoney321 - Sep. 28th, 2010 11:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stephanierb - Sep. 29th, 2010 02:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
flaming_muse
Sep. 28th, 2010 03:32 pm (UTC)
Are you kidding? He is SO not sexy, at least to me! The elephant man he is not, but I think he's weird-looking. That doesn't negate him as an actor but... sex symbol?!
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:38 pm (UTC)
He isn't sexy at all, but I don't think he's funny, either, because he always plays the same character and I don't like him as an actor. I AM FULL OF HATE AND SHADOW AND BUGS, I guess. :(
copykween
Sep. 28th, 2010 03:43 pm (UTC)
I have Hawaii 5-0 recorded, but haven't watched yet. But, I AGREE, Scott Caan is enought to put me off the show. Alex O' is hot hot hot on a stick, though (or at least he was in Moonlight, vamps yay!).
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:38 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I just hope everyone else enjoys the show, I won't watch it with him on it.
strtmyorange
Sep. 28th, 2010 03:59 pm (UTC)
He's a "sex symbol?

Eeewww! Whoever took that poll did not ask me.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:38 pm (UTC)
ME NEITHER!
brunettepet
Sep. 28th, 2010 04:03 pm (UTC)
Wait, SC is supposed to be sexy? I thought he was comedy relief.

I am so behind on TV it's becoming a chore.

stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:39 pm (UTC)
Is he? IDK because I won't watch the show. Anytime I google him I always find pictures of him acting like he's hot. NO, YOU'RE NOT, DUDE.
secondalto
Sep. 28th, 2010 04:13 pm (UTC)
Since when is SC a sex symbol? Did I miss the memo? *looks*

Anyway, saw H5-0, was eh about the pilot. Hubby may continue to watch it cause he has a thing for Grace Park.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:39 pm (UTC)
I didn't get one, either!

I love GRace Park and DDK, but not enough to trump my grossed-out-ness.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:40 pm (UTC)
SEE, EXCELLENT POINT!
kita0610
Sep. 28th, 2010 05:28 pm (UTC)
Hey don't insult the latest Heb sex symbol. ::g::

I agree actually he's kinda funny lookin. Smokin bod though. And u know they're all the same height lyin down. :p
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:42 pm (UTC)
I WILL AND YOU KNOW WHY? Because you can do better. Like, say, the Baron-Cohen family, Sacha and his cousin Simon, the leading researcher in the WORLD for autism. Sacha is hot like burning, ungh. And ORTHODOX.

Smokin' bod? It's half the size of Maze! And when they lie down, you can't... reach things in certain positions because they are TOO WEE.
... - kita0610 - Sep. 28th, 2010 11:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
gehayi
Sep. 28th, 2010 05:42 pm (UTC)
I just looked him up because I never heard of Scott Caan before. He doesn't do anything for me, but blond men and musclemen rarely do, and since he's both...well, no surprise there.

I'm puzzled by the "GROCE", though. Is that the new spelling for "gross"? Because if it is, I shall cry.

Or does "groce" mean something completely different? I'm torn between it being an abbreviation for "grocery" or with it being pronounced "GRAH-chee" to rhyme with "bocce."
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:43 pm (UTC)
I'm right there with blond and muscley = NOT MY THING.

GROCE is a funny way of saying gross. It doesn't need to be over thought, although rhyming it with bocce is now my favorite thing ever, lol.
maybe1ce
Sep. 28th, 2010 06:53 pm (UTC)
It could be worse. I am a month to the day YOUNGER than Gwen Stefani. When I told my 12 year old daughter this, she was shocked.

"Really mom. You seem a LOT older than her."


Brat.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:44 pm (UTC)
I will ground your daughter on your behalf. We have to stick together. And get botox.
... - maybe1ce - Sep. 28th, 2010 11:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
lynnenne
Sep. 28th, 2010 07:11 pm (UTC)
"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

He's pretty funny on H50, though. Not sexy, but funny.

His head is eighteen times too big for his squatty frame

Marsters should fit right in, then. *g*
dovil
Sep. 28th, 2010 07:17 pm (UTC)
Marsters should fit right in, then. *g*

Ha! That was exactly my thought! Hawaii 5-0, attack of the bobblehead people.
... - stoney321 - Sep. 28th, 2010 11:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
mosrael
Sep. 28th, 2010 07:13 pm (UTC)
You should totes get the boy some Axe for his balls - it'll ensure no one is ever in the vicinity of them...

Heh, I kid, but seriously that shit is noxious. And most users seem to drench themselves in it. D:D:D:
mosrael
Sep. 28th, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC)
Eurgh, googled this Scott and he looks so... fratboy. And a bit cobbled together physically. AND WHY IS HE SQUINTING IN ALL HIS PICTURES
... - stoney321 - Sep. 28th, 2010 11:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
dovil
Sep. 28th, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC)
I had to google him. His head is ENORMOUS! Isn't James Masters apparently popping up on that show? I weep for the camera man. If those two were sharing scenes they'd have to film even the close up conversation parts in widescreen panorama.

I see people my own age on tv and go 'Ohhh, they haven't aged well'. It's called denial. I'm clinging to it.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:45 pm (UTC)
IT IS SO BIG! And he's shorter than Marsters! And squatty! GROSS GROSS GROSS.
... - dovil - Sep. 28th, 2010 11:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
rocketlaunching
Sep. 28th, 2010 08:16 pm (UTC)
Scott Caan will forever be the alcoholic douchebag teenager from Varsity Blues to me. You know, the one who ran around naked, stole police cars, and humiliated their teacher who was also a stripper. Yeah.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:45 pm (UTC)
You have helped me make my point STRONGER.
altyronsmaker
Sep. 28th, 2010 08:40 pm (UTC)
Ugh. I'm with you - NOT a Scott Caan fan. LOVE his father, always have. But Scotty? Meh. If anyone on that show is going to earn my fannish heart, it will be the Irish guy who was on Moonlight OR Daniel Day Kim or Grace Park. OMG, Grace Park is so effin' hot.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:45 pm (UTC)
I just.. he always plays a cocky douche nozzle and I want to prove to him personally that he's not all that. He's not even the lining on the bag of chips!
minstrel666
Sep. 28th, 2010 09:10 pm (UTC)
Hey, if people can declare Sarah Jessica PArker sexy (...why?), I think we can give the short dude some love too. *goes away in a huff about 5'5 height*
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:46 pm (UTC)
I've not, so I get to make other claims. Also, my ex was 6' 8", I have a type!
gabzilla
Sep. 28th, 2010 09:25 pm (UTC)
NONONONONONONONONONO!! Does NOT lovez the Scott Caan! I tried to watch the 5-0 peeking around my fingers.
ew.

no.

stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:46 pm (UTC)
WE ARE LIKE SISTERS.
elizardbits
Sep. 28th, 2010 09:45 pm (UTC)
Ugh, Scott Caan. Not attractive. Also, there are no attractive men on Entourage, which makes me lol.
stoney321
Sep. 28th, 2010 11:47 pm (UTC)
BWEEEEEE, TRUE. I mean, really, NOT A ONE. (Please tell me that you saw the ad for the "real housewives of gay New York, aka A List, starting on Logo in a week. OH MY GOD, LIZ. It's so wonderfully bitchy looking.)
captainofidiots
Sep. 29th, 2010 12:41 am (UTC)
He's basically the ultimate creeper. His head... what the fuck it wrong with his head? Short and blond isn't my type at all.
stoney321
Sep. 29th, 2010 02:30 pm (UTC)
Me, neither. Blech.
txvoodoo
Sep. 29th, 2010 01:50 am (UTC)
I DO NOT LOVE SCOTT CAAN.

:D
stoney321
Sep. 29th, 2010 02:30 pm (UTC)
This is one of the many things I admire about you.
... - txvoodoo - Sep. 29th, 2010 09:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Sep. 29th, 2010 02:31 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHA, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!!
marlo
Sep. 29th, 2010 02:45 am (UTC)
HE IS GROCE.

BRB stealing that spelling 4ever

BTW this post is brilliant and you are hilarious
stoney321
Sep. 29th, 2010 02:31 pm (UTC)
Bwah, I stole the spelling from elizardbits who is queen at such things.

I am so glad you aren't traveling anymore and are updating your tumblr. I can't start my day right without it, TRUE FACT.
... - marlo - Sep. 29th, 2010 03:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 63 comments — Leave a comment )

Tags

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

Time Wot It Is

April 2017
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      
Powered by LiveJournal.com