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THIS IS WELL OUT OF ORDER.

OMG, I'm so spammy, but I need adult interaction, lol. So we got a notice in the mail today. Allow me:

Dear Mr. [my husband's actual name],

We wanted to take a moment to let you know how much we appreciate your hard work in helping make the community look its best.

GREAT YARD!

Thank you [His name again]
Signed,
[Our HOA]


UM WHO'S HARD WORK? LIKE, SUPER DUPER HARD WORK AND I'VE NOT EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE LITERAL TON OF GRASS I MOVED LAST WEEK??? *cry* Guys, I'm an unloved middle child, I just need recognition. Ahahaha.

[I'm not actually angry, so please don't leave me a comment as if I was really anguished. BUT I AM ANGUISHED. I'm just keeping you on your toes!]

Comments

( 62 comments — Leave a comment )
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kita0610
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:14 pm (UTC)
*face*

That's... kinda sexist.
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:21 pm (UTC)
I can't tell you how many times neighbors have seen us outside (I having been digging, etc. and him sitting and keeping me company, and I like it that way) and start asking him advice on how to do blah blah blah.


To his credit he always says, "Oh, I only know how to push a mower, my wife is the gardener."
captainofidiots
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:26 pm (UTC)
You deserve a margarita and a massage. Pronto.
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:26 pm (UTC)
I CONCUR, MADAM.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:39 pm (UTC)
Yep, to him alone. BOO, OLD LADIES THAT WORK AT THE HOA OFFICE. BOO.
(Deleted comment)
... - stoney321 - Oct. 14th, 2010 07:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
jgracio
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:35 pm (UTC)
Well now, we can't have no Texas Rose doing gardening, now can we? :D

So surely it must be the work of the Mister. Or some sort of alien from south of the border...


But hey, the work was recognized. That counts for something, right?
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:40 pm (UTC)
LOL. OMG, the scariest thing you'll ever meet is a Rosarian that happens to be a DAR member. She'll cut your throat!

And yes, I was happy that the work was recognized, I'm just being spammy. :)
dovil
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:39 pm (UTC)
Maybe they just saw you out in the yard and thought you were a dude. It could be that! lol
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:42 pm (UTC)
I knew I would regret those testicle pants! The lady at the store assured me they were the latest style as they "heightened my femininity through contrast" but now I see that she was full of lies and boogers.
... - dovil - Oct. 14th, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 14th, 2010 08:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - elizardbits - Oct. 14th, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 14th, 2010 10:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - judetwee - Oct. 14th, 2010 11:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - elizardbits - Oct. 14th, 2010 11:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 14th, 2010 11:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - elizardbits - Oct. 14th, 2010 11:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:43 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHA, that would be awesome! And I feel as if your hands are on my shoulders, your eyes boring into mine as if to say "I SEE YOU." I do not appreciate what you're doing with your foot, however.

OMG, that is badass of your mom!!
a_mistletoe
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:41 pm (UTC)
*grumbles* I was just about to get my torches and pitchforks out.

Now get in that kitchen and make [husband's real name]'s dinner at once.
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, and I better freshen my lipstick, he's work so hard all day, he doesn't need to come home to a frump! *adds to To Do List to listerine-douche*
... - a_mistletoe - Oct. 14th, 2010 07:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
fishwithfeet
Oct. 14th, 2010 07:55 pm (UTC)
You are obviously so anguished! It is an affront to your status as Gardener (notice it's capitalized, it's a TITLE) that they should assume the Mister did all the work! HOW DARE THEY


:D :D :D


Also... if I'm driving through Texas on my way from Florida to Washington state, can I stop by and have some yummy drinks with you? Maybe hop in the pool?
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 08:18 pm (UTC)
I AM DISTRAUGHT. HORRIBLY DISTRAUGHT.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 08:19 pm (UTC)
Mm hmm, those WOMEN did me wrong. Why the women hatin' on women bid-nazz? HATERZ GONE HATE.
cityphonelines
Oct. 14th, 2010 08:03 pm (UTC)
Do they not know they sent this to the husband of a MASTER GARDENER? How DARE. No, really in all seriousness, it should be addressed to the household, that's just proper etiquette and everyone knows all household decisions and modifications are made and overseen by the missus
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 08:20 pm (UTC)
I'm right there with you on it needing to have been addressed to the HOUSEHOLD. Harumph!
copykween
Oct. 14th, 2010 09:06 pm (UTC)
Wow, good job, HOA! Haha I guess it would have been too hard to at least put Mr. AND MRS. Stoney?
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 09:24 pm (UTC)
I know, right?
cousinmary
Oct. 14th, 2010 09:12 pm (UTC)
Well, that does kinda suck. I mean, the work! I was exhausted just reading about it!

Maybe you need to add some glittery pink flamingos? A topiary high heel?
Oh! Your name spelled out in petunias?
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 09:25 pm (UTC)
OOOH, I WILL ADD A GIANT TOPIARY OF ME GIVING THE FINGER! :D
... - veracity - Oct. 14th, 2010 10:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
jenbooks
Oct. 14th, 2010 09:12 pm (UTC)
The mere mention of the letters H, O, and A in that order makes my blood pressure rise and sends me into HULKSMASH territory.

Grr.

stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 09:26 pm (UTC)
Ours is pretty decent, all things considered. We don't have problems or really even hear of problems in the neighborhood. But those old ladies from the office should be a leeeetle more forward thinking and drop the 50s crap. ;)
... - veracity - Oct. 14th, 2010 10:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
pluckygirl
Oct. 14th, 2010 09:40 pm (UTC)
Love you Mrs. Hard working Yard lady. :D
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC)
WHEEEEEE! *basks* Haha, thanks!
... - pluckygirl - Oct. 14th, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
... - stoney321 - Oct. 14th, 2010 10:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
menomegirl
Oct. 14th, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
Well, that sucks out loud.
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC)
I know, right? Poo.
lynnenne
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
BOOOOOOOOOO.
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC)
*throws tomatoes*
flaming_muse
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:17 pm (UTC)
Oh, world. Why are you so clueless?
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:36 pm (UTC)
And I just went outside and pruned all of my basil and planted my shallots and garlic and-

OR WAS THAT MY HUSBAND? who's on a plane
elizardbits
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)
You need a t-shirt that says I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING GARDENER, BITCHES.
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:37 pm (UTC)
I WOULD WEAR THAT WITH PINK FLORAL LADY GLOVES.
mumsisdaughter
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:43 pm (UTC)
Your Vicky icon says it all. The letter should have been addressed to the whole family. (What is HOA?)

Mr S could reply, putting the matter straight and enclosing a photo of you hard at work whilst wearing the country testicle outfit. You could become April in next year's Local Gardens calendar. :)

stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 11:36 pm (UTC)
Vicky so often speaks for me...

Ahaha, that's a FABULOUS solution to my made-up problem, I love it!
darlas_mom
Oct. 14th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC)
That is just rude! Seriously no "Mr and Mrs," or "the Stoney family?" They are not invited to play bridge next week, right? ;-)
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 11:35 pm (UTC)
NEITHER SHALL THEY ATTEND CANASTA!
minstrel666
Oct. 14th, 2010 11:28 pm (UTC)
Why is it that I see "and you best keep it that way. Clean yards prevent accidents. We all want to avoid accidents, don't we?" between the lines?
stoney321
Oct. 14th, 2010 11:34 pm (UTC)
Um...because you're eastern European? I have no idea, dude.
(Deleted comment)
stoney321
Oct. 15th, 2010 12:43 am (UTC)
It's just so... perfectly wrong. He'll hopefully laugh when he gets home - he's up in the big blue yonder, not set to land until 10pm.
ruthless1
Oct. 15th, 2010 04:16 am (UTC)
CHOMPS his little itty bitty head off (the HOA person's head - NOT your husbands). Chews it up and then puts the pieces back on his body.
eeewwww. That even grossed ME out!
zyrya
Oct. 15th, 2010 05:34 am (UTC)
If you want credit for fixing your car and moving all that dirt around, grow a penis. Duh.
brunettepet
Oct. 15th, 2010 06:41 am (UTC)
Dude! That's just rude.

We got a neighborhood association email with the subject line "The blight of the neighborhood" and my husband turned to me and started laughing. We both assumed it was our dead lawn and disinterest that had caught someone's attention! No, it was the lone college rental and its three foot high weeds peppered with discarded red plastic cups from the start of term kegger. Hilarious that the subject gave us both pause.
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( 62 comments — Leave a comment )

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Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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