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I spent all day (and I mean ALL day) at a Pizza Hut eating pizza. Sounds great? Uh... if I ever see a spongy piece of dough slopped with grease, pepperonis, sausages, and cold slimy mushrooms again, I might burst into tears. It was supposed to be a day where we got in at 7am, got wardrobe approved, touched up makeup, and started filming at 8:30, to be turned loose at 3 (after a nice hour long lunch.) I left at 8:25pm. The principal actors were actual Pizza Hut employees from all over the country (very cute kids - I say kids, and they're late teens, but you get my point) who were probably too excited by the whole "flew into a big city to film a commercial and have a two day vacation" to worry about learning their lines.

After a few hours the (very patient) assistant director would say one of their lines in the manner he wanted it delivered and get them to repeat it after him. All while rolling. Which means that I and my lovely co-actors had to continually "eat" pizza until they yelled cut. A lovely (and oh my god, hilarious) fellow actor, Z, and I were singled out for two different Real Employee segments. Which meant that we sat at a table, a loving couple, eating the same damn piece of pizza for - and I am not exaggerating - two hours. That piece was so mushy on the tip from me lipping it over and over again. One of the corporate shirts came out to marvel at how we were working that piece of pizza. "We can bring you a fresh-" "NOOOOO!" we chorused. Ahahaha. See, we'd have to bite the tip off the new piece and go through the same process again and again with each new piece. NO MORE PIZZA, EH MEH GHED.

By hour 10 I got the giggles something fierce. Z and I were up front again (I know how to pick colors corporate types dig, yo) and we were "reading over the menu" while the Real Employee explained some specials. I noticed that there was a kooky misprint in my menu - a real menu, btw. One whole section was printed in Latin. No, really. The same three Latin sentences repeated for Meat Lovers Pizza, Forty Cheese lasagne Butt Blaster, and all the other menu items in that column. I mouthed this to him, and he made the funniest face (his back was to the camera) and I immediately started shaking and crying and laughing and he panicked, but found it hilarious. I got through a solid minute of trying to get it together, did, and they never caught it in the back editing room. I really really hope that scene makes the final cut, it should be hilarious to see a shaking, weeping woman in the background. LOL.

And since it was a union gig, I raked in some sweet overtime. Thank you, S.A.G.! All of the hired actors were from my agency, so they were all very professional and very fun. One guy is on Chase and The Good Guys as a stunt actor. We got to talking about how I always loved the thought of being a stunt actress (it's true, I love to jump out/off of things and take a fake punch) and he mentioned that there's a real need for lady stunt actors here. HMMM. So I'm thinking of getting a personal trainer to kick my butt back into serious shape and looking into that, because DUDE. Jumping off a 30 foot tall building? Getting "hit" by a car? OKAY! (Is my kind of fun not your kind of fun? Probably. Ha.)

Today is massive catching up around the house day and prep for filming on Friday, so I'll be spotty with my online activity. But I want to say these final words about the whole leashing babies series of posts, and I've closed that poll, etc. Sorry, not a one of you convinced me that it's the right thing to do. Fortunately I am not the boss of you, right? But if you toss out the redonk answers of the poll, I am happy that most people seem to think there are better alternatives than a piece of cloth to stand in. And only 4 people committed to calling me a bitch, so that's nice, too. I was sure it would balloon up to 2 gazillion people, so that's a happy outcome. :D

OMG PARENTING. We all think our way is the right way and get really upset when it's challenged, I get it. But really, my way is the right way. It'll be so much easier if you just follow me. Shhhhhhhhhhhhh. *chloroforms*

:D (and really, I promise not to be mad if you need to defriend me over being an opinionated jerk off. I yam what I yam.)

Comments

( 55 comments — Leave a comment )
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enigmaticblues
Nov. 17th, 2010 02:35 pm (UTC)
You know, I like pizza, but that...sounds disgusting. *gags*

Also, is this a local or national commercial? Because if national, I will actually watch the commercial in hopes of seeing a crying woman in the background. Heh.
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 02:41 pm (UTC)
Pizza. Hours in your hand. The grease, oh the grease! I believe it's a national ad?
elizardbits
Nov. 17th, 2010 02:36 pm (UTC)
OKAY WAIT what if they're not leashed but harnessed together like a team of matched horses? THEN THEY CAN DO MANUAL LABOR AS GOD INTENDED.
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 02:40 pm (UTC)
Aww, Liz, you think of all the best ways to humiliate little ones! I APPROVE!
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mockingbirdq
Nov. 17th, 2010 02:43 pm (UTC)
People are defriending you over baby leashes? Seriously? It hardly seems worth getting that offending over ...

Now if you start writing about how disgusting breastfeeding is and how attachment parenting is a betrayal of feminism, then I might consider you unworthy of reading anymore, but I rather feel those are a lot more personal and worthy of defensiveness :p
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 02:59 pm (UTC)
No, I'm just saying that you CAN. And pfft, moms get het up over stuff like that, I mean, I was about my opinion on it, afterall.

But yeah, I think breastfeeding is disgusting and attachment parenting is a bad idea - I need to watch my stories unencumbered, thank you!
prophecygirrl
Nov. 17th, 2010 02:52 pm (UTC)
In web design, sometimes you substitute a block of Latin text "Lorem ipsum..." for the text you intend to go in a certain spot so that people will focus on the layout and not argue for two hours about the wording of a particular paragraph. It's also saved my ass lots of times at 2am when I was so punchy I would probably make up content that would get my ass fired.

Sounds like they do the same thing in fast food menu design!

I find this HYSTERICAL. I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS COMMERCIAL!!!!eleventy!!!!!
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 03:00 pm (UTC)
THAT'S IT!!!! THAT'S THE PHRASE!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It didn't get removed and was in the actual restaurant, lol!
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wickedsin
Nov. 17th, 2010 05:26 pm (UTC)
omg, I've been off lj for a week so I had to go back to the leashing posts...

I'm not a parent, but I had parents, and my parents had expectations of my behavior in public, and they taught me the behavior and held me to it, and if I threw a tantrum somewhere, there were consequences...

I think it's called "good parenting" with a side of "environmental integration"?

There were no leashes necessary, b/c I knew how to behave. That's all I'm saying.
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 07:41 pm (UTC)
YEAH. I agree with what you have to say here. :)
flaming_muse
Nov. 17th, 2010 05:42 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure most if not all of us LIKE you because you are opinionated. There's nothing worse than people being wishy-washy.

I like that you have so much fun while being bored and nauseated at work! If I had to eat soggy pizza for hours I'd want it to be with you.

Also, tell us about picking good colors for commercials!
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 07:44 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha, I'm holding you to that! I got a comment yesterday praising me for not backing down, and I'm thinking, "Why would I? I'm right? LOL." <-- only partially joking. I'll admit I'm wrong when I'm wrong, but for opinions on stuff like that? Hmm, 15 years + 3 kids = I feel pretty confident. (Not to mention growing up in a huge family.)

OY. THE PIZZA. But yeah, it's so fun when you have people with a similar sense of humor. We'd make up horrible things that we'd mouth to each other (you don't actually speak on camera) and after several hours, I just lost it. Whee!!

GOOD COLORS FOR CORPORATE GIGS: #1 purple. ROYAL purple. #2 Emerald green. Deep saturated colors are always great, minus red. Red stands out too much, and often conflicts with logos. I have a baby blue cardigan that whenever I wear it, I always get brought up to the front of the pack. That color films well. Teal is another one that looks great on film. We had to bring four changes of clothes, and guess what my color palate was? :)
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voodoochild9
Nov. 17th, 2010 05:51 pm (UTC)
I thought usually in food commercials with people eating food, they have the actors spit the food out when the take is done, but I don't know much about how commercials are made and I read that factoid somewhere in a book I guess it varies on what kind of food it is?

stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 07:46 pm (UTC)
That would be for a "bite and smile" which is when you're being filmed eating it, as in, you are the only one in the shot. You do actually bite and chew, then you spit it out.

When there's other action happening or it's a wider shot, you can just fake bite like we did. (Not all of the actors did that. Some were starving actors and ate it all. Ha!)
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stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 07:47 pm (UTC)
My piece was so greasy... And you can't have napkins showing, because then it looks like there's something wrong with the food, so you have to wait for them to yell cut before you can wipe anything. And you'll do maybe 15 takes before they call cut. Gleh.

I like to think so! WHEE! *shoots self out of a cannon*
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tabaqui
Nov. 17th, 2010 06:13 pm (UTC)
BWAAA!!
I always wondered what, for instance, Mr. Ackles did in his many 'chomping food like a hound dog' scenes. I mean - the food is *in his mouth*, all masticated and gross. Does he spit into a bucket? Does he just suck it up and eat it?

That would be.....blech. Either one. Heh.

And what colors *do* the corporate types dig, eh? :)

A stunt-woman job would be too freakin' cool. I'm afraid i, however, would probably do more damage to my co-workers than myself.
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 07:48 pm (UTC)
See my comments above for more on the "bite and smile" technique (it's actually considered a technique) and the colors that work best.

How freaking fun would it be to get jerked on a zip line as if you got caught in a bomb explosion? I WOULD LOVE IT.
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gabzilla
Nov. 17th, 2010 09:28 pm (UTC)
I just like clicking buttons! Clicky clicky!
I heard stunt women had to be super crazy skinny because they had to have padding but not look, ahem, larger than the teenytiny actresses that they're subbing for. Sounds adventurous, though.

And I only clicked the B word option because so many of the other answers for the other questions were so out there that I thought that answer must have been hyperbole as well. Then I clicked, and went Oh Shit.
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
CLICKITY CLICK CLICK!
Could be - if so, I'm out. But if they need a stuunt double for Amy Madigan, I'm totally down.

LOL, YOU HATE ME AND MY CHILDREN AND MY PETS, ADMIT IT. (dude, that was there for comic relief. AREN'T YOU RELIEVED?)

In conclusion, Matt. Damon.
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lynnenne
Nov. 17th, 2010 09:32 pm (UTC)
Yay for overtime! And you would make a KICK-ASS stunt lady.
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 09:58 pm (UTC)
WOOT, paycheck in time for herliday sherpin'!

I would loooooove to do stunts. Totally flippin' fun.
risingtofall
Nov. 17th, 2010 09:35 pm (UTC)
HA that is hilarious. I love your work stories lol. But yeah, Pizza Hut always seems like a good idea until you've had two pieces and then you're all "WHY did I do that?! This isn't pizza! These are grease filled sponges!"

Although, i'm not going to lie, I'm hungry and this made me craze Pizza Hut like whoa regardless.
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 10:03 pm (UTC)
I feel that way about most fast food pizza, to be honest. (Except I do like the Brooklyn style pizza at Dominos. It's the least greasy/spongy aside of all their options.)

I had leftover Mexican, and I'm rethinking everything. Milk was a bad choice.
ladycyndra
Nov. 17th, 2010 10:23 pm (UTC)
I APPROVE OF YOUR BECOMING A STUNT WOMAN.

I don't think anyone would go so far as to defriend you for your leashing thoughts. *blink* Has anyone disappeared from your list? ANYWAY. Their loss if it happens. XD

Also, you made me want a pizza, damn you.
kita0610
Nov. 17th, 2010 10:46 pm (UTC)
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

also, which icon to use, the Mormon one or the zombie one? GAH!
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entrenous88
Nov. 17th, 2010 10:59 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, be careful when you are an awesome stunt woman, Stoney! Don't let them throw you from a moving car! *wraps you in pockets of air packing materials*
stoney321
Nov. 17th, 2010 11:00 pm (UTC)
If they do, I'll make they they have the street lined with hamsters so I can be cushioned by their love and then we'll roll about and chitter!

HEEE, J. *pops bubble on nose*
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Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.

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